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(Yahoo)   Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip. That started from this tropic port. Aboard this tiny ship   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 88
    More: Florida, ports  
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9890 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2013 at 2:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-27 01:38:22 PM
Was the mate a mighty sailing man? The skipper brave and sure?
 
2013-06-27 01:58:58 PM
OK.

I'll start.

i236.photobucket.com.
i236.photobucket.com.
i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-27 02:18:10 PM
This thread had so many possibilities and Eddie started it off right.   The came the redlight...
 
2013-06-27 02:19:26 PM
Well, ignore that last...   Just naturally assumed since I posted it, it would fail...
 
2013-06-27 02:21:29 PM
Mary Ann.
 
2013-06-27 02:22:28 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Was the mate a mighty sailing man? The skipper brave and sure?


Yep. And five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour.

/A three hour tour.
 
2013-06-27 02:22:34 PM
It's not a sailboat, it's a schooner!
 
2013-06-27 02:22:47 PM
Illegal use of Florida tag
 
2013-06-27 02:27:06 PM
Well at least I no longer have Gangam Style earworming through my skull now.
 
2013-06-27 02:27:18 PM

Zul the Magnificent: Mary Ann.


In the can.
 
2013-06-27 02:27:59 PM
Skeeeeeeepppppppppahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
 
2013-06-27 02:28:15 PM

zerkalo: Illegal use of Florida tag


FTFY

/welcome
 
2013-06-27 02:29:37 PM
Does nobody know how to read a weather report?
 
2013-06-27 02:30:37 PM
Fish gotta eat, same as the sea gulls.
 
2013-06-27 02:31:04 PM

fat boy: Zul the Magnificent: Mary Ann.

In the can.


And that's why Mary Ann is hotter.

She'd take it up the ass, and cook you a banana cream pie with weed as a thank you for violating her anally.

Ginger would be afraid she'd chip a nail giving you a handjob, and would scream if her make-up got smeared by a faceful of jizz.

/and redheads are way, way, way overrated.
 
2013-06-27 02:32:23 PM
The Professor Concedes He Knew, After The First Day, That Gilligan's Island Was Actually A Peninsula
 Bainbridge Island, WA - 87 year old Russell Johnson, who played the part of The Professor on Gilligan's Island, has finally come forward to confirm a rumor that has been contended for years.  Johnson admitted, Friday, that he was aware that Gilligan's Island was no island at all.  Five years ago, real scientists discovered that Gilligan's Island was in fact a peninsula.  Johnson has always denied that he knew of the land route to safety.
"Yes, I knew from day one that it was not an island," confirmed Johnson.  "After we were washed ashore, we all headed out to explore for escape routes.  I walked across a small land mass and came upon what appeared to be an all-inclusive resort.  Some asshole made fun of me wearing a long sleeved Oxford shirt on a 90 degree day.  I turned right back around and reported to my fellow castaways that I had found nothing.  I know it was wrong.  But you have to understand, I was the smartest one in that group of boobs.  On the mainland I was just a nerdy guy who got bullied but after the shipwreck I was a legit scientist.  And did you take a look at Mary Ann and Ginger?  I finally would have a real shot with some hot women.  I planned to tell everyone about the escape route later but I guess things just sort of got out of hand.  The longer we were there the more desperate the women got.  I am not one to kiss and tell but let's just say I will never look at a coconut the same way again.  It got a little crazy at times but I would never give up or regret my time with the fearless crew of The Minnow.  I'm coming clean now because everyone needs to know that I deceived them.  At this point I don't really care about any ridicule or backlash.  I'm 87 years old.  Kill me.  Throw me in jail.  I don't give a shiat anymore."
Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on the show, responded venomously to Johnson's admission.  "I'm not that surprised really," said Wells.  "This nerd made all of these contraptions that were supposed to save us but he couldn't even plug the hole in our farking boat.  We should have known right there but we all wanted to trust each other.  We were all we had.  I won't kiss and tell either but Russell's experience with a coconut was a solo mission.  Unfortunately, I witnessed the entire thing and I, too, will never look at a coconut the same way ever again.  It's the first day since Gilligan's death that I'm glad he's dead.  We would have gone apeshiat over this and murdered The Professor.  Not many people know this but sweet Gilligan had a personality disorder and a wicked bad temper.  It's all such a shame.  Really, a shame."
Reruns of the show continue to show up on various television outlets.  Popularity, however, has dropped off considerably with viewers saying, "It just doesn't seem as realisitic as it did before we knew some of the things we know today."

 
2013-06-27 02:33:04 PM
img2.timeinc.net

Maybe she's a good swimmer, and will eventually be found....
 
2013-06-27 02:33:11 PM
I'm sure they're on an island somewhere working on a coconut-powered radio right now. One of them probably just keeps screwing it up for them.
 
2013-06-27 02:33:17 PM

zerkalo: Illegal use of Florida tag


FTFA: Messages posted online by friends indicate the boat originally left from Panama City, Florida.
 
2013-06-27 02:33:22 PM
Best episode!
www.cemeteryguide.com
 
2013-06-27 02:34:51 PM
Ginger or Mary Anne? Definitely Mary Anne, in my opinion.

Some other neat stuff:
After the first season intro aired, with the "and the rest" ending. Dawn Wells said that star Bob Denver went to the studio executives to get Johnson and herself added to the opening credits. The studio originally refused, stating it would be too costly to re-shoot and re-score the opening. Denver then pointed out that his contract stated he could have his name anywhere he wanted in the credits, so they could move it to the end credits along with Johnson and Wells. The studio capitulated.  wiki
 
2013-06-27 02:35:09 PM
im0n.clkimg.com

/obscure?
 
