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(STLToday)   Woman bathed with macaque, slept with macaque, thought macaque was tame. But in the end macaque proved to be unpredictable   (stltoday.com) divider line 65
    More: Obvious, Kendra Hougland, St. Louis Zoo, private ownership, Pekingese  
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10561 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2013 at 4:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-29 03:29:20 PM
Another Monkey Woman in Indiana would be a pretty good band name.
 
2013-06-29 05:00:27 PM
Women should fear and worship macaque.
/fear
//worship
 
2013-06-29 05:00:41 PM
But in the end, she did take macaque pretty well.
 
2013-06-29 05:02:56 PM
Has anyone seen macaque?
 
2013-06-29 05:03:02 PM
glad to see macaque puns are going good

/macaque will fark you up
//or down, it doesn't really matter
 
2013-06-29 05:03:21 PM
Macaque has the strangest tingling sensation right now.
 
2013-06-29 05:03:28 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-29 05:05:23 PM
You never go full macaque.
 
2013-06-29 05:07:03 PM
Unpredictable? To the monkey woman, maybe. Anyone else should have known this wouldn't end well.

/I speak from personal experience. I used to eat with macaque too, and now I'm permabanned from the Olive Garden.
 
2013-06-29 05:11:15 PM

common sense is an oxymoron: Has anyone seen macaque?


...are you a member of the band King Missile?
 
2013-06-29 05:13:01 PM
You can't tame monkeys, lions or polar bears.  Ever.
 
2013-06-29 05:13:44 PM
por-img.cimcontent.net

Respect macaque.
 
2013-06-29 05:14:54 PM
The amusing thing about the headline is that the submitter has played on the word 'macaque', which sounds like 'mah cawk', a slang term for 'my penis'.

Which the submitter also plays with, though he tends to call that 'spanking his monkey'.
 
2013-06-29 05:21:58 PM
"Madison County State's Attorney Tom Gibbons..."
 
2013-06-29 05:29:47 PM
What a sucker.
 
2013-06-29 05:31:01 PM
I hate it when I ease macaque in and she says, "Tamarind yet?"
 
2013-06-29 05:32:54 PM

rewind2846: Women should fear and worship macaque.


i.imgur.com

Reason #158368393 why Google Books is awesome. Could be NSFW for some places, I suppose.

/Maybe less fear, more worship?
 
2013-06-29 05:33:40 PM
As someone who's done neuro research using Macaques as subjects, I gotta say I'm not surprised. They're vicious and unpredictable. IOW, complete dicks.
 
2013-06-29 05:34:49 PM
king kong played ping pong with his ding dong in hong kong

/monkey penis theme now completely exhausted
 
2013-06-29 05:35:50 PM
Macaque is morbidly obese!
 
2013-06-29 05:51:35 PM
There ain't nothing in Chicago for a monkey woman to do.
 
2013-06-29 05:52:42 PM
PENIS THREAD

/major obvious
 
2013-06-29 05:53:41 PM
Oh darn, macaque got loose. I will have to grab macaque and then spank macaque.
 
2013-06-29 06:18:39 PM
But we had a chamber up in the moon
Circumstances made us change our tune
When the veil was torn from our face
We became the monkeys riding the race
 
Oak
2013-06-29 06:21:39 PM
Macaque is completely reliable.  So far.

/Only 50
 
2013-06-29 06:22:15 PM
Hougland said Nina even had her own pet - a Pekingese dog named Dejah-Su - that she walked on a leash. Hougland said Nina was trying to protect the dog at the park when the boy tried to pet it.

s23.postimg.org

The monkey needs to be better mannered,
 
2013-06-29 06:29:13 PM
Chicks love macaque.
 
2013-06-29 06:37:08 PM
A pet monkey that had its own pet dog.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the monkey women.
 
2013-06-29 06:37:12 PM
Macaque runs amok!
 
2013-06-29 07:08:44 PM
 
2013-06-29 07:22:31 PM
You can't let macaque run your life.
 
2013-06-29 07:27:19 PM
Should have just chucked it into the sea.
 
2013-06-29 07:31:07 PM

common sense is an oxymoron: Has anyone seen macaque?


I think Mike Hunt has.
 
2013-06-29 07:43:59 PM
oh dear god...
 
2013-06-29 07:45:58 PM
It was actually a very gentle monkey. My fiance had met Nina a few times and often remarked about how sweet the monkey is.

The monkey's caretaker took the monkey to an event known as "Bark In The Park" where a lot of dogs were. The monkey was probably scared and bit a kid.

Also, my fiance says that the monkey liked to pull oreos apart and eat the filling...that is probably why the monkey is so fat.
 
2013-06-29 07:52:38 PM
Yeah, sorry about your Mom, Subby.

/Macaque!
 
2013-06-29 07:55:39 PM
Kill the monkey kill the dog, the lawyers will make the monkey lady wish they had killed her. So all good
 
2013-06-29 07:57:52 PM
Is the lady now angry at macaque?
 
