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(Business Insider)   Dear Loser, Thank you very little for your demo. It is currently on its way to the lower-intestine of the talent-acquisition process. Sincerely, Brutally Honest Job Rejections   (businessinsider.com) divider line 115
    More: Amusing, mergers  
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19748 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2013 at 1:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-25 02:02:13 PM  
learn.latpro.com

Fack em
 
2013-06-25 02:02:18 PM  
Dear Farker:
We certainly appreciate you constant bombardment of submissions that have previously been posted to Reddit and the Onion but if you REALLY want to get greenlighted, you must try Sponsored Content because it is Pretty Farking Awesome.
Thanks and keep trying,
Fark Modmins.
 
2013-06-25 02:07:45 PM  
These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.  Did a human ever see your application?  Good question.  Best of luck to you trying to get any feedback on the rejection, too.
 
2013-06-25 02:11:09 PM  
What an annoying goddam website that was.
 
2013-06-25 02:12:18 PM  
I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.
 
2013-06-25 02:12:44 PM  

hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.


I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-25 02:13:05 PM  
That rejection letter from Sub Pop was Sub Pop just being Sup Pop.  I'm sure it thrilled most of the groups that received it.
 
2013-06-25 02:13:17 PM  
I love that somebody (probably the recipient) burned the letter from Sub Pop.
 
2013-06-25 02:13:34 PM  

hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.  Did a human ever see your application?  Good question.  Best of luck to you trying to get any feedback on the rejection, too.


Indeed. I'd rather get any one of these Rejection letters than for my application to dissapear into the aether, which is what usually seems to happen.
 
2013-06-25 02:15:15 PM  
It could be worse.

"He asked if he could call me Becky as he noticed my moonblood had seeped through my tampon and stained the back of my skirt, forming a bullseye. he kept muttering to himself: Becky Bullseye. In retrospect, this was probably red flag No. 1. But I was 22 and hadn't had too many job interviews, so I thought it seemed reasonable."
 
2013-06-25 02:15:48 PM  
CSB time!!!

I've done some freelance writing over my lifetime, and heard about a magazine called The Luddite (I think?), that was directed towards, obviously, luddites. As soon as I saw that, I remembered that there was a blurb about how the Mennonites in Phoenix were struggling with maintaining their non-modern existence in light of changing times, particularly with their children. So, I had the idea to pitch a story to The Luddite about this struggle.

I received a rejection letter about a month letter...handwritten...on 3-ring binder notebook paper...full of misspellings and grammar errors. The big thing I most remember is how offended the editor was and how insulting he was to me about the fact that I wrote my pitch...on a computer. All kinds of stuff about "You obviously have never read our magazine or even taken the time to look up what a luddite is". He took the time to point out a grammatical error in my proposal (which, according to me and Elements of Style it was not) and tried to point out that I needed an apostrophe in "its" when discussing the possessive form. It was that bad and awesome.

I'm pretty sure I still have that at home...I may need to frame it.
 
2013-06-25 02:16:33 PM  

smoky2010: I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.


I suppose it's a minor faux pas to inquire about salary before you've run the manager interview gauntlet, but it's at least as much a faux pas for a company to invite a candidate to a multi-hour onsite interview without first having broached the subject of pay range during a phone screening.  If those expectations don't line up at all, the rest of the process is a waste of time.

And apparently it was.
 
2013-06-25 02:19:02 PM  
Cute, charming, very good art, sufficient variety, definitely enjoyed reading, got a chuckle watching... yeah, take that, high-school-student Tim Burton.
 
2013-06-25 02:19:10 PM  
Dear John,George,Paul and Pete,

 We at Decca find your Merseybeat sound interesting,but frankly groups with guitars are shall we say "passe".
Perhaps you should try something like French Horns and pianos.

All the best,

Dick Rowe
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-25 02:19:57 PM  

poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.


When looking for my current job I had an interview with a pharmaceutical chain that is identified by three letters (the same three letters that also represent the name of an open source versioning server).  I had to travel 60 minutes away for an interview that was for a job in the town in which I lived.  So I spent a good deal of money and time to interview for their job... but they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.  I think it's rather rude to not send a polite rejection to anyone that interviews (that's a step back where the polite thing to do was to send a note to anyone that applied), but when I think someone has taken that time, spent money on gas to interview for a LOCAL job, etc., I think it's beyond the pale to not send a polite rejection.

Of course we're in the corporate era and corporatism is often the system of values these HR people live under, so you'll hear whines from them about how that is wasting the company's time.  I think it's a sign of someone you don't want to work for.
 
2013-06-25 02:20:29 PM  

poot_rootbeer: smoky2010: I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.

I suppose it's a minor faux pas to inquire about salary before you've run the manager interview gauntlet, but it's at least as much a faux pas for a company to invite a candidate to a multi-hour onsite interview without first having broached the subject of pay range during a phone screening.  If those expectations don't line up at all, the rest of the process is a waste of time.

And apparently it was.


I had asked if I was going to cycle back to HR and she said that she was leaving for the day and I would not. I had completed the HR portion off the interview. I think it was in poor taste, I had driven over an hour to the interview to. Jerks!
 
2013-06-25 02:21:23 PM  
That last one made me sad.
 
2013-06-25 02:22:46 PM  

ChipNASA: Dear Farker:
We certainly appreciate you constant bombardment of submissions that have previously been posted to Reddit and the Onion but if you REALLY want to get greenlighted, you must try Sponsored Content because it is Pretty Farking Awesome.
Thanks and keep trying,
Fark Modmins.


Chip, why are you so angry?
 
2013-06-25 02:24:00 PM  
I am definitely using "The ____ was quite terrible. It would take too much of my time to tell you how exactly terrible it was" in the near future and often.
 
2013-06-25 02:24:20 PM  
Honestly HR people are the used car salesmen of the corporate world.. I have yet to meet one that was genuinely nice or competent.

/I'm not some new kid on the street either. I have had a continual employment since 1992, with the exception of 6 weeks when I was laid off this January
 
2013-06-25 02:24:53 PM  
Learn from the rejection letters, if possible. And realize that maybe you're better off not working for the company that kicks you to the curb.
 
2013-06-25 02:26:12 PM  

Brubold: That last one made me sad.


I've seen worse. My dad has a hallmark birthday card from when he was little. It features a black child dressed in rags, with bare feet, and carrying a bindle. He says "Birfdays ain' no time fo' sorrow." Yes, it's that bad.
 
2013-06-25 02:26:24 PM  

Hoopy Frood: Cute, charming, very good art, sufficient variety, definitely enjoyed reading, got a chuckle watching... yeah, take that, high-school-student Tim Burton.


I'd imagine most any high school kid who received such a reply today would be over the moon.  Or, they should be.
 
2013-06-25 02:27:42 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: Hoopy Frood: Cute, charming, very good art, sufficient variety, definitely enjoyed reading, got a chuckle watching... yeah, take that, high-school-student Tim Burton.

I'd imagine most any high school kid who received such a reply today would be over the moon.  Or, they should be.


His rejection letter was practically an endorsement. Not bad at all.
 
2013-06-25 02:28:43 PM  
I'm pretty sure that Sub Pop letter was written by Joyce Linehan, now of Ashmont Records "fame" (Ashmont being the home of the on-again-off-again career of Joe Pernice of the Pernice Brothers/Scud Mountain Boys/New Mendicants).  It's her style of humor, and she's bragged about dropping a band from Sub Pop by playing a game of Hangman in which the hidden phrase was "You're Dropped", so starting a letter off "Dear Loser" would be right up her alley.
 