2013-06-27 02:36:34 PM

Crocoduck: [img2.timeinc.net image 400x500]

Maybe she's a good swimmer, and will eventually be found....


What would we gain, she loved the sea.
 
2013-06-27 02:36:40 PM

FirstNationalBastard: fat boy: Zul the Magnificent: Mary Ann.

In the can.

And that's why Mary Ann is hotter.

She'd take it up the ass, and cook you a banana cream pie with weed as a thank you for violating her anally.

Ginger would be afraid she'd chip a nail giving you a handjob, and would scream if her make-up got smeared by a faceful of jizz.

/and redheads are way, way, way overrated.


You guys are rationalizing.  Rationalizing the idea that the more attainable-looking one is more desirable, because you know the hottest of the hot are out of your league.  You're the same guys who pick Betty over Veronica.  Let me tell you this: Ginger is an absolute freak in the sack.  You don't actually think she got to be a movie star based on pure talent, do you?  Aim for the stars, I say.
 
2013-06-27 02:36:40 PM
god i hope they find them on a deserted island.
 
2013-06-27 02:36:55 PM
I'll take a spoonful of pineapple over a spoonful of coconut anytime.


/Maryann was the pineapple, wasn't she?
 
2013-06-27 02:37:23 PM

ChipNASA: The Professor Concedes He Knew, After The First Day, That Gilligan's Island Was Actually A Peninsula
 Bainbridge Island, WA - 87 year old Russell Johnson, who played the part of The Professor on Gilligan's Island, has finally come forward to confirm a rumor that has been contended for years.  Johnson admitted, Friday, that he was aware that Gilligan's Island was no island at all.  Five years ago, real scientists discovered that Gilligan's Island was in fact a peninsula.  Johnson has always denied that he knew of the land route to safety.
"Yes, I knew from day one that it was not an island," confirmed Johnson.  "After we were washed ashore, we all headed out to explore for escape routes.  I walked across a small land mass and came upon what appeared to be an all-inclusive resort.  Some asshole made fun of me wearing a long sleeved Oxford shirt on a 90 degree day.  I turned right back around and reported to my fellow castaways that I had found nothing.  I know it was wrong.  But you have to understand, I was the smartest one in that group of boobs.  On the mainland I was just a nerdy guy who got bullied but after the shipwreck I was a legit scientist.  And did you take a look at Mary Ann and Ginger?  I finally would have a real shot with some hot women.  I planned to tell everyone about the escape route later but I guess things just sort of got out of hand.  The longer we were there the more desperate the women got.  I am not one to kiss and tell but let's just say I will never look at a coconut the same way again.  It got a little crazy at times but I would never give up or regret my time with the fearless crew of The Minnow.  I'm coming clean now because everyone needs to know that I deceived them.  At this point I don't really care about any ridicule or backlash.  I'm 87 years old.  Kill me.  Throw me in jail.  I don't give a shiat anymore."
Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on the show, responded venomously to Johnson's admission.  "I'm not that surprised really," s ...


Gold, Jerry.  Comedy gold, I tell ya.
 
2013-06-27 02:37:49 PM
I wouldn't go to Sea on anything less than a Batilius Class super tanker ...

/sea don't care who you are
//biggest boat possible
 
2013-06-27 02:37:53 PM
"The weather's turned nasty, how do we get away from it?"

Hire a better skipper, next time?
 
2013-06-27 02:40:40 PM
Schooner Tuna... The tuna with a heart.
 
2013-06-27 02:40:47 PM
Sing the theme from Gilligan's Island to "House of the Rising Sun"  I dare you.

Happy Earworm.
 
2013-06-27 02:42:28 PM

Super Chronic: You guys are rationalizing. Rationalizing the idea that the more attainable-looking one is more desirable, because you know the hottest of the hot are out of your league. You're the same guys who pick Betty over Veronica. Let me tell you this: Ginger is an absolute freak in the sack. You don't actually think she got to be a movie star based on pure talent, do you? Aim for the stars, I say.


Mrs Howell was good enough in bed to hang on to a millionaire who could buy himself all the tail he wanted.  GInger and Marianne didn't put out the whole show.  i know who I'd pick.
 
2013-06-27 02:43:41 PM

Super Chronic: FirstNationalBastard: fat boy: Zul the Magnificent: Mary Ann.

In the can.

And that's why Mary Ann is hotter.

She'd take it up the ass, and cook you a banana cream pie with weed as a thank you for violating her anally.

Ginger would be afraid she'd chip a nail giving you a handjob, and would scream if her make-up got smeared by a faceful of jizz.

/and redheads are way, way, way overrated.

You guys are rationalizing.  Rationalizing the idea that the more attainable-looking one is more desirable, because you know the hottest of the hot are out of your league.  You're the same guys who pick Betty over Veronica.  Let me tell you this: Ginger is an absolute freak in the sack.  You don't actually think she got to be a movie star based on pure talent, do you?  Aim for the stars, I say.


Oh, sure, she'd suck a mean dick for a director, or a producer, but she wouldn't put a quarter of that energy in otherwise. All you'd get out of her would be a couple half-hearted licks and a limpwristed handjob.

But Mary Ann?  She'd show you just how to plug her Minnow's hole, by gum.

