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(Grantland)   Ranking Gary Bettman's Stanley Cup presentations by awkwardness   (grantland.com) divider line 37
    More: Amusing, Chicago's Stanley Cup, Steve Yzerman, Joe Sakic, Gary Bettman, visiting team, avalanches, Colorado Avalanche, hand-off  
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948 clicks; posted to Sports » on 24 Jun 2013 at 1:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-24 01:57:28 PM
If Chicago wins tonight, something terrible is going to happen when that troll walks out on the ice.
 
2013-06-24 02:06:35 PM
15. 2012, Los Angeles KingsBettman greets Brown by grabbing him by the arm, probably to prevent him from reacting to the contact by instinctively diving.

*snicker*
 
2013-06-24 02:09:06 PM

RumsfeldsReplacement: If Chicago wins tonight, something terrible is going to happen when that troll walks out on the ice.


10 bucks says he'd mention "Boston Strong."

Personally, I'd prefer if Chicago won at home. I win the office hockey pool if they do.
 
2013-06-24 02:11:52 PM
We need a statue outside PNC of Brind'Amour grabbing the cup away from Bettman.

/Well, just of Brind'Amour. Bettman can be represented by a statue of a donkey
 
2013-06-24 02:16:48 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-24 02:21:24 PM
Rod Brind'Amour is now a new hero of mine.  It's like he was telling Gary "No, you little, dwarf-troll, this is mine.  I'm picking it up, and try to stop me.  You don't deserve to breathe air that has touched this."
 
2013-06-24 02:23:26 PM

RumsfeldsReplacement: If Chicago wins tonight, something terrible glorious is going to happen when that troll walks out on the ice.


Blood for the hockey gods!

For the past few years, I've had a system of Gary Bettman Units (GBU) to standardize the level of booing in a given arena in practical hockey-based units (none of that decibel crap). It resets every year to one standard GBU based on the Cup presentation for that year. Considering our transition from LA to either Boston or Chicago (though especially Boston), combined with feelings held over from the lockout, we should set a record 2.0 GBUs or greater this week.
 
2013-06-24 02:23:31 PM
Also, Messier: "HE WON'T LET GO OF THE DAMN CUP, AND ONLY THE LAW PREVENTS ME FROM PUMMELING HIM WITH IT!"
 
2013-06-24 02:26:19 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-24 02:29:14 PM
Dammit, second place again. Seriously, you can't even give us Vancouver fans this to be proud of?
 
2013-06-24 02:29:38 PM

Twonk: Rod Brind'Amour is now a new hero of mine.  It's like he was telling Gary "No, you little, dwarf-troll, this is mine.  I'm picking it up, and try to stop me.  You don't deserve to breathe air that has touched this."


He should also be respected for knocking on Eric Lindros' hotel room door late one night years ago, and when Eric answered, Rod clocked him with a right fist.  Apparently Eric had been a pain in the Flyer's side.
 
2013-06-24 02:30:29 PM
I can't wait to hear the Chicago fans booing Bettman when he comes out to speak and present the Cup to Chara on Wednesday night.
 
2013-06-24 02:33:04 PM

Fubegra: 15. 2012, Los Angeles KingsBettman greets Brown by grabbing him by the arm, probably to prevent him from reacting to the contact by instinctively diving.

*snicker*


It was worth reading for that line alone.

ds_4815: For the past few years, I've had a system of Gary Bettman Units (GBU) to standardize the level of booing in a given arena in practical hockey-based units (none of that decibel crap). It resets every year to one standard GBU based on the Cup presentation for that year. Considering our transition from LA to either Boston or Chicago (though especially Boston), combined with feelings held over from the lockout, we should set a record 2.0 GBUs or greater this week.


If it happens tonight in Boston, I'm putting the over/under at 2.5 GBUs

If it happens on Wednesday in Chicago, lower the o/u to 2.0.
 
2013-06-24 02:33:13 PM

I_Love_Cheesecake: I can't wait to hear the Chicago fans booing Bettman when he comes out to speak and present the Cup to Chara on Wednesday night.


Someone better print proper Bergman booing etiquette on cards to hand out to the Blackhawk "fans" as they enter the arena. They probably do not know what to do.
 
