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(New Jersey 101.5)   Detective: CSI is ruining our jury members because they're asking for crazy technology that doesn't exist   (nj1015.com) divider line 162
    More: Obvious, CSI, New Jersey  
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8302 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jun 2013 at 11:33 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-28 09:42:43 AM
Next thing you know is that doctors won't be able to tell testicular injury without watching Ow! My Balls first
 
2013-06-28 10:16:57 AM
Haven't lawyers and judges been saying this for a while now?

People on juries keep asking for types of evidence not relevant to the case (DNA testing) for example.
 
2013-06-28 10:23:52 AM
Then stop picking idiot jurors instead of chasing away anyone with a brain who might actually try to think about the evidence they're seeing.
 
2013-06-28 10:45:44 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

I found a partial print from a bullet fragment and ran it through AFIS and it was a perfect match to our suspect.

/it doesn't happen like that? There aren't hot goth chicks in the science labs?
 
2013-06-28 11:35:49 AM
Maybe it's time to do away with the whole jury concept and just put a panel of judges in place to evaluate the evidence and arguments.

I've met my peers. I wouldn't trust them to decide on where to go to lunch, much less to determine my guilt or innocence.
 
2013-06-28 11:36:06 AM

vernonFL: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 550x825]

I found a partial print from a bullet fragment and ran it through AFIS and it was a perfect match to our suspect.

/it doesn't happen like that? There aren't hot goth chicks in the science labs?


What does Abby have to do with hot goth chicks in science labs?
 
2013-06-28 11:37:43 AM

Mentat: Then stop picking idiot jurors instead of chasing away anyone with a brain who might actually try to think about the evidence they're seeing.


Exactly. Or flat out ask "do you watch CSI or any crime shows" and dismiss anyone who does.
 
2013-06-28 11:37:45 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe it's time to do away with the whole jury concept and just put a panel of judges in place to evaluate the evidence and arguments.

I've met my peers. I wouldn't trust them to decide on where to go to lunch, much less to determine my guilt or innocence.


Where do you want to go?

I'm fine with anything.

How about _______.

No, I don't like that place.
 
2013-06-28 11:38:48 AM
Well get better at picking jury members. Maybe a question should be "Do you watch CSI?"
 
2013-06-28 11:40:44 AM
ENHANCE! ENHANCE! ENHANCE!
 
2013-06-28 11:40:54 AM
"Special lighting - alternate light sources that don't even exist that do all kinds of spinning and colors and things - that doesn't happen."


At least you don't sound crazy.
 
2013-06-28 11:41:00 AM
"It's all about the patterns. Whether it's a shooting, you can determine that. Whether it's a beating, you can determine that from the blood patterns," he says.

So CSI is fake but Dexter is real. Got it.
 
2013-06-28 11:42:22 AM

special20: ENHANCE! ENHANCE! ENHANCE!


www.uproxx.com
 
2013-06-28 11:42:35 AM
You mean you can't enhance the reflection off a bald guy's head and get a plate number?
 
2013-06-28 11:42:56 AM
Just bring in David Caruso to wrap up every closing argument.

"So, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, I'll just leave it up to your own.....*removes glasses*.....convictions."

"YYEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
 
2013-06-28 11:43:11 AM
"This is the only security footage we got"
i.dailymail.co.uk

"That's ok, let me enhance"

www.abc.net.au

"GOT 'EM!"
 
2013-06-28 11:43:23 AM

groppet: Well get better at picking jury members. Maybe a question should be "Do you watch CSI?"


This only works if the spoilsport judges actually allow you to use that as a basis for ejecting a juror. You only get so many peremptory challenges.

That, and people will start using it as an excuse to get out of jury duty. You'd have to make them take a pop quiz to prove they actually watch the show.
 
2013-06-28 11:43:42 AM
Oh, and of course this story comes from the Jersey shore.
 
2013-06-28 11:44:37 AM
AverageAmericanGuy

Maybe it's time to do away with the whole jury concept and just put a panel of judges in place to evaluate the evidence and arguments.

I've met my peers. I wouldn't trust them to decide on where to go to lunch, much less to determine my guilt or innocence.


Very true. Maybe a session with the Torturebots will get us to the truth.

Torturebot: Asimov who? Let's get started.... Watch this!
i1.ytimg.com

I confess! I confess to everything since the Lindbergh kidnapping!
 
2013-06-28 11:44:38 AM

Highroller48: .....*removes glasses*.....


Yeah, I know.  He puts them on, not takes them off.  I fail.
 
2013-06-28 11:44:57 AM

special20: ENHANCE! ENHANCE! ENHANCE!


Ha, this.  I work for a video company and we get semi-regular inquiries by law firms to "enhance" videos.  We can do some things to help, but make something blurry magically clear?  Not going to happen...sorry.
 
2013-06-28 11:45:55 AM
`Can the perp be identified by a flatus sample he left at the scene? I thought the FBI has a data bank of farts from every person in 'merikuh - like DNA?'
 
2013-06-28 11:46:24 AM
They'd have it if Torchwood would release it to the public.
 
