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(NYPost)   That clever JFK heist of $1.2 million probably consisted of ramming a crate with a forklift... and leaving behind $91.8 million   (nypost.com) divider line 107
    More: Followup, JFK, bank transfer, East Rutherford, armored trucks  
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13622 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2013 at 2:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-26 01:13:04 PM
Hey, taking the whole thing would have been greedy, and you have to admire their restraint...
 
2013-06-26 02:22:52 PM
Jimmy "The Gent" Burke would have been pissed.  Then he would have killed you.
 
2013-06-26 02:23:08 PM
If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.
 
2013-06-26 02:24:06 PM

Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.


Exactly what I was thinking
 
2013-06-26 02:25:03 PM
1000words1000days.com
 
2013-06-26 02:25:55 PM
You take what you can carry in the time you have to grab it.
 
2013-06-26 02:25:56 PM
Now go home and get your farking shinebox, subby!
 
2013-06-26 02:26:18 PM

Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.


"Unless they think you're already dead"
 
2013-06-26 02:27:10 PM
Hopefully Stacks doesn't get stoned and go to his girlfriend's before taking care of the truck.
 
2013-06-26 02:27:19 PM
JIIIIIMMMYYY
 
2013-06-26 02:27:21 PM
He had a forklift, for Christ's sake. Stick the thing under the end without the hole and lift. Money will pour out. Come on!
 
2013-06-26 02:27:38 PM
The right thing to do is to give "Paulie" a cut.
 
2013-06-26 02:27:59 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.

Exactly what I was thinking


Ohh and I forgot

Yippie ki-yay
 
2013-06-26 02:29:35 PM
That clever JFK heist of $1.2 million probably consisted of ramming a crate with a forklift

Standard practice at fedex freight. They don't steal anything, they do damage everything though.
 
2013-06-26 02:30:45 PM
26lbs of money.  Probably the most weight a single thief could comfortably carry without looking suspicious.
 
2013-06-26 02:31:05 PM
Still $1.2 million more than I get I get from my day job. Can't slight them on it.
 
2013-06-26 02:31:29 PM

johnny_vegas


1000words1000days.com

It looks like he was frozen in...

*sunglasses*

Carbone-ite.


YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
 
2013-06-26 02:31:46 PM

Jake Havechek: Jimmy "The Gent" Burke would have been pissed.  Then he would have killed you.


johnny_vegas: [1000words1000days.com image 300x168]


Solid State Vittles: Hopefully Stacks doesn't get stoned and go to his girlfriend's before taking care of the truck.


abhorrent1: JIIIIIMMMYYY


steklo: The right thing to do is to give "Paulie" a cut.


I see I'm not needed here, and I put that Cadillac in my mother's name.
 
2013-06-26 02:33:19 PM
Just wait and see who doesn't show up for work tomorrow.
 
2013-06-26 02:33:35 PM
Looks like someone got the papers
/got the papers
 
2013-06-26 02:34:09 PM
My guess will be it's the employee that will be "sick" the day of the lie detector tests.
 
2013-06-26 02:35:45 PM
I can't read this story without a song going through my head.

i3.ytimg.com

".....they tried to steal it with a forkift......"
 
2013-06-26 02:35:57 PM

Tom_Slick: Jake Havechek: Jimmy "The Gent" Burke would have been pissed.  Then he would have killed you.

johnny_vegas: [1000words1000days.com image 300x168]

Solid State Vittles: Hopefully Stacks doesn't get stoned and go to his girlfriend's before taking care of the truck.

abhorrent1: JIIIIIMMMYYY

steklo: The right thing to do is to give "Paulie" a cut.

I see I'm not needed here, and I put that Cadillac in my mother's name.


Well, we know this guy didn't drive the forklift.

images4.wikia.nocookie.net

/not because he had to go get the papers, get the papers
/because if he had driven the forklift, there would have been two holes, been two holes
 
2013-06-26 02:37:36 PM

BobTilton


".....they tried to steal it with a forkift......"


Ole!


the fight scene, Rocky and Ken
 
2013-06-26 02:39:34 PM
They didn't run that loot through a high speed scanner and photocopy the serial numbers before allowing it to travel unguarded?

Screw them.

In basic training, we had to write down all the serial numbers of all our folding money and keep that list on us in a separate pocket or in our sox and keep it updated.
 
2013-06-26 02:40:35 PM

Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.


You can get away with 2, though.
 
2013-06-26 02:43:01 PM

vudukungfu: You can get away with 2, though.


Citation
 
2013-06-26 02:43:20 PM
Ramming a crate with a forklift?  Simple plans are the best plans, I suppose.
 
