If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   Sure it's discriminatory to hire only hot, skinny, nubile women as flight attendants. Sure it may have been previously found illegal. But it saves fuel, dammit. So bring the hot flight attendants back   (edition.cnn.com) divider line 154
    More: Amusing, The Times of India, airlines  
•       •       •

12506 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2013 at 1:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



154 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-29 02:00:46 PM  

qualtrough: the feelings of extreme bitterness that a lot of Western flight attendants seem to have.


This. What is that stuff? Why are they all like that?

"Yes lady, obviously I should've known you were talking to me. Even  though my head was turned talking to someone else at the time. And yes it's all my fault. I'm wasting your time. You could've been whole inches (!!) further down this flying cattle car if I'd just told you whether I wanted a 2 cubic inch diet sugar free caffeine free peach watermelon Pepsi or not."
 
2013-06-29 02:02:43 PM  

LewDux: Quick, somebody depress gimmegimme


Don't worry; the blue-eyed, blond stewardesses a few posts up certainly brightened my day!
 
2013-06-29 02:06:48 PM  

Jacob_Roberson: qualtrough: the feelings of extreme bitterness that a lot of Western flight attendants seem to have.

This. What is that stuff? Why are they all like that?

"Yes lady, obviously I should've known you were talking to me. Even  though my head was turned talking to someone else at the time. And yes it's all my fault. I'm wasting your time. You could've been whole inches (!!) further down this flying cattle car if I'd just told you whether I wanted a 2 cubic inch diet sugar free caffeine free peach watermelon Pepsi or not."


Next time someone suggests that tipping should be outlawed, tell them this story. This is what happens when servers (yes, that's what they are, folks) no longer need to work for tips.
 
2013-06-29 02:07:16 PM  
I can't stand sky biatches, so they may as well be pretty. Hire them young and perky, fire them when they get old and bitter.
 
2013-06-29 02:07:27 PM  

Kyosuke: Jacob_Roberson: qualtrough: the feelings of extreme bitterness that a lot of Western flight attendants seem to have.

This. What is that stuff? Why are they all like that?

"Yes lady, obviously I should've known you were talking to me. Even  though my head was turned talking to someone else at the time. And yes it's all my fault. I'm wasting your time. You could've been whole inches (!!) further down this flying cattle car if I'd just told you whether I wanted a 2 cubic inch diet sugar free caffeine free peach watermelon Pepsi or not."

Next time someone suggests that tipping should be outlawed, tell them this story. This is what happens when servers (yes, that's what they are, folks) no longer need to work for tips.


That and they're protected by the unions.
 
2013-06-29 02:09:24 PM  

Pumpernickel bread: I didn't know "fat" was a proteced class. I always thought they were the last group left that we could openly mock with impunity


Where have you been?  It is now considered a disease...

"I am not diseased!  I am big-boned!"
 
2013-06-29 02:13:33 PM  
Gah, give me a cute chipper flight attendant any day over the evil cranks that pass for FA nowadays. I've had run ins with rude FAs and they're Napoleans with wormwood and estrogen. No, chicken, you are not my boss for the duration of the flight. Give me my soda and GTF away.
 
2013-06-29 02:15:30 PM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Gah, give me a cute chipper flight attendant any day over the evil cranks that pass for FA nowadays. I've had run ins with rude FAs and they're Napoleans with wormwood and estrogen. No, chicken, you are not my boss for the duration of the flight. Give me my soda and GTF away.


Stewardesses are really safety compliance professionals.  They are there to enforce the FAA regulations that keep you safe.  For example, if you have your Kindle on during takeoff, you could easily take control of the plane.  If the plane takes a nosedive at 500 miles an hour, the stewardess' reminder to get into crash position could save your life.
 
2013-06-29 02:15:56 PM  

desertfool: Then there was an airline in Vietnam where the flight attendants had an impromptu bikini fashion show on a flight:


Please don't do that on Air Canada.
 
2013-06-29 02:20:09 PM  

serial_crusher: It also saves money because you only have to pay them 78% of what you pay male skywaitresses.


Women provide less than 78% of the value that men do, once you take into account the massive disruption caused by pregnancy and maternity leave.
 
