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(Daily Kos)   Pastor asks congregation to donate $50,000 to feed and clothe the homeless. Just kidding. It's a megachurch pastor and the money is for fixing his helicopter   (dailykos.com) divider line 258
    More: Asinine, Nissan Sentra, Robert F. Kennedy, homeless  
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14899 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 2:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-30 02:54:47 AM
What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist
 
2013-06-30 02:56:34 AM
Q: How do you cloth people?

A: It's as easy as breatheing.
 
2013-06-30 02:58:33 AM
Why wouldn't God need a helicopter? Helicopters are awesome. God looked upon us one day and saw that we had made helicopters and spoketh, "Oh snap. That thing is dope as hell. Bless you my children for inventing a contraption that rivals my own creation."
 
2013-06-30 02:58:47 AM
Hilliard allegedly responded to Isiah Carey of Fox stating: "New Light Church World Outreach and Worship Centers, Inc. regularly make appeals

I want to laugh, but I get the feeling that's not a joke.
 
2013-06-30 02:58:56 AM
I offer subby my most enthusiastic contrafibularities for the headline
 
2013-06-30 02:59:27 AM
Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect
 
2013-06-30 03:00:39 AM
How else is gonna keep playing golf with Jesus?
 
2013-06-30 03:02:43 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mazel tov!


I wish that I could vote for this more than once! :-))

Smrt + Funnay +1,+1
 
2013-06-30 03:06:39 AM

A_Listless_Wanderer: Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect


Oh, wow! it actually was autocorrect, not intentional?!?

That makes it all the more Funnay!

(someone do the right thing, i'm broke here!)
 
2013-06-30 03:06:59 AM
Was the OBVIOUS tag in a limo with a hooker?
 
2013-06-30 03:08:59 AM
In the words of Rush LImbaugh
you have to consider the audience

and the fact is
that a very large portion of the population
is stupid
 
2013-06-30 03:09:57 AM
I got $100 that this is a Baptist or Non-Denominational Church.
/If you see a ATM machine in your church...........leave and never go back
 
2013-06-30 03:11:37 AM
Filter "Absentee Father"

"What's it gonna take
Intervene or just come clean
Where's your graceful hand?
Where's the ending, where's your reign"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TacMfL8wu1I
 
2013-06-30 03:15:03 AM

uttertosh: A_Listless_Wanderer: Dear Mods in the Sky,
Please fix the headline.
Thank you.
Subby.
PS. If I send you $5 a month may I have a helicopter?

/Congregation
//Congregation
///Congregation
/farking autocorrect

Oh, wow! it actually was autocorrect, not intentional?!?

That makes it all the more Funnay!



Not as funny as some of the other possible autocorrections beginning with "c".
 
2013-06-30 03:15:57 AM
Hey, my taxes went up and Air Force One got repaired, fueled, sent to Hawaii and Nantucket..  Then we got that "Cash for Clunkers"  Obama car.  So, like, you never know.
 
2013-06-30 03:16:25 AM

Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist


Actually Paul wrote quite a bit about warning the church that there would be people that tried to subvert the church from within. Sadly the prosperity gospel is not really supported by scripture.  The problem isn't necessarily getting new helicopter equipment (though I see no reason why a church would ever need such equipment in the first place), but rather the pastor indicating a quid pro quo type transaction for giving money to the church. That is entirely unbiblical and sadly unchristian.

Organized religion has certainly led to a plethora of problems in society, but as this is not true Christian behavior, it should not be counted against true Christianity as taught by the Bible.
 
2013-06-30 03:21:24 AM

Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist


What makes me laugh is the fact that Christians claim that their Jesus is the one who went into the Synagogues and told the people to get rid of the "moneychangers in the temple", yet these Christians attend Megachurches where the pastor, his family, and his staff ARE the moneychangers! They go into the megachurch and come out with a bill saying "Give the church 10 % of your wealth, to be a good Christian, and give us your tax returns to make sure you're giving your tithe." Judaism and Islam have the same guilt trip in their particular faiths, but no one is prying into someone's personal life to make sure they're being a "good person" in the eyes of the religious leader (who in Christianity's hands is mainly a fraudster as seen through these Megachurches)

/Jew
 
2013-06-30 03:21:31 AM
I'd like to replace my 17-year-old Stratus with something brand-new. Any y'all care to help me out with that?? (I mean, you do believe in me, right?) Nothing real fancy. A Ford Taurus or a Chrysler 200 would do just fine.
 
2013-06-30 03:26:06 AM

Lordserb: though I see no reason why a church would ever need such equipment in the first place


The church has 5 locations. How else are you gonna spread the Good Word in a timely fashion?
 