2013-06-26 02:46:12 PM

hubiestubert: Hey, taking the whole thing would have been greedy, and you have to admire their restraint...


Very true. Pretty much what I was going to say.

What a lot of amateur or unsuccessful crooks do is lose control. They try to steal the change as well as the banknotes. They see something much bigger and better and get distracted. And thus they get caught because they don't stick to the script:  Quick in, out, with the loot you went to get and nothing but the loot you went to get.

That's how supermarkets and shopping malls get you: they've got too damn much stuff. It's like a monkey paw trap--you can grab but you can't escape with what you grab because the jar opening is smaller than your fist full of loot.

$1.2 million is still a pretty good day's work. If you have to leave behind $90 million or so, tough luck. You can fit $1.2 milllion in a briefcase, but $90 million would take several wheelbarrows.

It may have been stupidity, it may have been discipline, but they got away with enough loot, and that is the main thing if you are planning a big heist.

Entire corporations crash and burn because they try to do too much, to expand too fast. It's one of the commonest errors in business. You have to know how to be the right size. A mouse can not be scaled  up to elephant size, and an elephant can not be scaled down to mouse size. They each have their own "right size" and constraints quickly change the rules of the game as volume, surface area, weight, food requirements, temperature, etc., follow different rules of scaling.
 
2013-06-26 02:50:26 PM
There's thirty billion a year in cargo moving through the airport; and believe me, he tried to steal every bit of it.
 
2013-06-26 02:50:32 PM

jshine: Ramming a crate with a forklift?  Simple plans are the best plans, I suppose.


$1.2 million isn't too bad for a smash and grab.
 
2013-06-26 02:52:50 PM

brantgoose: hubiestubert: Hey, taking the whole thing would have been greedy, and you have to admire their restraint...

Very true. Pretty much what I was going to say.

What a lot of amateur or unsuccessful crooks do is lose control. They try to steal the change as well as the banknotes. They see something much bigger and better and get distracted. And thus they get caught because they don't stick to the script:  Quick in, out, with the loot you went to get and nothing but the loot you went to get.

That's how supermarkets and shopping malls get you: they've got too damn much stuff. It's like a monkey paw trap--you can grab but you can't escape with what you grab because the jar opening is smaller than your fist full of loot.

$1.2 million is still a pretty good day's work. If you have to leave behind $90 million or so, tough luck. You can fit $1.2 milllion in a briefcase, but $90 million would take several wheelbarrows.

It may have been stupidity, it may have been discipline, but they got away with enough loot, and that is the main thing if you are planning a big heist.

Entire corporations crash and burn because they try to do too much, to expand too fast. It's one of the commonest errors in business. You have to know how to be the right size. A mouse can not be scaled  up to elephant size, and an elephant can not be scaled down to mouse size. They each have their own "right size" and constraints quickly change the rules of the game as volume, surface area, weight, food requirements, temperature, etc., follow different rules of scaling.


Another thing a heist this small requires 1 maybe 2 people. Stealing 90 million would require a crew.  Goodfellas jokes aside compare and contrast the real Air France Heist and the real Lufthansa heist.
 
2013-06-26 02:53:41 PM

abhorrent1: That clever JFK heist of $1.2 million probably consisted of ramming a crate with a forklift

Standard practice at fedex freight. They don't steal anything, they do damage everything though.


Who wants to steal broken stuff?
 
2013-06-26 02:55:01 PM
Monsters! That money belongs to the banks!
 
2013-06-26 02:55:07 PM
Authorities believe the stunning theft of $1.2 million in cash from a Swiss airlines flight was an inside job that happened at JFK - not Zurich - and plan to give lie-detector tests to airport employees, The Post has learned.

That means it was almost certainly an outsider who parachuted away from the plane while it was over the Atlantic, and JFK will be rewarding its employees for their cooperation in the investigation.
 
2013-06-26 02:55:39 PM
Forklift operator accidentally rammed crate.
Figured, "Fark it, I'm fired anyway" and grabbed retirement cash.
Turned crate to conceal hole.

The end.
 
2013-06-26 02:56:18 PM

jshine: Ramming a crate with a forklift?  Simple plans are the best plans, I suppose.


Especially when they come together.

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-06-26 03:00:55 PM
It's funny... if my corporation had its own private jet (and all the big banks do, I'm sure) and I needed to move 100 million dollars, I wouldn't be sending it on a commercial airliner. That just seems to be asking for trouble.

Load it on the Gulfstream with an armed guard or two, and skip all the airport workers who have to handle it.
 
2013-06-26 03:01:01 PM
"Goddamn amateurs lowering the bar!"
 
