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(Queerty)   Having reached the age of just not giving a fark what people think anymore, Martha Stewart admits that she knows how to properly roll a joint, has sexted, has had one night stands and was in a threesome. But, she's never gone full lesbian   (queerty.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, one night stands, Maggie Gyllenhaal, string trio, lesbians, bros  
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3228 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Jun 2013 at 3:22 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-27 08:55:54 PM  
I bet she's worn a strap-on more than once.
 
2013-06-27 09:49:21 PM  
There's also pics of her giving a spanking. Oh yeah, she's a freak. I'd hit it.
 
2013-06-27 10:34:23 PM  

dj_bigbird: There's also pics of her giving a spanking. Oh yeah, she's a freak. I'd hit it.


It's Martha Stewart.
Everything has to be just right.
I can totally see her as a Domme.
 
2013-06-28 12:19:34 AM  
I guess that Paul's Deen is getting a little too much attention lately.
 
2013-06-28 12:29:03 AM  
Didn't rtfa, so the 3 some was ffm? Because that wouldn't surprise me so much, but I'd like to see her in mmf getting just nasty with it.

That would be a good thing.
 
2013-06-28 12:45:58 AM  
My respect for her has gone up.
 
2013-06-28 12:47:02 AM  
You Would Have Hit It

thisaintevenfunny.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-28 01:04:16 AM  
A desperate cry for attention.
 
2013-06-28 01:33:00 AM  
Decorative Paddle:
Step 1 Paint front and back of paddle pink. Let dry.
Step 2 Adhere paper to paddle using decoupage techniques.
Step 3 Stick on glitter letters to spell "Big Sis".
Step 4 Glue on flower embellishments and painted wood embellishment.
Step 5 Add pink glitter dots using the Glitter Liners.
Step 6 Tie ribbon through hole to hang.
Step 7 Apply, with force, to derriere of deserving partner.
 
2013-06-28 02:02:56 AM  
But, she's never gone full lesbian

Since what happens in prison comes out of necessity, not attraction.
 
2013-06-28 02:11:32 AM  
Maybe someday society will reach an age where nobody considers any of those things a big deal. :-/
 
2013-06-28 03:24:29 AM  
 
2013-06-28 03:34:34 AM  

Bucky Katt: A desperate cry for attention.


I'd give my "attention" until she desperately cried.
 
2013-06-28 03:41:29 AM  
www.listsandgrades.com
It's a good thing.
 
2013-06-28 03:56:44 AM  

mamoru: Maybe someday society will reach an age where nobody considers any of those things a big deal. :-/


I mean I would think she wasn't human if she hadn't ticked off those items on a laundry list. She is old and single. She has had years and years to pad that resume.
 
2013-06-28 04:35:03 AM  
She's hot, even now.

Too bad she's a whore.
 
2013-06-28 06:16:59 AM  
Rolls proper joint.  Check
Technology savvy.  Check
Knows how to get her freak on.  Check

Would love to party with her.
 
2013-06-28 06:21:02 AM  
Jesus, Martha. Show some dignity and just call Nigella and ask her for a sleepover.
 
2013-06-28 06:21:45 AM  
From a linked article:

"...She told a quick story about how, when she was on her way to the interview, she pulled up next to an ice cream truck inside of which two young people were getting high: 'A girl and a guy were smoking joints, and they had them in their hands like this [demonstrates holding a joint], and I said boy, those are sloppy joints'."

"Dude...was that Martha Stewart?"

"I saw it too. This is some really good shiat."
 
2013-06-28 07:16:58 AM  
Martha Stewart admits that she knows how to properly roll a joint

We already knew that.

i171.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-28 07:20:49 AM  

fruitloop: Martha Stewart admits that she knows how to properly roll a joint

We already knew that.

[i171.photobucket.com image 385x289]


I bet she makes some awesome pot brownies.
 
2013-06-28 07:30:08 AM  
Is this the part where we have liberated older postmaupausal women's words pasted over the bikini pics of 18 year old women?
 
2013-06-28 07:31:56 AM  
She can properly roll a joint, and that's a good thing.
 
2013-06-28 07:41:00 AM  
I think the headline should read "Having reached a level of wealth of just not giving a fark what people think anymore".
 
2013-06-28 07:42:23 AM  
Damn, prison really taught her.

/JK, but she's been on my "yes, please!" list for some years
 
2013-06-28 07:49:34 AM  

Philbb: Decorative Paddle:
Step 1 Paint front and back of paddle pink. Let dry.
Step 2 Adhere paper to paddle using decoupage techniques.
Step 3 Stick on glitter letters to spell "Big Sis".
Step 4 Glue on flower embellishments and painted wood embellishment.
Step 5 Add pink glitter dots using the Glitter Liners.
Step 6 Tie ribbon through hole to hang.
Step 7 Apply, with force, to derriere of deserving partner.


Amateur night.

Anyone will actual paddle-making skillz will use a router to carve their sub's name into the paddle, then fill the letters in with stained wood of a slightly different grain and sand smooth.
 
2013-06-28 07:50:44 AM  
I would gladly participate with Martha in a threesome; I think she's still hot. But only the good kind with two chicks, not the gross kind with two dudes. PCoC don't roll that way.
 