2013-06-30 03:28:20 AM

Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist



i112.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-30 03:30:31 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: What makes me laugh is the fact that Christians claim that their Jesus is the one who went into the Synagogues and told the people to get rid of the "moneychangers in the temple", yet these Christians attend Megachurches where the pastor, his family, and his staff ARE the moneychangers! They go into the megachurch and come out with a bill saying "Give the church 10 % of your wealth, to be a good Christian, and give us your tax returns to make sure you're giving your tithe." Judaism and Islam have the same guilt trip in their particular faiths, but no one is prying into someone's personal life to make sure they're being a "good person" in the eyes of the religious leader (who in Christianity's hands is mainly a fraudster as seen through these Megachurches)


Actually in Islam, getting into heaven is done by one of two ways.  Either you did more good than bad in your life (meaning that it is important for people in religious organizations to ensure people are living a good personal life) or martyring yourself.

But yes,  these megachurch pastors do seem to be involved in very suspect practices that are not supported by the Bible.

The 10% tithe, however, came from Abram giving 10% of the money he gained to Melchizidek. Tithing in the church today, of course, is still completely between God and the person.
 
2013-06-30 03:32:39 AM

Xanlexian: Befuddled: What astounds me isn't someone being so brazen to ask for handouts totaling fifty thousand dollars for their helicopter. What astounds me is people didn't get up and walk out right after he asked.

It's funny how the Christians don't seem to realize that if there is a God and a Devil, the Devil is going to be corrupting the good from within, that to stop using their God-given faculties to think and blindly follow someone because they say they're doing God's work is a surefire way to end up doing evil.

/atheist


[i112.photobucket.com image 640x444]


Of course, the Devil continuously quoting and fulfilling scripture would nullify that entire argument...
 
2013-06-30 03:33:37 AM

Lordserb: The 10% tithe, however, came from Abram giving 10% of the money he gained to Melchizidek. Tithing in the church today, of course, is still completely between God and the person.


I was always under the assumption that the 10% tithe, priests not being able to marry, things like this were all played up by the early and middle-age church to keep the flow of property and income headed to Rome.
 
2013-06-30 03:35:37 AM
They should pitch in and get this tool one of those 'Do-it-yourself hovercrafts' you always saw as a kid in Popular Science or Things You Never Knew Existed catalogs.
 
2013-06-30 03:36:36 AM

MurphyMurphy: Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid

No, people made religion stupid.

There are very valid underlying philosophies that are worth examining in each of the popular religions. The mumbo-jumbo is easily separated from this (as it should be)

Stupid people using it as an escape from reality have just polluted what should otherwise be a noble and though-provoking exploration of ourselves, each other and all the things and reasons in this world we don't yet understand. This is nothing new, it's a timeless tradition.

Intelligent and honest people don't need to dismiss religion, they need to make it their own.
We stomp on religion today. But it's not that deserving of it, it's the people that use it for their own selfish ends that need to be drug into the street and boo'd.

/Such as the db in tfa.

Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.


Well said, and I don't know if I've heard this argument put in this way before. Usually, when I hear in a conversation the statement that someone is against "organized religion," my eyes would glaze over in anticipation of mindless drivel, but they don't have to because the speaker is usually done, leaning back to take in the effects of their hip, edgy, independent-thinker mentality on my dumb little religious brain.
Organized religion, or the people acting in the name of it, has led to a lot of awfulness. But I would argue, part for parcel, in ways that don't get reported on too often in the public consciousness in the same way that airplane crashes are over-reported as against the millions of planes that take off and land safely every day, it's probably done considerably more good than harm. It gives many of us of a grounding in basic moral philosophy, it encourages tenets and codes of conduct that have a remarkable amount in common no matter what the religion or where on earth, it inspires, it gives desperate people a reason to go on, it feeds hungry people, it provides shelter to abused people, it provides counsel to confused people, a sense of community for lonely people or newcomers to an area, and it provides a wonderful and needed safety net for people in the netherworld between middle-class comfort and the more abject poverty needed for government assistance.

That said, things like this are a big part of the problem. Megachurches sorta scare me.
 
2013-06-30 03:37:29 AM

NecoConeco: Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?


Rolex??  Pffft. Jesus would wear a Breitling Navitimer with the circular slide-rule bezel for his in-flight computations.
www.hardwatches.com
 
2013-06-30 03:38:40 AM
www.newlight.org
farm6.staticflickr.com

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-06-30 03:38:49 AM

dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.

I've always been a tremendous fan of Jesus. I just don't believe he was the son of God. I don't believe in God, for that matter. But that Jesus cat was alright. If I had to emulate only one person from history, it'd be him.