2013-06-25 02:29:40 PM  
I've been on four interviews in the past month or so, all very promising. In fact, each interview lasted longer than scheduled when they started asking about extra examples - which, luckily, I had online.

Two I never heard back from, not even a "fark you."

Of the other two, one said they "had to hire more diversity" and the other (as reported by a friend of a friend on the committee) had the committee's unanimous vote for me overturned by a company officer and instead they were told to hire someone who was more "politically correct" - whatever that means.

So, I thought that, at least, they considered me cool enough to tell me the truth. But in the case of both jobs, it was a white middle-aged male who made decision to pass me over in the name of "diversity" so I wanted to call them up and ask when they were stepping aside to let someone who was "politically correct" have a chance.

/another interview on Thursday morning
 
2013-06-25 02:30:52 PM  
Performance reviews.
Old, but still worthwhile.

(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
(2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity."
(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
(11) "This employee should go far...and the sooner he starts, the better."
(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
(17) "He's been working with glue too much."
(18) "He would argue with a signpost."
(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored...he's the other one."
(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."
(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
 
2013-06-25 02:31:24 PM  
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-25 02:33:21 PM  

smoky2010: I had asked if I was going to cycle back to HR and she said that she was leaving for the day and I would not. I had completed the HR portion off the interview. I think it was in poor taste, I had driven over an hour to the interview to. Jerks!


I had another interview once for a local place that was set up by an contracting agency.  I was on time, I filled out their form and their stupid test, and then they said they weren't going to interview me today and I would have to come back.

I didn't go back and I never talked to that contracting agency again.

Seriously... you have to remember that it's a two way street.  If they don't treat you politely in the interview process then you shouldn't work for them.
 
2013-06-25 02:34:29 PM  

smoky2010: Honestly HR people are the used car salesmen of the corporate world.. I have yet to meet one that was genuinely nice or competent.


I used to work with a woman who was an executive assistant, and a very good one too. She was always on top of things and her annual reports were some of the best I've seen. She ended up being a single mother after her husband croaked of cancer, so she applied for the HR job in our department so she wouldn't have to travel so much.

And, I swear to the FSM, she promptly became one of the slackest losers I've ever known. She was always late with our pre-tax medical account payments, she screwed up the vacation schedule so badly that people actually lost days they had accrued, and when I left that job her incompetence cost me $1,200 when she miscalculated a benefit I had earned.

So I guess the question is whether idiots choose HR, or does HR make normal people into idiots?
 
2013-06-25 02:35:24 PM  
Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall,
Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,Chris L. Jensen
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-25 02:35:36 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: smoky2010: Honestly HR people are the used car salesmen of the corporate world.. I have yet to meet one that was genuinely nice or competent.

I used to work with a woman who was an executive assistant, and a very good one too. She was always on top of things and her annual reports were some of the best I've seen. She ended up being a single mother after her husband croaked of cancer, so she applied for the HR job in our department so she wouldn't have to travel so much.

And, I swear to the FSM, she promptly became one of the slackest losers I've ever known. She was always late with our pre-tax medical account payments, she screwed up the vacation schedule so badly that people actually lost days they had accrued, and when I left that job her incompetence cost me $1,200 when she miscalculated a benefit I had earned.

So I guess the question is whether idiots choose HR, or does HR make normal people into idiots?


t.qkme.me
 
2013-06-25 02:35:39 PM  
CSB: I applied for a job with a digital staffing company back after the dot com meltdown. 2 days later they sent me back not one, but two rejection e-mails. I wrote them back, saying I understand not getting the job but did they have to tell me twice?; they wrote back, saying it was their mistake and I should feel free to delete one of them.

/just checked, they're still in business
 
2013-06-25 02:35:47 PM  
I was in the final round of a month-long seesion of interviews seated before three representatives of the company.  (Some TV ratings company who share the last name from the actor who played the Dad in "Poltergesit".)

Simply stated, I had become somewhat tired of the process.  When asked "Why do you think you would be a good fit for this position?" by the regional manager, I responded, "Shouldn't that be what you are here to determine?  I can tell you why 'I' think I am a good fit for the job but I am not the one making the hiring decision here."

The other two tried to hide their smiles as the regional manager took affront to my answer.  Suffice to say, I did not get the position.

/fun is going to a job interview where you do not want or need to job
 
2013-06-25 02:35:54 PM  

d23: they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.


Having dealt with HR from the other side, when I was a manager trying to get positions filled, they're probably just as reluctant to rule anybody out as they are to commit to anybody.  Decisions are to be avoided, as each one is a potential liability.

Officially, you're still in the running up until the requisition is officially cancelled.  What if the first fifteen choices turn out to be ineligible for the position?  We'll need to call up the sixteenth pick, who I'm sure will be thrilled that we ignored them for the past five months as they inquired about their status!
 
2013-06-25 02:37:02 PM  
The letter to Gertrude Stein was, if anything, a little too forgiving.  Three Lives is probably the worst book I've ever read.


Dumski: What an annoying goddam website that was.


THIS
 
2013-06-25 02:40:12 PM  
 
2013-06-25 02:43:05 PM  
It seems that publishers (or anyone in a literary field) are the most pompous and arrogant assholes ever.  They should never breed.
 
2013-06-25 02:45:06 PM  

Banned on the Run: (18) "He would argue with a signpost."


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-25 02:49:22 PM  

poot_rootbeer: Officially, you're still in the running up until the requisition is officially cancelled. What if the first fifteen choices turn out to be ineligible for the position? We'll need to call up the sixteenth pick, who I'm sure will be thrilled that we ignored them for the past five months as they inquired about their status!


been in the running for 4 years then! :)
 
2013-06-25 02:51:10 PM  
csb time.

I once had a good interview and was told they'd get back to me as there were a couple folks left to meet with.  I walked out of the president's office and told the receptionist I was making copies of my SS card and DL for the pres.  This, as a part of my plan to will myself in to a job by behaving and speaking politely, but also as if I already worked at the places I was interviewing.

The pres came out and asked what i was doing at the copy machine. I begged his pardon and more or less told him the above. He hired me on the spot.

Willing things to happen through action has it's merit.

ymmv
 
2013-06-25 02:54:06 PM  

smoky2010: I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.


Asking about the salary range is not wrong.  If the salary is dependent on the applicant's experience and negotiable the employer should still be able to give a range or at the very minimum explain that it is to be determined in negotiations.  In my opinion if I am interviewing someone I would be more wary of applicants who don't ask than I would be of those who do, unless it's stated in the advertisement.

It's kind of important information.
 
2013-06-25 02:57:34 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: I've been on four interviews in the past month or so, all very promising. In fact, each interview lasted longer than scheduled when they started asking about extra examples - which, luckily, I had online.

Two I never heard back from, not even a "fark you."

Of the other two, one said they "had to hire more diversity" and the other (as reported by a friend of a friend on the committee) had the committee's unanimous vote for me overturned by a company officer and instead they were told to hire someone who was more "politically correct" - whatever that means.

So, I thought that, at least, they considered me cool enough to tell me the truth. But in the case of both jobs, it was a white middle-aged male who made decision to pass me over in the name of "diversity" so I wanted to call them up and ask when they were stepping aside to let someone who was "politically correct" have a chance.

/another interview on Thursday morning


Good luck on the interview!
 