2013-06-28 07:59:46 AM  

fruitloop: Martha Stewart admits that she knows how to properly roll a joint

We already knew that.

[i171.photobucket.com image 385x289]


I still remember her and Snoop arguing about whether to put black or white pepper in mashed potatoes on a segment.  (Which is silly; it's black pepper, of course.)
 
2013-06-28 08:12:40 AM  
Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.
 
2013-06-28 08:16:42 AM  

thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.


I swear some people are freaky about this, for me it doesn't matter. If swords touch, they touch.

Double vag is actually kinda fun....just saying.
 
2013-06-28 08:29:39 AM  

IdBeCrazyIf: thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.

I swear some people are freaky about this, for me it doesn't matter. If swords touch, they touch.

Double vag is actually kinda fun....just saying.


If there's space for a 2nd one, then there's something wrong with your setup.
 
2013-06-28 08:31:14 AM  

thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.


Not a fan of "Tower Bridge", eh?
 
2013-06-28 08:41:55 AM  
Wow I must say she has gained some respect from me. She seemed very uptight, a prim and proper type who only let you hit it with the lights off on your anniversary.

Instead she's a joint rolling freak who is down for a ménage. Call me Martha, my wife thinks your hot. I'll supply you can roll.
 
2013-06-28 08:58:00 AM  
I'm not 100% sure, but I think I've seen this before on Fark.
But in any case if this is a repeat or not, Martha Stewart sounds kind of awesome if she can properly roll a joint and has a wild side that nobody would expect.
 
2013-06-28 09:12:45 AM  

neritz: thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.

Not a fan of "Tower Bridge", eh?


Thought it was just called an Eiffel Tower when you fived while performing a Chinese Finger Cuff.
 
2013-06-28 09:17:25 AM  
Don't forget, gentlemen...she was in prison.  Lord only knows what kind of freaky prison sex she got into...
 
2013-06-28 09:17:48 AM  

thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.


Why are you so insecure about your sexuality?
 
2013-06-28 09:19:41 AM  

thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.


i291.photobucket.com

Not gay......
 
2013-06-28 09:27:06 AM  

thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.


Let me guess: when you and a buddy see an action movie in the theater, you leave a seat empty between you so no one thinks you're on a romantic date.

And you'd rather piss in the sink than use a urinal right next to another one that's in use, no matter how bad you have to go.
 
2013-06-28 09:31:13 AM  

Gig103: But, she's never gone full lesbian

Since what happens in prison comes out of necessity, not attraction.


There is a term for that.  GWI.  Gay while incarcerated.

/The more you know...
 
2013-06-28 09:34:22 AM  
Martha is hard-core.  When Martha got pinched by the Feds for insider trading she didn't rat.  She told the DA to suck it and did her time in the joint.

Martha ain't no punk biatch.  You better think twice before you snitch on Martha.
 
2013-06-28 09:39:03 AM  
She can do any of these things, it doen't mean she was anything but bland and boring while doing them.
(monotone) My goodness.  An orgasm.  Fun.
 
2013-06-28 09:48:01 AM  

Nana's Vibrator: She can do any of these things, it doen't mean she was anything but bland and boring while doing them.
(monotone) My goodness.  An orgasm.  Fun.


Go on...

/obligatory...
 
2013-06-28 09:49:14 AM  

Saborlas: thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.

Let me guess: when you and a buddy see an action movie in the theater, you leave a seat empty between you so no one thinks you're on a romantic date.

And you'd rather piss in the sink than use a urinal right next to another one that's in use, no matter how bad you have to go.


He's quoting How I Met Your Mother, actually.
 
2013-06-28 10:02:04 AM  
 
2013-06-28 10:26:29 AM  

js34603: Wow I must say she has gained some respect from me. She seemed very uptight, a prim and proper type who only let you hit it with the lights off on your anniversary.



Camouflage.
 
2013-06-28 10:31:48 AM  

lesliessexxy: Saborlas: thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.

Let me guess: when you and a buddy see an action movie in the theater, you leave a seat empty between you so no one thinks you're on a romantic date.

And you'd rather piss in the sink than use a urinal right next to another one that's in use, no matter how bad you have to go.

He's quoting How I Met Your Mother, actually.


That makes sense.

I'm not comfortable with MMF at all, but if you've invited another guy to participate in SEX having stupid rules about not touching or looking seems awfully rude and unsexy. Why even have him at all??
 
2013-06-28 11:01:27 AM  

lesliessexxy: Saborlas: thunderchunk jones: Where I come from we call the MMF threesome the Devil's Three way. The devil's horns must never touch and eye contact between males is forbidden. High fives, fist bumps and public acknowledgements of said event are punishable by death.

Let me guess: when you and a buddy see an action movie in the theater, you leave a seat empty between you so no one thinks you're on a romantic date.

And you'd rather piss in the sink than use a urinal right next to another one that's in use, no matter how bad you have to go.

He's quoting How I Met Your Mother, actually.


I should have guessed that based on how terribly unfunny the quote is.
 
2013-06-28 01:29:39 PM  
plushpuppy:
You Would Have Hit It
[thisaintevenfunny.files.wordpress.com image 576x396]


Holy shiat that hair has its own zip code.
 
2013-06-28 04:23:17 PM  
In other news, stoners were seen rolling joints with a doily and decorative bow.
 
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