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(Slate)   Dear Prudie, sure I killed a guy, but do my in-laws have to be such dicks about it?   (slate.com) divider line 151
    More: Amusing, Emily Yoffe, marriage counsels, a history of violence  
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19167 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2013 at 1:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-25 01:54:23 PM
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-06-25 01:57:28 PM

Egoy3k: If your in-laws are treating you like shiat and your partner doesn't step up to the plate to defend you then you should be happy that they won't be your in-laws for long.


This. Something about this also tells me the in-laws were douches before, too, and this is just their excuse to take it to a new level. The guy should count this as a blessing to rid himself of these people (rather than continue to feel obligated to interact with them due to being married). And if he does stay married, well, I'd say he's pretty much done with family gatherings due to the in-laws, but I'd bet long term a divorce is in the works if she's going to side with them over her husband.
 
2013-06-25 01:58:38 PM
What do you do?  To the people who cut all ties you say, "Good riddance" and move on with your life.  To those who want the gory details tell them to go rent "Death Wish" and to stop bothering you about something that you really do not want to talk about.  For those who make snide comments or call you "killer" you just bide your time and at some point when you are alone with them you look them in the eye and in a very low voice say, "There was no break-in.  It was murder and I got away with it.  You're next."
 
2013-06-25 01:59:52 PM
Fake stories are fake.

If not, as others have noted, hey, free out from dealing with her douchebag family.
 
2013-06-25 02:01:18 PM

Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]


If I get robbed by Kevin Spacey wearing a clown suit....BOOBS.
 
2013-06-25 02:02:09 PM

Sybarite: I don't understand where she get this. The guy didn't say he was armed. He said the intruder was armed. We don't even know if a gunshot was involved, merely that there was a struggle resulting in the intruder's death. I just find it an odd thing to infer.


She forgot that she hadn't mentioned any shots when she wrote the submission.
 
2013-06-25 02:02:13 PM

Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]


How does a universal background check prevent people from protecting themselves?
 
2013-06-25 02:05:44 PM

rufus-t-firefly: Sybarite: I understand our country is divided over many issues, guns particularly among them, but surely even the most ardent gun-control activist can recognize that when an armed intruder is in your house, Robert's Rules of Order do not apply.

I don't understand where she get this. The guy didn't say he was armed. He said the intruder was armed. We don't even know if a gunshot was involved, merely that there was a struggle resulting in the intruder's death. I just find it an odd thing to infer.

From his letter:

He had broken into my home, armed


The armed part is there, but she seems to have made this about guns completely on her own.  It's hardly surprising.  I came across three separate sources yesterday who were blaming the whole Aaron Hernandez situation on guns.
 
2013-06-25 02:05:55 PM
Devo:

How does a universal background check prevent people from protecting themselves?

i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-25 02:06:17 PM
Next time they mention it, tell 'em "You're next".
 
2013-06-25 02:06:36 PM
Dear Killer,

I read somewhere that one in 1,000 Americans is a murderer. I don't recall if they were counting self-defence or just illegal homicides. But when you walk down the street, these are the people that you meet, they are people that you meet each day. Sorry. Having a flashback to my Sesame Street watching days. Those were good times. I would have stayed at college forever if the money had held out.

Any hoo, you are part of a big club, no pun intended. A lot of Americans have killed and would kill again given the opportunity. While trying to confirm my stat above, I discovered that North America accounts for 80% of serial killers, while Europe only accounts for 16%. Everybody else: Africa, Asia, South America, and presumably Australia and Antarctica, account for 4%.

Makes you think. Clearly guns do not kill people. North Americans kill people. THEY SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP SAFELY WHERE THEY CAN'T HURT ANYBODY.

Hey, maybe that is why Obama has drones ready to kill every single damn one of us on the slightest whim of our heavily-screened security personnel. Well, I can't really say they are heavily-screened. I HOPE they are heavily-screened. Most of them are North Americans. They can't be trusted with a trigger. Or else why is Whatzit headed towards the relative safety of Ecuador?

But I digress.

Shoot everybody who looks at your sidewalk suspiciously. It's the only solution.

But back to your problem, Killer. Your inlaws are jerks. It might be considered justifiable homicide if you killed them all. But since you say that your wife is attached to some of the morans, here's what you do. Everytime you are out with some of your inlaws, play a little game. Try to guess who the murdererers are among the people that you meet. Take your inlaws to places where thousands of people are gathered, such as concerts, Veteran's Day parades, the Fourth of July and play the Guess Who the Murderers Are Game. Offer a gun or knife as a prize.

They'll get the message. Especially if you guess one of them, their friends or relatives. You do have expertise after all. Well, not really, but they won't think that.
 