/However, if Jayne Mansfield had been Ginger, as was originally planned, Mary Ann and Ginger would have been equal.
 
2013-06-27 02:48:04 PM

ChipNASA: The Professor Concedes He Knew, After The First Day, That Gilligan's Island Was Actually A Peninsula
 Bainbridge Island, WA - 87 year old Russell Johnson, who played the part of The Professor on Gilligan's Island, has finally come forward to confirm a rumor that has been contended for years.  Johnson admitted, Friday, that he was aware that Gilligan's Island was no island at all.  Five years ago, real scientists discovered that Gilligan's Island was in fact a peninsula.  Johnson has always denied that he knew of the land route to safety.
"Yes, I knew from day one that it was not an island," confirmed Johnson.  "After we were washed ashore, we all headed out to explore for escape routes.  I walked across a small land mass and came upon what appeared to be an all-inclusive resort.  Some asshole made fun of me wearing a long sleeved Oxford shirt on a 90 degree day.  I turned right back around and reported to my fellow castaways that I had found nothing.  I know it was wrong.  But you have to understand, I was the smartest one in that group of boobs.  On the mainland I was just a nerdy guy who got bullied but after the shipwreck I was a legit scientist.  And did you take a look at Mary Ann and Ginger?  I finally would have a real shot with some hot women.  I planned to tell everyone about the escape route later but I guess things just sort of got out of hand.  The longer we were there the more desperate the women got.  I am not one to kiss and tell but let's just say I will never look at a coconut the same way again.  It got a little crazy at times but I would never give up or regret my time with the fearless crew of The Minnow.  I'm coming clean now because everyone needs to know that I deceived them.  At this point I don't really care about any ridicule or backlash.  I'm 87 years old.  Kill me.  Throw me in jail.  I don't give a shiat anymore."
Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on the show, responded venomously to Johnson's admission.  "I'm not that surprised really," said Wells.  "This nerd made all of these contraptions that were supposed to save us but he couldn't even plug the hole in our farking boat.  We should have known right there but we all wanted to trust each other.  We were all we had.  I won't kiss and tell either but Russell's experience with a coconut was a solo mission.  Unfortunately, I witnessed the entire thing and I, too, will never look at a coconut the same way ever again.  It's the first day since Gilligan's death that I'm glad he's dead.  We would have gone apeshiat over this and murdered The Professor.  Not many people know this but sweet Gilligan had a personality disorder and a wicked bad temper.  It's all such a shame.  Really, a shame."
Reruns of the show continue to show up on various television outlets.  Popularity, however, has dropped off considerably with viewers saying, "It just doesn't seem as realisitic as it did before we knew some of the things we know today."


that's a load of crap.

Everyone knows that Giligan was Maynard G. Kreb. That he was at first on the run from the Draft, then on the run from drug lords after a deal had gone bad.

Hey, when you are living underground, shiat gets slippery....

he drifted to Hawaii, because hey, if you are going to be homless and invisable.. the weather is nice.

He managed to get a job with that Jonus Crumb guy and learned basic seamanship, and when his past started to catch up with him, he delibertly reefed the boat during a storm on a island he knew that no one knew about.

all the bumbling? it was crafted sabatoge. They never got found, because Maynard GILIGAN Kreb, didn't WANT to be found.
 
2013-06-27 02:48:55 PM
The boat left the Bay of Islands in northern New Zealand on May 29 bound for the port of Newcastle, near Sydney. The last communication was from 370 nautical miles west of New Zealand.

So they were heading on the right direction, at least.
 
2013-06-27 02:53:54 PM
i'm not saying it was aliens....
 
2013-06-27 02:54:09 PM
Those poor people.
 
2013-06-27 02:56:54 PM

vudukungfu: The boat left the Bay of Islands in northern New Zealand on May 29 bound for the port of Newcastle, near Sydney. The last communication was from 370 nautical miles west of New Zealand.

So they were heading on the right direction, at least.


cdn.static.ovimg.com

ORLLY??
 
2013-06-27 03:00:56 PM

ko_kyi: Those poor people.


I know! It was supposed to be a three hour tour.
A. three. hour. tour.
 
2013-06-27 03:02:20 PM
And the rest....

motivationalsmartass.com www.searchamelia.com
 
2013-06-27 03:07:00 PM
If farkers worked for SAC we could never launch a strike because with all the ADD here the codes would be lost even if written down.

If farkers drove busses (yes that's the right spelling)  we would run out of gas 50 miles east of Peoria, even if we had our routes in Pennsylvania.

If farkers were airline pilots .... well you can figure that out
 
2013-06-27 03:10:07 PM
Final proof that Farkers can make light of any situation, no matter how tragic or serious.
 
2013-06-27 03:10:11 PM
Where are the EPIRB's, both the personal ones that clip onto survival suits and the vessels that will automatically deploy.
 
2013-06-27 03:14:10 PM

Anschauer: busses (yes that's the right spelling)


Um, no it's not

If you're going to get critical, make sure you are correct first.
 
2013-06-27 03:15:57 PM
Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em drown.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn0WdJx-Wkw
 
2013-06-27 03:16:14 PM

kqc7011: Where are the EPIRB's, both the personal ones that clip onto survival suits and the vessels that will automatically deploy.


You'd have to pitchpole into a deep trough or break a hatch to go down so fast the EPIRBs can't deploy. At least the crew didn't suffer long once the end came.

My brother is captain of a long liner in the Bering right now...Godspeed, Tony!
 
