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(Daily Mail)   Your cat really can understand you, just thinks you are stupid   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 137
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15314 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2013 at 11:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-28 12:19:22 AM
My cat makes all kinds of funny noises, because he has a lot of Egyptian Mao blood. I recently started recording him asking for things, just for fun. Turns out, the are recognizable patterns in the sounds he makes that are pretty much the same every time.

The most common request he makes is to sit on my shoulders:

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-28 12:19:56 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: My cat is quite talkative, and definitely has a whole range of different sounds with consistent meanings. She's also coy about strangers, and usually won't "talk" to a friend or relative until she gets used to them (though she never hides from new people; she's very confident and curious). She responds to her name whenever I say it (not that she really gets the concept of a name such as it is, but she definitely recognizes that I'm communicating something), and because I whistle jazz and blues tunes a lot, we've developed a couple of short melodies that will usually bring her running. Part of that is just cats' facility for pattern recognition (and "superstitious thinking," as I've heard animal behaviorists call it; she has little routines that she thinks are integral parts of getting a treat or having a meal), but there's definitely communication happening on some level. I've also read that cats usually don't meow past infancy if they are raised in the wild (they communicate with each other and with other animals largely via scent and body language), so I suspect that they make the sounds they do with people because they are (at least some of the time) getting the responses they are looking for.


My clowder of four saves the 'meow' for the human...but they do trill and 'chirp' at each other quite a bit- especially the ones with lots of 'Oriental' in the gene pool (going by body type, head-shape, and personality).

I've given each of my cats their own 'name song'...repetitive tune, lyrics consisting mostly of their names...sung to them while being petted, fed, brushed or other things that make them go purr.
This comes in handy during stressful moments (e.g., at the vet, getting a rare bath, receiving various 'shut up, it keeps you healthy' treatments). I sing them their song, and their stress level recedes. Made it easier for the Sainted Vet to get blood from my eldest last week.
 
2013-06-28 12:20:06 AM
My dog would ignore me too.  Unless there was food involved, then he was always next to me.

/RIP Max, who passed on this morning.
 
2013-06-28 12:24:23 AM

cptjeff: In other news, part of one of the more highly developed orders of predators ever found on the planet is pretty high on the sentience scale. Whoda thunk.

Yes, cats get to know the voices of the people they live with. They also remember specific tendencies, archive mistakes you've made, and hold it against you for a decade. They have unique and complex personalities, learn from each other, learn from you, judge you when you masturbate... None of this is exactly a shock to anybody who has ever spent much time around a cat.


You mean girl not cat don't you?
 
2013-06-28 12:24:52 AM
Pussy has ignored me since jr. high school.
 
2013-06-28 12:28:57 AM

theunblinkingeye: ReverendJimBobHammer: demonfaerie: ReverendJimBobHammer: And they'll eat your face off before your body's cold.

So do dogs, my dad's friend was found dead two weeks after he died. His face was half eaten off by his dog. It was probably because the dog was starving.

Sorry, just watching old Bones episodes and thought I'd throw it out there.

The dogs would at least wait for the body to be cold and near starvation to set in, cats on the other hand will only wait for mild discomfort. They're just not as respectful as dogs (plus they're smart enough to see we're not using the body any more, dogs aren't that smart).

Bullshiat.  Dogs will start eating their owners before they're even dead.


LIAR LIAR CATS ARE EVIL AND DOGS ARE GOOD!!!!!!
 
2013-06-28 12:29:20 AM

ReverendJimBobHammer: cptjeff: In other news, part of one of the more highly developed orders of predators ever found on the planet is pretty high on the sentience scale. Whoda thunk.

Yes, cats get to know the voices of the people they live with. They also remember specific tendencies, archive mistakes you've made, and hold it against you for a decade. They have unique and complex personalities, learn from each other, learn from you, judge you when you masturbate... None of this is exactly a shock to anybody who has ever spent much time around a cat.

You mean girl not cat don't you?


Works either way. Except that the cat will judge girls when they masturbate, too.
 
2013-06-28 12:33:14 AM

syzygy whizz: Made it easier for the Sainted Vet to get blood from my eldest last week.


Funny, my cat usually draws blood from the vet.
 
2013-06-28 12:33:32 AM

cptjeff: ReverendJimBobHammer: cptjeff: In other news, part of one of the more highly developed orders of predators ever found on the planet is pretty high on the sentience scale. Whoda thunk.

