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(Daily Kos)   Pastor asks congregation to donate $50,000 to feed and clothe the homeless. Just kidding. It's a megachurch pastor and the money is for fixing his helicopter   (dailykos.com) divider line 258
    More: Asinine, Nissan Sentra, Robert F. Kennedy, homeless  
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14900 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 2:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



258 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-29 11:30:30 PM
Even con artists have expenses.
 
2013-06-29 11:32:38 PM
Mazel tov!
 
2013-06-29 11:34:46 PM
Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?
 
2013-06-29 11:37:30 PM
www.newlight.org
 
2013-06-29 11:39:46 PM
Congregations on writing what will surely be the headline of the week, subby.
 
2013-06-29 11:40:53 PM
I had something else typed but fark ate it. Anyway, that is absolutely crazy. I'm still not entirely convinced it isn't satire.
 
2013-06-29 11:43:10 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?


religion makes people stupid
 
2013-06-29 11:44:24 PM

violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Astounding.

He's actually saying that if you donate money to his helicopter upgrade, God will provide money for your own car repairs.

I'll admit, I really didn't believe that the health and wealth gospel was real.  But there it is.
 
2013-06-29 11:46:14 PM
Congregations on the greenlight!
 
2013-06-29 11:52:40 PM
Personal Jesus.
 
2013-06-29 11:55:56 PM
I'm surprised no one here jumped on "Are you trying to  salea car..."

Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive.  It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.
 
2013-06-29 11:59:03 PM
In exchange for money, he said the Lord will issue a favor to congregants that might help them obtain their dream vehicle.

That's a better deal than I get from Wall Street.
 
2013-06-29 11:59:03 PM

jake_lex: I'm surprised no one here jumped on "Are you trying to  salea car..."

Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive.  It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.


What galls me most is how he has to dress it up as an exchange, complete with appeal to greed.  He couldn't just say "We need X dollars to upgrade the helicopter" and "It's okay to pray for your finances."  Instead, it was "Give us X dollars to upgrade the helicopter and God MIGHT help your finances."
 
2013-06-30 12:00:24 AM
Bill Graham flies into power lines and this sh*tstain is allowed to live

/there is no god
 
2013-06-30 12:02:30 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bill Graham flies into power lines and this sh*tstain is allowed to live

/there is no god


Yeah, I hope this asshole's "Aviation manager" used to work for Stevie Ray Vaughn.

Seriously, what the fark kind of church has an "Aviation Manager"?
 
2013-06-30 12:03:43 AM
disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com
Why does God Need A Helicopter?
 
2013-06-30 12:12:17 AM
It's like a bad Facebook post or email forward.
 
2013-06-30 12:17:17 AM

Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid


No, people made religion stupid.

There are very valid underlying philosophies that are worth examining in each of the popular religions. The mumbo-jumbo is easily separated from this (as it should be)

Stupid people using it as an escape from reality have just polluted what should otherwise be a noble and though-provoking exploration of ourselves, each other and all the things and reasons in this world we don't yet understand. This is nothing new, it's a timeless tradition.

Intelligent and honest people don't need to dismiss religion, they need to make it their own. It's not like the morons that believe angels are following them to work have any clue what it is they're doing anyways. 90% of the self professed Christians in this nation simply CAN NOT reconcile the cornerstones of their religions with their own lives and beliefs. (If we could, we wouldn't all be fat, greedy war-mongers.)
 We stomp on religion today. But it's not that deserving of it, it's the people that use it for their own selfish ends that need to be drug into the street and boo'd.

/Such as the db in tfa.

Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.
 
2013-06-30 12:18:09 AM
A rotary winged sty.

I hope he gets some Dr House level disease that makes him totally incontinent with constant flatulence topped off with chronic diarrhea.
 
2013-06-30 12:28:45 AM

violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Is this real life?
 
2013-06-30 12:31:33 AM

MurphyMurphy: No, people made religion, stupid.


FTFY
 
2013-06-30 12:37:33 AM

Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?


as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.
 
2013-06-30 12:50:39 AM
The Bible verse he references in the letter says this:

2 Chronicles 20:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful."

So, this charlatan is essentially calling himself a prophet.
 
2013-06-30 12:53:37 AM

Bathia_Mapes: The Bible verse he references in the letter says this:

2 Chronicles 20:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful."

So, this charlatan is essentially calling himself a prophet.


Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!

/That's spelled "Profit"
 
2013-06-30 12:53:56 AM

violentsalvation: Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?

as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.


Bishop says:
In the letter there is no mention of a ministry need of $50,000 but an opportunity to save $50,000

So, there's no limit to how much they can take in.
 
2013-06-30 12:54:27 AM

violentsalvation: Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?

as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.


I like how it says "we didn't say we needed $50,000, we said we could save $50,000". The unstated part is that they likely need way more than 50k in order to save that much money on aircraft parts.
 
2013-06-30 12:58:33 AM

jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.


i.imgur.comi.imgur.com

It has some roots in 19th and early 20th century liberal mind-cure/religious healing sort of stuff. A lot of that did already have a Christian flavor to it, but its the hypercapitalist fantasy that really sets this contemporary  stuff apart.
 
2013-06-30 01:15:54 AM

Bucky Katt: cameroncrazy1984: Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?

religion makes people stupid


Also, people who are naturally stupid, or damaged, or desperate, kind of find their way to religion.
 
2013-06-30 01:16:18 AM
This seems to be a decent article to precede the next green lit article.
 
2013-06-30 01:20:40 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: The Bible verse he references in the letter says this:

2 Chronicles 20:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful."

So, this charlatan is essentially calling himself a prophet.

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!

/That's spelled "Profit"


Heh! You are correct, sir. :-D
 
2013-06-30 01:23:40 AM

cameroncrazy1984: Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?


you're telling me you don't dream about vehicles at least once every 52 days?
 
2013-06-30 01:36:13 AM
And to think that it's all tax free. Praise Jesus.
 
2013-06-30 01:36:34 AM

jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.


It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.
 
2013-06-30 01:48:38 AM
If Jesus ever meets this twat, he is going to kick his lying, greedy balls from here to Kingdom Come.

/atheist, for damn good reason.
 
2013-06-30 02:03:18 AM
Donated... loves to help people in real need.
 
2013-06-30 02:08:51 AM

optikeye: Why does God Need A Helicopter?


He is a big Airwolf fan. How do you think the show lasted four years?
 
2013-06-30 02:11:32 AM
Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?
 
2013-06-30 02:21:45 AM
The pastor asked his "congratulation" to donate?

I had to read that several times, thinking the stinking heat even at this hour was messing with my eyes, but no, that's what the headline says.

SMH, subby.
 
2013-06-30 02:39:59 AM

silvervial: The pastor asked his "congratulation" to donate?

I had to read that several times, thinking the stinking heat even at this hour was messing with my eyes, but no, that's what the headline says.

SMH, subby.


How else can you cloth the homeless besides asking a congratulation?
 
2013-06-30 02:42:01 AM
"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money."

- George Carlin
 
2013-06-30 02:42:25 AM
Well how the hell is feeding the homeless supposed to fix his chopper? Or is he just supposed to be a chopperless megachurch pastor?
 
2013-06-30 02:45:55 AM
What a farking joke.
 
2013-06-30 02:47:11 AM

NecoConeco: Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?


Sacha Baron Cohen's next film: he goes in to character (and never breaks) as the written New Testament Jesus.  And then meets and talks woth American evangelists and politicians.
 
2013-06-30 02:48:19 AM

MurphyMurphy: Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.


I've always been a tremendous fan of Jesus. I just don't believe he was the son of God. I don't believe in God, for that matter. But that Jesus cat was alright. If I had to emulate only one person from history, it'd be him.

And that's why people like the subject of TFA astound and anger me. Despite not being a Christian I'm actually personally offended by people who use my man Jesus to dupe the gullible. I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.
 
2013-06-30 02:48:55 AM

FirstNationalBastard: optikeye: Why does God Need A Helicopter?

He is a big Airwolf fan. How do you think the show lasted four years?


Because it was awesome?
 
2013-06-30 02:49:29 AM
What does god need with a helicopter?
 
2013-06-30 02:50:55 AM
Grew up watching TBN. The Crouchs have been selling prosperity gospel for years.  If you can afford to give your dog its own mansion, I guess prosperity is working for someone.

/Took college and a few years to undo the damage those people did to my psyche.
 
2013-06-30 02:52:34 AM
Brothers and Sisters! Billy Dee Williams needs a new helicopter!
 
2013-06-30 02:53:55 AM
No, this is not asinine.  What is asinine is that his moranic followers will probably give him the money.
 
2013-06-30 02:54:46 AM

optikeye: [disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com image 450x338]
Why does God Need A Helicopter?


Came here to say that.
 
2013-06-30 02:54:47 AM
What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist
 
2013-06-30 02:56:34 AM
Q: How do you cloth people?

A: It's as easy as breatheing.
 
2013-06-30 02:58:33 AM
Why wouldn't God need a helicopter? Helicopters are awesome. God looked upon us one day and saw that we had made helicopters and spoketh, "Oh snap. That thing is dope as hell. Bless you my children for inventing a contraption that rivals my own creation."
 
2013-06-30 02:58:47 AM
Hilliard allegedly responded to Isiah Carey of Fox stating: "New Light Church World Outreach and Worship Centers, Inc. regularly make appeals

I want to laugh, but I get the feeling that's not a joke.
 
2013-06-30 02:58:56 AM
I offer subby my most enthusiastic contrafibularities for the headline
 
2013-06-30 02:59:27 AM
Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect
 
2013-06-30 03:00:39 AM
How else is gonna keep playing golf with Jesus?
 
2013-06-30 03:02:43 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mazel tov!


I wish that I could vote for this more than once! :-))

Smrt + Funnay +1,+1
 
2013-06-30 03:06:39 AM

A_Listless_Wanderer: Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect


Oh, wow! it actually was autocorrect, not intentional?!?

That makes it all the more Funnay!

(someone do the right thing, i'm broke here!)
 
2013-06-30 03:06:59 AM
Was the OBVIOUS tag in a limo with a hooker?
 
2013-06-30 03:08:59 AM
In the words of Rush LImbaugh
you have to consider the audience

and the fact is
that a very large portion of the population
is stupid
 
2013-06-30 03:09:57 AM
I got $100 that this is a Baptist or Non-Denominational Church.
/If you see a ATM machine in your church...........leave and never go back
 
2013-06-30 03:11:37 AM
Filter "Absentee Father"

"What's it gonna take
Intervene or just come clean
Where's your graceful hand?
Where's the ending, where's your reign"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TacMfL8wu1I
 
2013-06-30 03:15:03 AM

uttertosh: A_Listless_Wanderer: Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect

Oh, wow! it actually was autocorrect, not intentional?!?