2013-06-25 02:07:03 PM

Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]


I was going to ask you to move your posts to politics tab but that last pic... tasty.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-06-25 02:08:55 PM
whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

forums.pelicanparts.com

it's a treadjack, but DAMN
 
2013-06-25 02:09:50 PM

brantgoose: Dear Killer,

I read somewhere that one in 1,000 Americans is a murderer. I don't recall if they were counting self-defence or just illegal homicides. But when you walk down the street, these are the people that you meet, they are people that you meet each day. Sorry. Having a flashback to my Sesame Street watching days. Those were good times. I would have stayed at college forever if the money had held out.

Any hoo, you are part of a big club, no pun intended. A lot of Americans have killed and would kill again given the opportunity. While trying to confirm my stat above, I discovered that North America accounts for 80% of serial killers, while Europe only accounts for 16%. Everybody else: Africa, Asia, South America, and presumably Australia and Antarctica, account for 4%.

Makes you think. Clearly guns do not kill people. North Americans kill people. THEY SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP SAFELY WHERE THEY CAN'T HURT ANYBODY.

Hey, maybe that is why Obama has drones ready to kill every single damn one of us on the slightest whim of our heavily-screened security personnel. Well, I can't really say they are heavily-screened. I HOPE they are heavily-screened. Most of them are North Americans. They can't be trusted with a trigger. Or else why is Whatzit headed towards the relative safety of Ecuador?

But I digress.

Shoot everybody who looks at your sidewalk suspiciously. It's the only solution.

But back to your problem, Killer. Your inlaws are jerks. It might be considered justifiable homicide if you killed them all. But since you say that your wife is attached to some of the morans, here's what you do. Everytime you are out with some of your inlaws, play a little game. Try to guess who the murdererers are among the people that you meet. Take your inlaws to places where thousands of people are gathered, such as concerts, Veteran's Day parades, the Fourth of July and play the Guess Who the Murderers Are Game. Offer a gun or knife as a prize.

They'll get the message. Especia ...


Time to cut back to just one martini at lunch.
 
2013-06-25 02:10:07 PM

Yes please: He had broken into my home, armed

The armed part is there, but she seems to have made this about guns completely on her own.  It's hardly surprising.  I came across three separate sources yesterday who were blaming the whole Aaron Hernandez situation on guns.


Another possibility is that an editor removed something relevant after the answer had been written.
 
2013-06-25 02:10:41 PM
 As someone who has been forced into killing a person before, I had the exact opposite effect occur - my wife's redneck family always thought I was a 'pussy' and even more unforgivably a 'college boy'. After the shooting, they warmed up to me like an old friend and I was suddenly one of them, because I 'proved I had balls'. They seemed to genuinely celebrate it like a rite of passage.

 Now -THAT- was some creepy ass in-law treatment. Some people are just scary. In both directions. Just avoid them.
 
2013-06-25 02:10:54 PM

d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN


Not threadjack.  Just moved up to heavy caliber.
 
2013-06-25 02:13:02 PM

d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN


Anna Song.  Also goes by Tanya.
 
2013-06-25 02:15:21 PM
Maybe his wife's family are Quakers? Still, every Quaker I know is not an asshole, so his in-laws are probably just assholes.
 
2013-06-25 02:16:18 PM
The murder rate has declined significantly since that book of statistics was published, but you can still do some rough math.

Assuming 50 murders per 100,000 people each year, there would be about 0.5 murders per thousand people, and thus two years would produce 1 murderer per 1,000 people. Of course, many murderers are serial or multiple murders, so a few people account for a disproportionate share of the murders. Although most murders are men killing their girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, or significant others, a small percentage are men killing lots of people at once. So it would take more than two years worth of murders to get the rate of murderers walking around up to 1000.

Also, a lot of murders are solved, so many of the murderers are in prison for life or have been executed. Still, the number of murderers lose on the streets is plausible at the 1 in 1,000 level.

Most of them have killed once and most of them will never kill again. They have learned there lesson. All the paperwork and legal business involved in getting away with murder is just not worth it unless you are a government employee paid to murder American citizens and random suspects at home and abroad. As well as enemies. I understand that sometimes the Government murders the Enemies of the State or possibly of some of the more important industries or corporations or very rich people. At any rate, whoever it is that murders these people get away with it and add to the numbers of murderers on the street or living next door to you.

By the by, à propos de rien, as the French say, about 50 in 100,000 people have run a marathon, so roughly the same number of people are murdered each year as run marathons.

Weirdos.
 
2013-06-25 02:16:39 PM

Lifeless: d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN

Anna Song.  Also goes by Tanya.


Caution: Google will give you some NSFW results.
 
2013-06-25 02:16:45 PM

Lifeless: d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN

Anna Song.  Also goes by Tanya.


Hello, Sweetie!
 
