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(Huffington Post)   Seeking some attention, producers of "Dancing with the Stars" again ask Paula Deen to dance for their show and repair her public reputation, following in august footsteps of Kate Gosselin and Bristol Palin   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 33
    More: Silly, Kate Gosselin, Paula Deen, Paula Abdul, Bristol Palin, rumors, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, QVC  
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583 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Jun 2013 at 6:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-29 05:52:16 PM
I'll bet she starts sweating beads of pure butter after the first three steps.
 
2013-06-29 06:26:02 PM
Butter.
That's the joke.
 
2013-06-29 06:34:05 PM
Paying the insurance rider would bankrupt the universe
 
2013-06-29 06:39:47 PM
Don't forget Nancy Grace on that list of luminaries.
 
2013-06-29 06:45:50 PM

FriarReb98: Don't forget Nancy Grace on that list of luminaries.


Tot Mom Drink!

banter.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-06-29 07:10:56 PM
And the same slack-jawed yokels who flocked to Chick-fil-A to eat shiatty chicken sandwiches after the libs said mean things about them will tune in.

/yes, I said Chick-fil-a is shiatty
//because it is
///and i'd say the same thing if they were run by gay atheist liberals
///the chicken would still be shiatty
 
2013-06-29 07:25:42 PM
Aren't these the same people that got Scooter Libby on? Or was that somebody else?
 
2013-06-29 07:26:30 PM
No one wants to see those hams bounce and roll.
 
2013-06-29 07:41:09 PM
Dear Mrs. Hermann Göring,

Our producers at "Dancing With The Stars" would like to cordially extend an invitation to join our next season as a contestant. We realize that, given the recent controversy surrounding your current and past biases and behavior, your skills as a dancer may be of value to you - your rumored waltzing at the Ritz was the stuff of legend, and we believe that a legend can rise again, like the South, to prominence.

We also realize that you have declined our invitation in the past, but we believe that your fans fit our desired master demographic nicely. Therefore, if this final solution to both your dwindling income opportunities and our dwindling ratings meets with your approval, have your agent contact our producers and we'll be happy to see you on the next train.

Sincerely,
  ABC Entertainment
 
2013-06-29 07:50:45 PM
Let me guess the routine...

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-29 08:02:32 PM
Invite that Nazi-flag-flying Obama protestor from the Politics-tab story, too, why don't you?  He totally means well, he doesn't understand why people are all up in his grill. It's just an anti-Obama flag, can't you see? Nothing to do with Jews.

And what about those Al-Qaeda plotters we have in custody? They could use some rehabilitation of their image. If ANYONE needs an image rehab, it's the people who conspired to murder thousands of innocent Americans. Please, won't anyone think of the al-Qaeda terrorists?
 
2013-06-29 08:14:27 PM

lack of warmth: No one wants to see those hams bounce and roll.


True for everywhere in the world but Fark. Here there'd be a dozen "I'd hit it" type comments within five minutes of the show's airing.
 
2013-06-29 08:51:26 PM
media.salon.com
"That's a great idea!  We'll have a routine that's a throwback to the good old days...neeegrows in tuxedos and tap shoes, dancing to Al Jolson's "Mammy"....
 
2013-06-29 09:02:22 PM

FriarReb98: Don't forget Nancy Grace on that list of luminaries.


So, you are saying a chance of Paula Deen nip slip?
 
2013-06-29 09:09:49 PM

big-southern: I will never understand why Jewish people in this country even consider voting for liberals


Pretty sure that the list of "Things BS will never understand" is a really, really, really long list.

The list of "Things BS actually understands" OTOH could probably fit on a Post-It note with room left over for a haiku.

Hunch thingy.

I would ask at some point what your non sequitar/rant there has to do with Paula Deen potentially going on DWTS. Pretty sure she's not Jewish. In fact last I heard she was on some radio show complaining how the "Jew executives" over at TFN abandoned her in her hour of need.

/Protip to Paula Deen: Damage Control: [youredoingitwrong].

Anyhoo, I said "would" because I'm not actually asking you any of that because I'm pretty sure that any response you formulated would be a complete and utter waste of bandwidth for me or anyone to read and honestly, life's too short as it is.
 
2013-06-29 09:15:00 PM
Just partner her with a black dancer and I'm there.
 
2013-06-29 09:18:42 PM

Rip Dashrock: FriarReb98: Don't forget Nancy Grace on that list of luminaries.

So, you are saying a chance of Paula Deen nip slip?


Oh god I think I'm gonna be ILL at the thought...
 
2013-06-29 09:28:29 PM

jake_lex: And the same slack-jawed yokels who flocked to Chick-fil-A to eat shiatty chicken sandwiches after the libs said mean things about them will tune in.

/yes, I said Chick-fil-a is shiatty
//because it is
///and i'd say the same thing if they were run by gay atheist liberals
///the chicken would still be shiatty


But their chicken sandwich....

It may be shiatty. But it's the best shiatty chicken sandwich out of all the shiatty fast food chicken sandwiches out there.

/pickle, mayo, shiatty chicken, shiatty bun. mmmmmmm
//I'd probably sound a lot fatter, fortunately the nearest one is a couple hundred miles away
 
2013-06-29 09:35:47 PM

Rip Dashrock: FriarReb98: Don't forget Nancy Grace on that list of luminaries.

So, you are saying a chance of Paula Deen nip slip?


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-29 10:28:55 PM
She's gonna do a non-rasicist break dance.
/Break her hip.
 
2013-06-29 11:21:15 PM

mrlewish: Just partner her with a black dancer and I'm there.


Awkward... DWTS doesn't have male black dancers who partner with the 'stars', IIRC.

/ Shamed to admit I ever watched that show.
 