Yes, cats get to know the voices of the people they live with. They also remember specific tendencies, archive mistakes you've made, and hold it against you for a decade. They have unique and complex personalities, learn from each other, learn from you, judge you when you masturbate... None of this is exactly a shock to anybody who has ever spent much time around a cat.

You mean girl not cat don't you?

Works either way. Except that the cat will judge girls when they masturbate, too.


I didn't know that, I've never been a girl
 
2013-06-28 12:34:08 AM
Up until tuna is introduced, then "owner" becomes a negotiable term.
 
2013-06-28 12:36:16 AM
whyevolutionistrue.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-28 12:36:44 AM

syzygy whizz: 've given each of my cats their own 'name song'...repetitive tune, lyrics consisting mostly of their names


You are Susan Calman and I claim my five pounds.

Proof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEoEY7HxVwU

oh. also this.

s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-06-28 12:36:46 AM

ReverendJimBobHammer: cptjeff: ReverendJimBobHammer: cptjeff: In other news, part of one of the more highly developed orders of predators ever found on the planet is pretty high on the sentience scale. Whoda thunk.

Yes, cats get to know the voices of the people they live with. They also remember specific tendencies, archive mistakes you've made, and hold it against you for a decade. They have unique and complex personalities, learn from each other, learn from you, judge you when you masturbate... None of this is exactly a shock to anybody who has ever spent much time around a cat.

You mean girl not cat don't you?

Works either way. Except that the cat will judge girls when they masturbate, too.

I didn't know that, I've never been a girl


I should have prefaced that with, "and I imagine..."

\excuse me while I go imagine things.
\\In my bunk.
 
2013-06-28 12:37:19 AM
Meh. Both of my cats are affectionate. My boy is a textbook Nebelung amd my girl is the most affectionate animal I've ever seen. Both will follow me from room to room just to be near me. Both are lap cats. Both follow me to bed and lay/sleep on or near me for the night and for nap time. They know their names and will come when I call them.

They also greet me at the door when I come home. They somehow know what time I get home and are downstairs waiting for me. I know this because when I come home early they scamper downstairs, probably napping on my bed, after hearing the door. Home at normal time, they're waiting. Home early, they're not waiting.
 
2013-06-28 12:37:34 AM

riverwalk barfly: I swear between the vomiting moments, I knew that she was one of those death cats.


I thought that stuff was just superstitious nonsense, until I had the unfortunate opportunity to witness it first hand a little over a year ago.

Since then, I've actually had my wife keep the cat away from when I've been really ill. I don't want to lie around watching the cat watch me, attempting to figure out what I would do if it started pulling its "harbinger of death" routine...that's just not the sort of thing you want to be left to mull over when you're too sick to move or think straight.
 
2013-06-28 12:41:26 AM

Bumblefark: riverwalk barfly: I swear between the vomiting moments, I knew that she was one of those death cats.

I thought that stuff was just superstitious nonsense, until I had the unfortunate opportunity to witness it first hand a little over a year ago.

Since then, I've actually had my wife keep the cat away from when I've been really ill. I don't want to lie around watching the cat watch me, attempting to figure out what I would do if it started pulling its "harbinger of death" routine...that's just not the sort of thing you want to be left to mull over when you're too sick to move or think straight.


There is a hospice (I forget where) that relies on a cat's predictions, which usually come 36-48 hours before the patient dies, to notify next of kin so they can be there in time, and the cat has never been wrong.

Very, very creepy. But this cat's ability has allowed a lot of family to be able to be with their loved ones in their final moments, so it really does serve a good end.
 
2013-06-28 12:42:20 AM
NAU is working on a universal translator for prairie dog speak? Well, at least my alma mater is doing something important for the world.

Go chat with the colonies surrounded by fences and biohazard signs due to the plague. I'm sure they've got some stories. "Yeah, Bob kicked off this morning. Bring out the dead!"

/Two cats, love them to pieces and they're almost like puppies. They actually like us.
//Until the apocalypse then we're first on the menu I assume.
 
2013-06-28 12:56:15 AM
My Bengal is very talkative - some very specific meows for different things - very distinct, she even seems to use syllables. But the best one is where she combined her meow for being annoyed with the chittering for seeing huntable animals, letting us know she wanted the bedroom curtain open so she could see if there was anything interesting outside.
 