2013-06-25 02:18:33 PM

brantgoose: Any hoo, you are part of a big club, no pun intended. A lot of Americans have killed and would kill again given the opportunity. While trying to confirm my stat above, I discovered that North America accounts for 80% of serial killers, while Europe only accounts for 16%. Everybody else: Africa, Asia, South America, and presumably Australia and Antarctica, account for 4%.


Those are convicted or known serial killers... its not that America has more of them, its that America is way, way better at tracking and catching them.  In Europe its too easy to just jump between jurisdictions for your killings, and in places like Africa and South America the police just dont give a shiat.

As much as Fark loves to hate on cops, America has some of the best police and forensics in the world, hands down.
 
2013-06-25 02:20:29 PM

CliChe Guevara:  As someone who has been forced into killing a person before, I had the exact opposite effect occur - my wife's redneck family always thought I was a 'pussy' and even more unforgivably a 'college boy'. After the shooting, they warmed up to me like an old friend and I was suddenly one of them, because I 'proved I had balls'. They seemed to genuinely celebrate it like a rite of passage.

 Now -THAT- was some creepy ass in-law treatment. Some people are just scary. In both directions. Just avoid them.


Maybe they took it that you would defend your wife no matter what and not be a biatch about it so they finally trusted you
 
2013-06-25 02:24:30 PM

CliChe Guevara: As someone who has been forced into killing a person before, I had the exact opposite effect occur - my wife's redneck family always thought I was a 'pussy' and even more unforgivably a 'college boy'. After the shooting, they warmed up to me like an old friend and I was suddenly one of them, because I 'proved I had balls'. They seemed to genuinely celebrate it like a rite of passage.

 Now -THAT- was some creepy ass in-law treatment. Some people are just scary. In both directions. Just avoid them.


The exact opposite happened for me. My FIL is happy to have a guy in the family that knows how to be quiet in the blind and will pay attention when you show him how to gut a deer.
 
2013-06-25 02:26:13 PM

duffblue: CliChe Guevara:  As someone who has been forced into killing a person before, I had the exact opposite effect occur - my wife's redneck family always thought I was a 'pussy' and even more unforgivably a 'college boy'. After the shooting, they warmed up to me like an old friend and I was suddenly one of them, because I 'proved I had balls'. They seemed to genuinely celebrate it like a rite of passage.

 Now -THAT- was some creepy ass in-law treatment. Some people are just scary. In both directions. Just avoid them.

Maybe they took it that you would defend your wife no matter what and not be a biatch about it so they finally trusted you


"I think that young man will be a good husband for Suzie."
"I don't know about that. How can we know he doesn't want to see her hurt until he's killed someone?"
 
2013-06-25 02:26:44 PM

LeroyBourne: Or you could see this as a blessing in disguise.  No honey, I won't go to anymore in law family functions, they don't want me there, and I will respect that.  Have fun honey, send them my love.  *cracks beer, turns on game and kicks up feet*


i709.photobucket.com

"Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you."
 
2013-06-25 02:29:52 PM
Don't have a problem with the killer guy, but I come from a family of card-carrying NRA members, so that shouldn't be much of a surprised.

The S-I-L question on the second page was interesting, though, since I have a similar sitch, but I'm on the other side (been nice as I can be, but considered an evil biatch by my fiancé's sister). She turned out to be a meth and heroin addict, though, so I sleep just fine at night knowing she thinks I'm horrible.
 
2013-06-25 02:30:21 PM

rufus-t-firefly: Sybarite: I understand our country is divided over many issues, guns particularly among them, but surely even the most ardent gun-control activist can recognize that when an armed intruder is in your house, Robert's Rules of Order do not apply.

I don't understand where she get this. The guy didn't say he was armed. He said the intruder was armed. We don't even know if a gunshot was involved, merely that there was a struggle resulting in the intruder's death. I just find it an odd thing to infer.

From his letter:

He had broken into my home, armed


Just means the intruder had a weapon, not that the weapon was a gun.

knifelive.ru
 
2013-06-25 02:31:14 PM

duffblue: Maybe they took it that you would defend your wife no matter what and not be a biatch about it so they finally trusted you


I would vote for this one.  People tend to love their sisters and want the guys they choose to protect them.
 
2013-06-25 02:31:20 PM
He should take the brother-in-law aside an confide in him that actually, he knew the guy and he'd lured him into his home after he found out he screwed his girlfriend.  "I totally got away with that bullsh*t armed intruder story... I've gotten away with murder... and if you don't keep your farking mouth shut, you're next."
 
2013-06-25 02:31:35 PM
I'm guessing you ate out that night, I mean, with that dead man in your kitchen and all.
 
2013-06-25 02:40:44 PM
You have been trolled, don't you?

It's Slate for one thing.;  For another an article about a dead burglar decades ago is not going to be found by "idle googling".
 
2013-06-25 02:41:21 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Sounds like BIL for some reason or other didn't like him and went to find something then blew it out of proportion to the rest of the family. Meh. I'd rather 'killed armed intruder' than 'date-raped girl in college'; but that's just me.