2013-06-24 02:33:24 PM
The Booing of the Commissioner is one of my favorite traditions in sports.

Seriously. It's got to be nice to have that annual reminder of "here's the most glorious moment in our season. The fans will bask in this time to express their hatred of me."
 
2013-06-24 02:39:19 PM

desertgeek: If it happens tonight in Boston, I'm putting the over/under at 2.5 GBUs

If it happens on Wednesday in Chicago, lower the o/u to 2.0.


Smart pick, though I can't help but wonder what factors would lead to higher estimates at both venues. Maybe if Bergman declares himself Eternal Emperor of Hockey on live TV.
 
2013-06-24 02:40:45 PM

jicon: Twonk: Rod Brind'Amour is now a new hero of mine.  It's like he was telling Gary "No, you little, dwarf-troll, this is mine.  I'm picking it up, and try to stop me.  You don't deserve to breathe air that has touched this."

He should also be respected for knocking on Eric Lindros' hotel room door late one night years ago, and when Eric answered, Rod clocked him with a right fist.  Apparently Eric had been a pain in the Flyer's side.


I was unaware of this.

As a pre-Crosby Penguins fan (I was at the quintuple-overtime game in 2000, and still have the ticket stub to prove it!), this raises Brind'Amour even higher.  If I ever find myself with the opportunity to buy him a drink, I shall.
 
2013-06-24 02:49:46 PM

ds_4815: Smart pick, though I can't help but wonder what factors would lead to higher estimates at both venues. Maybe if Bergman declares himself Eternal Emperor of Hockey on live TV.


If that happens, the players from both teams kill him right then and there.
 
2013-06-24 02:57:38 PM
The two Stanley Cup teams should have their fans vote on someone to present the Cup should their team win. This is such an easy marketing ploy, and there likely wouldn't be anyone upset by it, besides Bettman.

Even the fans who hijack the vote can have their club "fix" it with someone they choose themselves. Consider this the "Rory Fitzpatrick Clause".

As a Winnipeg Jets fan, there is no way I'd want Bettman near my arena if (and when) we win it. Teemu, Hawerchuk or Bobby Hull presenting the Cup to our captain would be farking epic though.
 
2013-06-24 03:05:58 PM
 
2013-06-24 03:14:11 PM

Fubegra: 15. 2012, Los Angeles KingsBettman greets Brown by grabbing him by the arm, probably to prevent him from reacting to the contact by instinctively diving.

*snicker*


That was the best line in the article.

I assumed the Brindamour thing was number 1 before I ever got there.
 
2013-06-24 03:18:27 PM
Toews pretty much has to pass the Cup off to Kaner first.
 
2013-06-24 03:30:51 PM
'95 has to be #1. And yes, TFA writer, Devils fans ARE the best, hehe.
 
2013-06-24 03:36:29 PM
I found the shocking part to watch clips of hockey on ESPN. I had forgotten that....
 
2013-06-24 03:42:49 PM
In other news, the Canucks are reportedly going to announce tomorrow that Tortella is the team's new coach. Awesome.
 
2013-06-24 03:45:07 PM

R.A.Danny: Toews pretty much has to pass the Cup off to Kaner first.


They usually give it to the player who's been around the longest but hasn't ever won. Michael Handzus?

No, you're right, just give it to Kane....

/Hate Boston but would be cool to see Jagr hoist it 22 years after his first one.
 
2013-06-24 03:50:52 PM

RumsfeldsReplacement: If Chicago wins tonight, something terrible is going to happen when that troll walks out on the ice.


Oh come on it's not like if St. Louis were getting the trophy. I'm surprised Bettmen ever shows his face there. What did the league fine them like nine or ten first round draft picks during the 90's?
 
2013-06-24 03:52:07 PM

I_Love_Cheesecake: In other news, the Canucks are reportedly going to announce tomorrow that Tortella is the team's new coach. Awesome.


I know. We were all laughing about what a joke that would be. How Torts and the media was enough of a circus in New York, and how the craziness would be amplified in a city where hockey is by far the #1 draw.

... and then they actually hired him.

Either it's Gillis hiring someone to blame, or the owner intervened to "shake things up". Either way, Canuck fans have almost all lost any hope for the foreseeable future - it's going to be Calgary-like levels of bad, combined with Edmonton-like inability to attract free agents.
 