2013-06-28 12:57:13 AM

basemetal: My cats can communicate with me quite well. The three biggest things they tell me:

/let me out
//feed me
///pet me and tell me I'm pretty


WTF? Don't be a liter. I'd buy you 3 months of TF, but I don't like paypal.
 
2013-06-28 12:57:47 AM
FTA: "
The study, which will be published in the July issue of Animal Cognition, comes just weeks after an expert in animal behaviour claimed we will one day be able to talk to animals using mobile phone-sized gadgets.
 
LOL no!

Your cat will let your calls go to voice mail, and will never respond to your texts.
 
2013-06-28 01:00:03 AM
My cats range from obsessive with my room, to laid back, to catnip addict. Obsessive one will meow at me because it's bedtime and she wants me to go to bed so she has someplace warm to sleep. One sleeps all day and mouths meows, but she doesn't really make much noise with them. The last one will bug me loudly and forever if I ever get near my dresser, which is where I have his catnip.
 
2013-06-28 01:01:27 AM
My cat will twitch its tail when you say his name. We do it for laughs when he's 'sleeping '.

I heard once that Dogs have a simple and common vocabulary so a translator would work for them. A cats language is unique and would need programming for each cat.
 
2013-06-28 01:05:49 AM

calufrax: My Bengal is very talkative - some very specific meows for different things - very distinct, she even seems to use syllables. But the best one is where she combined her meow for being annoyed with the chittering for seeing huntable animals, letting us know she wanted the bedroom curtain open so she could see if there was anything interesting outside.


I haven't noticed compound words but my cat does have different words for me and my wife.
 
2013-06-28 01:05:58 AM
My cats definitely have their own language.  It's the language of death and destruction.

And cuddles.
 
2013-06-28 01:07:02 AM

davidphogan: Every cat I've lived with responded to its name.  They usually also responded to asshole, motherfarker, and catass.


My neighbor's cat responds to a BB gun.
 
2013-06-28 01:08:42 AM

demonfaerie: ReverendJimBobHammer: And they'll eat your face off before your body's cold.

So do dogs, my dad's friend was found dead two weeks after he died. His face was half eaten off by his dog. It was probably because the dog was starving.


This is why I try to replace the bag well before it runs out, and leave it where they can chew a hole if desperate. Not so much because I care if they eat me if I *die*, but if I say fall and hit my head and can't move or something, I'd rather not be their first choice when the bowls run dry.
 
2013-06-28 01:09:58 AM

calufrax: My Bengal is very talkative - some very specific meows for different things - very distinct, she even seems to use syllables. But the best one is where she combined her meow for being annoyed with the chittering for seeing huntable animals, letting us know she wanted the bedroom curtain open so she could see if there was anything interesting outside.


Bengals aren't really cats.  They're galaxy-sized amounts of compressed energy with fur on them.  I've had many over the years.   Definitely some of the most distinct personalities you'll get out of a cat, especially when they're doing things like jumping over the refrigerator, turning on the sink to give themselves water, or deciding they want to talk during really important web meetings.  My favorite Bengal ever recognized the sound of one particular web conference software, and whenever he heard it, he'd meow incessantly (pretty much the only time he'd do that), to the point I'd have to go to a different floor of the house and close myself in.

But, that said, Bengals + Running water is the greatest thing ever.  Never seen a group of cats who _loved_ full bathtubs so much.
 
2013-06-28 01:10:57 AM

demonfaerie: ReverendJimBobHammer: And they'll eat your face off before your body's cold.

So do dogs, my dad's friend was found dead two weeks after he died. His face was half eaten off by his dog. It was probably because the dog was starving.


People eat peoples' faces off when they're starving, too.
 
2013-06-28 01:12:15 AM
I don't know if stupid people buy cats, or owning cats makes you stupid. With the brain parasites and all that fun.
 
2013-06-28 01:22:45 AM
He knows what I'm saying, but he can't read

/Also cat behavior makes much more sense when you realize they can't focus closer than 25 cm
 
2013-06-28 01:23:48 AM
This is a story that includes a reference to a device that will translate your pet's sounds into human speech, and we've gone 79 points, and a headline, without a single "Wants Steak" reference?  For shame, Fark.  For shame.

http://www.fark.com/comments/4521148/Dog-translator-turns-barks-into -E nglish-even-though-every-statement-turns-out-to-be-a-variation-on-want -steak
 
2013-06-28 01:28:15 AM
Come on people, you can admit it. It's Not Cat Owners, It's Cat Owned.