I would welcome 'killed armed intruder' to the family and give him the guest-room closest to the front door. 'Date-raped girl in college' I'd do everything in my power to keep out, up to and including spiking his food so he shat himself in front of his fiancee.
 
2013-06-25 02:41:34 PM

d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN


and more importantly....why is the center console filled with dirty motor oil?
 
2013-06-25 02:42:33 PM
LeroyBourne: Or you could see this as a blessing in disguise. No honey, I won't go to anymore in law family functions, they don't want me there, and I will respect that. Have fun honey, send them my love. *cracks beer, turns on game and kicks up feet*

If I could keep my in-laws away from me by killing someone that broke into the house, I'd tie up the dogs, put up signs that say FREE DOPE, FREE BEER with great big arrows on them pointing to the house and then sit in the den with a loaded shotgun.
 
2013-06-25 02:42:45 PM

MythDragon: d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN

and more importantly....why is the center console filled with dirty motor oil?


That's where the miniature giraffe would sit.
 
2013-06-25 02:42:55 PM

Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]



i1.wp.com
 
2013-06-25 02:44:27 PM

MythDragon: Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]


[i1.wp.com image 640x362]


I support sensible gun laws but that right there is offensive.
 
2013-06-25 02:45:27 PM

MythDragon: Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]


[i1.wp.com image 640x362]


That's got to be a 'shop job, right? I mean, not even the Brady Campaign folks could be that pants-on-head.
 
2013-06-25 02:46:38 PM

Egoy3k: MythDragon: Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]


[i1.wp.com image 640x362]

I support sensible gun laws but that right there is offensive.


I am a gun owner who thinks Heller and McDonald didn't go far enough, but I am pretty sure that is fake. It has to be. Right? Nobody is that terrible, except RepRyanWinkler.
 
2013-06-25 02:47:56 PM
You guys have to ask? Come on.
 
2013-06-25 02:48:05 PM
With the whole "don't want me around their children" thing, I'd feel obliged to mention, rather explicitly, that if they're ever in the same position, it will be a choice between doing what he did or leaving their children without a parent.

There are a certain percentage of people who think there's always a way to avoid unpleasant things. You see it on Fark threads from time to time, "why couldn't they have wrestled with the dude wielding the machete, why couldn't they have used kung fu to knock them off their feet and put them in a choke hold, don't they train for that".

Sometimes, things are actually dangerous and you don't fark around about it. Giving somebody grief about protecting their own life from an armed criminal is pretty much worthless. This guy's wife should be setting them straight.
 
2013-06-25 02:52:15 PM

new_york_monty: MythDragon: Dadoody: [libertyendanger.files.wordpress.com image 400x211]

[www.examiner.com image 275x585]

[code-interactive.com image 403x403]

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]


[i1.wp.com image 640x362]

That's got to be a 'shop job, right? I mean, not even the Brady Campaign folks could be that pants-on-head.


As fake as TFA.
 
2013-06-25 02:52:18 PM

Lifeless: d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN

Anna Song.  Also goes by Tanya.


Thank you. :)
 
2013-06-25 02:52:30 PM
The video question was the real winner on that page -- Prudence, my boyfriend and I ordered a clone of his penis and accidentally sent it to his parent's address.
 
2013-06-25 02:53:26 PM

Egoy3k: If your in-laws are treating you like shiat and your partner doesn't step up to the plate to defend you then you should be happy that they won't be your in-laws for long.


I had one such conversation with my mother when she got pissy with my fiancee'.

"Mom, you're not going to talk to her like that."
"I'll talk any way I want!   You're my SON!"
"And this is our home... hers and mine."
"Then I'll LEAVE your home!"
"Here's your suitcase.  There's the door."

Fiancee' was appalled that I let my mother go look for a taxi while dragging a suitcase.

"She's gotta learn now or it'll be Hell after we're married."

/didn't marry that one
//mom was much nicer to the one i married
 
2013-06-25 02:56:28 PM

Lifeless: d23: whoisshewhoisshewhoisshe

[forums.pelicanparts.com image 500x716]

it's a treadjack, but DAMN

Anna Song.  Also goes by Tanya.


He does?
 
2013-06-25 03:02:10 PM

Alonjar: [...] America has some of the best police and forensics in the world, hands down.


What "America" do you live in? Is it near Scotland Yard, or somewhere close to Interpol?
 
2013-06-25 03:04:08 PM

The_Sponge: LeroyBourne: Or you could see this as a blessing in disguise.  No honey, I won't go to anymore in law family functions, they don't want me there, and I will respect that.  Have fun honey, send them my love.  *cracks beer, turns on game and kicks up feet*

[i709.photobucket.com image 266x196]

"Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you."


Where's the end of this line . . .?
 
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