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(Kansas City)   "We never intended to offend anyone," says editor about cover featuring buxom Blessed Virgin Mary in bikini, sipping on margarita, and shirtless cowboy with nipple ring   (kansascity.com) divider line 95
    More: Unlikely, Blessed Virgin Mary, Holy Mother, Santa Fe Reporter  
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11854 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2013 at 5:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-29 05:19:12 PM
Awesome. Go home town alternative! I actually really like that. I'll have to have my mom pick one up for me.
 
2013-06-29 05:31:09 PM
FTFA: "Wrote another offended reader: "I am likewise speechless..."


Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/06/28/4319432/blessed-virgin-mary-in-b i kini.html#storylink=cpy
... this, of course, being a figure of speech.
 
2013-06-29 05:32:25 PM
...and isn't your stupid script a monument to cleverness!
 
2013-06-29 05:38:21 PM
If you're offended, that's your own fault, for having a distorted worldview.

/goddamn religitards
 
2013-06-29 05:38:56 PM
drwizard.files.wordpress.com

Grilled cheese Virgin Mary is not impressed.
/lol cotton balls.
 
2013-06-29 05:42:10 PM
At least they didn't have Mohammed in a bikini.

/Shiatstorm from their fanatics would be nuclear
 
2013-06-29 05:42:25 PM
This isn't offensive because the Blessed Mother should not or does not occasionally wear bikinis or sip margaritas. If she is anything like my mother, I bet she has her own daiquiri recipe and a favorite poolside chair.

This is offensive because Jesus, as our Lord and Savior, has suffered enough and should be spared images of His parents partying. We owe Him at least that very modest favor. Surely we would all, if we could, erase all traces of our parents' past lives and avoid their embarrassing tendencies, we would. Nobody who has watched their completely-lit grandmother hustle half the cute boys at school at pool to the tune of over a hundred dollars could have anything but sympathy for Jesus Christ today.
 
2013-06-29 05:44:02 PM
At least it's a virgin margarita.

/ hangs head in shame
 
2013-06-29 05:45:56 PM
"we wanted to come up with a cover design that was engaging and captured the essence of summer. We wanted something that reflected not just the diversity of activities we would recommend readers pursue this summer, but also the diversity of our city ..."

Translation:  "We was trippin' and forgot what State we're in."
 
2013-06-29 05:45:57 PM

Godscrack: [drwizard.files.wordpress.com image 500x334]

Grilled cheese Virgin Mary is not impressed.
/lol cotton balls.


Looks more like Grilled Cheese Greta Garbo to me.

i1126.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-29 05:46:57 PM
How would anyone take this to be the Virgin Mary? Was it referred to in the story? I certainly saw no reference on the cover -- just some chick in a bikini.
 
2013-06-29 05:48:24 PM
See, if it were a great big 'beach party' drawing with several other religious figures depicted and no behavior which is objectionable to any faith (no alcohol, for example,) then you could just say "We have a Unitarian on the staff," and it'd be shrugged off. Ganesha and Jesus playing beach volleyball against Krishna and Confucius, the prophet Mohammed sunning himself with his face obscured by a big umbrella and a pet cat on the towel with him, Pope John Paul II sharing sunscreen with Gandhi, the Blessed Mother and Kali handing out popsicles together...that'd be classy and kind of awesome.

Plus, you could draw a lifeguard rescuing L.Ron Hubbard in water-wings.
 
2013-06-29 05:54:18 PM

Mirandized: How would anyone take this to be the Virgin Mary? Was it referred to in the story? I certainly saw no reference on the cover -- just some chick in a bikini.


