If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Medford Mail Tribune)   Attention fireworks enthusiasts: There's a very good reason why mortars are launched from tubes and have extra long wicks. So if one doesn't fire, taking it out of the tube and lighting the 1/4" of remaining wick is not advisable   (mailtribune.com) divider line 146
    More: Fail, Oregon Health & Science University, brightness  
•       •       •

11272 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 11:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



146 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-30 09:59:59 AM
Still it went really high and went all BOOOM!!! and FHWWSSSSSHHHHHH! and POP! POP!

Fireworks are awesome.

/pop pop
 
2013-06-30 10:32:12 AM
Adblock tells me it blocked 42 ads on that site. Talk about blowing up.
 
2013-06-30 10:41:49 AM
Ah, I see alcohol was involved.
 
2013-06-30 11:01:38 AM
"Please enable Javascript"

lol No.
 
2013-06-30 11:17:02 AM
So when do the yearly 4th of July and back yard grilling safety tips news reports start?
 
2013-06-30 11:25:34 AM
Now you tell me!  Where were you 25 years ago.?
 
2013-06-30 11:34:01 AM
I think this goes beyond "FAIL", and deserves the "DUMBASS" tag.


/At least he didn't try to imitate the Jackass stunt

// Come to think of it, maybe he should have
 
2013-06-30 11:34:34 AM
The firework only had about one-quarter inch of fuse left and exploded in Jenkins' hand.

The amount of people who think this is a good idea never ceases to amaze me.
 
2013-06-30 11:36:01 AM
This is why I am in charge of the Brother In law's fireworks show. I'm one of the few sober people there. No one is allowed to light off ANYTHING without my say so and supervision. We draw chalk lines on the driveway for the kids to queue up, then we have a 'launch box' for the kids where they are to light whatever fireworks they bring to the box.

A few years back one of the kids snuck off with a bunch of Black Cats after I continually warned him not to light them off until it was his turn and I could watch. No more than an hour goes by and he's running to his mom crying his eyes out because one went off in his hand. Not only did he get singed fingers, but his mom chewed him out for doing it. In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.

Aside from that little brat, no other injuries at all, I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional'), and everyone enjoys the display.
 
2013-06-30 11:36:52 AM
Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

So in Oregon, fingers are worth about $45, and palms about $25.
 
2013-06-30 11:41:33 AM
You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.
 
2013-06-30 11:42:25 AM

HST's Dead Carcass: Aside from that little brat, no other injuries at all, I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional'), and everyone enjoys the display.


Do you use HDPE for your tubes?  I've been having trouble finding it on short notice :/
 
2013-06-30 11:43:07 AM

Alonjar: The firework only had about one-quarter inch of fuse left and exploded in Jenkins' hand.

The amount of people who think this is a good idea never ceases to amaze me.


They paid good money to see an explosion dammit.  It's like getting fireworks related blue balls.  You're seconds away from a huge explosion, so safety be damned.  Unfortunately, you have a 10% chance of losing some fingers.
 
2013-06-30 11:43:57 AM

The water was cold: I think this goes beyond "FAIL", and deserves the "DUMBASS" tag.


/At least he didn't try to imitate the Jackass stunt

// Come to think of it, maybe he should have


im disappointed. he didn't try to fire it out of his ass.
 
2013-06-30 11:49:17 AM

bunner: You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.


/approves

i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-30 11:49:46 AM

Alonjar: Do you use HDPE for your tubes? I've been having trouble finding it on short notice :/


I use the stock tubes you can get at the Fireworks stand, then modify them for stability. The plastic bottoms suck, and when trying to nail them down they end up cracking or breaking. So, I Gorilla Glue and Duct Tape them to the boards.

I also get the mortars bunched together in the groups I'll launch up, usually in packs of 10-15, depending on how many tubes I have prepared. I also use about 5 shoe boxes for the kids to bring them to me in the bunches (kids are more reliable than the adults as they tend not to have a smoldering cigarette in their mouths as the carry them). My sister and her best friend guard the stockpile in the garage (they are non-smokers as well).