That makes it all the more Funnay!



Not as funny as some of the other possible autocorrections beginning with "c".
 
2013-06-30 03:15:57 AM
Hey, my taxes went up and Air Force One got repaired, fueled, sent to Hawaii and Nantucket..  Then we got that "Cash for Clunkers"  Obama car.  So, like, you never know.
 
2013-06-30 03:16:25 AM

Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist


Actually Paul wrote quite a bit about warning the church that there would be people that tried to subvert the church from within. Sadly the prosperity gospel is not really supported by scripture.  The problem isn't necessarily getting new helicopter equipment (though I see no reason why a church would ever need such equipment in the first place), but rather the pastor indicating a quid pro quo type transaction for giving money to the church. That is entirely unbiblical and sadly unchristian.

Organized religion has certainly led to a plethora of problems in society, but as this is not true Christian behavior, it should not be counted against true Christianity as taught by the Bible.
 
2013-06-30 03:21:24 AM

Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist


What makes me laugh is the fact that Christians claim that their Jesus is the one who went into the Synagogues and told the people to get rid of the "moneychangers in the temple", yet these Christians attend Megachurches where the pastor, his family, and his staff ARE the moneychangers! They go into the megachurch and come out with a bill saying "Give the church 10 % of your wealth, to be a good Christian, and give us your tax returns to make sure you're giving your tithe." Judaism and Islam have the same guilt trip in their particular faiths, but no one is prying into someone's personal life to make sure they're being a "good person" in the eyes of the religious leader (who in Christianity's hands is mainly a fraudster as seen through these Megachurches)

/Jew
 
2013-06-30 03:21:31 AM
I'd like to replace my 17-year-old Stratus with something brand-new. Any y'all care to help me out with that?? (I mean, you do believe in me, right?) Nothing real fancy. A Ford Taurus or a Chrysler 200 would do just fine.
 
2013-06-30 03:26:06 AM

Lordserb: though I see no reason why a church would ever need such equipment in the first place


The church has 5 locations. How else are you gonna spread the Good Word in a timely fashion?
 
2013-06-30 03:28:20 AM

Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist



i112.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-30 03:30:31 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: What makes me laugh is the fact that Christians claim that their Jesus is the one who went into the Synagogues and told the people to get rid of the "moneychangers in the temple", yet these Christians attend Megachurches where the pastor, his family, and his staff ARE the moneychangers! They go into the megachurch and come out with a bill saying "Give the church 10 % of your wealth, to be a good Christian, and give us your tax returns to make sure you're giving your tithe." Judaism and Islam have the same guilt trip in their particular faiths, but no one is prying into someone's personal life to make sure they're being a "good person" in the eyes of the religious leader (who in Christianity's hands is mainly a fraudster as seen through these Megachurches)


Actually in Islam, getting into heaven is done by one of two ways.  Either you did more good than bad in your life (meaning that it is important for people in religious organizations to ensure people are living a good personal life) or martyring yourself.

But yes,  these megachurch pastors do seem to be involved in very suspect practices that are not supported by the Bible.

The 10% tithe, however, came from Abram giving 10% of the money he gained to Melchizidek. Tithing in the church today, of course, is still completely between God and the person.
 
2013-06-30 03:32:39 AM

Xanlexian: Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist


[i112.photobucket.com image 640x444]


Of course, the Devil continuously quoting and fulfilling scripture would nullify that entire argument...
 
2013-06-30 03:33:37 AM

Lordserb: The 10% tithe, however, came from Abram giving 10% of the money he gained to Melchizidek. Tithing in the church today, of course, is still completely between God and the person.


I was always under the assumption that the 10% tithe, priests not being able to marry, things like this were all played up by the early and middle-age church to keep the flow of property and income headed to Rome.
 
2013-06-30 03:35:37 AM
They should pitch in and get this tool one of those 'Do-it-yourself hovercrafts' you always saw as a kid in Popular Science or Things You Never Knew Existed catalogs.
 
2013-06-30 03:36:36 AM

MurphyMurphy: Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid

No, people made religion stupid.

There are very valid underlying philosophies that are worth examining in each of the popular religions. The mumbo-jumbo is easily separated from this (as it should be)

Stupid people using it as an escape from reality have just polluted what should otherwise be a noble and though-provoking exploration of ourselves, each other and all the things and reasons in this world we don't yet understand. This is nothing new, it's a timeless tradition.

Intelligent and honest people don't need to dismiss religion, they need to make it their own.
We stomp on religion today. But it's not that deserving of it, it's the people that use it for their own selfish ends that need to be drug into the street and boo'd.

/Such as the db in tfa.

Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.


Well said, and I don't know if I've heard this argument put in this way before. Usually, when I hear in a conversation the statement that someone is against "organized religion," my eyes would glaze over in anticipation of mindless drivel, but they don't have to because the speaker is usually done, leaning back to take in the effects of their hip, edgy, independent-thinker mentality on my dumb little religious brain.
Organized religion, or the people acting in the name of it, has led to a lot of awfulness. But I would argue, part for parcel, in ways that don't get reported on too often in the public consciousness in the same way that airplane crashes are over-reported as against the millions of planes that take off and land safely every day, it's probably done considerably more good than harm. It gives many of us of a grounding in basic moral philosophy, it encourages tenets and codes of conduct that have a remarkable amount in common no matter what the religion or where on earth, it inspires, it gives desperate people a reason to go on, it feeds hungry people, it provides shelter to abused people, it provides counsel to confused people, a sense of community for lonely people or newcomers to an area, and it provides a wonderful and needed safety net for people in the netherworld between middle-class comfort and the more abject poverty needed for government assistance.

That said, things like this are a big part of the problem. Megachurches sorta scare me.
 
2013-06-30 03:37:29 AM

NecoConeco: Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?


Rolex??  Pffft. Jesus would wear a Breitling Navitimer with the circular slide-rule bezel for his in-flight computations.
www.hardwatches.com
 
2013-06-30 03:38:40 AM
www.newlight.org
farm6.staticflickr.com

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-06-30 03:38:49 AM

dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.

I've always been a tremendous fan of Jesus. I just don't believe he was the son of God. I don't believe in God, for that matter. But that Jesus cat was alright. If I had to emulate only one person from history, it'd be him.

And that's why people like the subject of TFA astound and anger me. Despite not being a Christian I'm actually personally offended by people who use my man Jesus to dupe the gullible. I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.


Pretty farkin' angry.
 
2013-06-30 03:39:23 AM
Jesus walked on water there is no reason this Turkey couldn't flap his wings and fly
 
2013-06-30 03:39:35 AM
I'm the Weeners this?

southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

drjekel_mrhyde: I got $100 that this is a Baptist or Non-Denominational Church.
/If you see a ATM machine in your church...........leave and never go back


Get yer money changed, right here in the temple!

There's no Walmart of salvation. It is an individual journey for each person. I guess some people are able to get a sense of community or "salvation" from this version of it.. even if it is an obvious long-con from anyone outside looking in.

I wish people were smarter but if that makes them happy somehow they're free to be duped.
 
2013-06-30 03:40:47 AM
Is "congratulations" (instead of congregation) in the headline a typo by a drunk-mitter, or is this a reference to something else?

Thank you.
 
2013-06-30 03:41:19 AM
"One sacred chicken to go..."
 
2013-06-30 03:43:22 AM

jtown: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Is that legit? What kind of church has an "Aviation Department"?

Oh right a fake one.
 
2013-06-30 03:45:30 AM

Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid


I'm more inclined to think it's a form of mental illness.
 
2013-06-30 03:46:52 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 2 Chronicles 20:20


There's also 2 Corinthians 9:7-8 "7Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

Which is lovely, since he doesn't finish the complete statement, particularly verse 9 "9As it is written: "They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;their righteousness endures forever."

Though in the letter he does reference sowing gifts, which comes along in verse 10, but by skipping verse 9 he makes it mean something very different.

And his use of Mark 10 is super lulzy the verses he cites, 27-30

" 27Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." 28Then Peter spoke up, "We have left everything to follow you!" 29"Truly I tell you," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields-along with persecutions-and in the age to come eternal life."

Come right after Jesus tells the rich man to give up everything and come follow him, only to have the rich man walk away dejected. And right after, verse 23, is "23Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!"

This guy is a Biblical shyster of just epic proportions.
 
2013-06-30 03:48:09 AM
In all fairness, what better way is there to get all uppity than to have your own private helicopter?
 
2013-06-30 03:51:22 AM

violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Wow. I can't decide whether I am more:

* shocked at how brazen he is
* angry at what a phenomenally shiatty human being he is
* grudgingly impressed that he has so little shame and thus has become fabulously wealthy by bilking ignoramuses
* sad for the people who believe that "prosperity gospel" stuff
* pleased that "a fool and his money are soon parted" is so neatly reinforced

/"I'm looking for your name on my Specials Friends list so I can agree with you in prayer" is just so farking manipulative
 
2013-06-30 03:51:28 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: What makes me laugh is the fact that Christians claim that their Jesus is the one who went into the Synagogues and told the people to get rid of the "moneychangers in the temple", yet these Christians attend Megachurches where the pastor, his family, and his staff ARE the moneychangers! They go into the megachurch and come out with a bill saying "Give the church 10 % of your wealth, to be a good Christian, and give us your tax returns to make sure you're giving your tithe." Judaism and Islam have the same guilt trip in their particular faiths, but no one is prying into someone's personal life to make sure they're being a "good person" in the eyes of the religious leader (who in Christianity's hands is mainly a fraudster as seen through these Megachurches)


The thing you have to remember is that these fundy evangelicals don't actually read the bible. They listen to their churches and think they know what's in there.
They haven't heard about the money lenders. They don't know what was actually in the Sermon on the Mount. They certainly don't know about what Jesus said about "hypocrites who pray on street corners."
Studies have shown that in America, Atheists know more about what's in the bible than Christians.
 
2013-06-30 03:53:31 AM

danielscissorhands: Is "congratulations" (instead of congregation) in the headline a typo by a drunk-mitter, or is this a reference to something else?

Thank you.


It was a typo. Yes, I was drunk.

/still am
 
2013-06-30 04:00:57 AM
I do believe that the scene in Car Wash with Richard Pryor as Daddy Rich was intended as broad, extreme satire. (a bit of nsfw language)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbTEusaf2nU

It doesn't seem that way now. Poe's law strikes again.
 