It's the blue headdress. There's a technical term for it, but I can't recall it. Tichel? Mitpachat, maybe? The coloring is also important, that blue was associated with Mary. "In paintings, Mary is traditionally portrayed in blue. This tradition can trace its origin to the Byzantine Empire, from c.500 AD, where blue was "the colour of an empress". A more practical explanation for the use of this colour is that in Medieval and Renaissance Europe, the blue pigment was derived from the rock lapis lazuli, a stone imported from Afghanistan of greater value than gold. Beyond a painter's retainer, patrons were expected to purchase any gold or lapis lazuli to be used in the painting. Hence, it was an expression of devotion and glorification to swathe the Virgin in gowns of blue."

/learned that from reading Christopher Moore.
//the man has a very strong dedication to historical mostly-accuracy, and dick jokes.
 
2013-06-29 05:55:20 PM
That cowboy with the porn 'stache and the pink hat sure does like to swing his lariat ;)
 
2013-06-29 05:55:28 PM
Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.
 
2013-06-29 05:56:07 PM

SpiderQueenDemon: See, if it were a great big 'beach party' drawing with several other religious figures depicted and no behavior which is objectionable to any faith (no alcohol, for example,) then you could just say "We have a Unitarian on the staff," and it'd be shrugged off. Ganesha and Jesus playing beach volleyball against Krishna and Confucius, the prophet Mohammed sunning himself with his face obscured by a big umbrella and a pet cat on the towel with him, Pope John Paul II sharing sunscreen with Gandhi, the Blessed Mother and Kali handing out popsicles together...that'd be classy and kind of awesome.

Plus, you could draw a lifeguard rescuing L.Ron Hubbard in water-wings.


I... if I had money, I would commission this. That is awesome.
 
2013-06-29 05:59:28 PM
static.guim.co.uk
"I'm sorry if any of you are catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're catholic"
 
2013-06-29 06:05:37 PM
Looks more like just a girl with a towel over her head.
 
2013-06-29 06:07:46 PM

Tyrone Slothrop: Looks more like just a girl with a towel over her head.


You're obviously a heathen who doesn't know Christ or his mom.
 
2013-06-29 06:09:10 PM
www.zoneshot.com
 
2013-06-29 06:15:08 PM

BarkingUnicorn: [www.zoneshot.com image 515x320]


Okay, wearing that to the Vatican is officially on the list for the Offensive T-shirt World Tour, should I discover I have but months to live.
 
2013-06-29 06:16:36 PM
Whoa, Jesus. Your Mom is like totally hot.

/Hardly what I'd call "buxom" but then I've been spoiled by all those Russ Meyers movies.

Turning The Virgin Mary into Stiffler's Mom on vacay was "not intended" to offend?

Go on pull the other one it's got bells on.

Ordinarily, I'm not a fan of non apology apologies but in this case I'mma make an exception cos it's lulzy.

/Extra point for pierced nipple cowboy.
 
2013-06-29 06:18:42 PM
Yeah, you did.

You might as well own it. Whether it is or is not offensive is open to debate; but you were totally hoping SOMEONE would be offended. Otherwise, why do it?
 
2013-06-29 06:24:30 PM
....weirdest sacrilegious boner...
 
2013-06-29 06:24:56 PM

Gyrfalcon: Yeah, you did.

You might as well own it. Whether it is or is not offensive is open to debate; but you were totally hoping SOMEONE would be offended. Otherwise, why do it?


Cause it's funny?
 
2013-06-29 06:29:02 PM
I'll try to be offended later. Maybe tomorrow.
 
2013-06-29 06:31:40 PM
And not a single riot was held that day.
 
2013-06-29 06:32:41 PM

BarkingUnicorn: [www.zoneshot.com image 515x320]


I'm giving the old G man upstairs a bro fist when I die.
 
2013-06-29 06:33:27 PM
That Virgin of Guadalupe is the New World version of the Zaragoza, Spain version, also known as the Virgin of Guadalupe.

Nothing controversial, just political, like the Spanish Inquisition. The New World one was to convert Indians, the old world to convert Moors.

But wait, it gets better. Her buddy, Santiago was also known as Matamoros (kill the Moors) in the old world and Mataindios (kill the indians) in the new world.