2013-06-27 03:19:12 PM

ko_kyi: Those poor people.


They're not ALL "historical documents." Surely, you don't think Gilligan's Island is a...
 
2013-06-27 03:24:25 PM
 GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. We've all seen it, even though most of us hate to admit it. By setting its inane shenanigans on an island peopled by stranded archetypes, it plugs into mythic resonances that cannot avoid how compelling they are even as they wallow in the Just Plain Stupid.

But why are we so fascinated? Can it be that part of recognizes the story behind the story? Can it be that part of us knows it's not just the idiotic sitcom it seems to be -- but a fiendishly plotted crime drama so subtle in execution that we don't see the evil conspiracy at play? Operate from that opening assumption, and the rest falls into place almost immediately.


The clues are so obvious a child can see them -- and, in fact, many children have; they just haven't recognized what they were seeing as clues. Take the millionaire, Thurston Howell III. We know he's a spoiled, selfish aristocrat, with nothing but disdain for his social inferiors, and an innate belief that his fortune entitles him to everything. He maintains this stance even while stranded on an uncharted desert isle without a single luxury. One of the glaring questions that's bothered us for a quarter of a century is: Since the snobbish Howell can presumably afford to buy his own yachts, why would he be interested in a "three-hour tour" aboard a dinky little charter vessel owned by two ex-navy men? And why would he take along a briefcase filled with thousand dollar bills, when one of the perks associated with great wealth is unlimited credit?


Up until now, we responded to such questions by saying that the show was Just Plain Stupid. But let's assume that creator Sherwood Shwartz knew what he was doing, and that there's a believable explanation for Howell's insane behavior.


Hold that thought, while we move on to the next seeming inconsistency.


What was this supposed to be a three hour tour of? Certainly not the local reefs, since there's no scuba equipment aboard. And certainly not the local shoreline, since when the weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was not only unable to make it to port, but was blown outside Hawaiian territory. It must have been an unusual distance from shore to begin with. And still, no normal tourist site, let alone one miles from shore, can possibly explain the amount of money Howell brought with him. Especially since there aren't any aquatic shopping malls anywhere near Honolulu. But three hours provides just enough time for a boat the MINNOW's size, travelling at top speed, to travel a discreet distance from shore, rendezvous with another ship, collect a highly valuable cargo in return for a large amount of cash, and return as if nothing unusual had happened.


The inevitable conclusion: Howell chartered the MINNOW to make a multi-million-dollar drug buy. He'd paid off Gilligan, and the Skipper too. He'd brought along the necessary cash. He even brought along an extensive wardrobe, just in case the coast guard showed up and he had to leave U.S. territory in a hurry. And just to make sure he wasn't ripped off, he brought along an expert to evaluate the merchandise he was getting.


Who was that expert? Well, look that things from Howell's point of view. Where could he find a man with the capabilities he needed? Obviously, the criminal community. Somebody known to be involved in illegal drug trafficking. Somebody who might have already had a criminal record. Somebody whose obvious intelligence and highfalutin vocabulary would have stood out like a sore thumb in prison. Somebody who would have been given the kind of nickname such convicts are usually given in prison. The Professor.


There's plenty of other evidence to support this theory. Fans of GILLIGANS ISLAND trivia know that the enigmatic and vaguely sinister Professor claimed to have held doctorates in several disciplines, though anybody even marginally literate in science can recognize several of his learned pronouncements as the nonsense they are. It's easy to see that he must have been lying about who he was and why he was aboard. Moreover, he not only brought along a surprising number of test tubes and beakers for a guy on a three hour tour, but he also after the shipwreck turned out to be incredibly adept at synthesizing valuable chemicals from the local flora.


There's more. At least one of the passengers aboard the MINNOW must have been an innocent bystander with no connection to Howell's planned drug deal. We know this because Howell and The Professor stuck by their cover stories, in the face of all available evidence, for years after the MINNOW was shipwrecked. But who?


It couldn't have been Mrs. Howell, since she, like her husband, came with enough clothes for an emergency flight to South America. She had to have known everything that was going on. Indeed, if we discount her "dumb rich biatch" act as the pose it was, we're forced to recognize her as a conniving dragon lady in the tradition of Imelda Marcos.


And it couldn't have been Ginger Grant either, since she also brought her entire wardrobe, and, as a big-time movie star, seemed to have no other convincing reasons for being being aboard. Besides, her Hollywood drug connections, a natural gold mine for Howell, provide strong circumstancial evidence for her membership with the conspiracy.


And we already know it couldn't have been either Gilligan or the Skipper. Because they were running the boat, they had to know what Howell was planning.


Therefore, by process of elimination, the innocent party must have been Mary Anne, a Kansas farm girl who had won a Hawaiian vacation in a contest. Howell and his cronies must have let her on board because failing to do so would have raised undue suspicion among harbor authorities; they probably intended to dump her body at sea. But (and this is where the storyline's real brilliance begins) they failed to see that she wasn't who she was pretending to be, either! She couldn't have been! Vacations given away in contests are always for two people, not one! And Mary Anne, who claimed to have a fiance back home, had no real reason to be travelling alone. Therefore, she must have been maintaining a false identity as well --- and since everybody else on the MINNOW was frantically putting on a show for her benefit, she must have been putting on a show for theirs.