2013-06-24 04:34:25 PM
You just know that Bettman has a long line of pictures of him giving the trophy to the winning captains in his office. I'm glad that the Hurricanes screwed at least one of those pictures up good.

"Look at me! Look at me! I'm important too! I get to hold the Stanley Cup every single year! I'm tied to all of these winning teams hard work in some fashion!"

The NBA is worse. First they hand it off to the freaking OWNERS of the team, and THEN the players get to hold it.
 
2013-06-24 04:39:51 PM
Fark You Bergman!!!
 
2013-06-24 04:40:04 PM

homarjr: The two Stanley Cup teams should have their fans vote on someone to present the Cup should their team win. This is such an easy marketing ploy, and there likely wouldn't be anyone upset by it, besides Bettman.

Even the fans who hijack the vote can have their club "fix" it with someone they choose themselves. Consider this the "Rory Fitzpatrick Clause".

As a Winnipeg Jets fan, there is no way I'd want Bettman near my arena if (and when) we win it. Teemu, Hawerchuk or Bobby Hull presenting the Cup to our captain would be farking epic though.


I like this idea. You'd have to take measures to make sure that the individual team votes will be fan-only. perhaps In-person voting at the home arena between the final game of the conference championship and the third game of the finals?

Plus there's still the opportunity for the winning team's fans to completely troll whoever they want. Maybe have the previous coach who screwed up the team in to present to the new winning team. Maybe you have a player that was unjustly suspended by the league voted in to embarrass the Comissionner.

Tons of potential here. It should be done in every sport.
 
2013-06-24 04:45:06 PM

timswar: homarjr: The two Stanley Cup teams should have their fans vote on someone to present the Cup should their team win. This is such an easy marketing ploy, and there likely wouldn't be anyone upset by it, besides Bettman.

Even the fans who hijack the vote can have their club "fix" it with someone they choose themselves. Consider this the "Rory Fitzpatrick Clause".

As a Winnipeg Jets fan, there is no way I'd want Bettman near my arena if (and when) we win it. Teemu, Hawerchuk or Bobby Hull presenting the Cup to our captain would be farking epic though.

I like this idea. You'd have to take measures to make sure that the individual team votes will be fan-only. perhaps In-person voting at the home arena between the final game of the conference championship and the third game of the finals?

Plus there's still the opportunity for the winning team's fans to completely troll whoever they want. Maybe have the previous coach who screwed up the team in to present to the new winning team. Maybe you have a player that was unjustly suspended by the league voted in to embarrass the Comissionner.

Tons of potential here. It should be done in every sport.


Should the Islanders ever win it again, I want Mike Millbury to hand the cup over to John Tavares.
 
2013-06-24 04:45:31 PM
Football and baseball present the trophy to the owners too, which is bullshiat
 
2013-06-24 06:00:40 PM

Slaves2Darkness: RumsfeldsReplacement: If Chicago wins tonight, something terrible is going to happen when that troll walks out on the ice.

Oh come on it's not like if St. Louis were getting the trophy. I'm surprised Bettmen ever shows his face there. What did the league fine them like nine or ten first round draft picks during the 90's?


I know there's been some push to get the All-Star Game here in St. Louis as it's been like 25+ years. I chuckle as it will never ever happen.

Seriously doubt we'll even get an outdoor game at Busch Stadium.

/Convinced the league hates the Blues, regardless of who owns the team
 
2013-06-24 07:23:17 PM

Lando Lincoln: The NBA is worse. First they hand it off to the freaking OWNERS of the team, and THEN the players get to hold it.


ElwoodCuse: Football and baseball present the trophy to the owners too, which is bullshiat


I didn't know this. what the fark. yet more justification for me not to watch any other sports besides women's college volleyball.
 
2013-06-25 02:25:30 AM
That was awesome.
 
2013-06-25 06:45:59 PM

El_Perro: Greatest Gary Bettman moment in SCF history


Always fantastic.

robsul82: '95 has to be #1. And yes, TFA writer, Devils fans ARE the best, hehe.


I would have said that, given the tradition-setting nature of the event, but upon seeing that Brind'amour clip, I have to admit that's goddamn outstanding.
 
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