And that's why people like the subject of TFA astound and anger me. Despite not being a Christian I'm actually personally offended by people who use my man Jesus to dupe the gullible. I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.


Pretty farkin' angry.
 
2013-06-30 03:39:23 AM
Jesus walked on water there is no reason this Turkey couldn't flap his wings and fly
 
2013-06-30 03:39:35 AM
I'm the Weeners this?

southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

drjekel_mrhyde: I got $100 that this is a Baptist or Non-Denominational Church.
/If you see a ATM machine in your church...........leave and never go back


Get yer money changed, right here in the temple!

There's no Walmart of salvation. It is an individual journey for each person. I guess some people are able to get a sense of community or "salvation" from this version of it.. even if it is an obvious long-con from anyone outside looking in.

I wish people were smarter but if that makes them happy somehow they're free to be duped.
 
2013-06-30 03:40:47 AM
Is "congratulations" (instead of congregation) in the headline a typo by a drunk-mitter, or is this a reference to something else?

Thank you.
 
2013-06-30 03:41:19 AM
"One sacred chicken to go..."
 
2013-06-30 03:43:22 AM

jtown: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Is that legit? What kind of church has an "Aviation Department"?

Oh right a fake one.
 
2013-06-30 03:45:30 AM

Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid


I'm more inclined to think it's a form of mental illness.
 
2013-06-30 03:46:52 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 2 Chronicles 20:20


There's also 2 Corinthians 9:7-8 "7Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

Which is lovely, since he doesn't finish the complete statement, particularly verse 9 "9As it is written: "They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;their righteousness endures forever."

Though in the letter he does reference sowing gifts, which comes along in verse 10, but by skipping verse 9 he makes it mean something very different.

And his use of Mark 10 is super lulzy the verses he cites, 27-30

" 27Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." 28Then Peter spoke up, "We have left everything to follow you!" 29"Truly I tell you," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields-along with persecutions-and in the age to come eternal life."

Come right after Jesus tells the rich man to give up everything and come follow him, only to have the rich man walk away dejected. And right after, verse 23, is "23Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!"

This guy is a Biblical shyster of just epic proportions.
 
2013-06-30 03:48:09 AM
In all fairness, what better way is there to get all uppity than to have your own private helicopter?
 
2013-06-30 03:51:22 AM

violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Wow. I can't decide whether I am more:

* shocked at how brazen he is
* angry at what a phenomenally shiatty human being he is
* grudgingly impressed that he has so little shame and thus has become fabulously wealthy by bilking ignoramuses
* sad for the people who believe that "prosperity gospel" stuff
* pleased that "a fool and his money are soon parted" is so neatly reinforced

/"I'm looking for your name on my Specials Friends list so I can agree with you in prayer" is just so farking manipulative
 
2013-06-30 03:51:28 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: What makes me laugh is the fact that Christians claim that their Jesus is the one who went into the Synagogues and told the people to get rid of the "moneychangers in the temple", yet these Christians attend Megachurches where the pastor, his family, and his staff ARE the moneychangers! They go into the megachurch and come out with a bill saying "Give the church 10 % of your wealth, to be a good Christian, and give us your tax returns to make sure you're giving your tithe." Judaism and Islam have the same guilt trip in their particular faiths, but no one is prying into someone's personal life to make sure they're being a "good person" in the eyes of the religious leader (who in Christianity's hands is mainly a fraudster as seen through these Megachurches)


The thing you have to remember is that these fundy evangelicals don't actually read the bible. They listen to their churches and think they know what's in there.
They haven't heard about the money lenders. They don't know what was actually in the Sermon on the Mount. They certainly don't know about what Jesus said about "hypocrites who pray on street corners."
Studies have shown that in America, Atheists know more about what's in the bible than Christians.
 
2013-06-30 03:53:31 AM

danielscissorhands: Is "congratulations" (instead of congregation) in the headline a typo by a drunk-mitter, or is this a reference to something else?

Thank you.


It was a typo. Yes, I was drunk.

/still am
 
2013-06-30 04:00:57 AM
I do believe that the scene in Car Wash with Richard Pryor as Daddy Rich was intended as broad, extreme satire. (a bit of nsfw language)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbTEusaf2nU

It doesn't seem that way now. Poe's law strikes again.
 
2013-06-30 04:03:05 AM
Dr Gene Scott used to do the same thing when he wanted to buy another horse. I found his candor refreshing at a time when Oral Roberts was telling people that God wanted 8 million dollars to let him live.

/He was also the best televangelist to watch when high. I wouldn't be surprised if Glenn Beck got his chalkboard bit from him.

img809.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-30 04:05:18 AM

C18H27NO3: Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid

I'm more inclined to think it's a form of mental illness.


Going along with this plot would be a form of mental illness.

