If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Kos)   Pastor asks congregation to donate $50,000 to feed and clothe the homeless. Just kidding. It's a megachurch pastor and the money is for fixing his helicopter   (dailykos.com) divider line 258
    More: Asinine, Nissan Sentra, Robert F. Kennedy, homeless  
•       •       •

14903 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 2:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



258 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-30 08:10:04 AM

wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.


I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ
 
2013-06-30 08:16:17 AM

AnyName: wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.

I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ


That was awesome.
/bookmarked
 
2013-06-30 08:25:41 AM
God told me he can now fly without copter. Go to nearest tall building.
 
2013-06-30 08:27:26 AM
Idiots spending money like that when they can have real hope and change and donate it to Obama.
 
2013-06-30 08:35:25 AM
Next up for Bishop I. V. Hilliard:  Ask the members of his congregation to make a significant donation towards the purchase of a Gulfstream G650 because, as Jesus stated so strongly in his sermons, "The representatives of my Father's church should not be saddled with the evil and earthly torment of Satan's frequent-flyer b*tch miles."
 
2013-06-30 08:41:11 AM

AnyName: wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.

I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ


Evacuate? Now, in our time of triumph? No, we shall show them the power of this FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL Megachurch!

images.mackanzoor.com
 
2013-06-30 08:41:34 AM
Bishop I. V. Hilliard of the New Light Christian Church.
It's aptly named, anyway. It's not just Christianity, it's the all new and improved Christianity light.
 
2013-06-30 08:43:45 AM

Mr. Right: I understand the outrage about a church spending this kind of money, and I firmly believe that this "bishop" is a shyster and a fraud.  But I need to point out that everything he does, extravagant and wasteful though it be, is done with money that is freely donated.

Compare that to the billions of dollars that are manifestly wasted every single day by our various levels of government - federal, state, and local.  That money is not voluntarily given but is confiscated through threats and coercion.  I'm not talking about the worthy government expenditures.  I'm just talking the waste.  Why is there not a similar outrage?


"Freely donated?" Are you unaware what happens in churches?

Catholics: Tithe because God says so!
Methodists: You're responsible for keeping this church going!
Megachurches: God (OK, me) is telling you to empty your pocketbooks to keep his word going. Otherwise...you're going to hell! And don't worry about my closets of expensive suits and lavish house and cars...all paid for by your collection plates...that's just God being good to me...or something.
Jews: (They'll guilt you into giving your last nickel. Kol Nidre and all that.)
Mormons: See "Catholics"

It's all a racket.
 
2013-06-30 08:45:27 AM
Even the mob is more honest about what they do
 
2013-06-30 08:45:58 AM

A_Listless_Wanderer: Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect


This day will live in infirmary
 
2013-06-30 08:50:23 AM

Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.


If we ever sink back to 16th cent. -type religious wars here in the West ( Protestant vs. Catholic), I'm siding with the Catholics. This "Prosperity Gospel" heresy is something I'd be OK with being stomped out of existence....
 
2013-06-30 08:51:12 AM

Dumski: AnyName: wildlifer: So we have a Benny Hinn wannabe?
Paying for forgiveness is cathocism,
With baptists' it's free of charge, just ask, no middle man.

I wouldn't mess with him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNHDMXuuAQ

That was awesome.
/bookmarked


i'm farking crying over here
 
2013-06-30 08:51:29 AM

HotWingAgenda: Hilliard allegedly responded to Isiah Carey of Fox stating: "New Light Church World Outreach and Worship Centers, Inc. regularly make appeals

I want to laugh, but I get the feeling that's not a joke.


To be fair, most tax-exempt nonprofits are incorporated.  If you go to the county records or local equivalent, you'll see plenty of listings for something like "The Parish and Vestry of St. So-and-so, Inc.".
 
2013-06-30 08:51:39 AM
Hey, Rev.  If I sow a favor seed, do I get prayer oil and a prayer towel?  Can I anoint myself at the freedom rally?  Do you sleep upside down, hanging in a cave?
 
2013-06-30 08:54:34 AM

Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.


