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(MIT Technology Review)   How to cut through the lies in online dating profiles. Wait, people lie in those?   (technologyreview.com) divider line 36
    More: Amusing, dating site, profiles  
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2187 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Jun 2013 at 10:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-28 09:13:34 AM  
I read that as "lines" and started to wonder if I'd profoundly misunderstood the internets.
 
2013-06-28 09:36:23 AM  
Not me, I really am a former Olympian turned billionaire philanthropist with a 9-inch penis who spends all his free time helping children and rescuing kittens from storm drains
 
2013-06-28 09:37:32 AM  
I'm sorry, that wasn't entirely truthful. My penis is actually 10 inches
 
2013-06-28 10:15:34 AM  
I really am French
 
2013-06-28 10:22:32 AM  
So wait that wasent a french model?
 
2013-06-28 10:24:26 AM  
www.xdtalk.com
 
2013-06-28 10:27:30 AM  
I tried not lying, I really did.  But I guess the problem is that since everyone assumes people are lying they would still lower the expectations from what I had written.

Although it was quite fun seeing that look of surprise that seemed to be 'huh, he actually looks like his picture and matches the description of himself completely'.  Which was probably much more fun than they had seeing my look of surprise that probably showed my thoughts of 'OK, she looks pretty different from her picture and description and not in a good way.  Do I bail?'.
 
2013-06-28 10:28:39 AM  
People that don't want drama or game playing are the source of both, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
2013-06-28 10:29:03 AM  
The few times I've ever had a profile on any kind of 'dating' site I was actually honest

"Look, I'm just a guy looking to get laid if If that's not your thing or your not attracted to me just move on"
 
2013-06-28 10:29:35 AM  
All the women are fat or mad, or both.
All the men are desperate or alcoholic, or both.
They deserve each other, personally I am done with meeting women via the internet, it's not like there aren't any in real life.
 
2013-06-28 10:32:08 AM  
If you are on plentyoffish.com and a dude says he's gonna send you a picture of his dick, he's telling you the truth.

Also, the chicks on christiansingles are into anal no matter what they claim, and the Asian bride sites are not likely to produce a woman to love you "long time."
 
2013-06-28 10:36:41 AM  
And the Russians.
Let's not forget the Russian women, who seem to be everywhere now.
 
2013-06-28 10:36:45 AM  
Tried online dating.

Didn't really work for me, but I have buddies who had a lot of success with POF or EH. Might try it again soon.

Anyone ever tried one of those singles things like 'events and adventures'?

Honestly I've got negative game. And never seem to 'meet' women.
 
2013-06-28 10:37:14 AM  

Fano: If you are on plentyoffish.com and a dude says he's gonna send you a picture of his dick, he's telling you the truth.

Also, the chicks on christiansingles are into anal no matter what they claim, and the Asian bride sites are not likely to produce a woman to love you "long time."


Even when you have told him you are not gay.
 
2013-06-28 10:38:35 AM  
I'm not looking for a father for my kids.

AHOOOOOOOOOOOOGA AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA DIVE DIVE DIVE!
 
2013-06-28 10:39:37 AM  

Mentat: I'm not looking for a father for my kids.

AHOOOOOOOOOOOOGA AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA DIVE DIVE DIVE!


Poor single ladies with children. Forever will they be alone.
 
2013-06-28 10:44:59 AM  

kroonermanblack: Tried online dating.

Didn't really work for me, but I have buddies who had a lot of success with POF or EH. Might try it again soon.

Anyone ever tried one of those singles things like 'events and adventures'?

Honestly I've got negative game. And never seem to 'meet' women.


Meeting women is easy on online dating websites. I used to have a lot of success on POF, but I don't really bother with it anymore. I find it is generally much less effort to meet women offline.

Rule #1, message women with the most ridiculous yet humorous things you can possibly think up. I have found that you get much more interest and responses if your initial message is very unique, and even sometimes bordering on sexually offensive.
 
2013-06-28 11:01:17 AM  
Here's my experience:

EH - Few active users...very professional women, trying to find that balance between "I want this for my career but I also want this in a husband MARRY ME, if not I'm off to another country to pursue a second PhD" I did get matched with my ex gf, and had the balls to ask her out. We had a nice dinner, but boy was that awkward.