Alright, I'm seeing several broad-based references to religion as a whole, and as an admitted apologist, I'm just going to go out on a limb here - this has about as much to do with religion as rape does with sex. All of the outside accidents are there -it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck....but it ain't a duck.

This doesn't look like "religion" to me. It looks like a brazen attempt on the part of megalomaniac leadership to fleece a believing congregation out of money (and yes, I'm well aware that some enthusiastic smart-ass is going to bold that in a response post and tell me I've just defined religion). It's not anywhere close to legal fraud, but it is an exceptional deviation from appropriate behavior on the part of congregational leadership, and a pretty see-through attempt at emotional extortion.

Speaking of see-through, the article references "community outrage," and to point where he had to issue a response attempting to defend his initial quest, so I guess maybe these religious sheeple defied the norm by seeing through it.
 
2013-06-30 04:06:07 AM
Here's his house....
img10.imageshack.us
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.
 
2013-06-30 04:10:41 AM
Nice to finally see a Christian religious leader with his priorities straight...

Of course, I'm sure that I will be told that one asshat is not representative of an entire religion, most likely by someone who will also insist that all Muslims are terrorists.
 
2013-06-30 04:12:51 AM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]



This shiat always depresses me. I'm no Commie, but man, when you run around professing the Lord's word - and the Beatitudes are any part of your arsenal, which they are if you are kind of a Christian preacher - and this is the way you live, you're awful. Justin Bieber is my current daily pop culture smack in the face on that issue - really, kid? If you're such a great Christian, quit with the 50 trillion dollar pairs of diamond-studded shoelaces and show up somewhere in your own country with a banquet for the homeless. And wash their feet, while you're at it.
 
2013-06-30 04:14:26 AM
Bonanza Jellybean I LOVE your FARK handle.

Tom Robbins is one of my all-time favorites. Another Roadside Attraction covers a great deal of this silliness quite nicely. Why this book has never been developed into a major motion picture defies reasoning.
 
2013-06-30 04:18:19 AM

Dahnkster: Here's his house....
[img10.imageshack.us image 627x327]
Don't be so jelly. God would smote him if he didn't deserve it. BTW, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out most of the members of Rev. Hilliard's congregation likely vote strict Democratic ticket and are opposed to same-sex marriage. You guys are unfamiliar with the Rev. Hilliard and Paula White story? Where's your messiah now? Rev. Ike and Creflo A Dollar were preaching the prosperity gospel and fleecing the rubes for decades prior to this. The faithful followers of his mega-church believe this only confirms the man has God's blessings. You folks think only 'whitey' fundamentalist evangelicals preach that 'Word of Faith' prosperity theology? Wise the fark up.

Who ever said that? T.D Jakes(black) house is more than likely twice that size plus what's a helicopter to him, he'll ask for a millions for new jet engines for his fleet.
 
2013-06-30 04:25:48 AM

bindlestiff2600: In the words of Rush LImbaugh
you have to consider the audience

and the fact is
that a very large portion of the population
is stupid


Assume intelligence has a normal distribution, just like height, or pinky size, or every other natural attribute. Now the "normal" IQ, i.e., the top point on the curve, is defined as an IQ of 100. Now, 100 is not a very high IQ. So we are saying the average person is not very bright. 50 percent of the population is not even as bright as the average person.
 
2013-06-30 04:26:14 AM
dickfreckle: MurphyMurphy: I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.

Ranger Rover: Pretty farkin' angry.

Agreed. This is not religion. It is disguised as religion, but it is abuse. It is a con job and yet another pyramid scheme.

Anyone with even an ounce of theological familiarity could undercut this guy left and right.

And I'm not sure crap like this happens because people are stupid either. I think crap like this happens because people want an easy answer- even if it's a wrong answer- and will do anything to get it... including- no, especially- fool themselves. That's a kind of idiocy, I'll grant you- but a voluntary one, not innate.

After all- this kind of BS isn't just limited to pseudo-religion... it's also present in pseudo-science and pseudo-economics and pseudo-politics. It crops up any time someone gets a bright idea how to get rich off the abuse of others... religion is just a popular disguise because it comes with tax write-offs.

[Which is a whole other subject. Even as a Christian, I don't think those tax write-offs should exist... something about giving to Caesar what is Caesar's... and getting rid of them would probably at least reduce the number of these asshats running around.]
 
2013-06-30 04:26:47 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: Who ever said that?


Yeah verily, I say unto thee. Many of our Fark brethren advocate that that the followers of Republican Jesus have a monopoly on the Gospel according to Prosperity. There are many verses espousing these beliefs written in St. Fark's epistles to the Politics tab. If that were not so, I would have told you.
 
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