Sign at the vet's said it all.

The difference between dogs and cats, simple...

Dogs come when their called...

Cats say "Leave a message, I Might get back to you".

Wanted to post a pic of my monster, but can't figure out how.
 
2013-06-28 01:30:11 AM
One of the two outdoor cats that have claimed our house as part of its territory (cheek rubbing) is quite vocal. S/he is rather sweet. Lets me pet it but will sniff my hand and not bite it off. Never given it food. Trying to figure it out. But "Here kitty, kitty." Will get a meow. Not fearful meow (again don't want to draw blood) but still a bit of curious. The other ignores us and now doesn't fear us as we never do anything to them.

Like the anoles that live in one of our plants. We had it next to the doro before and after a while they just slept out in the open with the light on with no concern for us.
 
2013-06-28 01:34:31 AM
Pica the Cat will appear to be asleep, but if I speak to him the tip of his tail will twitch. Like, "Yeah, I acknowledge your voice, but that's as far as I'm going."

I rescued him as a kitten from the wild woods five years ago; I didn't go out intentionally looking for a pet.
 
2013-06-28 01:50:49 AM

mbillips: My cat does things to irritate me, just to force me to go into the kitchen and watch him eat. He doesn't like to eat alone.

/Yes, of course I do it.


Mine as well.  She loves to have her people in groups, so much that to this day she's the only cat I know of who will try to herd humans, to get them all in one room.  Safety in numbers, I guess.
 
2013-06-28 02:06:24 AM
I've always figured cats are smart, they just know what they can get away with. They're still dumb animals, but I love 'em to death.
 
2013-06-28 02:13:49 AM

flamingboar: My dog would ignore me too.  Unless there was food involved, then he was always next to me.

/RIP Max, who passed on this morning.


condolences
 
2013-06-28 02:13:54 AM
Hey a cat thread! What a surprise!!1
 
2013-06-28 02:23:10 AM
And you are
And so are they
 
2013-06-28 02:50:36 AM
Cats absolutely, definitely, undoubtedly know their humans.

I had chin-length hair. One day I had it all cut off and as soon as I cam home my Russian Blue walked up and sniffed my boots as usual. Then she looked up at my head and stared in utter astonishment for a good minute. Staring intently with eyes WIDE open. She even jumped up onto the arm of the sofa for a better look.
 
2013-06-28 02:58:35 AM

cptjeff: syzygy whizz: Made it easier for the Sainted Vet to get blood from my eldest last week.

Funny, my cat usually draws blood from the vet.


I'll cop to being disgustingly proud of My Little Angels'TM behaviour at the Sainted Vet's...
Worst they've ever done is cuss...and the cusser-in-question was undergoing an anal gland 'expression' at the time.

/ Think 'Procto exam' + 'Roto-Rooter'

Gordon Bennett: syzygy whizz: 've given each of my cats their own 'name song'...repetitive tune, lyrics consisting mostly of their names

You are Susan Calman and I claim my five pounds.

Proof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEoEY7HxVwU

oh. also this.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 573x525]


Whoa...my songs are nowhere near that complex. Or funny. Or inventive.
But you're more than welcome to 5 pounds....

Oh.
You mean money.


/ you should pay ME...
// got a damn "Mr. Oscar" earworm now, thanks to you....
 
2013-06-28 03:17:16 AM

syzygy whizz: cptjeff: syzygy whizz: Made it easier for the Sainted Vet to get blood from my eldest last week.

Funny, my cat usually draws blood from the vet.

I'll cop to being disgustingly proud of My Little Angels'TM behaviour at the Sainted Vet's...
Worst they've ever done is cuss...and the cusser-in-question was undergoing an anal gland 'expression' at the time.

/ Think 'Procto exam' + 'Roto-Rooter'

Gordon Bennett: syzygy whizz: 've given each of my cats their own 'name song'...repetitive tune, lyrics consisting mostly of their names

You are Susan Calman and I claim my five pounds.

Proof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEoEY7HxVwU

oh. also this.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 573x525]

Whoa...my songs are nowhere near that complex. Or funny. Or inventive.
But you're more than welcome to 5 pounds....