OKC - lot's of active members and variety...mostly looking for hook ups and casual non-serious relationships. Lots and lots of dates from hairstylists to law students. Problem is with so many users anything with tits and a vagina gets hundreds of messages daily, and the women I've met get turned off quickly and stop checking....you're lucky if they see your message.

Match - Just started a week ago...looks like a lot of members, activity and responses is somewhere in-between EH and OKC. No dates yet.

PoF - Never seriously bothered, couldn't tell you.
 
2013-06-28 11:12:06 AM  

kroonermanblack: Tried online dating.

Didn't really work for me, but I have buddies who had a lot of success with POF or EH. Might try it again soon.

Anyone ever tried one of those singles things like 'events and adventures'?

Honestly I've got negative game. And never seem to 'meet' women.


Don't give up.  Some of us (me included) are just very unlucky.  I've known guys with little charm, little money and average looks who have somehow managed to get real long term relationships from the only girl they've ever asked out in their entire life.  They still have trouble talking to other girls who they don't know yet somehow the fates aligned just long enough for them to meet the one person who found them special despite their flaws.

Me, I've asked out plenty of girls and have yet to find one that I've been able to spend more than a few months with.  I say the only thing you can do is use all the experience as practice so that hopefully by the time the fates align for you, you'll have the best possible chance of making it happen.
 
2013-06-28 11:29:34 AM  
It's fairly simple:

"Great personality" = double-dog ugly
"A few extra pounds"= morbidly obese
"A real woman" = morbidly obese
"Average body type" = obese
"Athletic" = fat
"Rubenesque" = classifies for planet status
"No drama" = nothing but drama
"Are there any good guys left?" = fails to identify the common denominator in all her relationships
"Down to earth" = batshiat crazy
 
2013-06-28 11:30:46 AM  
The most common lies:

On Guys Profiles:

5'7" actually means well under 5'7"
5'9" actually means 5'7"
Salary at $75k actually means "I actually make under $50k, live at home, but am trying to get in your pants on the first date"
Salary at $100k actually means "I actually make around $60k but most chicks on the site turn down the guys under this number and I am totally am trying to get in your pants on the first date"


On Women's Profiles:

"Average Build" means fat.
"Fit" means fat.
"Curvy" means fat.
"BBW" means really really really fat.

"I enjoy sports" means "I need to distance myself from the rest of the 5's so this might make you think I am one of the guys"

"I am looking for someone with a sense of humor" means "I am looking for someone attractive with a sense of humor"
 
2013-06-28 11:32:47 AM  
I don't know.  I only came across one woman that was a little deceptive, and that was about her weight.  When I met her IRL, I didn't even recognize her because she was so much bigger than her profile pic suggested, but she was truthful about everything else.  There were other instances where the women were even more attractive than their profile pic suggested, so it goes both ways.

Overall, I was very impressed with the quality of the women I met online.  If I have one suggestion for people currently doing it that are interested in not getting strung along, arrange a meeting IRL very early on.
 
2013-06-28 11:45:52 AM  
Am I the first farkette? Nice...

I met the current BF online and just hit one year a couple weeks ago, but it took some work to find him. I said it once I'll say it again, dudes lie just as much as the chicks apparently. Fake or old pictures, really wanting FWB or hook-ups instead of an actual relationship, or just downright insane. I was on kind of an off the wall site that catered to my nerdiness for about 6 months, not the usuals like OKC or POF and I certainly wasn't going to pay for it like match or EH, but it seems like they're all the same.

To those trying the sites now, I would say use it as an opportunity to get variety. There are normal people on there and as one farker pointed out, sometimes things have to line up just right. It can be really discouraging when the aforementioned issues keep popping up but just move on to the next one.
 
2013-06-28 11:47:51 AM  

Pumpernickel bread: I don't know.  I only came across one woman that was a little deceptive, and that was about her weight.  When I met her IRL, I didn't even recognize her because she was so much bigger than her profile pic suggested, but she was truthful about everything else.  There were other instances where the women were even more attractive than their profile pic suggested, so it goes both ways.