2013-06-30 04:03:05 AM
Dr Gene Scott used to do the same thing when he wanted to buy another horse. I found his candor refreshing at a time when Oral Roberts was telling people that God wanted 8 million dollars to let him live.

/He was also the best televangelist to watch when high. I wouldn't be surprised if Glenn Beck got his chalkboard bit from him.

img809.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-30 04:05:18 AM

C18H27NO3: Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid

I'm more inclined to think it's a form of mental illness.


Going along with this plot would be a form of mental illness.

Alright, I'm seeing several broad-based references to religion as a whole, and as an admitted apologist, I'm just going to go out on a limb here - this has about as much to do with religion as rape does with sex. All of the outside accidents are there -it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck....but it ain't a duck.

This doesn't look like "religion" to me. It looks like a brazen attempt on the part of megalomaniac leadership to fleece a believing congregation out of money (and yes, I'm well aware that some enthusiastic smart-ass is going to bold that in a response post and tell me I've just defined religion). It's not anywhere close to legal fraud, but it is an exceptional deviation from appropriate behavior on the part of congregational leadership, and a pretty see-through attempt at emotional extortion.

Speaking of see-through, the article references "community outrage," and to point where he had to issue a response attempting to defend his initial quest, so I guess maybe these religious sheeple defied the norm by seeing through it.
 
2013-06-30 04:06:07 AM
Here's his house....
img10.imageshack.us
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.
 
2013-06-30 04:10:41 AM
Nice to finally see a Christian religious leader with his priorities straight...

Of course, I'm sure that I will be told that one asshat is not representative of an entire religion, most likely by someone who will also insist that all Muslims are terrorists.
 
2013-06-30 04:12:51 AM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]



This shiat always depresses me. I'm no Commie, but man, when you run around professing the Lord's word - and the Beatitudes are any part of your arsenal, which they are if you are kind of a Christian preacher - and this is the way you live, you're awful. Justin Bieber is my current daily pop culture smack in the face on that issue - really, kid? If you're such a great Christian, quit with the 50 trillion dollar pairs of diamond-studded shoelaces and show up somewhere in your own country with a banquet for the homeless. And wash their feet, while you're at it.
 
2013-06-30 04:14:26 AM
Bonanza Jellybean I LOVE your FARK handle.

Tom Robbins is one of my all-time favorites. Another Roadside Attraction covers a great deal of this silliness quite nicely. Why this book has never been developed into a major motion picture defies reasoning.
 
2013-06-30 04:18:19 AM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.

Who ever said that? T.D Jakes(black) house is more than likely twice that size plus what's a helicopter to him, he'll ask for a millions for new jet engines for his fleet.
 
2013-06-30 04:25:48 AM

bindlestiff2600: In the words of Rush LImbaugh
you have to consider the audience

and the fact is
that a very large portion of the population
is stupid


Assume intelligence has a normal distribution, just like height, or pinky size, or every other natural attribute. Now the "normal" IQ, i.e., the top point on the curve, is defined as an IQ of 100. Now, 100 is not a very high IQ. So we are saying the average person is not very bright. 50 percent of the population is not even as bright as the average person.
 
2013-06-30 04:26:14 AM
dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.

Ranger Rover: Pretty farkin' angry.

Agreed. This is not religion. It is disguised as religion, but it is abuse. It is a con job and yet another pyramid scheme.

Anyone with even an ounce of theological familiarity could undercut this guy left and right.

And I'm not sure crap like this happens because people are stupid either. I think crap like this happens because people want an easy answer- even if it's a wrong answer- and will do anything to get it... including- no, especially- fool themselves. That's a kind of idiocy, I'll grant you- but a voluntary one, not innate.

After all- this kind of BS isn't just limited to pseudo-religion... it's also present in pseudo-science and pseudo-economics and pseudo-politics. It crops up any time someone gets a bright idea how to get rich off the abuse of others... religion is just a popular disguise because it comes with tax write-offs.

[Which is a whole other subject. Even as a Christian, I don't think those tax write-offs should exist... something about giving to Caesar what is Caesar's... and getting rid of them would probably at least reduce the number of these asshats running around.]
 
2013-06-30 04:26:47 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: Who ever said that?


Yeah verily, I say unto thee. Many of our Fark brethren advocate that that the followers of Republican Jesus have a monopoly on the Gospel according to Prosperity. There are many verses espousing these beliefs written in St. Fark's epistles to the Politics tab. If that were not so, I would have told you.
 
2013-06-30 04:27:09 AM

A_Listless_Wanderer: The thing you have to remember is that these fundy evangelicals don't actually read the bible.


And for an example, the letter posted earlier in this thread. Two of the three Biblical citations when taken in context actually teach against what this guy is doing. But if you only read what he cites, it seems to support him.
 
2013-06-30 04:27:28 AM
Trayvon Martin donated 52 dollars. His dream was to ride on a cloud. Fact.
 
2013-06-30 04:35:38 AM

Ranger Rover: This doesn't look like "religion" to me. It looks like a brazen attempt on the part of megalomaniac leadership to fleece a believing congregation out of money


Agree 100%.
 
2013-06-30 04:40:53 AM

ARedthorn: dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.

Ranger Rover: Pretty farkin' angry.

Agreed. This is not religion. It is disguised as religion, but it is abuse. It is a con job and yet another pyramid scheme.


Yep. I posted just a few minutes ago trying to make that distinction, but no one has responded in organized-religion-is-the-root-of-all-evil defiance yet, but that may be because it's past three in the morning (or maybe because no one considered it worth responding to, there's that too). In the end, I'm just disheartened by the people who want to jump on obvious (and newsworthy, entailing some exception to the rule) cases like this as fodder for their argument that religion is evil. It's especially disheartening just in terms of IQ implications - there are way better ways to make the argument. If you have to latch on to things like this, you might be grasping.
 
2013-06-30 04:41:27 AM

Dahnkster: Bonanza Jellybean I LOVE your FARK handle.

Tom Robbins is one of my all-time favorites. Another Roadside Attraction covers a great deal of this silliness quite nicely. Why this book has never been developed into a major motion picture defies reasoning.


Probably because of how poorly-recieved Cowgirls was.


/haven't read anything of his since Fierce Invalids, which I enjoyed
/oh, and thanks
 
2013-06-30 04:52:48 AM

Ranger Rover: Megachurches sorta scare me.


Megachurches have nothing to do with god. Replace Jesus with a soccer ball,

www.soccerissue.com

some brown water,

www.krystalgrant.com

or a mouse

and you'll start to see the dots connect. Mega "churches" are just corporations that cater to a niche market and use the Bible as a springboard for their products and services. Back in the day, this extended as far as military wings and their own countries.

i.telegraph.co.uk

webmedia.jcu.edu

Not that this is limited to religious corporations alone.

users.polisci.wisc.edu

images1.wikia.nocookie.net


Such things, and the potential corruption they bring, are part of the human condition. We have a mighty need for them.
 
2013-06-30 04:54:32 AM

C18H27NO3: Ranger Rover: This doesn't look like "religion" to me. It looks like a brazen attempt on the part of megalomaniac leadership to fleece a believing congregation out of money

Agree 100%.


It's sad. As a believer, I react to people like this the same way that Regan MacNeil reacted to holy water.

/Seriously, same twitchings and obscenities.
//Might even throw this pastor out of a window and down a long series of steps if I find myself in the same room with him.
///God has commanded me not to kill people but we both know what I'd like to do.
 
2013-06-30 05:01:04 AM
Give the guy a break. He heard it is easier to get a Sopwith Camel through the eye of a needle than a rich man into heaven so he's going with the helicopter instead. He'll show the author of the Bible who's boss. Heck, look at the image from his advertisement; the high voltage power line towers in the background are going to be his first step on the road to flying through smaller and smaller structures until he can get his chopper through the eye of a needle. I'll toss in a few bucks to watch him fly into a huge electrical pylon.
 
2013-06-30 05:01:34 AM

Chariset: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Astounding.

He's actually saying that if you donate money to his helicopter upgrade, God will provide money for your own car repairs.

I'll admit, I really didn't believe that the health and wealth gospel was real.  But there it is.


Why doesn't God just provide him a new helicopter??

Because I think God's getting a bad deal here.  If he gets people say a $2000 car (let alone the mention of LUXURY car) in exchange for a $52 donation, well, it'd be far cheaper to just buy the helicopter blades himself.

God's having to find 38.5x the resources to give back these donors so much more than they paid out.
 
2013-06-30 05:05:21 AM
www.atomicbooks.com

Come on, give me something I can take to the bank for my $52.  The Buddy Christ bobblehead!!
 
2013-06-30 05:05:48 AM
If that helicopter has a Jesus Nut I hope it has a crisis of faith.


\tax the churches...
 
2013-06-30 05:09:28 AM

doglover: Mega "churches" are just corporations that cater to a niche market and use the Bible as a springboard for their products and services.


Yep, that's the issue that I have. I do have some friends that go to them and love them, and I keep mah damn mouth shut, because I still believe in manners. And, these friends don't seem seriously traumatized or out of touch with society, leading me to believe that megachurches are probably not bad solely on the basis that they are megachurches - would you disagree? I think many of them cross the line with inappropriate or even fraudulent behavior, but I wouldn't, at this point, go so far as to say that a church with X number of adherents is presumptively a bad thing, without any further indication of wrongdoing. But I'm not sure.
Is there a proven correlation between churches with a large number of adherents and allegations of wrongdoing or abuse of funds? I say abuse of funds rather than taxes or tax status because obviously larger organizations are more likely to be targets of such investigation, regardless of actual wrongdoing. But I could be wrong about that too.
 
2013-06-30 05:12:42 AM
"Sow your favor seed"...? Dear god that sounds rapey...
 
2013-06-30 05:15:08 AM
At least Subby didn't say "Congrads!"
 
2013-06-30 05:28:52 AM
Who made him a bishop?
 
2013-06-30 05:30:31 AM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: I'd like to replace my 17-year-old Stratus with something brand-new. Any y'all care to help me out with that?? (I mean, you do believe in me, right?) Nothing real fancy. A Ford Taurus or a Chrysler 200 would do just fine.


To hell with that. Taurus is too soccer mom, and the 200 is goofy. A true Man of God(TM) would drive a Jaaaag or a Mercedes. Of course, for the newer, hipper Man of God(TM), nothing beats a Focus ST for prophesying hoonage.

I want a Fiesta ST (hatchback with a manual transmission) myself.