That is offensive.
 
2013-06-29 06:48:25 PM

A Terrible Human: Gyrfalcon: Yeah, you did.

You might as well own it. Whether it is or is not offensive is open to debate; but you were totally hoping SOMEONE would be offended. Otherwise, why do it?

Cause it's funny?


Things are funny because they are offensive. (Not an original thought with me, btw)

So: You do things like this because you know they are funny/offensive to someone because that's what makes them funny. If it wasn't offensive, it wouldn't also be funny--it would be boring. And nobody would laugh.
 
2013-06-29 06:49:50 PM
Hahahahahahahahahahaha, oh what a bunch of church chickens.  Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck...
 
2013-06-29 06:53:46 PM

TheDumbBlonde: And not a single riot was held that day.


You sound disappointed.
 
2013-06-29 06:55:27 PM
AAAAAAAA THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY. raaaaaaaaa
 
2013-06-29 06:56:08 PM

Mirandized: How would anyone take this to be the Virgin Mary? Was it referred to in the story? I certainly saw no reference on the cover -- just some chick in a bikini.


The Virgin Mary has been seen in grilled cheese sammiches and buckets of pizza sauce.  You just gotta have faith and your eyes will open.
 
2013-06-29 06:59:48 PM
media.kansascity.com
Why does anyone think this is the Virgin Mary? Is the kid with the ice cream cone Jesus?
 
2013-06-29 07:02:24 PM

Gyrfalcon: A Terrible Human: Gyrfalcon: Yeah, you did.

You might as well own it. Whether it is or is not offensive is open to debate; but you were totally hoping SOMEONE would be offended. Otherwise, why do it?

Cause it's funny?

Things are funny because they are offensive. (Not an original thought with me, btw)

So: You do things like this because you know they are funny/offensive to someone because that's what makes them funny. If it wasn't offensive, it wouldn't also be funny--it would be boring. And nobody would laugh.


Being offended is tragic for the person offended.  All comedy is tragedy that happens to someone else.  Hence this symbol of theater:

www.northleedslifegroup.com
 
2013-06-29 07:04:52 PM

Arthur Jumbles: [media.kansascity.com image 430x550]
Why does anyone think this is the Virgin Mary? Is the kid with the ice cream cone Jesus?


0/10  Nobody in the Western world is so unfamiliar with Catholic iconography.
 
2013-06-29 07:05:04 PM

Arachnophobe: Mirandized: How would anyone take this to be the Virgin Mary? Was it referred to in the story? I certainly saw no reference on the cover -- just some chick in a bikini.

It's the blue headdress. There's a technical term for it, but I can't recall it. Tichel? Mitpachat, maybe? The coloring is also important, that blue was associated with Mary. "In paintings, Mary is traditionally portrayed in blue. This tradition can trace its origin to the Byzantine Empire, from c.500 AD, where blue was "the colour of an empress". A more practical explanation for the use of this colour is that in Medieval and Renaissance Europe, the blue pigment was derived from the rock lapis lazuli, a stone imported from Afghanistan of greater value than gold. Beyond a painter's retainer, patrons were expected to purchase any gold or lapis lazuli to be used in the painting. Hence, it was an expression of devotion and glorification to swathe the Virgin in gowns of blue."

/learned that from reading Christopher Moore.
//the man has a very strong dedication to historical mostly-accuracy, and dick jokes.


Yeah, except now my bath towels are blue because they're made with modern dye and blue is just a color.  My first thought on seeing that was a chick in a bikini with a blue sun cape hoody thing.  Even knowing what it was supposed to be, I still didn't go to Mary.  Now, if they'd done a pieta with an empty tequila bottle that would have been cool and I've have gotten it.
 
2013-06-29 07:10:40 PM
In fact, the more I look, the more I see Botticelli's Venus instead of anyone's Mary.
 