2013-06-28 11:46:47 AM
I also wonder how the CSI effect interacts with Melendez-Diaz's requirement that the techie show up in court and offer testimony. 

"Wait, that guy is not a super hot omni-disciplinary super scientist!!  Must be fake!"
 
2013-06-28 11:46:49 AM

vernonFL: /it doesn't happen like that? There aren't hot goth chicks in the science labs?



Why?  Is there one on NCIS now?
 
2013-06-28 11:46:50 AM
www.lolwtfcomics.com
 
2013-06-28 11:48:10 AM
I can make a  GUI interface usingvisual basic totrack the killer's IP address if that will help.
 
2013-06-28 11:48:11 AM
There are hot goth chicks in the lab, but mine had serious daddy issues. She also said that while the tech exists, one lab doesn't have access to all of it. The rest of the world will send their evidence to the regional office to get the pertinent tests done, if needed. Those things cost money, so if the detectives can get a confession, the tests aren't done. Also, those detectives telling you that they have you're DNA from the crime scene? They are lying to you. That particular ex-gf never watched any of those shows, mostly because they pissed her off. Angry goth sex is fun, but I think she figured out what I was doing rather quickly.
 
2013-06-28 11:51:09 AM

Mithiwithi: groppet: Well get better at picking jury members. Maybe a question should be "Do you watch CSI?"

This only works if the spoilsport judges actually allow you to use that as a basis for ejecting a juror. You only get so many peremptory challenges.

That, and people will start using it as an excuse to get out of jury duty. You'd have to make them take a pop quiz to prove they actually watch the show.


Getting out of jury duty is easy. Just mention you believe and support jury nullification and the judge will dismiss you.
 
2013-06-28 11:51:41 AM

Aarontology: Haven't lawyers and judges been saying this for a while now?

People on juries keep asking for types of evidence not relevant to the case (DNA testing) for example.


THIS...

This isn't new news, I've been hearing this for at least 5 years now, I don't know why people still seem shocked by this.
 
2013-06-28 11:52:42 AM
On the upside I suppose it means that jurors are considering evidence more closely and not just taking the hearsay of witnesses or police involved. I'd still rather a guilty man walk because the jury thought more tests should have been done than an innocent man jailed because they took unreliable witnesses at their word.
 
2013-06-28 11:52:43 AM

Koggie: I can make a  GUI interface usingvisual basic totrack the killer's IP address if that will help.


They're always class c addresses, so that helps.
 
2013-06-28 11:53:11 AM
I thought they just called psychics like Miss Cleo to solve all the cases.
 
2013-06-28 11:55:43 AM

Aarontology: Haven't lawyers and judges been saying this for a while now?

People on juries keep asking for types of evidence not relevant to the case (DNA testing) for example.


Yes.   I remember hearing about this back as an undergrad almost 8 years ago.   My professor also mentioned how fingerprints are becoming questionable because no one has really tested out the theory that they are unique to you.   In other words, how do we know that no two people have the same fingerprints?
 
2013-06-28 11:55:54 AM
Probably questioning questionable evidence too.
 
2013-06-28 11:56:03 AM
looks like DRAGNET got it right!!!

also the writers treat us like we are in the 8th grade and have a.d.d.
it all has to happen in 30 minutes or less
because we can't wait and they don't know how to build suspense
 
2013-06-28 11:56:16 AM
but but.... television is real! (Hey, we as a society had the chance to address this desire to be stupid plenty of times and decided to let people be stupid... creationism, global warming, environmental damage from drilling and fracking... we choose to be ignorant and to face facts with dogma and lunacy. We got what we deserved! Now, get off my lawn so I can watch my favorite reality show, Criminal Minds!)
 
2013-06-28 11:56:30 AM

Mentat: Then stop picking idiot jurors instead of chasing away anyone with a brain who might actually try to think about the evidence they're seeing.


Ummmm, they don't want free thinkers.
 
2013-06-28 11:57:59 AM

Highroller48: Highroller48: .....*removes glasses*.....

Yeah, I know.  He puts them on, not takes them off.  I fail.


Should have left well enough alone. I thought it was funny and wanted to see how many you reeled in.
 
2013-06-28 11:58:43 AM

vernonFL: I found a partial print from a bullet fragment and ran it through AFIS and it was a perfect match to our suspect.

/it doesn't happen like that? There aren't hot goth chicks in the science labs?


MAI WAIFU
 
2013-06-28 12:00:39 PM
In my state, the state-run crime lab has been called out for manufacturing any evidence the prosecution wants. Similar allegations have been made for the federal crime lab. As someone who, like clockwork, gets called for district or superior court jury duty every two years I can tell you this - if a prosecutor uses any evidence from these corrupt organizations, I will not only toss it out, but I will zero-out the credibility of the state at that point. The state will need to have some smoking-gun, impossible to manufacture evidence that the defense just can't explain in any way for me to convict. No independent evidence? No conviction. If you want to argue that's not fair to genuine victims of a crime, then you a right. But when the state has no credibility, you cannot convict. And the saddest part? I served a few months ago and not a single case went before the jury - all were plea-bargained. The superior court judge came around and congratulated us all on closing out 19 separate cases (including a second degree murder.) Not a single one of us was called in for a trial.
 