/I'd push that sucker past 100mph on Highway 90
//In Louisiana
///Betwixt Houma and New Orleans
////To hell with state troopers
 
2013-06-30 05:32:08 AM

orbister: Who made him a bishop?


When you reach the eighth row you can get promoted.
 
2013-06-30 05:33:10 AM

ARedthorn: dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.

Ranger Rover: Pretty farkin' angry.

Agreed. This is not religion. It is disguised as religion, but it is abuse. It is a con job and yet another pyramid scheme.



His flock seems to believe his word, and with 5 locations there's quite a lot of them.
It's not a religion because you don't agree with it?
 
2013-06-30 05:38:49 AM

optikeye: [disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com image 450x338]
Why does God Need A Helicopter?


*gigglesnort*
 
2013-06-30 05:54:53 AM

jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive.

Word. I would pay to see Jesus biatchslap Joel Osteen.
 
2013-06-30 05:59:28 AM
I wonder what it must be like to have so little shame and empathy. People always try to make it sound like a bad thing, but this guy seems to be living a sweet life. He'd be selling off granny's kidneys if he could get away with it.

The bible does have a quote for this, from Psalms. "I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree."
 
2013-06-30 05:59:39 AM

God-is-a-Taco: ARedthorn: dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.

Ranger Rover: Pretty farkin' angry.

Agreed. This is not religion. It is disguised as religion, but it is abuse. It is a con job and yet another pyramid scheme.


His flock seems to believe his word, and with 5 locations there's quite a lot of them.
It's not a religion because you don't agree with it?


Now, I'm no one to judge not having to read a fark comment thread the whole way through. But this is one in which I think most people involved have adequately explained what they meant/didn't mean by that - and it's not what you seem to think. Control-F is a potential friend here, just to get on the same page.
 
2013-06-30 05:59:58 AM

Evil Twin Skippy: bindlestiff2600: In the words of Rush LImbaugh
you have to consider the audience

and the fact is
that a very large portion of the population
is stupid

Assume intelligence has a normal distribution, just like height, or pinky size, or every other natural attribute. Now the "normal" IQ, i.e., the top point on the curve, is defined as an IQ of 100. Now, 100 is not a very high IQ. So we are saying the average person is not very bright. 50 percent of the population is not even as bright as the average person.


i chortled
you make a good point

    i just recalled the words of Pastor Richards (vice city)
"half of the population are morons
and that's who i appeal too"
 
2013-06-30 06:10:06 AM
God the Holy Ghost is calling out to embrace you. I want you to reach deep into your hearts and your pocketbooks and take his hand.
 
2013-06-30 06:16:51 AM
 
2013-06-30 06:28:54 AM

God-is-a-Taco: ARedthorn: dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.

Ranger Rover: Pretty farkin' angry.

Agreed. This is not religion. It is disguised as religion, but it is abuse. It is a con job and yet another pyramid scheme.


His flock seems to believe his word, and with 5 locations there's quite a lot of them.
It's not a religion because you don't agree with it?


Also, the article at least seems to indicate that they don't. "Community outrage". Maybe you just don't read things good. I also think the article says 6 locations, so maybe you don't numbers good either.

/It's okay, I also don't.
 
2013-06-30 06:29:02 AM

phrawgh: God the Holy Ghost is calling out to embrace you. I want you to reach deep into your hearts and your pocketbooks and take his hand.


You're in a state of rebellion right now. You're saying...
 
2013-06-30 06:34:29 AM

God-is-a-Taco: His flock seems to believe his word, and with 5 locations there's quite a lot of them.
It's not a religion because you don't agree with it?


Uh, yeah. The Bible says a Fool and his Money are soon parted.
 
2013-06-30 06:54:24 AM
Ahh needs t' kahn-teen-yew mah ministreee t' sprey-ed t' good wurrrd o' JAY-ZUSS KEY-RAHST!!
 
2013-06-30 06:57:30 AM
Daddy needs a new pair of everythang!
 
2013-06-30 06:58:01 AM

Lordserb: Actually Paul wrote quite a bit about warning the church that there would be people that tried to subvert the church from within.


He didn't want anybody encroaching on his own gig.
 
2013-06-30 07:01:45 AM
This is sad, but not shocking, which is even sadder. Peter Popoff was completely exposed as a fraud in front of a national audience for this very same scam and still, after a brief period, came back and ran the same scam successfully for 15 years and running. It's no surprise then that this shiatstain can make such an outlandish request and there are likely people running for their checkbooks so that they too can get theirs.
 
2013-06-30 07:15:21 AM
I understand the outrage about a church spending this kind of money, and I firmly believe that this "bishop" is a shyster and a fraud.  But I need to point out that everything he does, extravagant and wasteful though it be, is done with money that is freely donated.

Compare that to the billions of dollars that are manifestly wasted every single day by our various levels of government - federal, state, and local.  That money is not voluntarily given but is confiscated through threats and coercion.  I'm not talking about the worthy government expenditures.  I'm just talking the waste.  Why is there not a similar outrage?
 
2013-06-30 07:27:22 AM

Mr. Right: I'm not talking about the worthy government expenditures.  I'm just talking the waste.  Why is there not a similar outrage?


I dunno about you but Im outraged at what you describe every day (and on 4 specific days of the year Im freaking ropable)
 
2013-06-30 07:27:46 AM

Mr. Right: I understand the outrage about a church spending this kind of money, and I firmly believe that this "bishop" is a shyster and a fraud.  But I need to point out that everything he does, extravagant and wasteful though it be, is done with money that is freely donated.

Compare that to the billions of dollars that are manifestly wasted every single day by our various levels of government - federal, state, and local.  That money is not voluntarily given but is confiscated through threats and coercion.  I'm not talking about the worthy government expenditures.  I'm just talking the waste.  Why is there not a similar outrage?


Because one is a deliberate con, the other is a natural byproduct of government spending.

Acting like government waste is some huge travesty that is unthinkably evil is profoundly stupid.
 
2013-06-30 07:33:02 AM
MurphyMurphy:
Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place
 slaves to submit to their masters.

FTFY.  Ephesians 6:5.  Let us give thanks for the word of the Lord.
 
2013-06-30 07:33:08 AM

Slartibartfaster: Mr. Right: I'm not talking about the worthy government expenditures.  I'm just talking the waste.  Why is there not a similar outrage?

I dunno about you but Im outraged at what you describe every day (and on 4 specific days of the year Im freaking ropable)


Those wouldn't be the days on which estimated taxes are due, would they?  I've often thought that if we wanted a wholesale change in government, government spending, tax policy, etc. we need to eliminate withholding and force every taxpayer to sit down 4 times a year and write out a check.
 
2013-06-30 07:36:57 AM

violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Ok, I'm reading this (and maybe my dyslexia is in MASSIVE overdrive, but it was REALLY difficult to read - whoever wrote that never made it past 2nd grade English) and I'm not seeing anything about a promise that you would get a vehicle in 52 days or 52 weeks, as the writer in the link implied.  All it says is that you will experience breakthrough favor, which is NOT a vehicle.

Not to say that Pastor isn't an a-hole, and if he's running 6 megachurches it should have been no issue for him to say "Hey, we have this chopper, it gets me from church to church (even though I seriously doubt that's all he's using it for), it needs new blades and would the membership please help?"  But don't state something that just isn't there.  It says nothing about the donator getting their dream vehicle.

But again, that thing is REALLY difficult to read (who the hell wrote that?!), so maybe I missed it while scratching my head, rubbing my eyes and wondering how many chimps with typewriters to took to hammer out that mess.
 
2013-06-30 07:40:28 AM

LavenderWolf: Because one is a deliberate con, the other is a natural byproduct of government spending.

Acting like government waste is some huge travesty that is unthinkably evil is profoundly stupid.


If you actually believe that, your statement rises to whole new levels of insanity.  There is deliberate, massive waste and fraud perpetrated every single day with money that is taken by force and that is not a travesty?

The difference between what this bishop did and what the government does every day is the difference between a young woman being seduced by a clever cad and being gang-raped by the football team.
 
2013-06-30 07:40:30 AM
So why isn't everyone emailing n­l­c­co­mments[nospam-﹫-backwards]thgi­l­we­n­*o­rg  and asking why God needs a helicopter?
 
2013-06-30 07:41:15 AM

Mr. Right: LavenderWolf: Because one is a deliberate con, the other is a natural byproduct of government spending.

Acting like government waste is some huge travesty that is unthinkably evil is profoundly stupid.

If you actually believe that, your statement rises to whole new levels of insanity.  There is deliberate, massive waste and fraud perpetrated every single day with money that is taken by force and that is not a travesty?

The difference between what this bishop did and what the government does every day is the difference between a young woman being seduced by a clever cad and being gang-raped by the football team.


The sad and paranoid are out in force today.
 
2013-06-30 07:45:15 AM
Lando looks like shiat.
 
2013-06-30 07:55:48 AM
I have a counter proposal. He buys me a $50,000 dollar vehicle and God will fix his helicopter for him
 
2013-06-30 07:56:54 AM

2wolves: A rotary winged sty.

I hope he gets some Dr House level disease that makes him totally incontinent with constant flatulence topped off with chronic diarrhea.


Don't you think the politics tab ALREADY has enough people like that?
 
2013-06-30 07:59:03 AM
how can you be outraged about government spending when there are starving children in the world?

how can you care about starving children when the planet's climate is changing before our very addled eyes?

how can you care about climate change when there are human trafficking and slavery rings *right now* selling human beings for less than a chopper blade replacement payment?

how can you care about human trafficking when THE REVERSE VAMPIRES RULE THE WORLD?

and really, how the fark can you care about reverse vampires when things like forced, strained comparisons can derail anything in the world you could possibly care about?
 
2013-06-30 08:00:40 AM

Lost_in_Korea: So why isn't everyone emailing nlccomments[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]thgilwen[* image 7x13]org  and asking why God needs a helicopter?


mostly because i'm already on enough mailing lists full of crazy.

mostly.
 
2013-06-30 08:01:01 AM
So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.
 
2013-06-30 08:02:34 AM

Hobodeluxe: I have a counter proposal. He buys me a $50,000 dollar vehicle and God will fix his helicopter for him


ALL HAIL TEH LEADER!

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-06-30 08:02:56 AM
FFS.
 
2013-06-30 08:09:34 AM
i1364.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-30 08:10:04 AM

wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.


I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ
 
2013-06-30 08:16:17 AM

AnyName: wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.