2013-06-29 07:14:22 PM

phillydrifter: If you're offended, that's your own fault, for having a distorted worldview.

/goddamn religitards

 
2013-06-29 07:19:25 PM

Arachnophobe: Mirandized: How would anyone take this to be the Virgin Mary? Was it referred to in the story? I certainly saw no reference on the cover -- just some chick in a bikini.

It's the blue headdress. There's a technical term for it, but I can't recall it. Tichel? Mitpachat, maybe? The coloring is also important, that blue was associated with Mary. "In paintings, Mary is traditionally portrayed in blue. This tradition can trace its origin to the Byzantine Empire, from c.500 AD, where blue was "the colour of an empress". A more practical explanation for the use of this colour is that in Medieval and Renaissance Europe, the blue pigment was derived from the rock lapis lazuli, a stone imported from Afghanistan of greater value than gold. Beyond a painter's retainer, patrons were expected to purchase any gold or lapis lazuli to be used in the painting. Hence, it was an expression of devotion and glorification to swathe the Virgin in gowns of blue."

/learned that from reading Christopher Moore.
//the man has a very strong dedication to historical mostly-accuracy, and dick jokes.


Lamb is an awesome book and more people should read it.
 
2013-06-29 07:22:29 PM
I read elsewhere that somebody is planning a new, unauthorized, cover for their next issue featuring the "bomb-turban" Mohammed in a Speedo holding a bong, with the names of the staff members.

You know, so they can show they are equal opportunity iconoclasts to Muslims as well.  Though, of course, not intended to offend anyone.
 
2013-06-29 07:32:26 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Arthur Jumbles: [media.kansascity.com image 430x550]
Why does anyone think this is the Virgin Mary? Is the kid with the ice cream cone Jesus?

0/10  Nobody in the Western world is so unfamiliar with Catholic iconography.


www.theworkofgod.org
You're right, the similarity is shocking!
 
2013-06-29 07:33:33 PM

phillydrifter: If you're offended, that's your own fault, for having a distorted worldview.


Same goes for people offended by Obama witch doctor cartoons?

The world is not your worldview.
 
2013-06-29 07:37:47 PM
to say that's the virgin mary is a stretch at best .
 
2013-06-29 07:40:22 PM

Arthur Jumbles: BarkingUnicorn: Arthur Jumbles: [media.kansascity.com image 430x550]
Why does anyone think this is the Virgin Mary? Is the kid with the ice cream cone Jesus?

0/10  Nobody in the Western world is so unfamiliar with Catholic iconography.

[www.theworkofgod.org image 278x368]
You're right, the similarity is shocking!


New Mexicans prefer the VM of Guadalupe

www.scborromeo.orgmedia.kansascity.com

Blue cloak - check
Radiant aura - check
Standing on crescent moon - check
 
2013-06-29 07:43:03 PM
t3.gstatic.com

t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-29 07:45:12 PM

Arthur Jumbles: BarkingUnicorn: Arthur Jumbles: [media.kansascity.com image 430x550]
Why does anyone think this is the Virgin Mary? Is the kid with the ice cream cone Jesus?

0/10  Nobody in the Western world is so unfamiliar with Catholic iconography.

[www.theworkofgod.org image 278x368]
You're right, the similarity is shocking!


img1.loadtr.com
There you go.
 
2013-06-29 07:51:03 PM
For those who know nothing of Mexican culture:

The Lady of Guadalupe is a tangible icon of purportedly miraculous origin, similar to the Shroud of Turin.  It is highly revered among Mexican Catholics, and there are quite of those in New Mexico.

The Santa Fe Reporter's "creative" staff and editor surely knew this.  Running that cover was a dick move, and they deserve all the Internet hate that they get.
 
2013-06-29 07:56:38 PM
New Mexico natives and the Catholic Church have always had a somewhat troubled relationship.
peabody.harvard.edu
 
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