2013-06-29 02:20:56 PM  

gimmegimme: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Gah, give me a cute chipper flight attendant any day over the evil cranks that pass for FA nowadays. I've had run ins with rude FAs and they're Napoleans with wormwood and estrogen. No, chicken, you are not my boss for the duration of the flight. Give me my soda and GTF away.

Stewardesses are really safety compliance professionals.  They are there to enforce the FAA regulations that keep you safe.  For example, if you have your Kindle on during takeoff, you could easily take control of the plane.  If the plane takes a nosedive at 500 miles an hour, the stewardess' reminder to get into crash position could save your life.


I hollowed out a space in a hardback book to slip my kindle into. Read it throughout the flight with skybiatches none the wiser.
 
2013-06-29 02:22:08 PM  

JesusJuice: gimmegimme: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Gah, give me a cute chipper flight attendant any day over the evil cranks that pass for FA nowadays. I've had run ins with rude FAs and they're Napoleans with wormwood and estrogen. No, chicken, you are not my boss for the duration of the flight. Give me my soda and GTF away.

Stewardesses are really safety compliance professionals.  They are there to enforce the FAA regulations that keep you safe.  For example, if you have your Kindle on during takeoff, you could easily take control of the plane.  If the plane takes a nosedive at 500 miles an hour, the stewardess' reminder to get into crash position could save your life.

I hollowed out a space in a hardback book to slip my kindle into. Read it throughout the flight with skybiatches none the wiser.


Pro tip!  Thanks
 
2013-06-29 02:22:43 PM  

FarkinHostile: Flight attendant school was crazy for a single straight dude.


*golf clap*
 
2013-06-29 02:23:08 PM  
According to some internet guy's napkin math, each nine pounds of extra weight on a thousand mile flight requires one more pound of gas to fly. Godspeed bikini airlines. Reach for that bottom line.
 
2013-06-29 02:25:08 PM  

pxlboy: titwrench: Is this the thread where we discuss the fact that ground waitresses make less than minimum wage and rely on tips to survive but sky waitresses make a shiat ton more money no matter how bad they are at their job?

It could be, or we just just post pictures.


I like your idea better.
 
2013-06-29 02:27:19 PM  

powhound: Bras are quite heavy as well. Just think of all that additional savings that could be heaped into the corporate cookie jar!


Charles_Nelson_Reilly: The uniforms they're wearing in the article's pic negate the advantages that are gained in recruiting.


I am beginning to envision a solution that combines the best of both observations: naked flight attendants!  It's obvious, when you think about it.
 
2013-06-29 02:31:16 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: The first airline to go All-Midget Flight Crew will soar to profitability heretofore unimagined.


Nah, child labor.

/Stop hiring twentysix year olds
//And hire twenty six-year olds
 
2013-06-29 02:31:31 PM  

FloydA: powhound: Bras are quite heavy as well. Just think of all that additional savings that could be heaped into the corporate cookie jar!

Charles_Nelson_Reilly: The uniforms they're wearing in the article's pic negate the advantages that are gained in recruiting.

I am beginning to envision a solution that combines the best of both observations: naked flight attendants!  It's obvious, when you think about it.

Not if you have the aisle seat on AA...think about it...
 
2013-06-29 02:33:40 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Yeah, I'm just posting here so I can come back later to lots and lots of pics of hot flight attendants.


Seconded.
 
2013-06-29 02:36:24 PM  

Kyosuke: Next time someone suggests that tipping should be outlawed, tell them this story.


You first.
 
2013-06-29 02:38:55 PM  
What's this $7 excess weight flight attendant fee?
 
2013-06-29 02:42:35 PM  
content.deltas.com.au
Bring on the sexy stews, man. Yeah!
 
2013-06-29 02:44:22 PM  

TheMaskedArmadillo: FloydA: powhound: Bras are quite heavy as well. Just think of all that additional savings that could be heaped into the corporate cookie jar!

Charles_Nelson_Reilly: The uniforms they're wearing in the article's pic negate the advantages that are gained in recruiting.

I am beginning to envision a solution that combines the best of both observations: naked flight attendants!  It's obvious, when you think about it.

Not if you have the aisle seat on AA...think about it...