2013-06-30 12:09:44 AM
HEY Y'ALL!

Today I am gon' be dancin' with the stars and I tell you I have not be'n this excited since I discovered salted butter! I met a guest choreographer today, a young man called usher. He was a delight, and I jus' wanna say I am SO proud that he takes time to choreograph as well as work at the local theater checking tickets. He's really raised his station in lyfe!

This week mah partner and I are gon' be dancin' to "Ooo eee ooo aa aa ting tang walla walla bing bang" because I want to show America that I appreciate black culture. It's a song about a witch doctor, now this is a man of very high standin' in their community, and I just think that's SO great.
 
2013-06-30 12:57:18 AM
An old white woman from the south used the N-word?

Knock me over with a feather!
 
2013-06-30 01:09:27 AM

quatchi: I would ask at some point what your non sequitar/rant there has to do with Paula Deen potentially going on DWTS. Pretty sure she's not Jewish. In fact last I heard she was on some radio show complaining how the "Jew executives" over at TFN abandoned her in her hour of need.

/Protip to Paula Deen: Damage Control: [youredoingitwrong].


That originated from The Daily Current, a satire site.
 
2013-06-30 01:18:09 AM

DeaH: That originated from The Daily Current, a satire site.


*facepalm*

Well, they got me.

It's just so hard to tell these days.
 
2013-06-30 12:25:53 PM

quatchi: The list of "Things BS actually understands" OTOH could probably fit on a Post-It note with room left over for a haiku.


If you're gonna write that note, you might as well give most of the alphabet a vacation.
 
2013-06-30 04:50:46 PM

jake_lex: And the same slack-jawed yokels who flocked to Chick-fil-A to eat shiatty chicken sandwiches after the libs said mean things about them will tune in.

/yes, I said Chick-fil-a is shiatty
//because it is
///and i'd say the same thing if they were run by gay atheist liberals
///the chicken would still be shiatty


YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
 
2013-06-30 05:32:33 PM

WizardofToast: Aren't these the same people that got Scooter Libby on? Or was that somebody else?


You're thinking of Tom Delay.
 
2013-06-30 07:22:57 PM

Rip Dashrock: FriarReb98: Don't forget Nancy Grace on that list of luminaries.

So, you are saying a chance of Paula Deen nip slip?


Only if she breaks her belt buckle.
 
2013-06-30 10:14:03 PM
Tap dance routine, I assume.

On the Goo' Ship Lollipop

I've thrown away my toys,
Even my drums and trains,
I want to make some noise,
With real live airplanes.
Some day I'm going to fly,
I'll be a pilot to,
And when I do,
How would you,
Like to be my crew?

On the good ship
Lollipop
Its a sweet trip
To the candy shop
Where bon-bon's play,
On the sunny beach
Of peppermint bay
Lemonade stands,
Everywhere
Crackerjack bands,
Fill the air,
And there you are,
Happy landings on a chocolate bar.
See the sugar bowl
Do a tootsie roll
In a big bad devils food cake,
If you eat too much,
Oh, oh,
You'll awake,
With a tummy ache.

On the good ship
Lollipop
Its a nice trip,
In to bed you hop,
And dream away,
On the good ship
Lollipop

http://licensing.lyrics007.com/info.php?id=2954539&referer=0">Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., EMI Music Publishing
Lyrics007 gets licensed to display lyrics and pay the lyrics writers through LyricFind. The most of song titles are calibrated according to wikipedia ©COPYRIGHT 2012, LY

Animal Crackers in My Soup then?
 
2013-06-30 10:14:38 PM
Laugh you son-of-a-gun.
 
2013-06-30 10:36:01 PM
But seriously, I think she's suffered enough for being a Southern dipstick 30 years ago and being dumb enough to admit it to the media and public today, which loves nothing better than to tear down old idols and discard them like used tubes of KY Jelly at a Rick Santorum cluster-fark*.

They've stripped her like a cheap whore at a Puritan hate-fest and have done everything but brand her with a giant Scarlett Letter. Sad thing is that her business lines were supporting a lot of people. A lot of black people, or so I hear.

And it was Chris Rock's Mother who made the distinction between Good Black Folks and N-word Black Folks thirty years ago.

Why can't this pastry-faced loon say what Chris Rock's Mother says and what he repeats and what black and white audiences laugh at?

I know. Scott Adams** has already defended her. He's now a racist as well as woman-hater and a creationist-atheist (those are the worst kind). Surprisingly he hasn't been attacked yet. I guess it takes a while for the web to spread news to the type of people who will call you a Creationist for playing the Devil's Advocate.

I mock her with love and understanding and vague annoyance.

If I were a hater I have another Shirley Temple song up my sleeve:

The World Owes Me a Living.

Now that's wicked.

Seriously, it's on the Little Miss Wonderful track list at No. 23, just before Dixie-Abba.

And there's a scary name for a band.

Their musique guimauve would be like drowning in sugar, fat and butter all at once. Dixie-Abba. Perfect! Pink-sugar icing made with pork lard***.
--------------------------------------------------------------------- - --------------------------

*Rick Santorum Cluster-Fark.
Rick Santorum Cluster-Fark.
Rick Santorum Cluster-Fark.

Are we having fun yet?

**DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A SCOT ADAMS ALT.

I mean, I'd know if I were, wouldn't I? Dilbert isn't The Matrix, or anything, although I did enjoy the SF elements in the television cartoon series, which I watch every few years in my DVD rotation.

***God, Shirley Temple was annoying. That scene where Homer is King Homer and eats her is one of my all time fav Simpsons clip. It's the little tiny slipper falling which makes it.
 
2013-06-30 10:37:37 PM
I AM NOT A SCOT ADAMS ALT.

Can I get that on a t-shirt, please?
 
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