2013-06-26 03:02:47 PM
If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes?  Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm..  tine?
 
2013-06-26 03:05:42 PM

Cork on Fork: It's funny... if my corporation had its own private jet (and all the big banks do, I'm sure) and I needed to move 100 million dollars, I wouldn't be sending it on a commercial airliner. That just seems to be asking for trouble.

Load it on the Gulfstream with an armed guard or two, and skip all the airport workers who have to handle it.


The weight and distance of the shipment was the problem.  Your method is common on short haul flights.
 
2013-06-26 03:05:46 PM

brantgoose: hubiestubert: Hey, taking the whole thing would have been greedy, and you have to admire their restraint...

Very true. Pretty much what I was going to say.

What a lot of amateur or unsuccessful crooks do is lose control. They try to steal the change as well as the banknotes. They see something much bigger and better and get distracted. And thus they get caught because they don't stick to the script:  Quick in, out, with the loot you went to get and nothing but the loot you went to get.

That's how supermarkets and shopping malls get you: they've got too damn much stuff. It's like a monkey paw trap--you can grab but you can't escape with what you grab because the jar opening is smaller than your fist full of loot.

$1.2 million is still a pretty good day's work. If you have to leave behind $90 million or so, tough luck. You can fit $1.2 milllion in a briefcase, but $90 million would take several wheelbarrows.

It may have been stupidity, it may have been discipline, but they got away with enough loot, and that is the main thing if you are planning a big heist.

Entire corporations crash and burn because they try to do too much, to expand too fast. It's one of the commonest errors in business. You have to know how to be the right size. A mouse can not be scaled  up to elephant size, and an elephant can not be scaled down to mouse size. They each have their own "right size" and constraints quickly change the rules of the game as volume, surface area, weight, food requirements, temperature, etc., follow different rules of scaling.


In my career as a chef, I've worked at a few mobbed up joints. The pay is always good, it is always on time, there are some perks with booze and food, so long as you keep your trap shut, and you don't mind that your half your staff are out on parole--which, in fairness, in this business is not just a feature of mobbed up joints, but pretty a fair chunk of your staff even at a really nice joint are going to have had brushes with the law, since cooks are not exactly paragons of restraint and virtue. You learn a few things, beyond the virtue of silence and keeping your nose out of folks' business, and one of those is a crash course in some elementary bookkeeping practices that aren't taught in most business schools. Another is learning some basic cons and grifts that pretty much are just done, because folks can. The thing is, not to get too extravagant. Too showy, and that brings heat. That brings attention. Even if your boss has the DA in his pocket, and the health inspector never makes it to the kitchen, you don't see the successful mobbed up joints ever really going all out to attract attention. At least not unless you're in Vegas or Atlantic City, and even then, there is a paper trail a mile long to justify that income.

Worked for a guy in Springfield. Not a big player in the area, but he laundered a LOT of cash through the restaurant. He had a decent business to justify it, and watched him write up checks to dump money into the till. Not a computerized system, it was all paper based, and it was a pain to deal with, and a pain to deal with because it was harder to parse, to collate, and the paper trail was solid. Cash went in, stuff got bought from guys who wanted their money back. Rent was paid. Heck, he even expanded when the guy across the street got into some of his buddies for a decent chunk of change because he was really bad at cards and bets. Guy took his business over, quietly, and used it under the owner's name to get a bigger line of credit, to buy up a lot of equipment, to host some poker games, to entertain in his upstairs club, and pretty much cored the whole thing out to cover the debt, and keep his hands clean while he did it.

Discipline is something that guys who are running successfully in that gray area in the law, and certainly necessary for the guys who are just plain crooks. My boss worked very long hours, to make sure that the trails all made sense. He drank, he juggled his wife and his girlfriends, certainly, but there was order to it. Organized crime is about making sure that bills get paid, that who gets paid is very clear, and favors are traded to the right folks, at the right time, and everyone's debts and obligations are well known to the right folks so that chaos doesn't ensue.

I don't work in mobbed up joints often--there are some downsides afterall--but when I do, they're always educational. Not sure I have the nerve to run a drug business out of a restaurant, and I don't have the connections or clout to launder money, and even if I had the cash, laundering brings its own difficulties, and that is best left to the professionals, but it's always good to observe and understand the skill sets. Just in case...
 
2013-06-26 03:06:37 PM

GavinTheAlmighty: Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.

"Unless they think you're already dead"


Seriously.  if you gonna steal that much cash, just light the fricking wearhouse on fire as you leave, paper burns real good and it would take a hell of a forsenic examination to realize all that fly ash came from burned up yellow pages rather than dollar bills.