The conclusion is inescapable. Mary Anne was a Fed. If the series was a movie made in the 1980s, she would have been played by Debra Winger. But it wasn't, and her very presence on the boat, presumably wearing a wire, tells us that Howell's scheme was doomed to failure before it even began. The governemnt already knew what he was planning. It had managed to place an agent right next to him. And she wouldn't have been there unless her superiors were within surveillance range, poised to bail her out the second she'd gathered all the evidence they needed.


The intrigue continued with the shipwreck itself. Everybody knows that the island was visited way too often, by too many people from too many walks of life, to be truly uncharted. And vital supplies washed up on the beach just about every week --- which, as everybody also knows, is way too often to be a coincidence. And people capable of building huts and bicycles out of bamboo should certainly be capable of fixing a three-foot tear in a boat. Once again, everybody responds to such inconsistencies by saying the show was Just Plain Stupid. But since we now know that this is not the case, there has to be an alternate explanation. And there is.


Assume that the shipwreck, as depicted, was real -- an actual complication screwing up Howell's plans. Also assume the radio transmitter did work. Assume that Howell and his cronies found out from one of his agents on shore what we already know --- that the federal government was after them for conspiracy to commit a felony. How would they react? Simple. They'd talk it over when Mary Anne was not around, and agree to wait out the statute of limitations on the island...pretending to be stranded, for her benefit. They'd surreptitiously radio away for any supplies they really needed, arranging for it to "wash up on shore" during the night. And they'd work hard to ruin any genuine opportunity for "rescue". Any visitor who couldn't be bribed into silence by Howell would be subtly manuevered into a situations where he would prefer to leave the castaways alone. And any escape routes that seemed inevitable would be sabotaged by any means possible, by the castaways themselves, even if that meant they had to act like a bunch of ninnies. And since Howell must have handsomely rewarded any conspirator who successfully foiled an inevitable "rescue", we're forced to conclude that the most brilliant, cunning, criminal genius of them all was...yes...Gilligan himself.

Meanwhile, poor Mary Anne's life would depend upon successfully hiding her own secret from the den of thieves surrounding her. For years on end, she'd have to stay in character, baking literally hundreds of coconut cream pies as she pretended to be fooled by the desperate playacting of six ruthless drug smugglers.


Watch the show with this knowledge in mind, and you'll recognize it for what it actually is: the single subtlest mystery and suspense series in the history of television. But unfortunately, no last episode, where Mary Anne would succeed in arranging a "rescue" despite all of the mastermind Howell's attempts to stop her, was ever filmed, so the show keeps its undeserved reputation for being just plain stupid. And lovers of great television mourn.
 
2013-06-27 03:25:57 PM
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.
 
2013-06-27 03:27:08 PM

planes: Final proof that Farkers can make light of any situation, no matter how tragic or serious.


Some people make jokes to demonstrate some emotional distance from the little twinge of horror they privately permit themselves to feel when faced with situations that repel or frighten them. Also, not every death is automatically a tragedy. A tragedy is a literary work in which the main character comes to ruin as a consequence of a moral weakness or fatal flaw. A boating accident is not a tragedy.
 
2013-06-27 03:27:30 PM
MOAR Ginger & Mary Ann

1.bp.blogspot.com

thecivilpolitical.files.wordpress.com

img002.lazygirls.info

www.amybethobrien.com
 
2013-06-27 03:30:24 PM
Man that would suck to flip and sink quick, and live till you run out of air; like that guy did in Africa a few weeks back. Except these folks aren't in 40ft of water.
 
2013-06-27 03:30:24 PM

Evil High Priest: GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. We've all seen it, even though most of us hate to admit it. By setting its inane shenanigans on an island peopled by stranded archetypes, it plugs into mythic resonances that cannot avoid how compelling they are even as they wallow in the Just Plain Stupid.

But why are we so fascinated?


American culture- Reruns and drive thrus.
 
2013-06-27 03:33:49 PM

planes: Final proof that Farkers can make light of any situation, no matter how tragic or serious.


ftfa:
''he considered a realistic arrival date to be about June 25''

Its not quite 'tragic' yet - 2 days late on an ocean voyage is not unusual.
Especially one where they had to batten down the hatches and ride out a storm.
I'm hoping its just their phone/aerial having problems.
 
2013-06-27 03:34:19 PM

Highroller48: Sing the theme from Gilligan's Island to "House of the Rising Sun"  I dare you.

Happy Earworm.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKN1gmkVzsY

Happy listening!

Hint: Relevant audio goodness starts at about 3:10
 
2013-06-27 03:44:20 PM

Evil High Priest:  GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. We've all seen it, even though most of us hate to admit it. By setting its inane shenanigans on an island peopled by stranded archetypes, it plugs into mythic resonances that cannot avoid how compelling they are even as they wallow in the Just Plain Stupid.

But why are we so fascinated? Can it be that part of recognizes the story behind the story? Can it be that part of us knows it's not just the idiotic sitcom it seems to be -- but a fiendishly plotted crime drama so subtle in execution that we don't see the evil conspiracy at play? Operate from that opening assumption, and the rest falls into place almost immediately.


The clues are so obvious a child can see them -- and, in fact, many children have; they just haven't recognized what they were seeing as clues. Take the millionaire, Thurston Howell III. We know he's a spoiled, selfish aristocrat, with nothing but disdain for his social inferiors, and an innate belief that his fortune entitles him to everything. He maintains this stance even while stranded on an uncharted desert isle without a single luxury. One of the glaring questions that's bothered us for a quarter of a century is: Since the snobbish Howell can presumably afford to buy his own yachts, why would he be interested in a "three-hour tour" aboard a dinky little charter vessel owned by two ex-navy men? And why would he take along a briefcase filled with thousand dollar bills, when one of the perks associated with great wealth is unlimited credit?