I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ


That was awesome.
/bookmarked
 
2013-06-30 08:25:41 AM
God told me he can now fly without copter. Go to nearest tall building.
 
2013-06-30 08:27:26 AM
Idiots spending money like that when they can have real hope and change and donate it to Obama.
 
2013-06-30 08:35:25 AM
Next up for Bishop I. V. Hilliard:  Ask the members of his congregation to make a significant donation towards the purchase of a Gulfstream G650 because, as Jesus stated so strongly in his sermons, "The representatives of my Father's church should not be saddled with the evil and earthly torment of Satan's frequent-flyer b*tch miles."
 
2013-06-30 08:41:11 AM

AnyName: wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.

I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ


Evacuate? Now, in our time of triumph? No, we shall show them the power of this FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL Megachurch!

images.mackanzoor.com
 
2013-06-30 08:41:34 AM
Bishop I. V. Hilliard of the New Light Christian Church.
It's aptly named, anyway. It's not just Christianity, it's the all new and improved Christianity light.
 
2013-06-30 08:43:45 AM

Mr. Right: I understand the outrage about a church spending this kind of money, and I firmly believe that this "bishop" is a shyster and a fraud.  But I need to point out that everything he does, extravagant and wasteful though it be, is done with money that is freely donated.

Compare that to the billions of dollars that are manifestly wasted every single day by our various levels of government - federal, state, and local.  That money is not voluntarily given but is confiscated through threats and coercion.  I'm not talking about the worthy government expenditures.  I'm just talking the waste.  Why is there not a similar outrage?


"Freely donated?" Are you unaware what happens in churches?

Catholics: Tithe because God says so!
Methodists: You're responsible for keeping this church going!
Megachurches: God (OK, me) is telling you to empty your pocketbooks to keep his word going. Otherwise...you're going to hell! And don't worry about my closets of expensive suits and lavish house and cars...all paid for by your collection plates...that's just God being good to me...or something.
Jews: (They'll guilt you into giving your last nickel. Kol Nidre and all that.)
Mormons: See "Catholics"

It's all a racket.
 
2013-06-30 08:45:27 AM
Even the mob is more honest about what they do
 
2013-06-30 08:45:58 AM

A_Listless_Wanderer: Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect


This day will live in infirmary
 
2013-06-30 08:50:23 AM

Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.


If we ever sink back to 16th cent. -type religious wars here in the West ( Protestant vs. Catholic), I'm siding with the Catholics. This "Prosperity Gospel" heresy is something I'd be OK with being stomped out of existence....
 
2013-06-30 08:51:12 AM

Dumski: AnyName: wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.

I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ

That was awesome.
/bookmarked


i'm farking crying over here
 
2013-06-30 08:51:29 AM

HotWingAgenda: Hilliard allegedly responded to Isiah Carey of Fox stating: "New Light Church World Outreach and Worship Centers, Inc. regularly make appeals

I want to laugh, but I get the feeling that's not a joke.


To be fair, most tax-exempt nonprofits are incorporated.  If you go to the county records or local equivalent, you'll see plenty of listings for something like "The Parish and Vestry of St. So-and-so, Inc.".
 
2013-06-30 08:51:39 AM
Hey, Rev.  If I sow a favor seed, do I get prayer oil and a prayer towel?  Can I anoint myself at the freedom rally?  Do you sleep upside down, hanging in a cave?
 
2013-06-30 08:54:34 AM

Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.


Holy crap, this. It's always been about class warfare. All the debate you see about the "Liberals vs the Conservatives", the "Republicans vs the Democrats" or the Romulans vs the Federation is just a bunch of useless jerking off. It's about the 1% vs everybody else. It's about the clueful vs the clueless.

As George Carlin pointed out:
"That is the way the ruling class operates in any society. They try to divide the rest of the people. They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other, so that they, the rich, can run off with all the farking money."
 
2013-06-30 08:55:34 AM

Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.


I picture Christ coming back with a flamethrower for these guys.  Tipping over the tables just didn't sink in.
 
2013-06-30 08:55:50 AM

Forbidden Doughnut: Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.

If we ever sink back to 16th cent. -type religious wars here in the West ( Protestant vs. Catholic), I'm siding with the Catholics. This "Prosperity Gospel" heresy is something I'd be OK with being stomped out of existence....


Umm...you do know why the Reformation happened, right? One big thing was selling "indulgences" so that your dead relatives could escape the torments of hell they otherwise deserved. Or you could bankroll your own cushy postlife in advance.

Not much difference.
 
2013-06-30 08:56:19 AM

NutWrench: Holy crap, this. It's always been about class warfare. All the debate you see about the "Liberals vs the Conservatives", the "Republicans vs the Democrats" or the Romulans vs the Federation is just a bunch of useless jerking off. It's about the 1% vs everybody else. It's about the clueful vs the clueless.


i1198.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-30 08:59:57 AM
Note: Every Evangelical Protestant Preacher who calls himself a Bishop is a con-artist and a fraud.

/What do you want to bet 99% of Mega-Church members make fun of Catholics for "Following" the Pope.
 
2013-06-30 09:00:36 AM
Christianity in this country has been subverted.  It isn't a religion anymore so much as it is a fundraising group for a political party.  If it WERE a religion, then the adherents would actually follow the basic tenants.  But they don't.

For one example, bearing false witness against your neighbor is a no-no.  But look at the creationists and the climate change deniers.  No problems lying through their teeth.  For another example, the anti-abortion folks who say it's for religious reasons, yet their own holy book, specifically Numbers 5, not only doesn't endorses abortion, but in that passage details how it can be done in an acceptable manner by a priest in a church.

Every time I run into a fundie Christian, I can't help but roll my eyes.  It's too damned interesting a world to invent a fantasy one to replace it.

/fundie family, deals with it all the freaking time
 
2013-06-30 09:04:53 AM

maram500: "Freely donated?" Are you unaware what happens in churches?


And yet, there is no mandate that you join any of those churches.

maram500: It's all a racket.


Never said it wasn't.  It's a matter of choice vs. no choice.
 
2013-06-30 09:05:08 AM
We should flash-mob his megachurch, each one of us wearing a Mark 10:21 T-shirt.

The basic problem with this world is that there are people who, having read his appeal, will donate.
That problem can only be termed "stupidity."
 
2013-06-30 09:05:37 AM

Cpl.D: Christianity in this country has been subverted.  It isn't a religion anymore so much as it is a fundraising group for a political party.  If it WERE a religion, then the adherents would actually follow the basic tenants.  But they don't.

For one example, bearing false witness against your neighbor is a no-no.  But look at the creationists and the climate change deniers.  No problems lying through their teeth.  For another example, the anti-abortion folks who say it's for religious reasons, yet their own holy book, specifically Numbers 5, not only doesn't endorses abortion, but in that passage details how it can be done in an acceptable manner by a priest in a church.

Every time I run into a fundie Christian, I can't help but roll my eyes.  It's too damned interesting a world to invent a fantasy one to replace it.

/fundie family, deals with it all the freaking time


Remember, when preachers were paid so little the Church provided their house, usually right next to the church?  I do I also remember having a Church meeting over a new carpet request for the house.
 
2013-06-30 09:06:18 AM

MurphyMurphy: Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid

No, people made religion stupid.

There are very valid underlying philosophies that are worth examining in each of the popular religions. The mumbo-jumbo is easily separated from this (as it should be)

Stupid people using it as an escape from reality have just polluted what should otherwise be a noble and though-provoking exploration of ourselves, each other and all the things and reasons in this world we don't yet understand. This is nothing new, it's a timeless tradition.

Intelligent and honest people don't need to dismiss religion, they need to make it their own. It's not like the morons that believe angels are following them to work have any clue what it is they're doing anyways. 90% of the self professed Christians in this nation simply CAN NOT reconcile the cornerstones of their religions with their own lives and beliefs. (If we could, we wouldn't all be fat, greedy war-mongers.)
 We stomp on religion today. But it's not that deserving of it, it's the people that use it for their own selfish ends that need to be drug into the street and boo'd.

/Such as the db in tfa.

Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.


If he was a revolutionary *man* then there isn't much to separate him from Gandhi or Martin Luther King, is there?

Although there is approximately zero contemporary evidence of a historical Jesus, even if he did exist, it is precisely all of the mystical mumbo-jumbo that makes him different from thousands, if not millions of other intelligent and revolutionary men, is it not?
 
2013-06-30 09:07:05 AM
The true Mormon Church "The Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints" does not use money to pay any of the Priesthood. None NONE of the priesthood receive any money for working in the church.
 
2013-06-30 09:08:34 AM
Send me money
Send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution and you'll get a better seat
Bow to leper messiah
 
2013-06-30 09:09:47 AM
"habbeduh woob floopity, hemmeh umma wooma, hepta JEEEYUHZUSS, money money, hobbity hoo!"  and I've been trading my skills for bread and a roof.  Silly me.
 
2013-06-30 09:10:54 AM

boyd1031: The true Mormon Church "The Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints" does not use money to pay any of the Priesthood. None NONE of the priesthood receive any money for working in the church.


it all goes to keeping thier choppers running
 
2013-06-30 09:11:22 AM
ITT: Xtians biatching that people use the actions of Xtians to characterize the actions of Xtians. Don't those folks have a book that sayeth: "By their deeds, ye shall know them"?
 
2013-06-30 09:19:21 AM

violentsalvation:


The best part is his picture with that shiat eatin grin. Also his helicopter is flying underneath the power lines. That is dangerous.
 
2013-06-30 09:22:35 AM
Saying you can give god's "favor" to people in exchange for money... that just seems evil and by my ridiculously lax standards blasphemous. How the fark can people get sucked into this type of thing to the point that megachurches can own farking helicopters?
 
2013-06-30 09:24:52 AM
When at last, you see the light,
God's gonna buy you a satellite!

/Obscurish?
 
2013-06-30 09:26:35 AM

wraithmare: Grew up watching TBN. The Crouchs have been selling prosperity gospel for years.  If you can afford to give your dog its own mansion, I guess prosperity is working for someone.

/Took college and a few years to undo the damage those people did to my psyche.


*raises hand*  Put me in that boat.  Grew up with a massively fundamentalist father.  Took college to deprogram me from that.
 
2013-06-30 09:28:20 AM

Carousel Beast: When at last, you see the light,
God's gonna buy you a satellite!

/Obscurish?