Overall, I was very impressed with the quality of the women I met online.  If I have one suggestion for people currently doing it that are interested in not getting strung along, arrange a meeting IRL very early on.


This is what I was trying to get at. Maybe talk for a couple weeks max, but meet early on and if they are not what you expected or what they presented, move on.
 
2013-06-28 12:00:16 PM  
Millions of fat, single moms: "My child is my world. She is my best friend."

Me: Wow! You sound like a terrible, smothering, needy parent! Please stay away from me!
 
2013-06-28 12:10:22 PM  

FarkingReading: Millions of fat, single moms: "My child is my world. She is my best friend."

Me: Wow! You sound like a terrible, smothering, needy parent! Please stay away from me!


So much this. I'm glad you're being upfront about you kid, but, just say "mom of x kid(s)". End of story. I first need to get into a relationship with you, not you + your snowflake.
 
2013-06-28 12:40:16 PM  

The_EliteOne: FarkingReading: Millions of fat, single moms: "My child is my world. She is my best friend."

Me: Wow! You sound like a terrible, smothering, needy parent! Please stay away from me!

So much this. I'm glad you're being upfront about you kid, but, just say "mom of x kid(s)". End of story. I first need to get into a relationship with you, not you + your snowflake.


It's pretty simple.  Those women are looking for fathers, not men for themselves.  So if you are looking for a child, then go for them.  If  you are looking for a relationship, skip 'em.
 
2013-06-28 12:57:55 PM  
Had a old profile with a picture of me and my kids...

And that was part of what brought a woman to get in touch with me... that I had the courage to be honest, and that my kids (which I had full custody) were a part of my life.

That was over 12 years ago, and she's been my wife for 11 of those years now (just celebrated our anniversary a few weeks ago).
 
2013-06-28 01:31:57 PM  
If you are gay, Christian MIngle is where it's at.
 
2013-06-28 01:37:09 PM  
Hmm, I met a girl through a BBS 20 years ago. She was nuts. I wonder where she is today.
 
2013-06-28 02:17:19 PM  

WhippingBoy: It's fairly simple:

"Great personality" = double-dog ugly
"A few extra pounds"= morbidly obese
"A real woman" = morbidly obese
"Average body type" = obese
"Athletic" = fat
"Rubenesque" = classifies for planet status
"No drama" = nothing but drama
"Are there any good guys left?" = fails to identify the common denominator in all her relationships
"Down to earth" = batshiat crazy


lol came in here to say this pretty much. Let me add:

Eye Color: = Fat
Education: Some College = No College. Oh, and fat.
 
2013-06-28 02:20:32 PM  

Walt_Jizzney: WhippingBoy: It's fairly simple:

"Great personality" = double-dog ugly
"A few extra pounds"= morbidly obese
"A real woman" = morbidly obese
"Average body type" = obese
"Athletic" = fat
"Rubenesque" = classifies for planet status
"No drama" = nothing but drama
"Are there any good guys left?" = fails to identify the common denominator in all her relationships
"Down to earth" = batshiat crazy

lol came in here to say this pretty much. Let me add:

Eye Color: = Fat
Education: Some College = No College. Oh, and fat.


"I'm a woman" = fat
 
2013-06-28 03:12:08 PM  
The only thing you can learn from an online profile is whether or not the person can write.

If they can, they might be able to converse.

If they can converse, they might be interesting enough to have in your life.

If they aren't able to converse well enough to have in your life then they weren't worth taking out on that first date.

And when I say I'm six and a half feet tall, that's a rough estimate. Some days it's 6'5", some 6'6". Some days I'm well rested and bumping my head in the ceiling of my truck.
 
2013-06-28 03:13:35 PM  

wildcardjack: . Some days I'm well rested and bumping my head in the ceiling of my truck.


Which head?
ha
ha
ha
ha
 
2013-06-28 03:15:27 PM  
I LOVE TO LAUGH!!!
 
2013-06-29 03:36:51 AM  
I'm on one dating site, but I've not met anyone on there.  Gotten a few flirts, but so far no one I had any urge to reply to.

It would also be nice if the distance filters worked better.  It defaults to people up to 100 miles away, but I know some of the listed towns are a lot farther.. and even when I knock it down to 20 miles, a few places much farther away still show up.
 
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