At launch time, everyone stays behind the Get Back Line (anyone in front of it gets yelled at by the whole crowd to Get Back! because I won't light them if anyone else is in front of it), and I'll launch a few smaller volleys. The kids go crazy wanting in on the action, so that's when I have them start bringing me the shoe boxes with the bunches. I'll get the fuses twisted and prepared, then let them light them.

It should be noted, once the fuse is lit, even I get behind the Get Back Line to reinforce the rule with the kids.

I've not done a show in 2 years now because of all the fire restrictions in Colorado. With wildfires this year and last year, I don't want to go to jail.
 
2013-06-30 11:50:41 AM
Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

lol
 
2013-06-30 11:50:51 AM

bunner: You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.


I am amazed how many shows I see that still hand-fire with road flares. I have seen the show guys more than once get one that goes off completely in the the tube.

Alcohol and "it's just a big firecracker" are why the injury described in the article occurred.
 
2013-06-30 11:57:48 AM
This should not be condoned.
Please, no one give him a hand.
 
2013-06-30 11:59:44 AM
You can blow static mortar chrysanthemums in an arena off the truss if the load charge and dispersal ball is correctly measured, but not with a Bic.  Splosives.  Not for people who giggle a lot and can afford a book of matches.
 
2013-06-30 12:03:04 PM

HST's Dead Carcass: In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.


That's a novel defense, counselor.
 
2013-06-30 12:06:39 PM
Mortars are serious business. This doesn't make sense to people today since you don't need a background check to buy it. Don't fark around with them. Make sure you use them correctly and place them on a firm level base. I have seen one fall over and bombard the crowd. It was like a Vietnam movie with explosions and people diving for cover.
 
2013-06-30 12:08:28 PM
Fuse, not wick.
 
2013-06-30 12:10:42 PM
I say use no warnings. We need to thin the herd.
 
2013-06-30 12:11:30 PM
You people know WAY too much about fireworks.

I quit thinking about them when I was about 14.
 
2013-06-30 12:11:35 PM
Never handle a dud pyrotechnic.  Leave it where it is and don't go near it.

Next day, wearing hearing, eye, face and hand protection, use a shovel to pick it up and dump it into a five gallon bucket of water.  Then forget about it for another day.

My buddies and I were down in Mexico shooting these huge rockets off the beach, when one of them failed to fire.  I told the guys just to forget about it, so we left it stuck in the sand and moved about fifty feet away.  We keep shooting, and about twenty minutes later, the dud takes off and flies perfectly.

/ I hate holding fireworks in my hands.  I'm much happier handling them in bags, by the stick, etc.
 
2013-06-30 12:12:53 PM
To set the record straight:

Mortars are not launched from tubes. Mortars ARE the tubes, which launch shells.


/worked on a couple of July 4 shows so got familiar with the terminology
 
2013-06-30 12:15:14 PM
Guess we know for sure which hand he uses to jack off with now.
 
2013-06-30 12:16:25 PM
I say screw the fireworks this year. At 10pm everyone get there gun out and shoot it in the air.
Of course, use a blank.
 
2013-06-30 12:18:50 PM
When you think about it, it's really amazing that the only certification one needs to acquire and set off fireworks (aka explosives) is some form of cash.
 
2013-06-30 12:22:46 PM
I guess he'll be known as "Lefty" now.

He's lucky he didn't try to relight a misfired mortar while looking down the tube. That actually happened a few years ago in the Chicago area, and the genius who tried it wound up a head shorter for his trouble.
 
2013-06-30 12:24:05 PM
www.thethomaslawfirm.com

Why don't we blame the cars?
Fireworks are awesome.
 
2013-06-30 12:25:22 PM
Mortars are awesome when they blow up on land.

The trick is to be VERY FAR AWAY when this happens.

/have blowed up a few illegal fireworks in Oregon in my day
//still have all my fingers, toes, etc.
///alcohol was usually involved
 
2013-06-30 12:25:49 PM

jmr61: You people know WAY too much about fireworks.