And in an immutable quirk of human nature, I'm sure the thieves we high-fiving each toher and glorying in thier sucess and the amount of the heist-until they read this article, and now they're pissed at each other
 
2013-06-26 03:06:44 PM

Guelph35


If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes? Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm.. tine?


That's a good point. There is absolutely no way the forklift could have hit the crate at an angle or in such a way that only one pointy-dealy would have made an impact, like if the driver tried to go around the crate and missed.

:-|
 
2013-06-26 03:08:16 PM
"FBI agents assigned to the Newark field office were preparing to administer polygraph tests to airport workers..."
I'd be surprised if this thief is still working at the airport after becoming an overnight millionaire
 
2013-06-26 03:08:44 PM
 "Whenever we needed money, we'd rob the airport.  To us, it was better than Citibank".

[cue soundtrack by The Chantels]
 
2013-06-26 03:09:20 PM

Cork on Fork: It's funny... if my corporation had its own private jet (and all the big banks do, I'm sure) and I needed to move 100 million dollars, I wouldn't be sending it on a commercial airliner. That just seems to be asking for trouble.

Load it on the Gulfstream with an armed guard or two, and skip all the airport workers who have to handle it.


If you ever loaded me and three others onto a private plane with $90 million dollars cash you'd never your money again. I can just see it. As the plane taxis out the pilots and guards look at each other and simultaneously decide that Nicaragua was the new destination.
 
2013-06-26 03:12:18 PM
The problem now is: the serial numbers are likely recorded.  So how do you do the laundry so none of the bill show up in circulation for a while?

Broker a couple of drug deals?
 
2013-06-26 03:15:27 PM

firstinitiallastname: "FBI agents assigned to the Newark field office were preparing to administer polygraph tests to airport workers..."
I'd be surprised if this thief is still working at the airport after becoming an overnight millionaire


If you steal over a million bucks, then quit your job and/or vanish, you're going to be suspect number one.  Same goes if you show up the next day in a brand new car that you couldn't possibly afford on your salary.  Think of what Richard Pryor did in Superman III, where he steals millions and shows up in a bright red convertible, literally under the gaze of the CEO.

If this guy is smart (assuming it's one person) he's buried the money somewhere not easily located and hasn't spent a dime of it.  He's maintained his routine and plans to do so for a long time.

The detail that gets me in the story is that there was no Port Authority police officer watching over things as normal, and that this occasionally did happen.  Makes me think that someone working noticed this pattern and had worked out months or years ago how to pull this off, then just waited until he had a chance.
 
2013-06-26 03:16:00 PM

Another Government Employee: The problem now is: the serial numbers are likely recorded.  So how do you do the laundry so none of the bill show up in circulation for a while?

Broker a couple of drug deals?


Buy gold coins at Pawnshops, legal and Pawnshops rarely deposit cash in the bank.
 
2013-06-26 03:17:44 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Guelph35

If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes? Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm.. tine?


That's a good point. There is absolutely no way the forklift could have hit the crate at an angle or in such a way that only one pointy-dealy would have made an impact, like if the driver tried to go around the crate and missed.

:-|


Forks. That's what they are called.
 
2013-06-26 03:21:33 PM
brantgoose:
What a lot of amateur or unsuccessful crooks do is lose control. They try to steal the change as well as the banknotes. They see something much bigger and better and get distracted. And thus they get caught because they don't stick to the script:  Quick in, out, with the loot you went to get and nothing but the loot you went to get.

1) Do you think you live in a Hollywood movie? 
2) Have you slid across a hood before getting into a car today? 
3) What colour are your aviator sunglasses?
 
2013-06-26 03:21:46 PM
If you have a crate, with 90+ million dollars, and no security. Then you deserve to loose every penny
 
2013-06-26 03:24:47 PM

GavinTheAlmighty: Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.

"Unless they think you're already dead"


you're just a common thief.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-26 03:25:26 PM

BobTilton: I can't read this story without a song going through my head.

[i3.ytimg.com image 480x360]

".....they tried to steal it with a forkift......"


Came for the Fugitive Alien reference... and was NOT disappointed.  Yay.
 
2013-06-26 03:29:22 PM
cdn.mos.totalfilm.com
the Deal's the Deal - you can't change the terms of the deal.  Never look at the package.
 
2013-06-26 03:30:37 PM

majestic


Forks. That's what they are called.


Well, yeah. The tone of my post was meant to be facetious, as was the use of the oversimplified "pointy-dealy" (think Homer Simpson) - but thanks anyway.
 
2013-06-26 03:31:17 PM
How would someone handle that amount of cash under the radar? You can't go spending it or people will know it was you. If you disappear or immediately quit, they'll suspect you. Definitely can't put it into a bank.