2013-06-25 02:57:49 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: So I guess the question is whether idiots choose HR, or does HR make normal people into idiots?


You couldn't pay me enough to deal with the shiat out HR manager does.  If she is late with something of mine it's because she was busy dealing with high school level immaturity amongst the hourly staff.  It's really pathetic how poorly so called adults can act in the workplace.
 
2013-06-25 03:00:24 PM  
Big tits? You're hired
 
2013-06-25 03:03:03 PM  

poot_rootbeer: smoky2010: I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.

I suppose it's a minor faux pas to inquire about salary before you've run the manager interview gauntlet, but it's at least as much a faux pas for a company to invite a candidate to a multi-hour onsite interview without first having broached the subject of pay range during a phone screening.  If those expectations don't line up at all, the rest of the process is a waste of time.

And apparently it was.


I remember turning down an interview from *large unnamed computer sciencey company, but you'd guess which one in two guesses* because they wouldn't tell me what the salary range was for the job they were interviewing me for that would require me and my family to relocate from Austin to NYC. They wanted to fly me out with an overnight stay for an all-day interview, missing 2.5 days of work at my current job, and consider moving my wife and toddler away from our relatives across the country to a city with a much (MUCH) higher cost of living, but wouldn't even tell me if the salary was higher than what I'm making now. Seemed kinda rude. I got the impression that they thought "you have a chance to interview with us, and we're so awesome you should just want to work here for free!"
 
2013-06-25 03:05:16 PM  
Dear applicant,

tl;dr
 
2013-06-25 03:06:14 PM  
Also, most of those rejection letters were actually quite nice in the grand scheme of things. They told the interviewee what they needed to improve on. The Sub Pop one was shockingly rude, of course, but that was the point.
 
2013-06-25 03:06:39 PM  

Usurper4: CSB time!!!

I've done some freelance writing over my lifetime, and heard about a magazine called The Luddite (I think?), that was directed towards, obviously, luddites. As soon as I saw that, I remembered that there was a blurb about how the Mennonites in Phoenix were struggling with maintaining their non-modern existence in light of changing times, particularly with their children. So, I had the idea to pitch a story to The Luddite about this struggle.

I received a rejection letter about a month letter...handwritten...on 3-ring binder notebook paper...full of misspellings and grammar errors. The big thing I most remember is how offended the editor was and how insulting he was to me about the fact that I wrote my pitch...on a computer. All kinds of stuff about "You obviously have never read our magazine or even taken the time to look up what a luddite is". He took the time to point out a grammatical error in my proposal (which, according to me and Elements of Style it was not) and tried to point out that I needed an apostrophe in "its" when discussing the possessive form. It was that bad and awesome.

I'm pretty sure I still have that at home...I may need to frame it.


Well, probably because Strunk & White used typewriters and computers to do their style book.  SACRILEGE
 
2013-06-25 03:08:11 PM  

poot_rootbeer: smoky2010: I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.

I suppose it's a minor faux pas to inquire about salary before you've run the manager interview gauntlet, but it's at least as much a faux pas for a company to invite a candidate to a multi-hour onsite interview without first having broached the subject of pay range during a phone screening.  If those expectations don't line up at all, the rest of the process is a waste of time.

And apparently it was.


Well, I've just been through 3 interviews with various people at a company I applied to, all of whom asked me how much money I wanted. I've always been used to discussing that at the offer stage (if there is one) so found it a bit odd.
 
2013-06-25 03:09:56 PM  
ts1.mm.bing.net
There is no way a woman would know how 4-5 yr olds like there Disney women drawn.
 
2013-06-25 03:10:00 PM  

Hoopy Frood: Cute, charming, very good art, sufficient variety, definitely enjoyed reading, got a chuckle watching... yeah, take that, high-school-student Tim Burton.


I came here to mention that. There was nothing brutal about that letter. It was very encouraging.
 
2013-06-25 03:12:12 PM  
Obligatory:
i101.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-25 03:14:31 PM  
From the other side of the fence:

My department was in dire need of a Unix sysadmin. Requirements were very exact, we had some unusual configurations and flavors of Unix. We found the perfect fit, guy with 7 years experience in exactly the same skillset, and his salary requirements were in line with what we were offering. I told HR to definitely make this guy an offer.

He turned us down.

I called the guy and asked him why, since it was win/win for both of us. "Your HR department wanted to see my college grades....not proof that I graduated 7 years ago, they wanted my grades. I don't need that kind of hassle. Sorry."

I asked HR what the hell were they doing, we'd never asked for grades before, even folks fresh out of college. "Well....he looked a little "different". We felt it'd be prudent to give him a little extra scrutiny. He doesn't look like our company's "type"...
 
2013-06-25 03:15:02 PM  

Lord Dimwit: poot_rootbeer: smoky2010: I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.

I suppose it's a minor faux pas to inquire about salary before you've run the manager interview gauntlet, but it's at least as much a faux pas for a company to invite a candidate to a multi-hour onsite interview without first having broached the subject of pay range during a phone screening.  If those expectations don't line up at all, the rest of the process is a waste of time.

And apparently it was.

I remember turning down an interview from *large unnamed computer sciencey company, but you'd guess which one in two guesses* because they wouldn't tell me what the salary range was for the job they were interviewing me for that would require me and my family to relocate from Austin to NYC. They wanted to fly me out with an overnight stay for an all-day interview, missing 2.5 days of work at my current job, and consider moving my wife and toddler away from our relatives across the country to a city with a much (MUCH) higher cost of living, but wouldn't even tell me if the salary was higher than what I'm making now. Seemed kinda rude. I got the impression that they thought "you have a chance to interview with us, and we're so awesome you should just want to work here for free!"


When I finally got the salary it was about $35k a year for an IT management position. I laughed at her. I figured I didn't have anything to lose.
 
2013-06-25 03:16:54 PM  

Rueened: poot_rootbeer: smoky2010: I was rejected at a job interview by the HR manager because I asked what the salary was for the position. I was told that the hiring manager couldn't give it out and HR had to.
I was told I would meet with 4 managers and expect to be there for at least 3 hours. I was kicked out after 20 minutes.

I suppose it's a minor faux pas to inquire about salary before you've run the manager interview gauntlet, but it's at least as much a faux pas for a company to invite a candidate to a multi-hour onsite interview without first having broached the subject of pay range during a phone screening.  If those expectations don't line up at all, the rest of the process is a waste of time.

And apparently it was.

Well, I've just been through 3 interviews with various people at a company I applied to, all of whom asked me how much money I wanted. I've always been used to discussing that at the offer stage (if there is one) so found it a bit odd.


I do that when I interview because I want to make sure that it is worth my time and the applicants time to proceed. Usually it's with high level candidates.
 
2013-06-25 03:19:55 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: Willing things to happen through action has it's merit.


You put the 'merit' in 'temerity,' good sir.

/have done something similar in the past
 
2013-06-25 03:23:01 PM  

RobDownSouth: From the other side of the fence:

My department was in dire need of a Unix sysadmin. Requirements were very exact, we had some unusual configurations and flavors of Unix. We found the perfect fit, guy with 7 years experience in exactly the same skillset, and his salary requirements were in line with what we were offering. I told HR to definitely make this guy an offer.

He turned us down.

I called the guy and asked him why, since it was win/win for both of us. "Your HR department wanted to see my college grades....not proof that I graduated 7 years ago, they wanted my grades. I don't need that kind of hassle. Sorry."