2013-06-29 08:02:27 PM
 
2013-06-29 08:25:27 PM
And even though the kid is perfectly fine, of course the little snowflake's family is suing, because this is America.
 
2013-06-29 08:26:05 PM
Macaque was angry, foaming at the mouth, and spit in her face..
 
2013-06-29 08:32:57 PM
At least Macaque was nice and clean before getting into bed with the nice lady.
 
2013-06-29 08:39:27 PM
After he was bitten the young boy yelled " Ow macaque!"
 
2013-06-29 08:53:37 PM

carrion_luggage: I hate it when I ease macaque in and she says, "Tamarind yet?"


I see what you diddled with that.
 
2013-06-29 09:37:11 PM
Replace macaque with Pit Bull and you've got yourself a story that I'm tragically all too familiar with.

/I don't hate dogs, just the big ones that could easily kill you and have no place in houses with small children.
 
2013-06-29 09:39:02 PM

ng2810: Replace macaque with Pit Bull and you've got yourself a story that I'm tragically all too familiar with.

/I don't hate dogs, just the big ones that could easily kill you and have no place in houses with small children bad owners.


FTFY.
 
2013-06-29 10:27:32 PM

Mad_Radhu: But we had a chamber up in the moon
Circumstances made us change our tune
When the veil was torn from our face
We became the monkeys riding the race


Came for this.
 
2013-06-29 10:44:09 PM

Mad_Radhu: But we had a chamber up in the moon
Circumstances made us change our tune
When the veil was torn from our face
We became the monkeys riding the race


Is that really true, macaque?

/leaving satisfied
 
2013-06-29 10:52:59 PM
 
2013-06-29 11:00:43 PM

Tax Boy: [i.imgur.com image 500x602]


Holy crap that face is totally creepy.
 
2013-06-29 11:07:44 PM
Macaques of various types can also carry (without showing any symptoms) a specific herpes virus which is damn near 100% fatal to humans if they catch it. So this moron was potentially exposing a ton of people to a dangerous pathogen, AND (judging from the monkey's enormous gut) doing a crappy job of caring for it too. No sympathy whatsoever.
 
2013-06-29 11:47:36 PM
The most unpleasant Scottish clan shall arise again.
 
2013-06-30 01:30:45 AM

Freezingprocess: It was actually a very gentle monkey. My fiance had met Nina a few times and often remarked about how sweet the monkey is.

The monkey's caretaker took the monkey to an event known as "Bark In The Park" where a lot of dogs were. The monkey was probably scared and bit a kid.

Also, my fiance says that the monkey liked to pull oreos apart and eat the filling...that is probably why the monkey is so fat.


You think it is sweet, but it is just a matter of time until it rips someones face off.

No one should be allowed to have monkeys.
 
2013-06-30 02:08:21 AM
Besides the morbidly obese part, my favorite bit in the article was where the owner was horrified that the monkey would be put with others of her species.

More than likely, that monkey will be stoked. She can communicate and play the way she is supposed to, instead of being treated like an obese toy.
My great aunt adopted an abused conure parrot. That animal was miserable and neurotic as hell living with my aunt for years.

My mom finally convinced my aunt to give the bird up to a lady with a huge flock of conures. The bird is sooo happy now.
 
2013-06-30 02:14:45 AM
Freezingprocess:

"It was actually a very gentle monkey. My fiance had met Nina a few times and often remarked about how sweet the monkey is.

The monkey's caretaker took the monkey to an event known as "Bark In The Park" where a lot of dogs were. The monkey was probably scared and bit a kid.

Also, my fiance says that the monkey liked to pull oreos apart and eat the filling...that is probably why the monkey is so fat."

The article said that the monkey bit the boy because it was being protective of the dog.

The fact that the "caretaker" fed the monkey oreos to the point of extreme obesity shows that she was taking very poor care of the animal, let alone being so irresponsible as to bring an animal she knows that bites to a public event with a lot of animals and small children.

I have absolutely no sympathy for the woman. Besides the fact that she owned the animal illegally, she had no respect for the public to be putting people in danger by bringing it out.

Monkeys are incredibly unpredictable and dangerous animals, they are not dogs or cats.
 
2013-06-30 02:28:51 AM

Freezingprocess: It was actually a very gentle monkey. My fiance had met Nina a few times and often remarked about how sweet the monkey is.

The monkey's caretaker took the monkey to an event known as "Bark In The Park" where a lot of dogs were. The monkey was probably scared and bit a kid.

Also, my fiance says that the monkey liked to pull oreos apart and eat the filling...that is probably why the monkey is so fat.


"Madison County Assistant State's Attorney Phil Alfeld called one witness, Madison County Sheriff's Sgt. Joseph Halbrooks. He testified that Hougland told him Nina had bitten her on several previous occasions, including a few hours before the monkey bit the child in the park. "

Yup.  That monkey sounds like a peach.
 