I can only assume you have to bury it and wait years before you can safely spend it. Seems like a lot of trouble/risk to deal with to wait for a long pay off.

/would be a terrible criminal
 
2013-06-26 03:32:55 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: johnny_vegas
1000words1000days.com

It looks like he was frozen in...

*sunglasses*

Carbone-ite.


YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!


CSB:  I came out of the mens in the Italian North End Boston cigar bar and he was sitting there with his entourage.

I said it was good to see he had thawed out.

He said, "HOW YOU DOIN"?  DA NAME IS FRANKIE!"
 
2013-06-26 03:33:17 PM
This reminds me of Superman 3 when Richard Pryor steals the money from his company and the security comments that they will never catch the guy unless he does something incredibly stupid. Then Richard Pryor pulls up in a Ferrari.

I can just imagine the airline security guys saying they probably won't catch the guy unless he does something stupid, and just as they finish there conversation one of the baggage handlers pulls up in a brand new super expensive sports car.
 
2013-06-26 03:34:22 PM

Another Government Employee: The problem now is: the serial numbers are likely recorded.  So how do you do the laundry so none of the bill show up in circulation for a while?

Broker a couple of drug deals?


Fill up your gas tank and buy groceries. These are probably $100 bills, but the cops are going to be watching if you dig a hole in your yard or buy a boat.
 
2013-06-26 03:42:26 PM
Stick it in a safe deposit box and pull out a couple grand or so as you need it.  Don't get flashy, Live debt free forever.
 
2013-06-26 03:45:20 PM
Ecuador.
 
2013-06-26 03:46:56 PM

UsikFark: Another Government Employee: The problem now is: the serial numbers are likely recorded.  So how do you do the laundry so none of the bill show up in circulation for a while?

Broker a couple of drug deals?

Fill up your gas tank and buy groceries. These are probably $100 bills, but the cops are going to be watching if you dig a hole in your yard or buy a boat.


Nope.  That will trigger an alarm as soon as store deposits the cash.  FBI and SS will then look for the receipt and matching video.

Nah.  If and when the bills bubble up, they need to be far, far away from your location.  Hence, doing drug deals makes sense. The cash will likely be transferred a few times in the underground economy, maybe even consolidated for a deposit outside the US, and not actually used for anything for a while.  It will make the authorities tracing job a whole lot harder.
 
2013-06-26 03:49:46 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Cork on Fork: It's funny... if my corporation had its own private jet (and all the big banks do, I'm sure) and I needed to move 100 million dollars, I wouldn't be sending it on a commercial airliner. That just seems to be asking for trouble.

Load it on the Gulfstream with an armed guard or two, and skip all the airport workers who have to handle it.

If you ever loaded me and three others onto a private plane with $90 million dollars cash you'd never your money again. I can just see it. As the plane taxis out the pilots and guards look at each other and simultaneously decide that Nicaragua was the new destination.


That won't work... Stallone would climb the mountain and ruin your whole plan.
 
2013-06-26 03:49:50 PM

Dheiner: Ecuador.


I always thought Costa RIca.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXgpAkn7PCM
 
2013-06-26 03:50:47 PM

Anderson's Pooper: Stick it in a safe deposit box and pull out a couple grand or so as you need it.  Don't get flashy, Live debt free forever.


"But I put the caddy in my mudder-in-law's name."
 
2013-06-26 03:56:38 PM

Another Government Employee: UsikFark: Another Government Employee: The problem now is: the serial numbers are likely recorded.  So how do you do the laundry so none of the bill show up in circulation for a while?

Broker a couple of drug deals?

Fill up your gas tank and buy groceries. These are probably $100 bills, but the cops are going to be watching if you dig a hole in your yard or buy a boat.

Nope.  That will trigger an alarm as soon as store deposits the cash.  FBI and SS will then look for the receipt and matching video.

Nah.  If and when the bills bubble up, they need to be far, far away from your location.  Hence, doing drug deals makes sense. The cash will likely be transferred a few times in the underground economy, maybe even consolidated for a deposit outside the US, and not actually used for anything for a while.  It will make the authorities tracing job a whole lot harder.


I talked with a cop once who told me the story of a big theft that the Feds thought traced back to some local guys. The cops watched them for years, pretty closely. He talked about what he would have done, and what they might have done, and said he would fill up his car and buy groceries. The dragnet is not without logistical holes.
 
2013-06-26 04:02:12 PM

majestic: Englebert Slaptyback: Guelph35

If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes? Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm.. tine?


That's a good point. There is absolutely no way the forklift could have hit the crate at an angle or in such a way that only one pointy-dealy would have made an impact, like if the driver tried to go around the crate and missed.