About as obscure on FARK as:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My Friends all drive Porsches I must make amends
 
2013-06-30 09:32:17 AM
We invented money to help serve us in a way that was agreeable and equitable.  Everybody agreed it had value, so you could exchange it for a chicken dinner and a roof.  Now it's our latest issue, prefab tin god.  If it all burns to ashes tomorrow, I don't know if we'd be worse off than we are prostrate before it, licking it's ass and praying for it to fall in our laps.  We do, believe and condone some of the most egregious sh*t imaginable for these drab, numerically festooned IOUs.
 
2013-06-30 09:35:20 AM

Bloody William: Saying you can give god's "favor" to people in exchange for money... that just seems evil and by my ridiculously lax standards blasphemous. How the fark can people get sucked into this type of thing to the point that megachurches can own farking helicopters?


Simple.  They tailor their approach to attract the sort of people who don't question that sort of thing.  It's the same reason the Republicans, and decades ago, the Democrats, pander to them.  It's an easy voting block who will check the appropriate box if you say the right magic words on television.

Pavlov might have stopped long ago, but the bell is still reverberating.
 
2013-06-30 09:36:16 AM

boyd1031: The true Mormon Church "The Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints" does not use money to pay any of the Priesthood. None NONE of the priesthood receive any money for working in the church.


Instead it goes towards political misinformation campaigns designed to deprive other humans of their legal rights. Until the SCOTUS finally knocks that shiat down.


Yeah, totally better.
 
2013-06-30 09:38:17 AM

Cpl.D: Bloody William: Saying you can give god's "favor" to people in exchange for money... that just seems evil and by my ridiculously lax standards blasphemous. How the fark can people get sucked into this type of thing to the point that megachurches can own farking helicopters?

Simple.  They tailor their approach to attract the sort of people who don't question that sort of thing.  It's the same reason the Republicans, and decades ago, the Democrats, pander to them.  It's an easy voting block who will check the appropriate box if you say the right magic words on television.

Pavlov might have stopped long ago, but the bell is still reverberating.


Any supposed prophets or variants thereof are evil. Just evil. Or genuinely insane and committing evil acts through that madness.

I understand the need for meaning, but I can't really understand the ability to accept that another fallible human being can understand and pass on directions from a supposedly perfect source.
 
2013-06-30 09:38:47 AM
Pttth.. Any old cult can get you a helicopter..

But only with the one true way can you get a helicopter AND a robot hand.

Learn more about spacestar ordering!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38hiqW2E88A

And get a robot hand!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/wvpcsDQ-Jtw
 
2013-06-30 09:38:55 AM

Tom_Slick: Carousel Beast: When at last, you see the light,
God's gonna buy you a satellite!

/Obscurish?

About as obscure on FARK as:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My Friends all drive Porsches I must make amends


Awesome band, great song.   And apt.
 
2013-06-30 09:40:07 AM
What an asshole.
 
2013-06-30 09:42:08 AM

NecoConeco: Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?



http://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=76ohvqwsNkk
 
2013-06-30 09:42:21 AM

MurphyMurphy: Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find.


Most unfortunately, those are the types who have wormed and wheedled their way into various positions of power and attempt to remake the USA in their vision of propriety.

As long as Christians let the kooks run the faith, people will view Christians as kooks.
 
2013-06-30 09:45:08 AM
So they bought a helicopter and now think replacing the blades is over the line?  That is the height of stupidity and irresponsibility.
 
2013-06-30 09:52:21 AM
If bishops I, II, and III Hilliard could get away with it, why not him too?
 
2013-06-30 09:55:58 AM

bamph: wraithmare: Grew up watching TBN. The Crouchs have been selling prosperity gospel for years.  If you can afford to give your dog its own mansion, I guess prosperity is working for someone.

/Took college and a few years to undo the damage those people did to my psyche.

*raises hand*  Put me in that boat.  Grew up with a massively fundamentalist father.  Took college to deprogram me from that.


Proof that college is left-wing braiwashing tool!!1!
 
2013-06-30 10:01:02 AM

Igor Jakovsky: Also his helicopter is flying underneath the power lines. That is dangerous.


That's just the modern version of handling snakes.
 
2013-06-30 10:01:18 AM
MurphyMurphy: ...the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.

"My God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus' final words in the gospel, it sure does not sound like things went according to his plan. It makes me think that perhaps men like this megachurch (if that is not a scary word I don't know what is) pastor are the closest thing to a modern-day Jesus. Delude yourself into believing you are something you are not, use that delusion and your force of character to persuade others into believing in you. I'd say this pastor is a true man of god.

There is simply no way to distill the philosophy from the spiritual gobbledygook. They two are symbiotic structures when it comes to religion because the implication, stated or otherwise, is that one is supposed to be a good person in order to go to heaven and/or avoid god's wrath. That is not a philosophy of what ought to be done, it is one of "do this or else". I like to think that such concepts are vestigial and one day we will shrug them off.
 
2013-06-30 10:05:03 AM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.


I know God hates figs, but what does God have against TREES?
 
2013-06-30 10:06:43 AM

optikeye: Why does God Need A Helicopter?


Haha! Perfect!!!
 
2013-06-30 10:10:57 AM
http://www.airliners.net/photo/Star-Triple-Seven/Boeing-747SP-31/1881 1 42/M/&sid=1b3b9e6d3916712b6002f5a4719c4246

I'm at work so I can't get the picture linked.  Silly IT guys and their right-click disablin'.

Anyway, a helicopter is nothing.  This Boeing 747-SP belongs to Ernest Angley Ministries in Akron.  It sits at Akron-Canton Regional all day and is, for some reason, registered in Aruba.

$50k wouldn't even buy a set of tires for this thing.
 
2013-06-30 10:16:51 AM

violentsalvation: Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?

as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.



Wait - this guy created his own domain for this specific PR response?

Find out why this is a stupid idea at:

www.WaitthisguycreatedhisowndomainforthisspecificPRresponse.com
 
2013-06-30 10:18:43 AM
I'm astonished to see DAILY KOS attacking a black churchman. Isn't that racist?
 
2013-06-30 10:29:13 AM
Kinda hard to feel bad for anyone dumb enough to send this guy money.
 
2013-06-30 10:29:54 AM

Bucky Katt: Even con artists have expenses.


Al Gore's rocket chair!
 
2013-06-30 10:30:16 AM
Alright, all these congregants, get out. Out of the gene pool. Out.
 
2013-06-30 10:33:09 AM
Anybody else sickened by this pastor's lying Cheshire cat grin? Complete scumbag huckster on the order of Robert Tilton.
 
2013-06-30 10:33:15 AM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.


If it was a white baptist church it would be a straight republican vote. All blacks vote democratic, duh!
 
2013-06-30 10:34:20 AM

oryx: Isn't that racist?


Why is it so difficult for conservatives to understand what racism is?
 
2013-06-30 10:34:52 AM
I worked for a nonprofit for awhile that put computer labs in underfunded schools, community centers, and churches that were used for things like teaching the elderly how to use the internet, after school programs, job skill courses, etc. We got a call from a newly formed church that had heard about us and wanted computers.

As usual we toured their location to assess what they would need and how much. The tour ended in the pastor's office. Prior to that job I worked in a place that made all sorts of expensive custom woodwork and I estimate that guy's office had about $40k worth of newly finished work in it, maybe more. He had a 200+ gallon (I also used to keep fish) saltwater tank which was not cheap to setup or maintain.

He then presented us with a list that his IT guy had made up of the computer that they wanted, all brand new high end systems at the time. We took donated computers from businesses and a nearby university. Our labs were old equipment, usually 4-16 machines depending on the space. This church wanted $40,000 worth of free computers for the lord. We couldn't help them.
 
2013-06-30 10:35:47 AM
Matt. 21:12  "Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves insufferably ridiculous things like indulgences, promises of cars and wealth and tickets to heaven."
 
2013-06-30 10:36:33 AM

bunner: "habbeduh woob floopity, hemmeh umma wooma, hepta JEEEYUHZUSS, money money, hobbity hoo!"


I couldn't resist reading that aloud.
 
2013-06-30 10:38:24 AM

psychosis_inducing: bunner: "habbeduh woob floopity, hemmeh umma wooma, hepta JEEEYUHZUSS, money money, hobbity hoo!"

I couldn't resist reading that aloud.


And I bet his bishopness could recite it verbatim and get a new Maybach out of it.
 
2013-06-30 10:43:20 AM
More righteous the sinner seeking redemption than the pious hypocrite, assured that they own it.
 
2013-06-30 10:49:35 AM
Disgusting.
 
2013-06-30 11:12:46 AM

violentsalvation: Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?

as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.

In that link there was some rambling and references to the bible. The "amplified bible." WTF is the "Amplified Bible?"
 
2013-06-30 11:16:22 AM
Honestly?  Anyone in this "church" is already a farking moron.  At this point I encourage them to give all their savings to this charlatan.  Hell, take out a payday loan so you can give the guy more quickly!

Idiots.

I wonder if these megachurch scam artists ever have bets with their counterparts to see how blatantly they can rip people off and have them happy about it.  What's next, asking for special round of donations for new tires for his McLaren?
 
2013-06-30 11:29:41 AM

dr_blasto: WTF is the "Amplified Bible?"


Our Bibles go up to 11.
 
2013-06-30 11:30:15 AM

Bucky Katt: Even con artists have expenses.


And Christian RWers wonder why Americans spit in their general direction...
 
2013-06-30 11:30:46 AM

Ultraviolet Catastrophe: MurphyMurphy:
Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place  slaves to submit to their masters.

FTFY.  Ephesians 6:5.  Let us give thanks for the word of the Lord.


Actually, you're making the same mistake here as the conman- using text out of context. The book of Ephesians may say that- word for word- but continues to order masters to treat their slaves not as slaves, but as brothers and equals... all the while, another book written by Paul (Philemon) re: a runaway slave establishes that because slavery is the law of the land, the slave must return to his master... but again orders the owner to treat him as a brother, not a slave... and urges the owner to "do what is right," but must do so of his "own free will"... implying that he should free the man. At which point, said slave owner, also a Christian, frees the man.

So indeed. Let us give thanks.

Several people, in several places, have mentioned that the Bible can't and shouldn't be relied on to provide simple answers to complex moral problems... I agree. Anyone who orders their morality or beliefs off the value-menu, so to speak, has done themselves and the rest of the world a great disservice...
But as demonstrated above, the Bible and Christianity- approached in a wider context of both multiple passages (and of course history, ethics, phil, sci, etc, whenever even remotely applicable)- doesn't preach anything even vaguely simple of a solution to ANYTHING.
Paul clearly believed slavery was wrong, but because it was the law of the land, the runaway slave needed to return and submit (not exactly simple, there)... and the owner needed to either treat him far better than a slave- hell, better than any standard we hold corporations to today, let's be honest- or free him altogether.

