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(The Sun)   Man claims to have lived five years without food, says he gets all the nourishment he needs from light, wind and the "vibrations of God" ... and the occasional attention whore Slurpee   ( divider line
    More: Stupid, god, Sri Lankan  
•       •       •

7840 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2013 at 1:22 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-27 01:37:08 PM  
3 votes:

Trance354: others have died from trying to become breatharians(sp)?  Why?

I'm going to guess it was from the lack of eating...
2013-06-27 02:20:58 PM  
2 votes:
"Junk Food Junkie"

You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don't touch my lips
And my friends are always begging me
To take them on macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are

Oh, but at night I stake out my strong box
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth

Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me

Well, at lunchtime you can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin' a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face in a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh, yeah

Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I'm all by myself
I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr Pepper and an ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high

Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
Oh, but at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me

My friends down at the commune
They think I'm pretty neat
Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give 'em all something to eat
I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat home grown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do

Oh, folks but lately I hae been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I'm afraid someday they'll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles potato chips
And a Ding Dong by my head

In the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me
2013-06-27 02:14:51 PM  
2 votes:

sboyle1020: Whaaa real food makes me not the food bro it's the strain of your body attempting to hold up the 10 pounds of gel in your hair.

Perhaps he has a semi-permeable scalp, and is absorbing nutrition from hair products.
2013-06-27 01:44:15 PM  
2 votes:

Mister Buttons: I get all my energy from my healing crystals.

I get energy from crystals too.

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-06-27 01:29:51 PM  
2 votes:
Calories come from light?   Maybe Bud Light.
2013-06-27 03:42:09 PM  
1 vote:
"Why don't you make like a tree and ... get your nourishment from sunlight?"
images2.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
2013-06-27 03:22:25 PM  
1 vote:
Who knew you could live off this stuff.
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-06-27 03:12:09 PM  
1 vote:

Somaticasual: Breatharianism is fraud, plain and simple. Amazing that people even give guys like this the time of day..

Why would he need the time of day?  It's not like he's going to be late for dinner.
2013-06-27 02:37:57 PM  
1 vote:

HotWingConspiracy: These may indeed have 5 years worth of sugar in them.

[ image 500x500]

Mommy, why do those cupcakes have nipples?
2013-06-27 01:56:19 PM  
1 vote:
Good thing the intellectual heavyweights are here to tell us this is probably BS.
2013-06-27 01:55:30 PM  
1 vote:
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-06-27 01:51:01 PM  
1 vote:

GonzoNihilist: I found a 'before' pic;

makes sense now, huh?

Looks like some farker tried the old find the wet spot in the flour trick.
2013-06-27 01:48:19 PM  
1 vote:

PedanticSimpleton: It would be nice if humans could photosynthesize sunlight into caloric energy.   It would be nice if humans had a basic grasp of science.

I'm sure this guy will attract a bunch of new age hippies and fellow scammers who will add "breatharian lifestyle" to their arsenal of alternative medicine bullshiat, like "Reiki healing", to be used to sucker desperate people.   I bet he's a psychic too.

We can only wish they'd attract more followers. Darwin's been fighting on an unfair playing field.
2013-06-27 01:45:12 PM  
1 vote:
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-06-27 01:40:18 PM  
1 vote:
The wind and vibrations were the result of someone farting in his face.
2013-06-27 01:29:06 PM  
1 vote:
How does the plastic surgery fit into this philosophy?
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