:-|

Forks. That's what they are called.


You can remove forks from some models and make a unicorn type forklift. At my old pritning job we could swap out different attachments. The coolest was a giant claw that could grab huge rolls of paper.
 
2013-06-26 04:02:58 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Cork on Fork: It's funny... if my corporation had its own private jet (and all the big banks do, I'm sure) and I needed to move 100 million dollars, I wouldn't be sending it on a commercial airliner. That just seems to be asking for trouble.

Load it on the Gulfstream with an armed guard or two, and skip all the airport workers who have to handle it.

If you ever loaded me and three others onto a private plane with $90 million dollars cash you'd never your money again. I can just see it. As the plane taxis out the pilots and guards look at each other and simultaneously decide that Nicaragua was the new destination.


100 million dollars is also pretty heavy.  possibly heavy enough to affect the flight of a little jet
 
2013-06-26 04:05:20 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: GavinTheAlmighty: Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.

"Unless they think you're already dead"

you're just a common thief.


www.rankopedia.com
No.  I am an extraordinary thief.
 
2013-06-26 04:08:48 PM
Just look for the guy that keeps calling in dead from area code 809.
 
2013-06-26 04:18:19 PM

Eirik: firstinitiallastname: "FBI agents assigned to the Newark field office were preparing to administer polygraph tests to airport workers..."
I'd be surprised if this thief is still working at the airport after becoming an overnight millionaire

If you steal over a million bucks, then quit your job and/or vanish, you're going to be suspect number one.  Same goes if you show up the next day in a brand new car that you couldn't possibly afford on your salary.  Think of what Richard Pryor did in Superman III, where he steals millions and shows up in a bright red convertible, literally under the gaze of the CEO.

If this guy is smart (assuming it's one person) he's buried the money somewhere not easily located and hasn't spent a dime of it.  He's maintained his routine and plans to do so for a long time.

The detail that gets me in the story is that there was no Port Authority police officer watching over things as normal, and that this occasionally did happen.  Makes me think that someone working noticed this pattern and had worked out months or years ago how to pull this off, then just waited until he had a chance.


more likely, he greased the wheel somehow to make sure that the officer would be re-directed.  either by bribes, diversion, helping someone get too drunk to show up to work, who knows.

i hate to sound goofy, but there are few coincidences when 100 million is on the line.

/  even the simplest attempt to make off with money involves more variables than the uninitiated or unaware would imagine.

// worked in a bank.  took it more seriously than these folks when i moved a 100 grand.  i really disliked moving large sums of money.  even when it was just to open the vault for the armored car people.  and if they ever did anything out of the ordinary, like show up at the wrong time, i just wouldn't open up.  i was that asshole.  of course, if they would have slipped me a note saying this is a robbery, i'd give it all away.  as the a cynical bank employee once told me: it costs more money to the insurance company to pay for a dead or injured teller than it does to replace the money in the vault.  give it away, don't get hurt.  the feds will catch them either way.
 
2013-06-26 04:21:37 PM
Hmm...if only there was a place where the thief can go to to get a method of transport that can take him far, far away.


/bury the money they said.
 
2013-06-26 04:22:54 PM
UsikFark
I talked with a cop once who told me the story of a big theft that the Feds thought traced back to some local guys. The cops watched them for years, pretty closely. He talked about what he would have done, and what they might have done, and said he would fill up his car and buy groceries. The dragnet is not without logistical holes.


I love the information.

I can't help but think, what is the point of possibly going to prison over something where at best you can only do things like buy food/gas/home improvement supplies.
 
2013-06-26 04:29:11 PM

Enemabag Jones: UsikFark
I talked with a cop once who told me the story of a big theft that the Feds thought traced back to some local guys. The cops watched them for years, pretty closely. He talked about what he would have done, and what they might have done, and said he would fill up his car and buy groceries. The dragnet is not without logistical holes.

I love the information.

I can't help but think, what is the point of possibly going to prison over something where at best you can only do things like buy food/gas/home improvement supplies.


You know where you're most likely* to find an escaped felon? His girlfriend's house a few hours after he busts out. People don't always think things through, but if you're not committing a crime it doesn't matter that (for example) you left your wallet at the counter or the keys you lost are in your hand while you're searching the house.

* according to only the best anecdotes
 
2013-06-26 04:30:15 PM

pute kisses like a man: 100 million dollars is also pretty heavy.  possibly heavy enough to affect the flight of a little jet


$100 million is only about 2200 pounds (in $100 bills). I'm sure a Gulfstream could handle it.
 
2013-06-26 04:32:43 PM

Guelph35: If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes?  Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm..  tine?