I asked HR what the hell were they doing, we'd never asked for grades before, even folks fresh out of college. "Well....he looked a little "different". We felt it'd be prudent to give him a little extra scrutiny. He doesn't look like our company's "type"...


HR at one interview asked what three words my current boss would use to describe me "best person ever" got that job.

Another interview, for Web Development, the boss said no qa, he'd fire me for production issues, and the entire job was super political with in the larger organization. Showed me the stack of about fifty other applications, Also asked about another applicant I knew and said he'd never hire him because he's to old to be switching careers. Pretty sure that was age discrimination. Sat thru the interview out of curiosity of what else would happen. Then called the recruiter and told him even if they offer don't let me know, zero interest.
 
2013-06-25 03:28:02 PM  

RobDownSouth: From the other side of the fence:

My department was in dire need of a Unix sysadmin. Requirements were very exact, we had some unusual configurations and flavors of Unix. We found the perfect fit, guy with 7 years experience in exactly the same skillset, and his salary requirements were in line with what we were offering. I told HR to definitely make this guy an offer.

He turned us down.

I called the guy and asked him why, since it was win/win for both of us. "Your HR department wanted to see my college grades....not proof that I graduated 7 years ago, they wanted my grades. I don't need that kind of hassle. Sorry."

I asked HR what the hell were they doing, we'd never asked for grades before, even folks fresh out of college. "Well....he looked a little "different". We felt it'd be prudent to give him a little extra scrutiny. He doesn't look like our company's "type"...


So a sysadmin without a full beard, eh? Well, no one can blame HR for being skeptical~
 
2013-06-25 03:30:23 PM  
I love the illegal questions that I, as a woman, am often asked - about kids, marital status, etc.  Sometimes they couch it so that it sounds innocuous, but asking "Does your husband [I'm single, but they didn't know that yet] have health insurance that would cover you? Because we would love to hire you at the salary you're asking for, but we can't afford the benefits you want" is against the law.

And these are LAW FIRMS that do this.  Sigh.
 
2013-06-25 03:38:18 PM  

Lord Dimwit: I remember turning down an interview from *large unnamed computer sciencey company, but you'd guess which one in two guesses* because they wouldn't tell me what the salary range was for the job they were interviewing me for that would require me and my family to relocate from Austin to NYC.


Somewhere along the line, it became gauche to admit that we work to earn money. Employers seem to really believe that I am supposed to be deeply passionate about shuffling papers and meaningless busywork, and that the pay should only matter as a means to facilitate my dream of shuffling more paper. If you ask about the pay too soon, that earmarks you as someone who cares more about yourself than you do about the company and your "team."

Of course that's true, but you can't say it in 2013.

The white collar world is just pure, unadulterated nonsense these days. Pure. Nonsense.
 
2013-06-25 03:42:36 PM  
I want to start a rumor that the Sub Pop letter was sent to Radiohead in 1990.
 
2013-06-25 03:46:34 PM  

d23: poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.

When looking for my current job I had an interview with a pharmaceutical chain that is identified by three letters (the same three letters that also represent the name of an open source versioning server).  I had to travel 60 minutes away for an interview that was for a job in the town in which I lived.  So I spent a good deal of money and time to interview for their job... but they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.  I think it's rather rude to not send a polite rejection to anyone that interviews (that's a step back where the polite thing to do was to send a note to anyone that applied), but when I think someone has taken that time, spent money on gas to interview for a LOCAL job, etc., I think it's beyond the pale to not send a polite rejection.

Of course we're in the corporate era and corporatism is often the system of values these HR people live under, so you'll hear whines from them about how that is wasting the company's time.  I think it's a sign of someone you don't want to work for.


I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.
 
2013-06-25 03:51:07 PM  
I have three of those Sub Pop ones.
 
2013-06-25 03:51:34 PM  
CSB time:

Made it to the second tier of interviews for a large corporation. I am a firm believer that you dont bring up money until the subject is broached by the interviewer. Well, they were going on about the benefits package so I brought it up. They quoted a number 2k lower than was posted when I applied. I asked them if that was correct and they said the would confirm with HR. We shmoozed for a while and the call comes back and its another thousand lower than what they said.

I smiled and shook hands all around and I never went back. I figured if they couldnt wait until the interview was over before they started screwing me that I would never get a square deal out of those pricks.

and...

Went to an interview for a large hospital chain. I'm sitting there chatting with the Admin and his assistant comes in and offers us some coffee. I take a cup and the Admin starts asking my opinion of the assistant that just left. Did I like the way he was dressed? Did I think the color of his tie brought out his eyes?
WTF?
I asked him if working at a hospital meant we got to hang out with a lot of Nurses, and then I got my ass out of there.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-25 03:52:58 PM  

Amidala: I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.


Well played, sir.  Well played.
 
2013-06-25 03:54:23 PM  

TheKingOfMexico: Lord Dimwit: I remember turning down an interview from *large unnamed computer sciencey company, but you'd guess which one in two guesses* because they wouldn't tell me what the salary range was for the job they were interviewing me for that would require me and my family to relocate from Austin to NYC.

Somewhere along the line, it became gauche to admit that we work to earn money. Employers seem to really believe that I am supposed to be deeply passionate about shuffling papers and meaningless busywork, and that the pay should only matter as a means to facilitate my dream of shuffling more paper. If you ask about the pay too soon, that earmarks you as someone who cares more about yourself than you do about the company and your "team."

Of course that's true, but you can't say it in 2013.

The white collar world is just pure, unadulterated nonsense these days. Pure. Nonsense.


It's not just the white collar world. I once had an employee (firmly a blue collar guy) get upset about a decision that I had made and his response was, "All this company cares about is money!"  I laughed for second then asked him why he comes to work if not for money.  I like my job most of the time. I like the challenges that it presents me and I like the people who work for me, but If they stopped paying me I would only remain there for as long as it took me to pack up me personal belongings and turn in my keys.
 
2013-06-25 03:56:40 PM  

Amidala: d23: poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.

When looking for my current job I had an interview with a pharmaceutical chain that is identified by three letters (the same three letters that also represent the name of an open source versioning server).  I had to travel 60 minutes away for an interview that was for a job in the town in which I lived.  So I spent a good deal of money and time to interview for their job... but they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.  I think it's rather rude to not send a polite rejection to anyone that interviews (that's a step back where the polite thing to do was to send a note to anyone that applied), but when I think someone has taken that time, spent money on gas to interview for a LOCAL job, etc., I think it's beyond the pale to not send a polite rejection.

Of course we're in the corporate era and corporatism is often the system of values these HR people live under, so you'll hear whines from them about how that is wasting the company's time.  I think it's a sign of someone you don't want to work for.

I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.


you think Git is bad? Try SVN! i called a bunch of their stores looking for a prescription and each gave me a different version of the same story!

/And Don't get me started on VSS
 
2013-06-25 04:00:03 PM  
This is actually a really good rejection letter.   It's not rude, and it explains why the editor rejected it.  That the guy took the time to try to help the author improve is a good thing.

I have a stack of rejection letters from a bunch of magazines and a couple of them had personal comments like this.  I loved 'em, each and every one.

static4.businessinsider.com
 
2013-06-25 04:03:15 PM  
TheKingOfMexico:
Somewhere along the line, it became gauche to admit that we work to earn money. Employers seem to really believe that I am supposed to be deeply passionate about shuffling papers and meaningless busywork, and that the pay should only matter as a means to facilitate my dream of shuffling more paper. If you ask about the pay too soon, that earmarks you as someone who cares more about yourself than you do about the company and your "team."

