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(SFGate)   You get shot twice on your porch on Friday morning and survive. On Saturday morning do you: A) Tell the police who shot you B) Stay away from your windows C) Go outside to sit on your porch?   (sfgate.com) divider line 62
    More: Scary  
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7691 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 5:07 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-29 11:58:16 PM
There's just all kinds of WTF in this story.
 
2013-06-29 11:59:26 PM
C. Obviously the bastard that are trying to kill me are too incompetent to make it happen.

No need to worry
 
2013-06-30 12:07:10 AM
Gang members killing gang members...
 
2013-06-30 12:09:57 AM
Guy gets shot at and lives, fails to co-operate with police and then just over 24 hours later sits out on his front porch like nothings happened until some guy (the same guy most likely) comes along and pops a cap in his head killing him?

I guess my only question here is why didn't he just use the Holy Hand Grenade to protect himself.
 
2013-06-30 01:09:04 AM
2 strikes to Darwin... and... HE STEPS BACK AND POINTS HIS BAT AT THE CENTER FIELD WALL!
 
2013-06-30 01:23:58 AM
So, he wasn't sitting on the front porch with a shotgun on his lap?
 
2013-06-30 02:55:28 AM
farm6.staticflickr.com
At least change shirts.

/Worked for Target he did.
 
2013-06-30 05:10:25 AM
img.youtube.com
 
2013-06-30 05:13:57 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: 2 strikes to Darwin... and... HE STEPS BACK AND POINTS HIS BAT AT THE CENTER FIELD WALL!


This meme isn't as funny as the Anne Frank/ Helen Keller one.
 
2013-06-30 05:27:02 AM
Good old antioch. Has anyone explored the old glass factory.  I'm not even sure if it's still there or not.
 
2013-06-30 05:28:51 AM

quatchi: Guy gets shot at and lives, fails to co-operate with police and then just over 24 hours later sits out on his front porch like nothings happened until some guy (the same guy most likely) comes along and pops a cap in his head killing him?

I guess my only question here is why didn't he just use the Holy Hand Grenade to protect himself.


Are you suggesting he was shot by a rabbit?
 
2013-06-30 05:34:20 AM
imageshack.us
 
2013-06-30 05:41:44 AM

quatchi: Guy gets shot at and lives, fails to co-operate with police and then just over 24 hours later sits out on his front porch like nothings happened until some guy (the same guy most likely) comes along and pops a cap in his head killing him?


Was this a plot line "The Wire?"
 
2013-06-30 05:44:41 AM
Ah, Antioch. California's Florida.
 
2013-06-30 05:45:41 AM
He obviously was the son of a rich tycoon, who'd grown bored with his life and wanted to teach his father a lesson for never paying attention to him. He hired a professional assassin to take him out. His hope being that his father would see the error of his ways and pay more attention to the remainder of his family and less time in acquiring wealth.

www.japanator.com
 
2013-06-30 05:46:47 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

PurplePorch makes a fine shroud. seat.

FTFH.
 
2013-06-30 05:59:16 AM

jtown: quatchi: Guy gets shot at and lives, fails to co-operate with police and then just over 24 hours later sits out on his front porch like nothings happened until some guy (the same guy most likely) comes along and pops a cap in his head killing him?

I guess my only question here is why didn't he just use the Holy Hand Grenade to protect himself.

Are you suggesting he was shot by a rabbit?


Are you suggesting rabbits migrate?
 
2013-06-30 06:04:53 AM
I'd take the stitches from snitching in this situation, although maybe he was protecting his family by not talking.
 
2013-06-30 06:22:04 AM

Wolf892: He obviously was the son of a rich tycoon, who'd grown bored with his life and wanted to teach his father a lesson for never paying attention to him. He hired a professional assassin to take him out. His hope being that his father would see the error of his ways and pay more attention to the remainder of his family and less time in acquiring wealth.


Golgo 13 wouldn't have grazed the victim, he'd headshot him at 3,500 metres just to be awesome.
 
2013-06-30 06:25:15 AM

Kalashinator: Wolf892: He obviously was the son of a rich tycoon, who'd grown bored with his life and wanted to teach his father a lesson for never paying attention to him. He hired a professional assassin to take him out. His hope being that his father would see the error of his ways and pay more attention to the remainder of his family and less time in acquiring wealth.

Golgo 13 wouldn't have grazed the victim, he'd headshot him at 3,500 metres just to be awesome.


That's how he ensured no one would ever think it was him. He's so professional that his dignity doesn't even factor into making sure that he remains hidden in the shadows, visible only from the legends he leaves behind.....
 
2013-06-30 06:52:15 AM
Mark my words:  The way you people personify natural selection, in 100 years people will be praying to Darwin 100% sans irony.

/which will be ironic
 
2013-06-30 07:10:42 AM

lewismarktwo: Mark my words:  The way you people personify natural selection, in 100 years people will be praying to Darwin 100% sans irony.

/which will be ironic


I doubt it.

Some people just don't understand when others aren't serious.
 
2013-06-30 07:11:04 AM
Because fark him.
 
2013-06-30 07:12:23 AM
HEY I came here to see my obligatory picture of Smokey and Craig..

WHERE IS IT?
 
2013-06-30 07:15:10 AM
Just another day in the hood.
andreirublev.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-30 07:34:25 AM
someone that liked to sit on the porch? If only there were a term for that, something involving porches and primates or simians....
 
2013-06-30 07:38:26 AM
The gunman is his brother. He tries to shoot him once a month.
 
2013-06-30 07:42:29 AM

lewismarktwo: Mark my words:  The way you people personify natural selection, in 100 years people will be praying to Darwin 100% sans irony.


Over time, anything or anyone can become the basis of a new religion. A new religion involving Darwin, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, and flying saucers? Sure, why not.
 