Fork lift forks slide, ya know. They can go from here ( I  I ) to here, ( II ) quite easily.
 
2013-06-26 04:33:28 PM
I also love how there doesn't appear to be any video the relevant times/places. You would think that every inch of an airport would be covered by cameras.
 
2013-06-26 04:34:29 PM
Take part of the money and hire a hitman to remove one of your coworkers. That way they'll assume the missing person took the money.

If not, plausible deniability if it goes to a jury trial.
 
2013-06-26 04:36:41 PM

Cork on Fork: $100 million is only about 2200 pounds (in $100 bills).


Wow that's a shiatty exchange rate
 
2013-06-26 04:39:19 PM
Steal the crates, replace them with matching crates full of cheaply made counterfeit money.  Ship the original money on commercial carrier flights in duffel bags to Florida for your dad, who is ex-CIA, to bury.  Then come down on vacation in 6 months, and take a li'l boat ride with dad to move the money.  Make a movie about it, and use the movie to launder the original money.  Ta-daa
 
2013-06-26 04:45:16 PM

WTFDYW: Guelph35: If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes?  Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm..  tine?

Fork lift forks slide, ya know. They can go from here ( I  I ) to here, ( II ) quite easily.


It said it was fist sized. I bet superman did it.
 
2013-06-26 04:49:01 PM
There was that huge cash robbery of an armored car depot that they couldn't pin on the guy they thought as an inside job. They probably only took a million two in this case because they was all they could get out in their lunch cooler or something. Someone will talk though.
 
2013-06-26 04:49:08 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Cork on Fork: $100 million is only about 2200 pounds (in $100 bills).

Wow that's a shiatty exchange rate


*snerk*
 
2013-06-26 04:57:58 PM

justanotherfarkinfarker: There was that huge cash robbery of an armored car depot that they couldn't pin on the guy they thought as an inside job. They probably only took a million two in this case because they was all they could get out in their lunch cooler or something. Someone will talk though

do something incredibly stupid, like buy an expensive car for him and his wife or build a new edition on the their home or even start buying high end electronics and taking expensive vacation.

The funniest thing I ever heard was when my father and uncles told us the story about these guys that they grew up with in Mississippi who had robbed 2 or 3 armored cars in I think Florida and Georgia over a period of 3 years. These guys had actually gotten away with all three of the robberies and were living like kings in Mississippi until one of their wives got fed up with her husbands partying and sleeping around and turned him in. A woman scorned will fark up your day.
 
2013-06-26 04:59:49 PM
motoringmarlboromoetandmen.files.wordpress.com

"Amateurs," Dom and Brian thought to themselves smugly.

/Seriously, I'm the first?
 
2013-06-26 05:08:08 PM
UsikFark
You know where you're most likely* to find an escaped felon? His girlfriend's house a few hours after he busts out. People don't always think things through, but if you're not committing a crime it doesn't matter that (for example) you left your wallet at the counter or the keys you lost are in your hand while you're searching the house.
* according to only the best anecdotes


I guess once someone gets used to prison, it may not be that bad. Maybe better then scrapping for minimium wage in the real world with a felony criminal record.

Maybe they just want some real food, booze and some pussy.

Surviving on the lamb may not be all that fun.
 
2013-06-26 05:13:35 PM
Look for the girl with the dragon tattoo?
 
2013-06-26 05:18:42 PM

groppet: majestic: Englebert Slaptyback: Guelph35

If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes? Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm.. tine?


That's a good point. There is absolutely no way the forklift could have hit the crate at an angle or in such a way that only one pointy-dealy would have made an impact, like if the driver tried to go around the crate and missed.

:-|

Forks. That's what they are called.

You can remove forks from some models and make a unicorn type forklift. At my old pritning job we could swap out different attachments. The coolest was a giant claw that could grab huge rolls of paper.


You can also adjust the tines so they're closer together
 
2013-06-26 05:28:20 PM
Whoever took it should have caught the first flight Vegas and lived it up like roayalty for a week or so before they get caught
Cause at least they can have good stories to tell in prison for the next 20 years
 
2013-06-26 05:28:45 PM

abhorrent1: That clever JFK heist of $1.2 million probably consisted of ramming a crate with a forklift

Standard practice at fedex freight. They don't steal anything, they do damage everything though.


Then they don't pay. Will not ship with again

11 gage plate steel. Really?
 
2013-06-26 05:29:07 PM
What is the statute of limitations on something like this?
 
2013-06-26 05:45:38 PM

abhorrent1: That clever JFK heist of $1.2 million probably consisted of ramming a crate with a forklift

Standard practice at fedex freight. They don't steal anything, they do damage everything though.