Of course that's true, but you can't say it in 2013.

The white collar world is just pure, unadulterated nonsense these days. Pure. Nonsense.



Yep. Also never mention that your current company is going under so you are trying to beat the pink slip. Even if the interviewer KNOWS your current company is on the rocks. It's always some happy talk about "boy, I'd love to work for your company, they are so peachy keen!"

I always want to ask: Do you really believe this stuff? That people work here because it's such a great honor? Or they wake up in the morning and the first thought on their mind is pleasing you? Is this like the old days of the Soviet regime when people mouthed such platitudes as "Resolutely strive to maintain the 5-year plan." Or that we don't mind the unpaid overtime, happy in the thought that you can now afford that new Benz.

I believe in the maxim of Samuel Johnson - no man ever wrote (or worked) for any reason but money. If my paycheck didn't arrive this Friday, I would go out the door so fast that the vacuum created would snap shut like thunder.
 
2013-06-25 04:05:27 PM  

Amidala: d23: poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.

When looking for my current job I had an interview with a pharmaceutical chain that is identified by three letters (the same three letters that also represent the name of an open source versioning server).  I had to travel 60 minutes away for an interview that was for a job in the town in which I lived.  So I spent a good deal of money and time to interview for their job... but they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.  I think it's rather rude to not send a polite rejection to anyone that interviews (that's a step back where the polite thing to do was to send a note to anyone that applied), but when I think someone has taken that time, spent money on gas to interview for a LOCAL job, etc., I think it's beyond the pale to not send a polite rejection.

Of course we're in the corporate era and corporatism is often the system of values these HR people live under, so you'll hear whines from them about how that is wasting the company's time.  I think it's a sign of someone you don't want to work for.

I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.


Yeah, but HR policies are so mercurial, it's bazaar. I'd imagine the employees at some of the worst offenders are actively planning subversion. The employees already have very little, and bit by bit keepers like management take more and more of the pie.
 
2013-06-25 04:08:11 PM  

pute kisses like a man: Banned on the Run: (18) "He would argue with a signpost."

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x588]


One of the best moments.

That and that Goddamn dinosaur raptor model I emptied a magazine into because I thought it was about to attack me.
 
2013-06-25 04:09:55 PM  
I wish I could send out notices like this...

I do the hiring triage for workstudy student applications.  I'll probably look over about 700 apps for 20-25 positions in the Fall.  Some of them need a good slap in the face to wake them up.  Txtspk, ALL CAPS, skipping questions, etc are not good ways to draw my attention to your application.
 
2013-06-25 04:10:08 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: TheKingOfMexico:
Somewhere along the line, it became gauche to admit that we work to earn money. Employers seem to really believe that I am supposed to be deeply passionate about shuffling papers and meaningless busywork, and that the pay should only matter as a means to facilitate my dream of shuffling more paper. If you ask about the pay too soon, that earmarks you as someone who cares more about yourself than you do about the company and your "team."

Of course that's true, but you can't say it in 2013.

The white collar world is just pure, unadulterated nonsense these days. Pure. Nonsense.


Yep. Also never mention that your current company is going under so you are trying to beat the pink slip. Even if the interviewer KNOWS your current company is on the rocks. It's always some happy talk about "boy, I'd love to work for your company, they are so peachy keen!"

I always want to ask: Do you really believe this stuff? That people work here because it's such a great honor? Or they wake up in the morning and the first thought on their mind is pleasing you? Is this like the old days of the Soviet regime when people mouthed such platitudes as "Resolutely strive to maintain the 5-year plan." Or that we don't mind the unpaid overtime, happy in the thought that you can now afford that new Benz.

I believe in the maxim of Samuel Johnson - no man ever wrote (or worked) for any reason but money. If my paycheck didn't arrive this Friday, I would go out the door so fast that the vacuum created would snap shut like thunder.


I work for a very small (under 20 people) company. I know everyone I work with, and they all know me. I know their kids' names and they know my kid's name. If they couldn't pay me for whatever reason, I would trust them to tell me how long of a dry spell we'd have and I'd tell them how long I could continue to work without getting paid before I started looking for a new position. The project I'm working on is truly interesting and cutting edge and I do enjoy working on it. There is still room for loyalty in the corporate workplace, it's just getting rarer.
 
2013-06-25 04:12:41 PM  

Lord Dimwit: Amidala: d23: poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.

When looking for my current job I had an interview with a pharmaceutical chain that is identified by three letters (the same three letters that also represent the name of an open source versioning server).  I had to travel 60 minutes away for an interview that was for a job in the town in which I lived.  So I spent a good deal of money and time to interview for their job... but they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.  I think it's rather rude to not send a polite rejection to anyone that interviews (that's a step back where the polite thing to do was to send a note to anyone that applied), but when I think someone has taken that time, spent money on gas to interview for a LOCAL job, etc., I think it's beyond the pale to not send a polite rejection.

Of course we're in the corporate era and corporatism is often the system of values these HR people live under, so you'll hear whines from them about how that is wasting the company's time.  I think it's a sign of someone you don't want to work for.

I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.

Yeah, but HR policies are so mercurial, it's bazaar. I'd imagine the employees at some of the worst offenders are actively planning subversion. The employees already have very little, and bit by bit keepers like management take more and more of the pie.


As a manager, we get screwed to. I work 60+ hours a week and have fought for people that worked for me (who made more than me) to get raises. Don't think that because we aren't the people in the ditches that we aren't working just as hard as you and getting screwed to.
 
2013-06-25 04:13:37 PM  

smoky2010: Lord Dimwit: Amidala: d23: poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.

When looking for my current job I had an interview with a pharmaceutical chain that is identified by three letters (the same three letters that also represent the name of an open source versioning server).  I had to travel 60 minutes away for an interview that was for a job in the town in which I lived.  So I spent a good deal of money and time to interview for their job... but they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.  I think it's rather rude to not send a polite rejection to anyone that interviews (that's a step back where the polite thing to do was to send a note to anyone that applied), but when I think someone has taken that time, spent money on gas to interview for a LOCAL job, etc., I think it's beyond the pale to not send a polite rejection.

Of course we're in the corporate era and corporatism is often the system of values these HR people live under, so you'll hear whines from them about how that is wasting the company's time.  I think it's a sign of someone you don't want to work for.

I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.

Yeah, but HR policies are so mercurial, it's bazaar. I'd imagine the employees at some of the worst offenders are actively planning subversion. The employees already have very little, and bit by bit keepers like management take more and more of the pie.

As a manager, we get screwed to. I work 60+ hours a week and have fought for people that worked for me (who made more than me) to get raises. Don't think that because we aren't the people in the ditches that we a ...


Oh I know. I was making a computer science joke and needed something to use for "keepers". :)
 
2013-06-25 04:14:12 PM  
Someday, I really just want to draft a fake resume and cover letter. Tailor it to their specifications minus one or two things and just note that I match their specifications except that one thing and mention how I Highly doubt someone is actually reading this letter because I'm automatically passed over. I'd finished up about judging a book by its cover
 
2013-06-25 04:17:34 PM  

Heraclitus: Went to an interview for a large hospital chain. I'm sitting there chatting with the Admin and his assistant comes in and offers us some coffee. I take a cup and the Admin starts asking my opinion of the assistant that just left. Did I like the way he was dressed? Did I think the color of his tie brought out his eyes?
WTF?
I asked him if working at a hospital meant we got to hang out with a lot of Nurses, and then I got my ass out of there.