I quit thinking about them when I was about 14.


Apparently not.
 
2013-06-30 12:28:34 PM
*insert subby's mom joke here*
 
2013-06-30 12:29:28 PM

HST's Dead Carcass: This is why I am in charge of the Brother In law's fireworks show. I'm one of the few sober people there. No one is allowed to light off ANYTHING without my say so and supervision. We draw chalk lines on the driveway for the kids to queue up, then we have a 'launch box' for the kids where they are to light whatever fireworks they bring to the box.

A few years back one of the kids snuck off with a bunch of Black Cats after I continually warned him not to light them off until it was his turn and I could watch. No more than an hour goes by and he's running to his mom crying his eyes out because one went off in his hand. Not only did he get singed fingers, but his mom chewed him out for doing it. In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.

Aside from that little brat, no other injuries at all, I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional'), and everyone enjoys the display.


Just like Hunter would've done ...
 
2013-06-30 12:30:25 PM

Godscrack: "Please enable Javascript"

lol No.


I was able to read it for a moment before the browser wiped out the text & told me to enable JavaScript in order for the website to "function properly".
 
2013-06-30 12:31:22 PM
What bothered me almost as much as a person losing his hand was the fact that the cops had to go for the revenue grubbing opportunity anyway. isn't loss of a major body part enough of a lesson learned?
 
2013-06-30 12:35:36 PM

Molavian: Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

lol


Not saying he shouldn't be find, but talk about some salt in the wound.
 
2013-06-30 12:36:14 PM

Claude Ballse: Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

So in Oregon, fingers are worth about $45, and palms about $25.


How much for a rectum?

i4.ytimg.com
 
2013-06-30 12:38:16 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-30 12:40:09 PM
They paid good money to see an explosion dammit.  It's like getting fireworks related blue balls.  You're seconds away from a huge explosion, so safety be damned.  Unfortunately, you have a 10% chance of losing some fingers.

I like those odds.

/now hold my beer and watch this
 
2013-06-30 12:40:56 PM
Ah yes. The Fourth of July season. Where we have a chance to weed out some of the really stupid people from our gene pool for another year.
 
2013-06-30 12:42:07 PM
And because we have idiots like this out there soon enough all fireworks will be banned.
The idiots always ruin it for the rest of us.
 
2013-06-30 12:47:19 PM
CSB: Back when I was in second grade, a fireworks factory about four miles away from me blew up. I remember seeing the mushroom cloud from the playground during recess. Due to the lay of the land, the shock wave was directed away from my immediate area, so I didn't hear the blast.

A couple of days later, my dad took us by the plant site. It was mostly leveled, with debris plastered against the chain-link fence.

I dug up a report about the incident [warning, large PDF], and as it turned out, from 1970 through 1973, a fireworks factory blew up in Illinois every year. The crazy thing is that the state fire marshal didn't even know about the existence of some of these facilities until after they blew up!

I wish there was some way to link to the Historic Aerials view of the site. Comparing the 1962 and 1974 aerial photos will give you an idea of the devastation.
 
2013-06-30 12:53:23 PM
This headline makes no sense.
 
2013-06-30 12:53:58 PM
There are fireworks in the men's bathroom at my office on every Taco Tuesday.
 
2013-06-30 01:01:01 PM
I finally landed the ER nightshift on the fourth of July this year.  Needless to say, I'm pretty excited.  Yinzers are already kinda dumb as a rule, but when you add the WV hill people into the mix, there are usually a handful of solid drinking- and firework-related incidents every year.
 
2013-06-30 01:09:13 PM
I don't use a fuse with my mortar, I use a linstock:

i46.tinypic.com

Then again, my mortar is actual artillery, not a fireworks launcher.   A 15 oz tin can half full of cement, weighing a solid 1 lb, and screaming down at you from 600+ feet high is going to ruin your whole day.
 
2013-06-30 01:14:14 PM
Darwin can't win them all it seems.
 
Displayed 50 of 146 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report