Up until now, we responded to such questions by saying that the show was Just Plain Stupid. But let's assume that creator Sherwood Shwartz knew what he was doing, and that there's a believable explanation for Howell's insane behavior.


Hold that thought, while we move on to the next seeming inconsistency.


What was this supposed to be a three hour tour of? Certainly not the local reefs, since there's no scuba equipment aboard. And certainly not the local shoreline, since when the weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was not only unable to make it to port, but was blown outside Hawaiian territory. It must have been an unusual distance from shore to begin with. And still, no normal tourist site, let alone one miles from shore, can possibly explain the amount of money Howell brought with him. Especially since there aren't any aquatic shopping malls anywhere near Honolulu. But three hours provides just enough time for a boat the MINNOW's size, travelling at top speed, to travel a discreet distance from shore, rendezvous with another ship, collect a highly valuable cargo in return for a large amount of cash, and return as if nothing unusual had happened.


The inevitable conclusion: Howell chartered the MINNOW to make a multi-million-dollar drug buy. He'd paid off Gilligan, and the Skipper too. He'd brought along the necessary cash. He even brought along an extensive wardrobe, just in case the coast guard showed up and he had to leave U.S. territory in a hurry. And just to make sure he wasn't ripped off, he brought along an expert to evaluate the merchandise he was getting.


Who was that expert? Well, look that things from Howell's point of view. Where could he find a man with the capabilities he needed? Obviously, the criminal community. Somebody known to be involved in illegal drug trafficking. Somebody who might have already had a criminal record. Somebody whose obvious intelligence and highfalutin vocabulary would have stood out like a sore thumb in prison. Somebody who would have been given the kind of nickname such convicts are usually given in prison. The Professor.


There's plenty of other evidence to support this theory. Fans of GILLIGANS ISLAND trivia know that the enigmatic and vaguely sinister Professor claimed to have held doctorates in several disciplines, though anybody even marginally literate in science can recognize several of his learned pronouncements as the nonsense they are. It's easy to see that he must have been lying about who he was and why he was aboard. Moreover, he not only brought along a surprising number of test tubes and beakers for a guy on a three hour tour, but he also after the shipwreck turned out to be incredibly adept at synthesizing valuable chemicals from the local flora.


There's more. At least one of the passengers aboard the MINNOW must have been an innocent bystander with no connection to Howell's planned drug deal. We know this because Howell and The Professor stuck by their cover stories, in the face of all available evidence, for years after the MINNOW was shipwrecked. But who?


It couldn't have been Mrs. Howell, since she, like her husband, came with enough clothes for an emergency flight to South America. She had to have known everything that was going on. Indeed, if we discount her "dumb rich biatch" act as the pose it was, we're forced to recognize her as a conniving dragon lady in the tradition of Imelda Marcos.


And it couldn't have been Ginger Grant either, since she also brought her entire wardrobe, and, as a big-time movie star, seemed to have no other convincing reasons for being being aboard. Besides, her Hollywood drug connections, a natural gold mine for Howell, provide strong circumstancial evidence for her membership with the conspiracy.


And we already know it couldn't have been either Gilligan or the Skipper. Because they were running the boat, they had to know what Howell was planning.


Therefore, by process of elimination, the innocent party must have been Mary Anne, a Kansas farm girl who had won a Hawaiian vacation in a contest. Howell and his cronies must have let her on board because failing to do so would have raised undue suspicion among harbor authorities; they probably intended to dump her body at sea. But (and this is where the storyline's real brilliance begins) they failed to see that she wasn't who she was pretending to be, either! She couldn't have been! Vacations given away in contests are always for two people, not one! And Mary Anne, who claimed to have a fiance back home, had no real reason to be travelling alone. Therefore, she must have been maintaining a false identity as well --- and since everybody else on the MINNOW was frantically putting on a show for her benefit, she must have been putting on a show for theirs.


The conclusion is inescapable. Mary Anne was a Fed. If the series was a movie made in the 1980s, she would have been played by Debra Winger. But it wasn't, and her very presence on the boat, presumably wearing a wire, tells us that Howell's scheme was doomed to failure before it even began. The governemnt already knew what he was planning. It had managed to place an agent right next to him. And she wouldn't have been there unless her superiors were within surveillance range, poised to bail her out the second she'd gathered all the evidence they needed.


The intrigue continued with the shipwreck itself. Everybody knows that the island was visited way too often, by too many people from too many walks of life, to be truly uncharted. And vital supplies washed up on the beach just about every week --- which, as everybody also knows, is way too often to be a coincidence. And people capable of building huts and bicycles out of bamboo should certainly be capable of fixing a three-foot tear in a boat. Once again, everybody responds to such inconsistencies by saying the show was Just Plain Stupid. But since we now know that this is not the case, there has to be an alternate explanation. And there is.


