If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Kos)   Pastor asks congregation to donate $50,000 to feed and clothe the homeless. Just kidding. It's a megachurch pastor and the money is for fixing his helicopter   (dailykos.com) divider line 258
    More: Asinine, Nissan Sentra, Robert F. Kennedy, homeless  
•       •       •

14898 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 2:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



258 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-29 11:30:30 PM
Even con artists have expenses.
 
2013-06-29 11:32:38 PM
Mazel tov!
 
2013-06-29 11:34:46 PM
Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?
 
2013-06-29 11:37:30 PM
www.newlight.org
 
2013-06-29 11:39:46 PM
Congregations on writing what will surely be the headline of the week, subby.
 
2013-06-29 11:40:53 PM
I had something else typed but fark ate it. Anyway, that is absolutely crazy. I'm still not entirely convinced it isn't satire.
 
2013-06-29 11:43:10 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?


religion makes people stupid
 
2013-06-29 11:44:24 PM

violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Astounding.

He's actually saying that if you donate money to his helicopter upgrade, God will provide money for your own car repairs.

I'll admit, I really didn't believe that the health and wealth gospel was real.  But there it is.
 
2013-06-29 11:46:14 PM
Congregations on the greenlight!
 
2013-06-29 11:52:40 PM
Personal Jesus.
 
2013-06-29 11:55:56 PM
I'm surprised no one here jumped on "Are you trying to  salea car..."

Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive.  It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.
 
2013-06-29 11:59:03 PM
In exchange for money, he said the Lord will issue a favor to congregants that might help them obtain their dream vehicle.

That's a better deal than I get from Wall Street.
 
2013-06-29 11:59:03 PM

jake_lex: I'm surprised no one here jumped on "Are you trying to  salea car..."

Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive.  It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.


What galls me most is how he has to dress it up as an exchange, complete with appeal to greed.  He couldn't just say "We need X dollars to upgrade the helicopter" and "It's okay to pray for your finances."  Instead, it was "Give us X dollars to upgrade the helicopter and God MIGHT help your finances."
 
2013-06-30 12:00:24 AM
Bill Graham flies into power lines and this sh*tstain is allowed to live

/there is no god
 
2013-06-30 12:02:30 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bill Graham flies into power lines and this sh*tstain is allowed to live

/there is no god


Yeah, I hope this asshole's "Aviation manager" used to work for Stevie Ray Vaughn.

Seriously, what the fark kind of church has an "Aviation Manager"?
 
2013-06-30 12:03:43 AM
disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com
Why does God Need A Helicopter?
 
2013-06-30 12:12:17 AM
It's like a bad Facebook post or email forward.
 
2013-06-30 12:17:17 AM

Bucky Katt: religion makes people stupid


No, people made religion stupid.

There are very valid underlying philosophies that are worth examining in each of the popular religions. The mumbo-jumbo is easily separated from this (as it should be)

Stupid people using it as an escape from reality have just polluted what should otherwise be a noble and though-provoking exploration of ourselves, each other and all the things and reasons in this world we don't yet understand. This is nothing new, it's a timeless tradition.

Intelligent and honest people don't need to dismiss religion, they need to make it their own. It's not like the morons that believe angels are following them to work have any clue what it is they're doing anyways. 90% of the self professed Christians in this nation simply CAN NOT reconcile the cornerstones of their religions with their own lives and beliefs. (If we could, we wouldn't all be fat, greedy war-mongers.)
 We stomp on religion today. But it's not that deserving of it, it's the people that use it for their own selfish ends that need to be drug into the street and boo'd.

/Such as the db in tfa.

Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.
 
2013-06-30 12:18:09 AM
A rotary winged sty.

I hope he gets some Dr House level disease that makes him totally incontinent with constant flatulence topped off with chronic diarrhea.
 
2013-06-30 12:28:45 AM

violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]


Is this real life?
 
2013-06-30 12:31:33 AM

MurphyMurphy: No, people made religion, stupid.


FTFY
 
2013-06-30 12:37:33 AM

Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?


as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.
 
2013-06-30 12:50:39 AM
The Bible verse he references in the letter says this:

2 Chronicles 20:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful."

So, this charlatan is essentially calling himself a prophet.
 
2013-06-30 12:53:37 AM

Bathia_Mapes: The Bible verse he references in the letter says this:

2 Chronicles 20:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful."

So, this charlatan is essentially calling himself a prophet.


Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!

/That's spelled "Profit"
 
2013-06-30 12:53:56 AM

violentsalvation: Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?

as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.


Bishop says:
In the letter there is no mention of a ministry need of $50,000 but an opportunity to save $50,000

So, there's no limit to how much they can take in.
 
2013-06-30 12:54:27 AM

violentsalvation: Thoguh: violentsalvation: [www.newlight.org image 833x1500]

Is this real life?

as far as I can tell. Here the Bishop um clarifies, or something.


I like how it says "we didn't say we needed $50,000, we said we could save $50,000". The unstated part is that they likely need way more than 50k in order to save that much money on aircraft parts.
 