Oh.
You mean money.


/ you should pay ME...
// got a damn "Mr. Oscar" earworm now, thanks to you....


Crazy, I work at a vet's office and never once have we expressed a cat's butt!!
 
2013-06-28 03:35:23 AM
Why would the cat talk to you or respect you ?

Your a poop thief. You go in go in and steal their nicely buried turds and take them who knows where , probably selling them on the street , that where you go during the day isn't it ? Your so called "job", probably a cat poop exchange where you buy and sell cat poop and speculate on cat poop futures while he the cat who provides all this luxury for you that you steal right from under him and leave the cat  is stuck in this prison . you slave drive cat poop thieving human .
 
2013-06-28 03:37:59 AM
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

/obscure
 
2013-06-28 03:45:57 AM
aletheuo.ath.cx
 
2013-06-28 03:52:33 AM
Pica the Cat did utter the rare sociable meow the other day. Atypically, he had been inside all day, having been "under the weather" the day before.

I came home, he stood up on the table where he had been lying and meow'ed. Like, where've you been, I've been bored.

Normally his talking is reserved for demands: Let me in or Let me out.

Just a monochrome mutt.
 
2013-06-28 04:19:44 AM
My cat and I  converse a lot. He's a big meower. When he wakes up mid-morning he meows at me from his prime position on the bed, and then he goes back to sleep when I meow back from the study. I guess he likes to know where I am.

He also likes to have a bit of a yodel when he is crouching down to have a drink of water. Doesn't do this with his food bowl, just water. Meow, meow, meooo, meeoooooo, meeeooooodlodleodleooo.

He definitely knows his name but only comes when I call him if I slap my leg a couple of times to tell him to come for his dinner.

When he comes into the bedroom at daylight, he has a little meow that often wakes me up. Then he goes 'meh, meh, meoooo' as he jumps on my head.

My cat is great, but he never buries his turds in his kitty litter, like he does with his piss. This is not pleasant in a one-bedroom flat, but then again I no longer feel guilty when letting off a fart when he's sitting in my lap. He looks at me like I'm a peasant, but then he remembers his turd problem, so it's all sorted.
 
2013-06-28 04:32:37 AM

Magic_Button: Why would the cat talk to you or respect you ?

Your a poop thief. You go in go in and steal their nicely buried turds and take them who knows where , probably selling them on the street , that where you go during the day isn't it ? Your so called "job", probably a cat poop exchange where you buy and sell cat poop and speculate on cat poop futures while he the cat who provides all this luxury for you that you steal right from under him and leave the cat  is stuck in this prison . you slave drive cat poop thieving human .


I think you're onto something there. Mine gets angry when I clean out his litterbox. He's really territorial about it. I have to do it when he's asleep, or he'll keep getting between me and the box, meowing and pushing me away from it. As soon as I'm done he jumps in it and pees.
 
2013-06-28 04:38:07 AM
steerforth:
My cat is great, but he never buries his turds in his kitty litter, like he does with his piss. This is not pleasant in a one-bedroom flat, but then again I no longer feel guilty when letting off a fart when he's sitting in my lap. He looks at me like I'm a peasant, but then he remembers his turd problem, so it's all sorted.

A covered litterbox with a door was worth every penny of the $27 I paid for it. My wee furry beastie loves to take a big steaming dump just as I'm sitting down to dinner. Problem solved.
 
2013-06-28 04:52:42 AM

rustypouch: I don't know if stupid people buy cats, or owning cats makes you stupid. With the brain parasites and all that fun.


Trouble with being a "cat hater" - you have to hate civilization too,  since you wouldn't have it without them. You would be a peasant in a farming/pastoral society, and would have tools of bone, wood, and stone only.
The only people who were able to build a real civilization without cats were the Mezoamericans, who substituted the Chihuahua dog, an even more intolerably annoying creature (and a small number of Indians and Malaysians who used the mongoose).
See, if you want a real civilization, you need to be able to start at the pre-bronze age level and develop the ability to produce and STORE large quantities of food - especially grain. Need cats or something like them to do that. And the cat is not only better at it's job than any other small predator, it is a complex and fascinating animal, that makes a a good pet for an intelligent person (the stupid tend to dislike them - but, hey - they can get dogs). So typically, a cat lover can affoird to lose a few IQ points - he'll still be smarter than you.
 
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