Holy crap, this. It's always been about class warfare. All the debate you see about the "Liberals vs the Conservatives", the "Republicans vs the Democrats" or the Romulans vs the Federation is just a bunch of useless jerking off. It's about the 1% vs everybody else. It's about the clueful vs the clueless.

As George Carlin pointed out:
"That is the way the ruling class operates in any society. They try to divide the rest of the people. They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other, so that they, the rich, can run off with all the farking money."
 
2013-06-30 08:55:34 AM

Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.


I picture Christ coming back with a flamethrower for these guys.  Tipping over the tables just didn't sink in.
 
2013-06-30 08:55:50 AM

Forbidden Doughnut: Mentat: jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.

It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.

If we ever sink back to 16th cent. -type religious wars here in the West ( Protestant vs. Catholic), I'm siding with the Catholics. This "Prosperity Gospel" heresy is something I'd be OK with being stomped out of existence....


Umm...you do know why the Reformation happened, right? One big thing was selling "indulgences" so that your dead relatives could escape the torments of hell they otherwise deserved. Or you could bankroll your own cushy postlife in advance.

Not much difference.
 
2013-06-30 08:56:19 AM

NutWrench: Holy crap, this. It's always been about class warfare. All the debate you see about the "Liberals vs the Conservatives", the "Republicans vs the Democrats" or the Romulans vs the Federation is just a bunch of useless jerking off. It's about the 1% vs everybody else. It's about the clueful vs the clueless.


i1198.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-30 08:59:57 AM
Note: Every Evangelical Protestant Preacher who calls himself a Bishop is a con-artist and a fraud.

/What do you want to bet 99% of Mega-Church members make fun of Catholics for "Following" the Pope.
 
2013-06-30 09:00:36 AM
Christianity in this country has been subverted.  It isn't a religion anymore so much as it is a fundraising group for a political party.  If it WERE a religion, then the adherents would actually follow the basic tenants.  But they don't.

For one example, bearing false witness against your neighbor is a no-no.  But look at the creationists and the climate change deniers.  No problems lying through their teeth.  For another example, the anti-abortion folks who say it's for religious reasons, yet their own holy book, specifically Numbers 5, not only doesn't endorses abortion, but in that passage details how it can be done in an acceptable manner by a priest in a church.

Every time I run into a fundie Christian, I can't help but roll my eyes.  It's too damned interesting a world to invent a fantasy one to replace it.

/fundie family, deals with it all the freaking time
 
2013-06-30 09:04:53 AM

maram500: "Freely donated?" Are you unaware what happens in churches?


And yet, there is no mandate that you join any of those churches.

maram500: It's all a racket.


Never said it wasn't.  It's a matter of choice vs. no choice.
 
2013-06-30 09:05:08 AM
We should flash-mob his megachurch, each one of us wearing a Mark 10:21 T-shirt.

The basic problem with this world is that there are people who, having read his appeal, will donate.
That problem can only be termed "stupidity."
 
2013-06-30 09:05:37 AM

Cpl.D: Christianity in this country has been subverted.  It isn't a religion anymore so much as it is a fundraising group for a political party.  If it WERE a religion, then the adherents would actually follow the basic tenants.  But they don't.

For one example, bearing false witness against your neighbor is a no-no.  But look at the creationists and the climate change deniers.  No problems lying through their teeth.  For another example, the anti-abortion folks who say it's for religious reasons, yet their own holy book, specifically Numbers 5, not only doesn't endorses abortion, but in that passage details how it can be done in an acceptable manner by a priest in a church.

Every time I run into a fundie Christian, I can't help but roll my eyes.  It's too damned interesting a world to invent a fantasy one to replace it.

/fundie family, deals with it all the freaking time


Remember, when preachers were paid so little the Church provided their house, usually right next to the church?  I do I also remember having a Church meeting over a new carpet request for the house.
 
2013-06-30 09:06:18 AM

MurphyMurphy: Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid

No, people made religion stupid.

There are very valid underlying philosophies that are worth examining in each of the popular religions. The mumbo-jumbo is easily separated from this (as it should be)

Stupid people using it as an escape from reality have just polluted what should otherwise be a noble and though-provoking exploration of ourselves, each other and all the things and reasons in this world we don't yet understand. This is nothing new, it's a timeless tradition.