Assume that the shipwreck, as depicted, was real -- an actual complication screwing up Howell's plans. Also assume the radio transmitter did work. Assume that Howell and his cronies found out from one of his agents on shore what we already know --- that the federal government was after them for conspiracy to commit a felony. How would they react? Simple. They'd talk it over when Mary Anne was not around, and agree to wait out the statute of limitations on the island...pretending to be stranded, for her benefit. They'd surreptitiously radio away for any supplies they really needed, arranging for it to "wash up on shore" during the night. And they'd work hard to ruin any genuine opportunity for "rescue". Any visitor who couldn't be bribed into silence by Howell would be subtly manuevered into a situations where he would prefer to leave the castaways alone. And any escape routes that seemed inevitable would be sabotaged by any means possible, by the castaways themselves, even if that meant they had to act like a bunch of ninnies. And since Howell must have handsomely rewarded any conspirator who successfully foiled an inevitable "rescue", we're forced to conclude that the most brilliant, cunning, criminal genius of them all was...yes...Gilligan himself.

Meanwhile, poor Mary Anne's life would depend upon successfully hiding her own secret from the den of thieves surrounding her. For years on end, she'd have to stay in character, baking literally hundreds of coconut cream pies as she pretended to be fooled by the desperate playacting of six ruthless drug smugglers.


Watch the show with this knowledge in mind, and you'll recognize it for what it actually is: the single subtlest mystery and suspense series in the history of television. But unfortunately, no last episode, where Mary Anne would succeed in arranging a "rescue" despite all of the mastermind Howell's attempts to stop her, was ever filmed, so the show keeps its undeserved reputation for being just plain stupid. And lovers of great television mourn.


wonderful.....

we need to crowd source all this stuff together so we can come up with a far better "gritty reboot" of Giligans island than Lost ever could be
 
2013-06-27 03:44:24 PM

Evil High Priest: GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. We've all seen it, even though most of us hate to admit it. By setting its inane shenanigans on an island peopled by stranded archetypes, ...(Wall of text)


Hold that thought, while we move on to the next seeming inconsistency.


What was this supposed to be a three hour tour of? Certainly not the local reefs, since there's no scuba equipment aboard. And certainly not the local shoreline, since when the w ...


You know this is Fark, don't you? Nothing longer than what can be read during the average crap is allowed. I almost popped a hemi trying to read that.
 
2013-06-27 03:58:37 PM

Mikeyworld: Evil High Priest: GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. We've all seen it, even though most of us hate to admit it. By setting its inane shenanigans on an island peopled by stranded archetypes, ...(Wall of text)


Hold that thought, while we move on to the next seeming inconsistency.


What was this supposed to be a three hour tour of? Certainly not the local reefs, since there's no scuba equipment aboard. And certainly not the local shoreline, since when the w ...

You know this is Fark, don't you? Nothing longer than what can be read during the average crap is allowed. I almost popped a hemi trying to read that.


I risk my life getting this out of East Germany, and this is the thanks I get?! Crap more slowly.
 
2013-06-27 03:58:58 PM

Uisce Beatha: Anschauer: busses (yes that's the right spelling)

Um, no it's not

If you're going to get critical, make sure you are correct first.


http://grammarist.com/spelling/buses-busses/
you're welcome.
 
2013-06-27 03:59:00 PM
That's a sailboat, not a schooner!
 
2013-06-27 04:00:27 PM

James_Corn: Uisce Beatha: Anschauer: busses (yes that's the right spelling)

Um, no it's not

If you're going to get critical, make sure you are correct first.

http://grammarist.com/spelling/buses-busses/
you're welcome.


You realize I linked to the exact same thing, right?
 
2013-06-27 04:10:20 PM
ChipNASA: Reruns of the show continue to show up on various television outlets.

Actually, I have not been able to find any channel that runs Gilligan's Island for a few years now, out of a choice of hundreds of cable networks. What gives; is the show's syndication expired or something?

It's a shame, cause I'd like the kids to see a few episodes while they're still young enough to appreciate them.
 
2013-06-27 04:14:45 PM

reillan: It's not a sailboat, it's a schooner!


Nick Spiceyweiner: That's a sailboat, not a schooner!


A schooner is a sailboat stupid heads
 
2013-06-27 04:16:24 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: [Mary Ann], [Ginger]

p51d007: And the rest.... [Mary Ann]

ChipNASA: [MOAR Ginger & Mary Ann]


Yeah, in addition to the Smart and Funny buttons, we need a Hot button.
 
2013-06-27 04:17:16 PM

digitalrain: Highroller48: Sing the theme from Gilligan's Island to "House of the Rising Sun"  I dare you.

Happy Earworm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKN1gmkVzsY

Happy listening!

Hint: Relevant audio goodness starts at about 3:10


I always preferred to take the stairway....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTCYLbFxTpI
 
2013-06-27 04:19:23 PM

kagemaru026: i'm not saying it was aliens....


ts1.mm.bing.net
 
2013-06-27 04:21:40 PM
www.chud.com
 
2013-06-27 04:23:20 PM

FirstNationalBastard: She'd take it up the ass, and cook you a banana cream pie with weed as a thank you for violating her anally.


FAP
 
2013-06-27 04:23:22 PM
My money is on the 17yr old American girl and the 35yr old Brit turning-up on some deserted island with a blue lagoon.
 
2013-06-27 04:31:41 PM
Now I'm hungry for banana cream pie.
 
2013-06-27 04:33:42 PM

Uisce Beatha: James_Corn: Uisce Beatha: Anschauer: busses (yes that's the right spelling)

Um, no it's not

If you're going to get critical, make sure you are correct first.

http://grammarist.com/spelling/buses-busses/
you're welcome.

You realize I linked to the exact same thing, right?


Sure didn't! Didn't realize it was 3 separate links. Apologies.
 