2013-06-30 03:50:45 AM
There once was a lady in state; Who's want for macacq wouldn't wait; She let loose macacq and before she could talk; She was wrought by the wrath of primate
 
2013-06-30 07:30:49 AM
A good rule of thumb is that if anyone is keeping a big exotic pet(s) inside their house, that person is probably wacko and the animal is eventually going to become its own species again and rip their face off.
 
2013-06-30 09:03:42 AM

Medic Zero: Freezingprocess: It was actually a very gentle monkey. My fiance had met Nina a few times and often remarked about how sweet the monkey is.

The monkey's caretaker took the monkey to an event known as "Bark In The Park" where a lot of dogs were. The monkey was probably scared and bit a kid.

Also, my fiance says that the monkey liked to pull oreos apart and eat the filling...that is probably why the monkey is so fat.

You think it is sweet, but it is just a matter of time until it rips someones face off.

No one should be allowed to have monkeys.


Well, it is against the law in Illinois. And I agree.

However, this story could be painted in many different ways. This monkey wasn't a problem child. It was friendly and smart. However, its caretaker did not exercise good judgement regularly and here we are f*cking fark.
 
2013-06-30 09:09:45 AM

o'really: Freezingprocess:

"It was actually a very gentle monkey. My fiance had met Nina a few times and often remarked about how sweet the monkey is.

The monkey's caretaker took the monkey to an event known as "Bark In The Park" where a lot of dogs were. The monkey was probably scared and bit a kid.

Also, my fiance says that the monkey liked to pull oreos apart and eat the filling...that is probably why the monkey is so fat."

The article said that the monkey bit the boy because it was being protective of the dog.

The fact that the "caretaker" fed the monkey oreos to the point of extreme obesity shows that she was taking very poor care of the animal, let alone being so irresponsible as to bring an animal she knows that bites to a public event with a lot of animals and small children.

I have absolutely no sympathy for the woman. Besides the fact that she owned the animal illegally, she had no respect for the public to be putting people in danger by bringing it out.

Monkeys are incredibly unpredictable and dangerous animals, they are not dogs or cats.


No argument here other than I know from experience that Nina the monkey was normally incredibly docile and not violent at all. However, like all animals, when stressed bad behavior surfaces. And having a bad caretaker/owner invited such stress.

To clarify, I agree that monkeys should not be had as pets, but I don't think it is fair to demonize Nina. She was definitely not an evil monkey. She just wanted cookies and strolls though the local petco.
 
2013-06-30 09:47:15 AM

Freezingprocess: o'really: Freezingprocess:

"It was actually a very gentle monkey. My fiance had met Nina a few times and often remarked about how sweet the monkey is.

The monkey's caretaker took the monkey to an event known as "Bark In The Park" where a lot of dogs were. The monkey was probably scared and bit a kid.

Also, my fiance says that the monkey liked to pull oreos apart and eat the filling...that is probably why the monkey is so fat."

The article said that the monkey bit the boy because it was being protective of the dog.

The fact that the "caretaker" fed the monkey oreos to the point of extreme obesity shows that she was taking very poor care of the animal, let alone being so irresponsible as to bring an animal she knows that bites to a public event with a lot of animals and small children.

I have absolutely no sympathy for the woman. Besides the fact that she owned the animal illegally, she had no respect for the public to be putting people in danger by bringing it out.

Monkeys are incredibly unpredictable and dangerous animals, they are not dogs or cats.

No argument here other than I know from experience that Nina the monkey was normally incredibly docile and not violent at all. However, like all animals, when stressed bad behavior surfaces. And having a bad caretaker/owner invited such stress.

To clarify, I agree that monkeys should not be had as pets, but I don't think it is fair to demonize Nina. She was definitely not an evil monkey. She just wanted cookies and strolls though the local petco.


That monkey may not have been evil, but with animals like that all it takes is the right situation for them to DO something we regard as evil. That's why they shouldn't be kept as pets.

/ Not a fan of pit bulls either.
// Yes, I opened that can of worms!
 
2013-06-30 10:15:05 AM
Freezingprocess:
"No argument here other than I know from experience that Nina the monkey was normally incredibly docile and not violent at all. However, like all animals, when stressed bad behavior surfaces. And having a bad caretaker/owner invited such stress.

To clarify, I agree that monkeys should not be had as pets, but I don't think it is fair to demonize Nina. She was definitely not an evil monkey. She just wanted cookies and strolls though the local petco."

I agree, I don't hold it against the monkey. It was acting on instinct, it acted just like a monkey probably should.

It's not just monkeys, altho they are known for such things. It's any wild animal that people fool themselves into thinking are the same as domesticated species.
 
2013-06-30 10:28:34 AM
Macaca is a term used by George Allen to describe a field operative of his opponent Jim Webb during the 2006 United States Senate election in Virginia
 
2013-06-30 03:58:27 PM

jman144: There once was a lady in state; Who's want for macacq wouldn't wait; She let loose macacq and before she could talk; She was wrought by the wrath of primate


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-30 06:16:00 PM
was macaque child porn?
 
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