Meh, I never go to those meetings anyway, no matter what my parole officer says.
 
2013-06-29 02:46:54 PM  

Dear Jerk: What's this $7 excess weight flight attendant fee?


If it was on Spirit it would be about $30. Their next fee is the co-pilot fee.
 
2013-06-29 02:49:39 PM  
There have been numerous court rulings that support bona fide occupational qualifications, or BFOQs.  Meaning that you cannot be sued for turning down the job application from a blind person to be, let's say - a commercial airline pilot.

/I hereby swear (or attest) that this is not a bookmark
 
2013-06-29 02:50:57 PM  

sdd2000: Dear Jerk: What's this $7 excess weight flight attendant fee?

If it was on Spirit it would be about $30. Their next fee is the co-pilot fee.


They waive that if you can prove at least 30 hours of time on Microsoft Flight Simulator.
 
2013-06-29 02:52:03 PM  
i162.photobucket.com

Smoking is NOT allowed on any Delta flight!
 
2013-06-29 02:53:06 PM  

Pumpernickel bread: I didn't know "fat" was a proteced class. I always thought they were the last group left that we could openly mock with impunity


I don't want to accuse you of preferring rocks to live under, but you surely must have noted that people lighter than normal are the group to openly mock and criticise these days (while "normal" would have been "slightly overweight" two decades ago).
 
2013-06-29 03:01:24 PM  

grokca: desertfool: Then there was an airline in Vietnam where the flight attendants had an impromptu bikini fashion show on a flight:

Please don't do that on Air Canada.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-29 03:03:59 PM  
LAN and Avianca usually have stunning stewardesses.

I had a part time gig in Colombia teaching basic english at a stewardess school, til the wife put the kaibosh on that.
 
2013-06-29 03:12:26 PM  
SoupJohnB: There have been numerous court rulings that support bona fide occupational qualifications, or BFOQs.  Meaning that you cannot be sued for turning down the job application from a blind person to be, let's say - a commercial airline pilot.

Doesn't really apply when the Federal Government gets to do the discrimination before the employer gets to it. Flight physicals can be a biatch if you've got any condition out of the ordinary. The pilots unions have enough sway to get the FAA to  bend the rules research and waiver things that tend to affect 40% of middle aged white guys, but anything outside that can be grounding in a heartbeat.

They don't generally give Class I medicals to blind guys.
 
2013-06-29 03:16:43 PM  
To be honest, the only crew I care about are the pilots and the mechanics.
 
2013-06-29 03:18:16 PM  

theflatline: LAN and Avianca usually have stunning stewardesses.


i105.photobucket.com
What a stunning stewardess might look like.
 
2013-06-29 03:19:34 PM  

Warlordtrooper: The difference in fuel cost between a heavy person and a light person is to insignificant to be measurable.


Perhaps on an individual basis but  measured over  a large number of sky-waitresses over a large number flights and the fuel use and corresponding environmental impact would be great.

We need to encourage this for the environment
 
2013-06-29 03:26:35 PM  
I wonder how much they'd save by getting rid of fat passengers.
 
2013-06-29 03:28:09 PM  
Fly southwest, where you will get some haggard chain smoking bull dyke going through menopause whose hips are so large she has to turn sideways to get through the aisle.
 
2013-06-29 03:30:32 PM  
Southwest used to do it right:

static.ddmcdn.com
 
2013-06-29 03:30:34 PM  
Almost all of the passport control staff at Ben Gurion airport are young Israeli women.
 
2013-06-29 03:31:20 PM  

mikaloyd: Why are sexy flight attendants a bad thing?


They make some of  the male (and female) passengers breathe too hard. Air also has weight. In fact, the air in an airplane might weigh more than the flight attendants.

They're breathing our air!
 
2013-06-29 03:32:41 PM  
www.theblindcard.com

Achieving a Goal ..

 
2013-06-29 03:35:38 PM  

jake3988: 10-20 pounds skinnier than normal times 5 is like a grand total of 100 pounds. Compared to the weight of the whole plane that's what... 8 cents worth of gas they'll save?


Yup, over dozens of planes and over entire year it adds up a lot. Roughly half a million dollars according to tfa.
 