Doglover - on the money.

God-is-a-Taco -
His flock seems to believe his word, and with 5 locations there's quite a lot of them.
It's not a religion because you don't agree with it?


Has nothing to do with agreeing. I've studied every religion I could find on the planet- though I would hardly call myself an expert. Most, if not all, have my respect, if not my faith. I came back around to Christianity because I decided it fit my ideals best (though, admittedly, a variation that's fallen somewhat out of popularity in the US... you know, where I follow the teachings of Christ, not the Pharisees).

Followers do not make a religion. Locations do not make a religion. By your logic, Microsoft or Apple are probably a more popular religions than Christianity or Islam.
From Merriam-Webster:

Religion (noun) -
1 a : the state of a religious person, particularly a nun or priest, etc
   b : the service and worship of God or the supernatural
   c : commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance
2 : a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices
3 : scrupulous conformity (as in Conscientiousness - out of common usage)
4 : a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith.
So... our Bishop here has perverted nearly every definition above. Even if you buy his BS about needing a helicopter to spread God's word (when the funds could do that far far better in dozens of more important ways)... he's telling his followers to give him the money not because it serves God, but because it serves them- they'll get something they need out of it- a reward. Religion in definition 1 is about service to something higher than self... and I don't buy his BS. He's turned the church to his own service.

I suppose you could dub it a religion based on #2 or #4... but then, you'd have to paint atheism with the same brush.
And it certainly isn't Christianity, in any case. It is a perversion of Christianity, used for self-gratification and general abuse.
 
Cpl.D - Re: Fundamentalists... so much. Oh so much.

The worst part is, modern Christians could benefit SOOO much from studying their own history... so many of the problems with fundamentalism... the relationship between the church and modern world... all of it... would never have formed if the church in the US hadn't decided decades ago to run (not walk) away from it's own history or tradition in favor of extra-extra-big helpings of fervor, with a side of zealotry.
As AN example: The church pretty much world-wide came out 'on the fence' about evolution when it was first controversial in scientific circles... and eventually came out in favor of it so long as it wasn't used to undermine church teachings on the spiritual nature of the world.
As AN example: There really hasn't been a new argument against the existence of God/god/gods since 2000 BCE... do you really think in all that time, not one theologian or philosopher ever tackled those arguments and came up with any well-grounded responses? Yet... theologians and seminarians aside, I've yet to meet a single modern Christian who's even aware of the fact, much less familiar with them.
As AN example: Used to be that when a church went rogue or started screwing up like this- someone would farking nail a list of what was wrong with them to their door and then go to work on getting it fixed... but these days, it's the rogue churches who do all the talking- who claim that (true) traditionalists and reformationists have gone soft, and zealous hardline mentalities are the only way. I mean... come on! Seriously! If someone doesn't beat me to it, I'll take a road trip to Westboro and go Martin Luther on their door on my next day off if that's what it takes! Why hasn't anyone else done this? It's supposed to be our responsibility to police our own, or disown them.

Here's me, disowning them. They're not Christians... they're a Christian cult- an offshoot and perversion.

Study pointing out that the majority of modern Christians (by sample group) have abandoned the teachings of Christ completely... in favor of, of all things, the group of people he fought with most often and who ultimately got him killed:
https://www.barna.org/barna-update/faith-spirituality/611-christians -m ore-like-jesus-or-pharisees
If that doesn't qualify them as a cult/off-shoot perversion... I dunno what does.
 
2013-06-30 11:34:10 AM

Lordserb: Of course, the Devil continuously quoting and fulfilling scripture would nullify that entire argument...


Uh, really?  'Cause that's exactly what the Devil would do.  Or didn't you read it?
 
2013-06-30 11:34:49 AM
When I die, I hope I come back as a televangelist.  Big money, hot girls, helicopters!  Better hair than Trump.

Please, oh please, Flying Spaghetti Monster, reincarnate me as a psychopathic televangelist...
 
2013-06-30 11:36:43 AM

oryx: I'm astonished to see DAILY KOS attacking a black churchman. Isn't that racist?


They're an equal opportunity BS sniffer.
 
2013-06-30 11:52:25 AM

propasaurus: Brothers and Sisters! Billy Dee Williams needs a new helicopter!


Well, he did lose the Falcon.
 
2013-06-30 11:54:14 AM
These people vote.

There is no hope for us.
 
2013-06-30 11:55:34 AM
Hey they are just sticking to the same religious schtick. Just to the extreme.

You can promise everything, then deliver nothing, and if the product is defective... blame the customer.

That's how organized religion works. (Much of it anyway... these prosperity guys especially.) It would also be illegal in the real world.

"Hah...glory! You did not sow your prosperity seed in fertile ground... therefore you get nothing... I said good day sir."

"However if you contribute $1000 this time... it'll work! I promise! (That I'll build a hot tub in the guest house.)"

I am an atheist. I am not against those who genuinely have faith. I understand those who genuinely seek answers, and sometimes that's not easy. People like this "bishop" genuinely need jail time. But I realize the government can't, or shouldn't, intervene any more than religion should intervene in the government. All I can say to the faithful is find the smallest, most humble church with a message that appeals to you. You are likely to find a congregation that you'll come to know by their first names... you'll come to know and love them, and vice versa. If you believe in god, he is there also, not just in a baptidome that demands money for favors from god. You are a sucker if you keep giving to a person like this. Your money isn't going to doing "god's work" it is going to a man. And you will never see it again.

Matthew 18:20:For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

/grew up catholic... even the devil can quote scripture. Heh.
 
2013-06-30 11:59:34 AM

TheLopper: propasaurus: Brothers and Sisters! Billy Dee Williams needs a new helicopter!

Well, he did lose the Falcon.


"Dolt 45, it works  every time."
 
2013-06-30 12:02:13 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-30 12:21:27 PM
irom.files.wordpress.com

And if these words you do not heed, your pocket book just kinda might recede
When some man comes along and claims a godly need
He will clean you out right through your tweed
That's right, you asked for it, remember there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over
He's got twenty million dollars in his Heavenly Bank Account
All from those chumps who was born again, oh yeah, oh yeah
He's got seven limousines and a private plane helicopter
All for the use of his special friends, oh yeah, oh yeah
He's got thousand-dollar suits and a Wembley Tie
Girls love to stroke it while he's on the phone, oh yeah, oh yeah

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/f/frank_zappa/
 
2013-06-30 01:03:43 PM
Pastor John: I want you to show right now how much you love God! I want you to show as your tithe! I want you to open up your hearts! And open up your wallets! And open up your purses! And give it up! Praise the Lord! Somebody's been talking about me, talking about I've been riding around in a Cadillac! If you love me, and you wanna give to me, then I should be in a Rolls Royce!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092563/quotes#qt0245720
 
2013-06-30 02:12:43 PM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: TheLopper: propasaurus: Brothers and Sisters! Billy Dee Williams needs a new helicopter!

Well, he did lose the Falcon.

"Dolt 45, it works  every time."


I'd feel happier donating to Billy Dee Williams' helicopter fund than this farksquid's.
 
2013-06-30 02:40:04 PM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.


The surrounding houses. Are they like...servants' quarters or something?
 
2013-06-30 03:09:07 PM
Wake up, you farking sheep! They are all fleecing you. They have aleays been fleecing you. They will always fleece you.
 
2013-06-30 03:17:20 PM

MurphyMurphy: Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid

No, people made religion stupid.

There are very valid underlying philosophies that are worth examining in each of the popular religions. The mumbo-jumbo is easily separated from this (as it should be)

Stupid people using it as an escape from reality have just polluted what should otherwise be a noble and though-provoking exploration of ourselves, each other and all the things and reasons in this world we don't yet understand. This is nothing new, it's a timeless tradition.

Intelligent and honest people don't need to dismiss religion, they need to make it their own. It's not like the morons that believe angels are following them to work have any clue what it is they're doing anyways. 90% of the self professed Christians in this nation simply CAN NOT reconcile the cornerstones of their religions with their own lives and beliefs. (If we could, we wouldn't all be fat, greedy war-mongers.)
 We stomp on religion today. But it's not that deserving of it, it's the people that use it for their own selfish ends that need to be drug into the street and boo'd.

/Such as the db in tfa.

Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAa

gasp gasp

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  cough cough gasp
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

weeezz gasp  oh  ooooohhhh whoooooo wheeeeeww.

Thank you. That was just about the funniest thing I've read today.
 
2013-06-30 03:34:34 PM

jigger: The surrounding houses. Are they like...servants' quarters or something?


Maybe a few..  Plus a few guest houses?  One looks like some sort of club house maybe, on the left.
 
2013-06-30 04:40:28 PM

A_Listless_Wanderer: danielscissorhands: Is "congratulations" (instead of congregation) in the headline a typo by a drunk-mitter, or is this a reference to something else?

Thank you.

It was a typo. Yes, I was drunk.

/still am


Thanks. :-)   Well I congregate you on the greenlit submission!
 
2013-06-30 04:41:13 PM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.


He's black. Because he's black, he doesn't fit the FarkLibtard definition of White Cracker Right Wing Fundamentalistic Tea-bagger. Therefore, anything he says is true.

All you FarkLibbies need to send him $52, so you can get that Prius you've been dreaming about.
 
2013-06-30 05:18:22 PM
Ah, the prosperity gospel.

The fraction of christianity that seems to ignore that the only people in the Bible that jesus ever, ever got angry at were people utilizing religion to make a profit.

For perspective, he didn't even get angry at <i> SATAN </i> when satan tried to tempt him in the desert (according to the bible). But the moneychangers in the temple? He farking flipped.

And then, there's, you know, Matthew 6:24.
""No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. "
 
2013-06-30 05:20:45 PM
stan
 
2013-06-30 05:22:55 PM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.


join the productivity gospel with Microsoft Bob

t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-30 05:36:26 PM

maram500: Mr. Right: I understand the outrage about a church spending this kind of money, and I firmly believe that this "bishop" is a shyster and a fraud.  But I need to point out that everything he does, extravagant and wasteful though it be, is done with money that is freely donated.

Compare that to the billions of dollars that are manifestly wasted every single day by our various levels of government - federal, state, and local.  That money is not voluntarily given but is confiscated through threats and coercion.  I'm not talking about the worthy government expenditures.  I'm just talking the waste.  Why is there not a similar outrage?

"Freely donated?" Are you unaware what happens in churches?