Intelligent and honest people don't need to dismiss religion, they need to make it their own. It's not like the morons that believe angels are following them to work have any clue what it is they're doing anyways. 90% of the self professed Christians in this nation simply CAN NOT reconcile the cornerstones of their religions with their own lives and beliefs. (If we could, we wouldn't all be fat, greedy war-mongers.)
 We stomp on religion today. But it's not that deserving of it, it's the people that use it for their own selfish ends that need to be drug into the street and boo'd.

/Such as the db in tfa.

Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.


If he was a revolutionary *man* then there isn't much to separate him from Gandhi or Martin Luther King, is there?

Although there is approximately zero contemporary evidence of a historical Jesus, even if he did exist, it is precisely all of the mystical mumbo-jumbo that makes him different from thousands, if not millions of other intelligent and revolutionary men, is it not?
 
2013-06-30 09:07:05 AM
The true Mormon Church "The Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints" does not use money to pay any of the Priesthood. None NONE of the priesthood receive any money for working in the church.
 
2013-06-30 09:08:34 AM
Send me money
Send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution and you'll get a better seat
Bow to leper messiah
 
2013-06-30 09:09:47 AM
"habbeduh woob floopity, hemmeh umma wooma, hepta JEEEYUHZUSS, money money, hobbity hoo!"  and I've been trading my skills for bread and a roof.  Silly me.
 
2013-06-30 09:10:54 AM

boyd1031: The true Mormon Church "The Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints" does not use money to pay any of the Priesthood. None NONE of the priesthood receive any money for working in the church.


it all goes to keeping thier choppers running
 
2013-06-30 09:11:22 AM
ITT: Xtians biatching that people use the actions of Xtians to characterize the actions of Xtians. Don't those folks have a book that sayeth: "By their deeds, ye shall know them"?
 
2013-06-30 09:19:21 AM

violentsalvation:


The best part is his picture with that shiat eatin grin. Also his helicopter is flying underneath the power lines. That is dangerous.
 
2013-06-30 09:22:35 AM
Saying you can give god's "favor" to people in exchange for money... that just seems evil and by my ridiculously lax standards blasphemous. How the fark can people get sucked into this type of thing to the point that megachurches can own farking helicopters?
 
2013-06-30 09:24:52 AM
When at last, you see the light,
God's gonna buy you a satellite!

/Obscurish?
 
2013-06-30 09:26:35 AM

wraithmare: Grew up watching TBN. The Crouchs have been selling prosperity gospel for years.  If you can afford to give your dog its own mansion, I guess prosperity is working for someone.

/Took college and a few years to undo the damage those people did to my psyche.


*raises hand*  Put me in that boat.  Grew up with a massively fundamentalist father.  Took college to deprogram me from that.
 
2013-06-30 09:28:20 AM

Carousel Beast: When at last, you see the light,
God's gonna buy you a satellite!

/Obscurish?


About as obscure on FARK as:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My Friends all drive Porsches I must make amends
 
2013-06-30 09:32:17 AM
We invented money to help serve us in a way that was agreeable and equitable.  Everybody agreed it had value, so you could exchange it for a chicken dinner and a roof.  Now it's our latest issue, prefab tin god.  If it all burns to ashes tomorrow, I don't know if we'd be worse off than we are prostrate before it, licking it's ass and praying for it to fall in our laps.  We do, believe and condone some of the most egregious sh*t imaginable for these drab, numerically festooned IOUs.
 
2013-06-30 09:35:20 AM

Bloody William: Saying you can give god's "favor" to people in exchange for money... that just seems evil and by my ridiculously lax standards blasphemous. How the fark can people get sucked into this type of thing to the point that megachurches can own farking helicopters?


Simple.  They tailor their approach to attract the sort of people who don't question that sort of thing.  It's the same reason the Republicans, and decades ago, the Democrats, pander to them.  It's an easy voting block who will check the appropriate box if you say the right magic words on television.

Pavlov might have stopped long ago, but the bell is still reverberating.
 