2013-06-28 12:00:52 PM
I demand hologram ballistics evidence like in "Bones" and whatever CSI has the guy from the Nationwide commercials.

/Also, at least one wisecracking sidekick.
 
2013-06-28 12:01:14 PM

special20: ENHANCE! ENHANCE! ENHANCE!


Wait, is everyone saying this isn't real as well?

Enhance

ENHANCE! ENHANCE! ENHANCE!
 
2013-06-28 12:02:02 PM
Kindofa sortofa riggity repeat. Yes we knew this after Casey Anthony.
 
2013-06-28 12:02:43 PM
Good ol' Joisey. The Florida of the north.
 
2013-06-28 12:03:16 PM

special20: ENHANCE! ENHANCE! ENHANCE!


"Just print the damned picture already!"


I think NTSF did a pretty good job summarizing this up:

Zoom in on the grainy security on one pixel of a person
Enhance the grainy security picture to the point of seeing his pores
Spin around so you can see his other side that was hidden form the camera
Pan down to his pocket
Look inside his pocket
Take the key inside that pocket and virtually try it on every lock in the city.
 
2013-06-28 12:03:25 PM
Based on what I've read before, all of the tech they use on the show does technically exist, but in reality the stuff is unimaginably expensive, and a real police department wouldn't have even half of it.

Although I do question the DNA results back in under 5 hours thing on the show.

CSI was awesome when it first started. As far as I could tell they used normal real tech most departments would have, and had separate people doing all the various stuff like in a real crime lab. But then they slowly loaded down the show with super tech, and had the CSI's themselves doing damn near every lab function like a super scientist.

I'm waiting to see how long it is before they have the CSI's take over the medical examiners role as well.
 
2013-06-28 12:05:26 PM

basemetal: Mentat: Then stop picking idiot jurors instead of chasing away anyone with a brain who might actually try to think about the evidence they're seeing.

Ummmm, they don't want free thinkers.


CSB:

I once got bumped off a Jury because I was employed as tech support supervisor at the time, the guy on trial was accused of computer crimes, (the exact charges weren't told to the jury pool) the defense said my expertise would be biased in favor of the prosecution.

/CSB
 
2013-06-28 12:07:24 PM

strangeluck: Based on what I've read before, all of the tech they use on the show does technically exist, but in reality the stuff is unimaginably expensive, and a real police department wouldn't have even half of it.

Although I do question the DNA results back in under 5 hours thing on the show.

CSI was awesome when it first started. As far as I could tell they used normal real tech most departments would have, and had separate people doing all the various stuff like in a real crime lab. But then they slowly loaded down the show with super tech, and had the CSI's themselves doing damn near every lab function like a super scientist.

I'm waiting to see how long it is before they have the CSI's take over the medical examiners role as well.



House?
 
2013-06-28 12:08:17 PM
Officer Michaels: You know, this job though isn't how shows like CSI make it out to be, when I first joined the force, I was under the impression that everything was covered in a fine layer of semen. And that the police had at their disposal a semen database with every bad guy's semen on it. Not true!
Officer Slater: Yup
Officer Michaels: If only there was semen on everything, it would make our jobs easier...
Officer Slater: Hell, yeah!
Officer Michaels: I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything is covered in semen.
Officer Slater: I mean, who doesn't? It's like your wish that you could walk out of a room and just know where the semen was. You just know like Sherlock Holmes, if he was in his day, Sherlock Holomes, in his day... And this is a proven historical fact. Sherlock Holmes, when he was alive, knew where semen was.
Officer Michaels: Could smell it out like a rat.
Officer Slater: Smell it out. ANything
Officer Michaels: Like the crime scene today, if the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face, we'd have a real good shot at catching him...
Officer Slater: No way,
Officer Michaels: Just punched you in the face. No semen.
Officer Slater: Yeah, no semen. And that's the only way you can find DNA by the way, if it's in the jizz.
Officer Michaels: Semen. It's the best DNA, is in the jizz.
Officer Slater: I'm telling you right now, sometimes I just want to make you know, live in a world of semen. That's funny you say that because I feel the same same way...
Officer Michaels: It's true
Officer Slater: I would make semen snowballs...
Officer Michaels: It would just make our lives easier if everything was covered in semen.
Officer Slater: Yeah, no crime.
Officer Michaels: Just semen. fark, that'd be nice.
Officer Slater: I think we've exhausted this point. Sherlock Holmes, in his day, would look at you and say: "Five nights ago, Veronica Shear, USA Up All Night."
Officer Michaels: Four ounces.
Officer Slater: I know that, four ounces into your hand.
Officer Michaels: One time we found semen, one time.
Fogell: I thought you said you never found semen.
Officer Slater: One time we found semen, one time we found semen, we've got really excited, took it back to the lab, turned out it was Michaels' semen.
 
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