2013-06-30 07:49:53 AM

Uncle Tractor: lewismarktwo: Mark my words:  The way you people personify natural selection, in 100 years people will be praying to Darwin 100% sans irony.

Over time, anything or anyone can become the basis of a new religion. A new religion involving Darwin, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, and flying saucers? Sure, why not.


If you know what you're doing, you don't even have to wait.
 
2013-06-30 07:56:28 AM
exactly why i'm saving u for a Yo! Mtv Raps Casket. cause you nevah no.
 
2013-06-30 07:57:05 AM

Wolf892: Kalashinator: Wolf892: He obviously was the son of a rich tycoon, who'd grown bored with his life and wanted to teach his father a lesson for never paying attention to him. He hired a professional assassin to take him out. His hope being that his father would see the error of his ways and pay more attention to the remainder of his family and less time in acquiring wealth.

Golgo 13 wouldn't have grazed the victim, he'd headshot him at 3,500 metres just to be awesome.

That's how he ensured no one would ever think it was him. He's so professional that his dignity doesn't even factor into making sure that he remains hidden in the shadows, visible only from the legends he leaves behind.....


Ahhhh....no wonder he's the best!

/also, in before clerks2porchmonkey4life.jpg
 
2013-06-30 08:08:05 AM
Foo me once, something something.
 
2013-06-30 08:12:21 AM
TV news is reporting he just got shot again.
 
2013-06-30 08:23:23 AM
Hit man: Sorry dude, I didn't mean to miss.  I am just not used to shooting the guy who hires me.

Dead guy:  That isn't my problem.  My problem is I paid a guy to kill me and he is a lousy shot.

HM:  Alright, I'll be back this afternoon.  I'm hitting the range first.

DG:  Good, no more chances.  All this shooting is scaring my kids.


/why criminals need to use gun ranges
//gun related incidents would reduce if they get the guy the first time.
 
2013-06-30 08:25:49 AM
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

einstein
 
2013-06-30 08:31:56 AM
What? He should stop sitting out on his front porch for the rest of his life?
 
2013-06-30 08:36:02 AM
Meanwhile, in Japan, the worst thing a cop has to deal with is... well just see for yourself.

http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/goldennews/imgs/1/e/1e1aa847-s.jpg
livedoor.blogimg.jp
 
2013-06-30 08:36:25 AM
2100 block of Spanos Street,

that's what the hell happens when you live on The Sopranos St.
 
2013-06-30 08:44:27 AM

LavenderWolf: lewismarktwo: Mark my words:  The way you people personify natural selection, in 100 years people will be praying to Darwin 100% sans irony.

/which will be ironic

I doubt it.

Some people just don't understand when others aren't serious.


I think that may be my point, but I'm not sure.
 
2013-06-30 08:51:25 AM

croesius: [imageshack.us image 768x447]


This is awesome
 
2013-06-30 08:59:09 AM

quatchi: Guy gets shot at and lives, fails to co-operate with police and then just over 24 hours later sits out on his front porch like nothings happened until some guy (the same guy most likely) comes along and pops a cap in his head killing him?

I guess my only question here is why didn't he just use the Holy Hand Grenade to protect himself.


He counted to five.
 
2013-06-30 09:06:28 AM

lewismarktwo: Mark my words:  The way you people personify natural selection, in 100 years people will be praying to Darwin 100% sans irony.


What makes you think they're not already?
 
2013-06-30 09:15:41 AM

remus: So, he wasn't sitting on the front porch with a shotgun on his lap?


I'm going to go ahead and assume that he was armed or had a weapon nearby, thought he would be badass and wait around for the guy who shot him... but they saw him first, snuck up and shot him in the head "gotta do it right this farking time" style.

Used to see it all the time back in another life.  People always assume they'll actually get the chance to fight back.  A lot of the time, you dont even see it co


/fark you david chase
 
2013-06-30 09:23:32 AM

Kalashinator: Wolf892: He obviously was the son of a rich tycoon, who'd grown bored with his life and wanted to teach his father a lesson for never paying attention to him. He hired a professional assassin to take him out. His hope being that his father would see the error of his ways and pay more attention to the remainder of his family and less time in acquiring wealth.

Golgo 13 wouldn't have grazed the victim, he'd headshot him at 3,500 metres just to be awesome.


I have yet to watch that anime. Its been hanging around in netflix for a while and I just haven't gotten to it.
 
2013-06-30 09:33:35 AM
I would probably tell the police who shot me to stay away from my windows, but I'm not sure I would want them sitting on my porch.
 
2013-06-30 09:38:49 AM
www.singleblackmale.org

/didn't like people playin' on his phone
 
2013-06-30 09:42:20 AM

lack of warmth: Hit man: Sorry dude, I didn't mean to miss.  I am just not used to shooting the guy who hires me.

Dead guy:  That isn't my problem.  My problem is I paid a guy to kill me and he is a lousy shot.

HM:  Alright, I'll be back this afternoon.  I'm hitting the range first.

DG:  Good, no more chances.  All this shooting is scaring my kids.


/why criminals need to use gun ranges
//gun related incidents would reduce if they get the guy the first time.


Also a good reason not to shoot sideways.
 
2013-06-30 09:44:34 AM

Arthur Jumbles: Gang members killing gang members...


Lies, gang members all have guns so they never go after each other. This guy must not have a gun which is why gang members with guns are taking advantage of him.
 
2013-06-30 09:46:13 AM
Sounds like all those gunshot wound victims I met who were minding their own business and somebody just up and shot them five times.
 
2013-06-30 09:51:50 AM
Sounds like whoever was after him came back to finish the job. Either the victim knew he was farked and took his medicine or he didn't give a shiat any more.
 
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