Sounds like a fabulous place to work.
 
2013-06-25 04:19:14 PM  
As someone currently looking for a job (I'm getting laid off on Friday), I'm getting a kick out of this thread. I'm starting to get antsy for a couple of places who have changed the status of my applications from "received" to "eligible" and "qualified, referred" respectively to at least call me to set up a phone interview.
 
2013-06-25 04:19:47 PM  

xanadian: Heraclitus: Went to an interview for a large hospital chain. I'm sitting there chatting with the Admin and his assistant comes in and offers us some coffee. I take a cup and the Admin starts asking my opinion of the assistant that just left. Did I like the way he was dressed? Did I think the color of his tie brought out his eyes?
WTF?
I asked him if working at a hospital meant we got to hang out with a lot of Nurses, and then I got my ass out of there.

Sounds like a fabulous place to work.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-25 04:29:52 PM  

mama2tnt: I love the illegal questions that I, as a woman, am often asked - about kids, marital status, etc.  Sometimes they couch it so that it sounds innocuous, but asking "Does your husband [I'm single, but they didn't know that yet] have health insurance that would cover you? Because we would love to hire you at the salary you're asking for, but we can't afford the benefits you want" is against the law.

And these are LAW FIRMS that do this.  Sigh.



I interviewed for a high school teaching position where the principal did this. I can't remember how he worded it, but he wanted to hear about my family. Basically he wanted to know if I was married because that would supposedly mean I was straight. I found out later that I was replacing a female teacher who got caught doing the naughty with the captain of the girls' basketball team. That teacher was married with a kid, so I don't see how making sure I was married really made a difference, but apparently he thought it did.

I quit after the second year. All the teachers at that school were either drunk all the time or having affairs. Or both.
 
2013-06-25 04:31:37 PM  
CheetahOlivetti:
I quit after the second year. All the teachers at that school were either drunk all the time or having affairs. Or both.

Say, you got that address handy?
 
2013-06-25 04:35:33 PM  
CheetahOlivetti:

I quit after the second year. All the teachers at that school were either drunk all the time or having affairs. Or both.

It has been my experience that this is all teacher, all the time.  They never leave an academic environment, and this is the end result.
 
2013-06-25 04:43:19 PM  
I worked a couple of projects for a large construction contractor, and we required only a standard employment application form.

For lunch-time entertainment, we'd pass the applications around. Some were nothing short of hilarious; it is amazing the things people feel compelled to share on a standardized application for employment.

My all-time favorite was one from a younger fellow. Under "Special Skills or Interests" he wrote "I am really good with my hand".

Hired!
 
2013-06-25 04:43:42 PM  
I can't handle rejection. It's probably why I live alone and have done nothing noteworthy with my life. A letter like any of these, and I'd set myself on fire and hang myself.
 
2013-06-25 04:45:06 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: CheetahOlivetti:
I quit after the second year. All the teachers at that school were either drunk all the time or having affairs. Or both.

Say, you got that address handy?


Iola, Kansas. Beware of the janitor. He likes to photocopy his balls.
 
2013-06-25 04:45:12 PM  

Dumski: What an annoying goddam website that was.


All I got was a blank page even after allowing the entire internet to run scripts.
 
2013-06-25 04:50:09 PM  

MythDragon: pute kisses like a man: Banned on the Run: (18) "He would argue with a signpost."

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x588]

One of the best moments.

That and that Goddamn dinosaur raptor model I emptied a magazine into because I thought it was about to attack me.


ha!  yeah, i remember the first time doing that mission.  you're giving a whole big spiel about, get in, be quiet, don't kill anyone... and the very first thing you see is this goddamn dinosaur!  I totally opened up on the dinosaur... despite thinking... dinosaurs? wtf?

would have completely failed the necessity for stealth if that game was more cruel hearted.

fortunately, they knew it would scare the shiat out of people and kept it out of earshot from the night watchmen.  seriously, best written game ever.
 
2013-06-25 04:58:37 PM  

K3rmy: I was in the final round of a month-long seesion of interviews seated before three representatives of the company.  (Some TV ratings company who share the last name from the actor who played the Dad in "Poltergesit".)

Simply stated, I had become somewhat tired of the process.  When asked "Why do you think you would be a good fit for this position?" by the regional manager, I responded, "Shouldn't that be what you are here to determine?  I can tell you why 'I' think I am a good fit for the job but I am not the one making the hiring decision here."

The other two tried to hide their smiles as the regional manager took affront to my answer.  Suffice to say, I did not get the position.

/fun is going to a job interview where you do not want or need to job


I've been at interviews where I decided quickly it would not be a good fit. I've found that enthusiastically talking about running D&D games when they ask about management experience can guarantee they won't make an offer.
 
2013-06-25 05:01:46 PM  
My cousin got a pretty long and personal rejection from a huge company that probably hosts your personal email.
It was very detailed, yet respectful and had some very good constructive criticism.

He rebutted it back, line for line.

They sent him a pretty generous offer.
 
2013-06-25 05:08:28 PM  

pute kisses like a man: MythDragon: pute kisses like a man: Banned on the Run: (18) "He would argue with a signpost."

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x588]

One of the best moments.

That and that Goddamn dinosaur raptor model I emptied a magazine into because I thought it was about to attack me.

ha!  yeah, i remember the first time doing that mission.  you're giving a whole big spiel about, get in, be quiet, don't kill anyone... and the very first thing you see is this goddamn dinosaur!  I totally opened up on the dinosaur... despite thinking... dinosaurs? wtf?

would have completely failed the necessity for stealth if that game was more cruel hearted.

fortunately, they knew it would scare the shiat out of people and kept it out of earshot from the night watchmen.  seriously, best written game ever.


Too bad it was painfully buggy. I couldn't run it on my modern machine because 4 gb of ram made it shiat its pants. I had to use my P4 instead and it loved to stutter.
 
2013-06-25 05:13:11 PM  
Spadababababababa Spadina Bus:Indeed. I'd rather get any one of these Rejection letters than for my application to dissapear into the aether, which is what usually seems to happen.

We regret to inform you that the aether has vanished. We'll contact you if something appears to replace it.
 
2013-06-25 05:25:56 PM  

Usurper4: I've done some freelance writing over my lifetime, and heard about a magazine called The Luddite (I think?), that was directed towards, obviously, luddites. As soon as I saw that, I remembered that there was a blurb about how the Mennonites in Phoenix were struggling with maintaining their non-modern existence in light of changing times, particularly with their children. So, I had the idea to pitch a story to The Luddite about this struggle.


Should have sent the message carved on a wooden shoe.
 
2013-06-25 05:27:40 PM  

Usurper4: CSB time!!!

I've done some freelance writing over my lifetime, and heard about a magazine called The Luddite (I think?), that was directed towards, obviously, luddites. As soon as I saw that, I remembered that there was a blurb about how the Mennonites in Phoenix were struggling with maintaining their non-modern existence in light of changing times, particularly with their children. So, I had the idea to pitch a story to The Luddite about this struggle.

I received a rejection letter about a month letter...handwritten...on 3-ring binder notebook paper...full of misspellings and grammar errors. The big thing I most remember is how offended the editor was and how insulting he was to me about the fact that I wrote my pitch...on a computer. All kinds of stuff about "You obviously have never read our magazine or even taken the time to look up what a luddite is". He took the time to point out a grammatical error in my proposal (which, according to me and Elements of Style it was not) and tried to point out that I needed an apostrophe in "its" when discussing the possessive form. It was that bad and awesome.