2013-06-30 12:58:33 AM

jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.


i.imgur.comi.imgur.com

It has some roots in 19th and early 20th century liberal mind-cure/religious healing sort of stuff. A lot of that did already have a Christian flavor to it, but its the hypercapitalist fantasy that really sets this contemporary  stuff apart.
 
2013-06-30 01:15:54 AM

Bucky Katt: cameroncrazy1984: Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?

religion makes people stupid


Also, people who are naturally stupid, or damaged, or desperate, kind of find their way to religion.
 
2013-06-30 01:16:18 AM
This seems to be a decent article to precede the next green lit article.
 
2013-06-30 01:20:40 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: The Bible verse he references in the letter says this:

2 Chronicles 20:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful."

So, this charlatan is essentially calling himself a prophet.

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!

/That's spelled "Profit"


Heh! You are correct, sir. :-D
 
2013-06-30 01:23:40 AM

cameroncrazy1984: Did you read the appeal? Good god. Donate $52 and God will provide you with your dream vehicle in as little as 52 days!

How can some people be so retarded?


you're telling me you don't dream about vehicles at least once every 52 days?
 
2013-06-30 01:36:13 AM
And to think that it's all tax free. Praise Jesus.
 
2013-06-30 01:36:34 AM

jake_lex: Prosperity Gospel is just repulsive. It really does sound like it's welding some New Age "The Secret" bullshiat onto Christianity to rip off suckers.


It's more than that.  It's an attempt to fuse Evangelical Christianity with Free Market Capitalism.  By fusing Jesus with the Dollar, you create a doctrine whereby any attempt to constrain capitalism is not simply socialism, but is actually a sin against God.  Moreover, if you aren't successful, it's because you're not blessed by God, so you had better get with the program if you want to get your proper reward in heaven.
 
2013-06-30 01:48:38 AM
If Jesus ever meets this twat, he is going to kick his lying, greedy balls from here to Kingdom Come.

/atheist, for damn good reason.
 
2013-06-30 02:03:18 AM
Donated... loves to help people in real need.
 
2013-06-30 02:08:51 AM

optikeye: Why does God Need A Helicopter?


He is a big Airwolf fan. How do you think the show lasted four years?
 
2013-06-30 02:11:32 AM
Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?
 
2013-06-30 02:21:45 AM
The pastor asked his "congratulation" to donate?

I had to read that several times, thinking the stinking heat even at this hour was messing with my eyes, but no, that's what the headline says.

SMH, subby.
 
2013-06-30 02:39:59 AM

silvervial: The pastor asked his "congratulation" to donate?

I had to read that several times, thinking the stinking heat even at this hour was messing with my eyes, but no, that's what the headline says.

SMH, subby.


How else can you cloth the homeless besides asking a congratulation?
 
2013-06-30 02:42:01 AM
"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money."

- George Carlin
 
2013-06-30 02:42:25 AM
Well how the hell is feeding the homeless supposed to fix his chopper? Or is he just supposed to be a chopperless megachurch pastor?
 
2013-06-30 02:45:55 AM
What a farking joke.
 
2013-06-30 02:47:11 AM

NecoConeco: Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself


Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?


Sacha Baron Cohen's next film: he goes in to character (and never breaks) as the written New Testament Jesus.  And then meets and talks woth American evangelists and politicians.
 
2013-06-30 02:48:19 AM

MurphyMurphy: Some people see Christianity and see a bunch of insanity. They aren't wrong, there is plenty of insanity to find. But if they look closer, past the morons, they might see what I and many others do;

the story of an incredibly intelligent and revolutionary man that tried to tell people how to treat each other better and make the world a better place.
We should just ignore the fact they tried to bookend his words with thousands of pages of fairy tales, draconian stone-age laws and fever dreams.


I've always been a tremendous fan of Jesus. I just don't believe he was the son of God. I don't believe in God, for that matter. But that Jesus cat was alright. If I had to emulate only one person from history, it'd be him.

And that's why people like the subject of TFA astound and anger me. Despite not being a Christian I'm actually personally offended by people who use my man Jesus to dupe the gullible. I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I were an actual believer.
 
2013-06-30 02:48:55 AM

FirstNationalBastard: optikeye: Why does God Need A Helicopter?

He is a big Airwolf fan. How do you think the show lasted four years?


Because it was awesome?
 
2013-06-30 02:49:29 AM
What does god need with a helicopter?
 
2013-06-30 02:50:55 AM
Grew up watching TBN. The Crouchs have been selling prosperity gospel for years.  If you can afford to give your dog its own mansion, I guess prosperity is working for someone.

/Took college and a few years to undo the damage those people did to my psyche.
 
2013-06-30 02:52:34 AM
Brothers and Sisters! Billy Dee Williams needs a new helicopter!
 
2013-06-30 02:53:55 AM
No, this is not asinine.  What is asinine is that his moranic followers will probably give him the money.
 
2013-06-30 02:54:46 AM

optikeye: [disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com image 450x338]
Why does God Need A Helicopter?


Came here to say that.
 
Displayed 50 of 258 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report