Catholics: Tithe because God says so!
Methodists: You're responsible for keeping this church going!
Megachurches: God (OK, me) is telling you to empty your pocketbooks to keep his word going. Otherwise...you're going to hell! And don't worry about my closets of expensive suits and lavish house and cars...all paid for by your collection plates...that's just God being good to me...or something.
Jews: (They'll guilt you into giving your last nickel. Kol Nidre and all that.)
Mormons: See "Catholics"

It's all a racket.


Um ... no. The Mormons have a formal process where one has a sit-down with the bishop and makes a declaration of one's income and giving. (Disclaimer: Most of what I know about the LDS approach to tithing came up last year during the discussion over Rmoney's tax returns.)

OTOH, the Catholic church has no such process whatsoever. A column I read about a month ago (in the newspaper published by my archdiocese) explained that for us mackerel snappers, the general recommendation is 5% to one's parish, and another 5% to other charities.

So I toss $5 in the collection envelope if I'm not at Mass, and $20 on the rare occasions when I attend. For every buck the Church gets, I try to give $2 to the Human Rights Campaign, the ACLU, the SPLC or anything that supports what I consider to be the fundamental rights with which we are born. Fr. Tony is just glad to get a few hundred from me over the course of a year, and he wouldn't dare ask where the rest of my money goes.

This is how it should work. YMMV.
 
2013-06-30 06:43:09 PM
userserve-ak.last.fm

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay tribute unto the Lord
And money unto me
 
2013-06-30 07:08:46 PM

thisdaydreamer: Congregations on writing what will surely be the headline of the week, subby.


Thank you! And thanks for the TF! ;-)
 
2013-06-30 07:26:54 PM

LibertyHiller: Um ... no. The Mormons have a formal process where one has a sit-down with the bishop and makes a declaration of one's income and giving. (Disclaimer: Most of what I know about the LDS approach to tithing came up last year during the discussion over Rmoney's tax returns.)

OTOH, the Catholic church has no such process whatsoever. A column I read about a month ago (in the newspaper published by my archdiocese) explained that for us mackerel snappers, the general recommendation is 5% to one's parish, and another 5% to other charities.

So I toss $5 in the collection envelope if I'm not at Mass, and $20 on the rare occasions when I attend. For every buck the Church gets, I try to give $2 to the Human Rights Campaign, the ACLU, the SPLC or anything that supports what I consider to be the fundamental rights with which we are born. Fr. Tony is just glad to get a few hundred from me over the course of a year, and he wouldn't dare ask where the rest of my money goes.


Hell, it's not unknown for the Mormon church to contact the employer to check on an employees pay or for their members to ask for documents to be sent to the church.
 
2013-06-30 07:38:48 PM

ARedthorn: I came back around to Christianity because I decided it fit my ideals best


It doesn't work like that. You don't decide what you think is right and then choose a religion which fits; you choose a religion you think is true and then adopt the beliefs it dictates, even if that means changing your mind about some things. If Christianity is true, Islam, Buddhism, Shinto and Scientology are wrong. There's no room for different religions to be right for different people based on their preconceptions.

I would have a lot more respect for anti-gay christians if at least some of them said "You know, I really fancy some hot, sweaty, man-on-man action ... but the Bible says no, so that's that", just as I would have more respect for creationists if they said "Hey, yes, all the scientific evidence points to the earth being 6 billion years old and life having evolved, but the Bible says different and I have to believe the Bible."

TL;DR: Pretending religion makes sense doesn't make sense.
 
2013-06-30 07:59:27 PM

Tumunga: He's black. Because he's black, he doesn't fit the FarkLibtard definition of White Cracker Right Wing Fundamentalistic Tea-bagger. Therefore, anything he says is true.

All you FarkLibbies need to send him $52, so you can get that Prius you've been dreaming about.


Wow... you sure put us in our place.
 
2013-06-30 08:25:35 PM

Satanic_Hamster: LibertyHiller: Um ... no. The Mormons have a formal process where one has a sit-down with the bishop and makes a declaration of one's income and giving. (Disclaimer: Most of what I know about the LDS approach to tithing came up last year during the discussion over Rmoney's tax returns.)

OTOH, the Catholic church has no such process whatsoever. A column I read about a month ago (in the newspaper published by my archdiocese) explained that for us mackerel snappers, the general recommendation is 5% to one's parish, and another 5% to other charities.

So I toss $5 in the collection envelope if I'm not at Mass, and $20 on the rare occasions when I attend. For every buck the Church gets, I try to give $2 to the Human Rights Campaign, the ACLU, the SPLC or anything that supports what I consider to be the fundamental rights with which we are born. Fr. Tony is just glad to get a few hundred from me over the course of a year, and he wouldn't dare ask where the rest of my money goes.

Hell, it's not unknown for the Mormon church to contact the employer to check on an employees pay or for their members to ask for documents to be sent to the church.


If I had an LDS employee ask for such a document, I'd probably accommodate the request. I consider that common courtesy.

If the ward/stake/whatever came looking for that without my having a waiver from the employee on file, I'd point out that I'm thankfully not subject to LDS discipline and that it was none of their business. I'd then have a brief talk with said employee with a waiver form ready for them to take to a notary, with space left for the employee to fill in the specific names of the individuals to whom I was allowed to make such disclosure. Again, I'd go to the trouble out of common courtesy.

Then again, I don't live in Utah for very good reasons, although I love to ski there.
 
2013-06-30 08:33:44 PM

LibertyHiller: If I had an LDS employee ask for such a document, I'd probably accommodate the request. I consider that common courtesy.

If the ward/stake/whatever came looking for that without my having a waiver from the employee on file, I'd point out that I'm thankfully not subject to LDS discipline and that it was none of their business. I'd then have a brief talk with said employee with a waiver form ready for them to take to a notary, with space left for the employee to fill in the specific names of the individuals to whom I was allowed to make such disclosure. Again, I'd go to the trouble out of common courtesy.

Then again, I don't live in Utah for very good reasons, although I love to ski there.


My old man had to deal with that.  Naturally, he referred them to HR and to contact their employee at home and politely explained to them that they do not disclose employees details to third parties without permission of the employee.
 
2013-06-30 09:55:04 PM

Igor Jakovsky: Send me money
Send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution and you'll get a better seat
Bow to leper messiah




Didn't expect Metallica lyrics in here. Glad they showed up though.

Thanks
 
2013-06-30 10:33:35 PM

Tumunga: He's black. Because he's black, he doesn't fit the FarkLibtard definition of White Cracker Right Wing Fundamentalistic Tea-bagger. Therefore, anything he says is true.All you FarkLibbies need to send him $52, so you can get that Prius you've been dreaming about.


darkdiamond.net
 
2013-07-01 06:27:44 AM
If God really existed, I would hope (s)he would put this clown and his choppah right into some high-tension power lines.
 
2013-07-01 06:38:36 AM

orbister: ARedthorn: I came back around to Christianity because I decided it fit my ideals best

It doesn't work like that. You don't decide what you think is right and then choose a religion which fits; you choose a religion you think is true and then adopt the beliefs it dictates, even if that means changing your mind about some things. If Christianity is true, Islam, Buddhism, Shinto and Scientology are wrong. There's no room for different religions to be right for different people based on their preconceptions.

I would have a lot more respect for anti-gay christians if at least some of them said "You know, I really fancy some hot, sweaty, man-on-man action ... but the Bible says no, so that's that", just as I would have more respect for creationists if they said "Hey, yes, all the scientific evidence points to the earth being 6 billion years old and life having evolved, but the Bible says different and I have to believe the Bible."

TL;DR: Pretending religion makes sense doesn't make sense.


So... it's not ok when someone follows a faith blindly... you have no respect for someone who explores their faith either?

To be specific- I was raised Christian, but ran into the fundamentalists, who decided I wasn't hardcore enough for them and declared me a heretic. I pretty well walked away from Christianity after that, but still believed in God or at least felt a need for spiritual expression.

So I explored. I asked questions. I refined both my morality and theology, before eventually discovering that I agreed with reformation-era Christianity, before the fundamentalists and extremists started poisoning everything.

I'm not saying that all religions are right- or entirely wrong either. They each get a few things right and a few things wrong. What I ultimately decided was that most of the stuff Christianity gets wrong could be avoided on a personal level, or tailored out of the faith- as church history will show has happened a number of times... if only the fundamentalists hadn't decided church history was worthless.

As for the unquestioning believer you describe... no- I have no respect for him. If his faith were strong, he wouldn't fear questioning it. If his faith were living, he wouldn't fear letting it grow. Instead, it is as brittle and dead as pure, unrefined iron...
I expect anyone with any faith- be it in God, god, gods or no god at all- to constantly test, refine and temper their faith... and that's a standard I hold myself to, most of all. If that's not something you understand or respect... I'm sorry. Categorize me as you will. I think I'll live.
 
2013-07-01 08:30:30 AM
i.imgur.com
Sh*t yes, I'm laughing!
 
2013-07-01 12:57:01 PM
And next week's fark-ready headline,"CREFLO DOLLAR TAKING UP COLLECTIONS FOR NEW RIMS ON THE CHURCH'S  BENTLEY."

"It is God's Will that the church have 22in spinners on church transportation." -Creflo Dollar

\that is some serious ignorance right there
 
2013-07-01 02:39:33 PM
But he's just trying to creflo a dollar!  For Jesus.
 
2013-07-01 03:16:04 PM

clkeagle: Tumunga: He's black. Because he's black, he doesn't fit the FarkLibtard definition of White Cracker Right Wing Fundamentalistic Tea-bagger. Therefore, anything he says is true.

All you FarkLibbies need to send him $52, so you can get that Prius you've been dreaming about.

Wow... you sure put us in our place.


That's why I'm here.
 
2013-07-01 03:17:44 PM

Gordon Bennett: Tumunga: He's black. Because he's black, he doesn't fit the FarkLibtard definition of White Cracker Right Wing Fundamentalistic Tea-bagger. Therefore, anything he says is true.All you FarkLibbies need to send him $52, so you can get that Prius you've been dreaming about.

[darkdiamond.net image 504x420]


HEY! I got a couple of bites.
 
2013-07-01 04:04:11 PM

Tumunga: Gordon Bennett: Tumunga: He's black. Because he's black, he doesn't fit the FarkLibtard definition of White Cracker Right Wing Fundamentalistic Tea-bagger. Therefore, anything he says is true.All you FarkLibbies need to send him $52, so you can get that Prius you've been dreaming about.

[darkdiamond.net image 504x420]

HEY! I got a couple of bites.


I can't thank you enough for outing yourself.   :  )
 
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