I'm pretty sure I still have that at home...I may need to frame it.


Find it, scan it, censor it if desired, and post it here; sounds awesome!
 
2013-06-25 06:02:53 PM  

poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.


This. One company's system didn't even confirm the application was submitted.

This is a weird experience. I've always gone by knowing people at the place I want to work. Now I'm trying to move cross country and haven't built a network there yet.
 
2013-06-25 06:06:22 PM  

Modified Wooden Paper Towel Holder: I can't handle rejection. It's probably why I live alone and have done nothing noteworthy with my life. A letter like any of these, and I'd set myself on fire and hang myself.


Neither can I. But they all change their minds once I visit them at home. In their basement. Wearing a kraft cheese kilt.
 
2013-06-25 06:06:24 PM  
If you like this kind of thing there are several books dedicated to rejection letters and bad reviews:

Pushcart's Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections: A History of Insult, A Solace to Writers (Revised & Expanded)
Rotten Rejections: The Letters That Publishers Wish They'd Never Sent
Rotten Reviews
Rotten Reviews Redux: A Literary Companion

Perfect for bathroom reading.
 
2013-06-25 06:12:26 PM  

Aar1012: Someday, I really just want to draft a fake resume and cover letter. Tailor it to their specifications minus one or two things and just note that I match their specifications except that one thing and mention how I Highly doubt someone is actually reading this letter because I'm automatically passed over. I'd finished up about judging a book by its cover


I once was turned down by an automated system for a position requiring experience with a particular bit of avionics.

I designed that radio 4 years earlier. My signature was on the drawings...
 
2013-06-25 06:33:38 PM  
I'm proud to see LSU represented.
 
2013-06-25 07:01:01 PM  

poot_rootbeer: d23: they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.

Having dealt with HR from the other side, when I was a manager trying to get positions filled, they're probably just as reluctant to rule anybody out as they are to commit to anybody.  Decisions are to be avoided, as each one is a potential liability.

Officially, you're still in the running up until the requisition is officially cancelled.  What if the first fifteen choices turn out to be ineligible for the position?  We'll need to call up the sixteenth pick, who I'm sure will be thrilled that we ignored them for the past five months as they inquired about their status!


CSB:  I started looking for jobs really early as I was finishing my academic work.  Like, I was officially graduating in August and applying for jobs with closing deadlines in February.  One of the first two jobs I sent a resume to was at St. Louis University.  The closing date was February 15th.  I ended up getting a job some time in June (time from initial contact to job offer: 8 days) and about a month after I accepted that job, finally received a letter from SLU thanking me for my interest but informing me that they'd hired somebody else.  It was five full months from the time they closed the posting to the time they informed me that I didn't get the job.

I've been on the other side too, though.  We had one position we were looking to fill and were going about it reasonably quickly, but of the two candidates we brought in to interview, one wasn't right for the position and the other turned down our offer, so we had to go back to the pool to fill that job.  I can see, in that case, why they don't want to send out rejections until the process is completely finished.
 
2013-06-25 07:16:22 PM  
It looks like it says "Loner" to me.
 
2013-06-25 07:29:35 PM  

RatMaster999: I wish I could send out notices like this...

I do the hiring triage for workstudy student applications.  I'll probably look over about 700 apps for 20-25 positions in the Fall.  Some of them need a good slap in the face to wake them up.  Txtspk, ALL CAPS, skipping questions, etc are not good ways to draw my attention to your application.


I applied for a workstudy job and it took them almost  a year to get back to me. Interviewed, it was love, but they said they couldn't hire me because I didn't have a year's worth of semesters left to go at their 2-year college. Hmm, gee. If they'd taken less than a year to see my application I would have had at least a year left to go. And that I was on a 4-year plan (transferring to a university) and would be a college student for at least two more years.

/To their credit, they did forward my info to a small VA office in another town and I've been working there happily since February.
 
2013-06-25 07:30:46 PM  

Usurper4: CSB time!!!

I've done some freelance writing over my lifetime, and heard about a magazine called The Luddite (I think?), that was directed towards, obviously, luddites. As soon as I saw that, I remembered that there was a blurb about how the Mennonites in Phoenix were struggling with maintaining their non-modern existence in light of changing times, particularly with their children. So, I had the idea to pitch a story to The Luddite about this struggle.

I received a rejection letter about a month letter...handwritten...on 3-ring binder notebook paper...full of misspellings and grammar errors. The big thing I most remember is how offended the editor was and how insulting he was to me about the fact that I wrote my pitch...on a computer. All kinds of stuff about "You obviously have never read our magazine or even taken the time to look up what a luddite is". He took the time to point out a grammatical error in my proposal (which, according to me and Elements of Style it was not) and tried to point out that I needed an apostrophe in "its" when discussing the possessive form. It was that bad and awesome.

I'm pretty sure I still have that at home...I may need to frame it.


You should scan and post it.

I want to see. :)
 
2013-06-25 07:50:49 PM  

WordyGrrl: RatMaster999: I wish I could send out notices like this...

I do the hiring triage for workstudy student applications.  I'll probably look over about 700 apps for 20-25 positions in the Fall.  Some of them need a good slap in the face to wake them up.  Txtspk, ALL CAPS, skipping questions, etc are not good ways to draw my attention to your application.

I applied for a workstudy job and it took them almost  a year to get back to me. Interviewed, it was love, but they said they couldn't hire me because I didn't have a year's worth of semesters left to go at their 2-year college. Hmm, gee. If they'd taken less than a year to see my application I would have had at least a year left to go. And that I was on a 4-year plan (transferring to a university) and would be a college student for at least two more years.

/To their credit, they did forward my info to a small VA office in another town and I've been working there happily since February.


Ouch, that sucks.  We hire at the beginning of every semester, so anyone that hasn't heard from us by the end of the second week of classes should generally assume they've been rejected.
 
2013-06-25 08:56:28 PM  
Ack. Am currently looking and would be happy to at least get rejection letters, at that point you know that your résumé went somewhere.
Been on a few interviews, only one decent prospect.
The job that wanted to hire me was too dangerous, too demanding, and the pay was insulting... I turned it down. The next week after the offer I got a rejection letter. I LOL'd.
 
2013-06-25 10:03:40 PM  
Creepiest job interview was when I was asked to come over after work, show my reel and chat with the creative director.  On such short notice I had to show my reel on a laptop as I had no time to burn a dvd.  After 10 minutes he asked, "so, you want to work for us?"  I answered that I would not quit a 4 year job commitment on the basis of a 10 minute interview without more specifics. I said let me think about it and I'll call you in the morning. They never returned my call.
 
2013-06-25 10:51:06 PM  
Wow....

These people got answers from sending in their job application! Man, I sure wish that had happened to me when I was applying for jobs...
 
2013-06-26 12:06:23 AM  

akya: Amidala:
I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.

you think Git is bad? Try SVN! i called a bunch of their stores looking for a prescription and each gave me a different version of the same story!

/And Don't get me started on VSS


Lord Dimwit:
Yeah, but HR policies are so mercurial, it's bazaar. I'd imagine the employees at some of the worst offenders are actively planning subversion. The employees already have very little, and bit by bit keepers like management take more and more of the pie.


I told them they must, perforce, provide a strong team foundation. They cleared my case and now I'm working at CVS.
 