2013-06-29 03:36:07 PM  
No farking shiat!? When did stewardesses stop being hot chicks (even if some of them were getting a little long in the tooth, they still held themselves together with a good old-fashioned calorie-restricted diet, Virginia Slims and Jazzercise) and turn into a bunch of lunch-ladies and balding gay dudes? I'm 40 on the dot, but I swear when I was a kid the air waitresses were all fairly attractive, skinny women. Seriously. What. The. Fark. Fewer Bruce's and Helgas, and more Bunnys and Heathers please.
 
2013-06-29 03:39:35 PM  

JesusJuice: gimmegimme: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Gah, give me a cute chipper flight attendant any day over the evil cranks that pass for FA nowadays. I've had run ins with rude FAs and they're Napoleans with wormwood and estrogen. No, chicken, you are not my boss for the duration of the flight. Give me my soda and GTF away.

Stewardesses are really safety compliance professionals.  They are there to enforce the FAA regulations that keep you safe.  For example, if you have your Kindle on during takeoff, you could easily take control of the plane.  If the plane takes a nosedive at 500 miles an hour, the stewardess' reminder to get into crash position could save your life.

I hollowed out a space in a hardback book to slip my kindle into. Read it throughout the flight with skybiatches none the wiser.




corthodoxy.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-29 03:43:25 PM  
I am going to go ahead and say that there is a useful purpose for thin flight attendants.  There's not a whole lot of extra space on the aisles of a plane to start with.
 
2013-06-29 03:44:18 PM  
Do you guys think maybe some day we'll become mature and competent enough to fetch our own drinks, tell ourselves it's time to turn off the approved portable electronic devices in preparation for landing?
 
2013-06-29 03:46:16 PM  

TommyDeuce: Mr. Coffee Nerves: The first airline to go All-Midget Flight Crew will soar to profitability heretofore unimagined.

Nah, child labor.

/Stop hiring twentysix year olds
//And hire twenty six-year olds


They can't reach the over head bins.

I thought of little people and child labour instantly, because I understand the economics and the airline mentality, but sadly, they are disqualfied because they are too short and often have breathing problems due to their internal organs being packed too tight, etc.

No, here's what you need"

1. Really skinny women who can:

a) maintain control of an airplane full of misbehaving British soccer hooligans;
b) carry and lift ten times their weight;
c) keep people in their seats even when the airplane is flying upside down through major turbulence
d) serve food and drinks to 700 people in 7 minutes.

In as few words as possible: little Chinese grandmothers.

They still can't reach the overhead bins, but they'll climb and stand on your head if necessary. That'll teach you to carry on bags that should be checked through. You'll have to fight them for you bags if you want to put them in the bin yourself to prevent damage.

When airlines have the steel balls to hire little Chinese grandmothers, nobody will be able to understand the sky waitress safety instructions, so we will all be equally sky cattle.

Of course the party will still be in First Class general seating and the First Class private cabins. And there will be a lot fewer Chinese restaurants. I assume the Lebanese and Pakistanis will complete their take-over of these.
 
2013-06-29 03:47:32 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I've never encountered one of these mythical hot stewardesses. Just middle aged gay dudes and frumpy women.


Let me introduce you to the magical, mystical land of "Asia".
My Chicago-Hong Kong flight yesterday on Cathay Pacific was...nice. God damn.

My wife works for Cathay. I went to her interview in Bangkok when she was trying out.
600 Thai girls. Six were chosen.
Just imagine the scene at the hotel lobby where the interviews were taking place.

One of my fondest memories.
 
2013-06-29 03:47:38 PM  

Scaevola: Almost all of the passport control staff at Ben Gurion airport are young Israeli women.


With machine guns?
 
2013-06-29 03:48:58 PM  

serial_crusher: Do you guys think maybe some day we'll become mature and competent enough to fetch our own drinks, tell ourselves it's time to turn off the approved portable electronic devices in preparation for landing?


If we did, libertarianism would have already worked.
 
2013-06-29 03:50:39 PM  
You need a good dose of cynicism to fly nowadays. Plus some extra cynicism to keep your reserves from running low.

You'll know when you've got enough: you'll stay on the ground.
 
Displayed 50 of 154 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report