2013-06-30 09:36:16 AM

boyd1031: The true Mormon Church "The Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints" does not use money to pay any of the Priesthood. None NONE of the priesthood receive any money for working in the church.


Instead it goes towards political misinformation campaigns designed to deprive other humans of their legal rights. Until the SCOTUS finally knocks that shiat down.


Yeah, totally better.
 
2013-06-30 09:38:17 AM

Cpl.D: Bloody William: Saying you can give god's "favor" to people in exchange for money... that just seems evil and by my ridiculously lax standards blasphemous. How the fark can people get sucked into this type of thing to the point that megachurches can own farking helicopters?

Simple.  They tailor their approach to attract the sort of people who don't question that sort of thing.  It's the same reason the Republicans, and decades ago, the Democrats, pander to them.  It's an easy voting block who will check the appropriate box if you say the right magic words on television.

Pavlov might have stopped long ago, but the bell is still reverberating.


Any supposed prophets or variants thereof are evil. Just evil. Or genuinely insane and committing evil acts through that madness.

I understand the need for meaning, but I can't really understand the ability to accept that another fallible human being can understand and pass on directions from a supposedly perfect source.
 
2013-06-30 09:38:47 AM
Pttth.. Any old cult can get you a helicopter..

But only with the one true way can you get a helicopter AND a robot hand.

Learn more about spacestar ordering!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38hiqW2E88A

And get a robot hand!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/wvpcsDQ-Jtw
 
2013-06-30 09:38:55 AM

Tom_Slick: Carousel Beast: When at last, you see the light,
God's gonna buy you a satellite!

/Obscurish?

About as obscure on FARK as:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My Friends all drive Porsches I must make amends


Awesome band, great song.   And apt.
 
2013-06-30 09:40:07 AM
What an asshole.
 
2013-06-30 09:42:08 AM

NecoConeco: Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?



http://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=76ohvqwsNkk
 
2013-06-30 09:42:21 AM

MurphyMurphy: Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find.


Most unfortunately, those are the types who have wormed and wheedled their way into various positions of power and attempt to remake the USA in their vision of propriety.

As long as Christians let the kooks run the faith, people will view Christians as kooks.
 
2013-06-30 09:45:08 AM
So they bought a helicopter and now think replacing the blades is over the line?  That is the height of stupidity and irresponsibility.
 
2013-06-30 09:52:21 AM
If bishops I, II, and III Hilliard could get away with it, why not him too?
 
2013-06-30 09:55:58 AM

bamph: wraithmare: Grew up watching TBN. The Crouchs have been selling prosperity gospel for years.  If you can afford to give your dog its own mansion, I guess prosperity is working for someone.

/Took college and a few years to undo the damage those people did to my psyche.

*raises hand*  Put me in that boat.  Grew up with a massively fundamentalist father.  Took college to deprogram me from that.


Proof that college is left-wing braiwashing tool!!1!
 
2013-06-30 10:01:02 AM

Igor Jakovsky: Also his helicopter is flying underneath the power lines. That is dangerous.


That's just the modern version of handling snakes.
 
2013-06-30 10:01:18 AM
MurphyMurphy: ...the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.

"My God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus' final words in the gospel, it sure does not sound like things went according to his plan. It makes me think that perhaps men like this megachurch (if that is not a scary word I don't know what is) pastor are the closest thing to a modern-day Jesus. Delude yourself into believing you are something you are not, use that delusion and your force of character to persuade others into believing in you. I'd say this pastor is a true man of god.

There is simply no way to distill the philosophy from the spiritual gobbledygook. They two are symbiotic structures when it comes to religion because the implication, stated or otherwise, is that one is supposed to be a good person in order to go to heaven and/or avoid god's wrath. That is not a philosophy of what ought to be done, it is one of "do this or else". I like to think that such concepts are vestigial and one day we will shrug them off.
 
2013-06-30 10:05:03 AM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.


I know God hates figs, but what does God have against TREES?
 
2013-06-30 10:06:43 AM

optikeye: Why does God Need A Helicopter?


Haha! Perfect!!!
 
Displayed 50 of 258 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report