2013-06-27 04:35:44 PM

calbert: [im0n.clkimg.com image 620x200]

/obscure?


YES.

There is not a single person under the age of 25 who knows what that is, or what jingle OP is singing.
 
2013-06-27 04:38:20 PM
 
2013-06-27 04:42:33 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
shame on you for making me post this first
 
2013-06-27 04:43:53 PM

haterade: reillan: It's not a sailboat, it's a schooner!

Nick Spiceyweiner: That's a sailboat, not a schooner!

A schooner is a sailboat stupid heads


I'm watching that when i get home now!
 
2013-06-27 05:14:04 PM

Evil High Priest:  GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. We've all seen it, even though most of us hate to admit it. By setting its inane shenanigans on an island peopled by stranded archetypes, it plugs into mythic resonances that cannot avoid how compelling they are even as they wallow in the Just Plain Stupid.

But why are we so fascinated? Can it be that part of recognizes the story behind the story? Can it be that part of us knows it's not just the idiotic sitcom it seems to be -- but a fiendishly plotted crime drama so subtle in execution that we don't see the evil conspiracy at play? Operate from that opening assumption, and the rest falls into place almost immediately.


The clues are so obvious a child can see them -- and, in fact, many children have; they just haven't recognized what they were seeing as clues. Take the millionaire, Thurston Howell III. We know he's a spoiled, selfish aristocrat, with nothing but disdain for his social inferiors, and an innate belief that his fortune entitles him to everything. He maintains this stance even while stranded on an uncharted desert isle without a single luxury. One of the glaring questions that's bothered us for a quarter of a century is: Since the snobbish Howell can presumably afford to buy his own yachts, why would he be interested in a "three-hour tour" aboard a dinky little charter vessel owned by two ex-navy men? And why would he take along a briefcase filled with thousand dollar bills, when one of the perks associated with great wealth is unlimited credit?


Up until now, we responded to such questions .......



Not the first time I've heard of this. I'm pretty sure that theory came from this little known documentary.
 
2013-06-27 06:03:04 PM
">http://www.homelandsecuritynewswire.com/germans-publish-rogue-w ave-atl as

The resulting one million images were then processed to calculate wave heights. Among the areas featuring rogue waves were those off the southwest coast of Greenland, in the North Pacific, in the Pacific Ocean southwest of Australia, and near the Cape Horn.

So the Germans analyzed the satellite radar data and found that there were areas of the oceans where rogue waves were more prevalent and one of them was around Australia.
 
2013-06-27 06:14:47 PM

Highroller48: Sing the theme from Gilligan's Island to "House of the Rising Sun"  I dare you.

Happy Earworm.


It also works with Ghost Riders in the Sky, Beethoven's 9th, and Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech.
 
2013-06-27 06:31:36 PM
It just occurred to me...shouldn't the S.S. Minnow have been rightfully called the M.V. Minnow? Curious minds...
 
2013-06-27 06:32:26 PM

FarkingReading: Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em drown.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn0WdJx-Wkw


Was going to post this. Good jerb.
 
2013-06-27 06:46:13 PM
Buckler: You're 100% correct. SS is for Steamships. MV or even MY (Motor Yacht) would be the right prefix.
 
2013-06-27 08:03:15 PM

justanotherfarkinfarker: Man that would suck to flip and sink quick, and live till you run out of air; like that guy did in Africa a few weeks back. Except these folks aren't in 40ft of water.


It would suck to flip and not sink quick, clinging to the boat for over a week hoping to be found soon only to finally sink for good on June 13th.  Sure, wait 10 days before notifying authorities.
 
2013-06-27 10:30:39 PM
1) Don't sail in the Southern Ocean in an 85 year old wooden boat
2) If you do sail, at least have a seasoned, able-bodied crew, not 17 year olds and 85 year olds
3) Check the weather before you leave. If it's a vacation, you can wait it out in a safe port
4) Now I want to watch old Gilligans Island episodes.

Thanks alot farkers.
 
2013-06-27 10:32:09 PM

DrTheo: digitalrain: Highroller48: Sing the theme from Gilligan's Island to "House of the Rising Sun"  I dare you.

Happy Earworm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKN1gmkVzsY

Happy listening!

Hint: Relevant audio goodness starts at about 3:10

I always preferred to take the stairway....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTCYLbFxTpI


That. Is. AWESOME! Mr. Digitalrain wanted to know what the hell kind of crap I was listening to
though :)
 
2013-06-28 12:07:59 AM

Mikeyworld: Evil High Priest: GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. We've all seen it, even though most of us hate to admit it. By setting its inane shenanigans on an island peopled by stranded archetypes, ...(Wall of text)


Hold that thought, while we move on to the next seeming inconsistency.


What was this supposed to be a three hour tour of? Certainly not the local reefs, since there's no scuba equipment aboard. And certainly not the local shoreline, since when the w ...

You know this is Fark, don't you? Nothing longer than what can be read during the average crap is allowed. I almost popped a hemi trying to read that.


Your loss. It was quite funny.
 
2013-06-28 08:24:25 AM
blog.oregonlive.com

NOOOOOOOPE!
 
2013-06-28 08:26:12 AM
msnbcmedia4.msn.com

NOPE
NOPE
NOPE
 
2013-06-28 11:14:12 AM
I just looked at the list of people lost.

I know one of the crew--Evi Nemeth.     Holy crap.  Haven't see Evi in many years, but was a fixture at the IETF meetings I used to go to.  Damn.
 
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