"FEDexed" was a term used quite often at one of my old jobs.  "What about that broken computer we just received?"  "Oh Yeah, that was FEDexed, we're sending it back." Using Big Brown, we hardly had any problems.  Fedex though, that was always ugly.  ALWAYS at least one thing broken every shipment.  Very reliable, in that respect.
 
2013-06-26 05:52:57 PM

brantgoose: $1.2 million is still a pretty good day's work. If you have to leave behind $90 million or so, tough luck. You can fit $1.2 milllion in a briefcase, but $90 million would take several wheelbarrows.


Yeah, that was my first thought.  They took what they could carry in a concealed fashion.

Another Government Employee: Nah. If and when the bills bubble up, they need to be far, far away from your location. Hence, doing drug deals makes sense. The cash will likely be transferred a few times in the underground economy, maybe even consolidated for a deposit outside the US, and not actually used for anything for a while. It will make the authorities tracing job a whole lot harder.


I'd go someplace far from the US and not too friendly with the US.  Open a bank account, deposit it, withdraw it in a different denomination so you're sure not to get the same bills back.  Now hide it and use it to supplement your income.
 
2013-06-26 05:57:59 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Guelph35

If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes? Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm.. tine?


That's a good point. There is absolutely no way the forklift could have hit the crate at an angle or in such a way that only one pointy-dealy would have made an impact, like if the driver tried to go around the crate and missed.

:-|


I'm going to get the tines, the tines.

/Jimmy Two-Tines
 
2013-06-26 06:06:58 PM

Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.


Done in 3.

/Asian dawn?
 
2013-06-26 06:51:16 PM

brantgoose: A mouse can not be scaled  up to elephant size, and an elephant can not be scaled down to mouse size


Giraffes on the other hand...

ihaveanidea.org
 
2013-06-26 07:01:43 PM

J.Shelby: Steal the crates, replace them with matching crates full of cheaply made counterfeit money.  Ship the original money on commercial carrier flights in duffel bags to Florida for your dad, who is ex-CIA, to bury.  Then come down on vacation in 6 months, and take a li'l boat ride with dad to move the money.  Make a movie about it, and use the movie to launder the original money.  Ta-daa


Every plan has a flaw.   Your's was forgetting about the seals.  What good is the counterfeit money if the seals aren't there?

I used to check the seals on gold deliveries when I was moonlighting as a security guard at a Jewelry store.

There was a 4.2 Million dollar heist of platinum at a company I used to work for.   They never found the last guy, reported dead in South Africa.
 
2013-06-26 07:12:04 PM
Also, why the hell would you buy gold?

If you have no connections, don't buy cigarettes.
If you don't want people to remember, don't buy gold.
If you don't have a business, don't launder.
If you have some leftover copper pipe scrap from your home renovation, scrap dealers will buy it.
If you aren't a moonshiner, don't load up on whiskey.
 
2013-06-26 07:26:49 PM

jshine: Ramming a crate with a forklift?  Simple plans are the best plans, I suppose.


That's what they said.
old.bfi.org.uk
They were wrong.
 
2013-06-26 08:57:09 PM

Fano: If you steal 93 million, they WILL find you.


93 million buys an awful lot of freedom... particularly in non-extraditing countries.
 
2013-06-26 09:57:48 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Guelph35

If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes? Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm.. tine?


That's a good point. There is absolutely no way the forklift could have hit the crate at an angle or in such a way that only one pointy-dealy would have made an impact, like if the driver tried to go around the crate and missed.

:-|


There is an attachment for loading rolls of carpeting.Yes, its basically a long tube.
 
2013-06-26 11:27:34 PM

Dheiner: Ecuador.


or Belize
 
2013-06-26 11:32:03 PM

Guelph35: If he rammed the crate with a forklift, wouldn't there be two holes?  Or do they have some new fork lifts with a single umm..  tine?


Ever heard of offset? Like aim with one for the hit and the other thin air? You don't have to hit with both.
 
2013-06-26 11:36:48 PM

firstinitiallastname: "FBI agents assigned to the Newark field office were preparing to administer polygraph tests to airport workers..."
I'd be surprised if this thief is still working at the airport after becoming an overnight millionaire


Then they found their man.
 
2013-06-27 06:47:57 AM

MFAWG: abhorrent1: That clever JFK heist of $1.2 million probably consisted of ramming a crate with a forklift

Standard practice at fedex freight. They don't steal anything, they do damage everything though.

Then they don't pay. Will not ship with again

11 gage plate steel. Really?


We don't pay and don't use them out of my location anymore. Other locations still use them though so the claims continue to roll in.
 
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