2013-06-26 12:40:58 AM  

smoky2010: Honestly HR people are the used car salesmen of the corporate world.. I have yet to meet one that was genuinely nice or competent.

/I'm not some new kid on the street either. I have had a continual employment since 1992, with the exception of 6 weeks when I was laid off this January


That's because their only purpose in the business world, it to screen people out, not to let them in.

I have hired dozens of people in my life, and have been rude to very few applicants.

About the only one I can really recall is having a person, I think it was male, walk in with it's own application form, prefilled out with something like writing on it. And as I was talking to this person, with the "F*CK THE POLICE" neck tattoo, facial piercings, ear lobe gauges, and nose pin, it asked what the chance of getting a call back would be.

I looked at it's resume, tossed it in the 86 file, and stated; "Not real good".

Almost felt bad, it could have been a OK sort, but seriously, the thought of having to look at that for several hours a day wasn't happening.
 
2013-06-26 12:53:44 AM  

smoky2010: Lord Dimwit: Amidala: d23: poot_rootbeer: hstein3: These days, you're more likely to just get automated messages from the company's hiring website that you used to apply.

I remember back in the days when you used to get automated messages.

When looking for my current job I had an interview with a pharmaceutical chain that is identified by three letters (the same three letters that also represent the name of an open source versioning server).  I had to travel 60 minutes away for an interview that was for a job in the town in which I lived.  So I spent a good deal of money and time to interview for their job... but they couldn't even be bothered to send me a message when they rejected me.  I think it's rather rude to not send a polite rejection to anyone that interviews (that's a step back where the polite thing to do was to send a note to anyone that applied), but when I think someone has taken that time, spent money on gas to interview for a LOCAL job, etc., I think it's beyond the pale to not send a polite rejection.

Of course we're in the corporate era and corporatism is often the system of values these HR people live under, so you'll hear whines from them about how that is wasting the company's time.  I think it's a sign of someone you don't want to work for.

I hate Git pharmacy. If you called around asking about the price of any item they sold, every store would give you a different price. I wish they would have a centralized system to store the prices so each store would not have their own prices.

Yeah, but HR policies are so mercurial, it's bazaar. I'd imagine the employees at some of the worst offenders are actively planning subversion. The employees already have very little, and bit by bit keepers like management take more and more of the pie.

As a manager, we get screwed to. I work 60+ hours a week and have fought for people that worked for me (who made more than me) to get raises. Don't think that because we aren't the people in the ditches that we a ...


You Sir/Madam, may need to look at self-employment.

Find something that you can make money at, hire a few workers, and enjoy your 60 hour weeks. Hell, I'd work 80, but I'd have to fire someone, and I like my employees.
 
2013-06-26 01:02:11 AM  

kim jong-un: Aar1012: Someday, I really just want to draft a fake resume and cover letter. Tailor it to their specifications minus one or two things and just note that I match their specifications except that one thing and mention how I Highly doubt someone is actually reading this letter because I'm automatically passed over. I'd finished up about judging a book by its cover

I once was turned down by an automated system for a position requiring experience with a particular bit of avionics.

I designed that radio 4 years earlier. My signature was on the drawings...


I was canned once, when I pointed out my new company's business model involved ripping off other's patents for tracking web traffic, including mine.

They were honestly shocked that I called it stealing.

/like they never even looked at the names on the patents.
 
2013-06-26 03:25:22 AM  
Brutally honest rejection letters?  More like brutally asshole ego-tripping.
 
2013-06-26 10:31:47 AM  

Hagbardr: pute kisses like a man: MythDragon: pute kisses like a man: Banned on the Run: (18) "He would argue with a signpost."

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x588]

One of the best moments.

That and that Goddamn dinosaur raptor model I emptied a magazine into because I thought it was about to attack me.

ha!  yeah, i remember the first time doing that mission.  you're giving a whole big spiel about, get in, be quiet, don't kill anyone... and the very first thing you see is this goddamn dinosaur!  I totally opened up on the dinosaur... despite thinking... dinosaurs? wtf?

would have completely failed the necessity for stealth if that game was more cruel hearted.

fortunately, they knew it would scare the shiat out of people and kept it out of earshot from the night watchmen.  seriously, best written game ever.

Too bad it was painfully buggy. I couldn't run it on my modern machine because 4 gb of ram made it shiat its pants. I had to use my P4 instead and it loved to stutter.


i had some nostalgia and ran the game again recently on a windows 7 computer.  first off, you need to download the official patch, and then download the most recent fan based unofficial patch.  the unofficial patches are like miracles.

here's a link to the steam forum that links to the different patchs, and provides other information on getting it to run on a newer computer

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/sh owthread.php?s=cf9cc56e3e393db 460eb6144a3f9b589&t=2025035

i played through it recently and didn't have any problems... well, almost no problems.. for some reason, doors opened really slowly.  but, that was completely tolerable in the face of the awesomeness of blood boiling people and delving into madness, talking to stop signs and tvs.
 
2013-06-26 10:58:16 AM  

pute kisses like a man: Hagbardr: pute kisses like a man: MythDragon: pute kisses like a man: Banned on the Run: (18) "He would argue with a signpost."

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x588]

One of the best moments.

That and that Goddamn dinosaur raptor model I emptied a magazine into because I thought it was about to attack me.

ha!  yeah, i remember the first time doing that mission.  you're giving a whole big spiel about, get in, be quiet, don't kill anyone... and the very first thing you see is this goddamn dinosaur!  I totally opened up on the dinosaur... despite thinking... dinosaurs? wtf?

would have completely failed the necessity for stealth if that game was more cruel hearted.

fortunately, they knew it would scare the shiat out of people and kept it out of earshot from the night watchmen.  seriously, best written game ever.

Too bad it was painfully buggy. I couldn't run it on my modern machine because 4 gb of ram made it shiat its pants. I had to use my P4 instead and it loved to stutter.

i had some nostalgia and ran the game again recently on a windows 7 computer.  first off, you need to download the official patch, and then download the most recent fan based unofficial patch.  the unofficial patches are like miracles.

here's a link to the steam forum that links to the different patchs, and provides other information on getting it to run on a newer computer

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/sh owthread.php?s=cf9cc56e3e393db 460eb6144a3f9b589&t=2025035

i played through it recently and didn't have any problems... well, almost no problems.. for some reason, doors opened really slowly.  but, that was completely tolerable in the face of the awesomeness of blood boiling people and delving into madness, talking to stop signs and tvs.


I'll have to try that. I got it off Steam and gave the P4 to my daughter a while back.
 
2013-06-26 03:08:50 PM  

TheKingOfMexico: Somewhere along the line, it became gauche to admit that we work to earn money. Employers seem to really believe that I am supposed to be deeply passionate about shuffling papers and meaningless busywork, and that the pay should only matter as a means to facilitate my dream of shuffling more paper. If you ask about the pay too soon, that earmarks you as someone who cares more about yourself than you do about the company and your "team."

Of course that's true, but you can't say it in 2013.

The white collar world is just pure, unadulterated nonsense these days. Pure. Nonsense.


Bingo.  Every company wants to have the pretty little illusion that you want nothing more in the world than to work for their company and only their company, that the job they are offering you or have hired you for is your lifetime ambition, and that you deeply and passionately "believe" in the company.

The idea that you're there just to get a paycheck, or worse, there as a career stepping stone, is anathema.  They don't just want loyal employees (for pittance wages), they want obedient cultists.
 
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