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(Chicago Trib)   Nik Wallenda confident ahead of high wire act. Grand Canyon and Darwin looking pretty confident too   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 169
    More: Asinine, Karl Wallenda, Grand Canyon, Navajo Nation, wind gust, tropical storm andrea  
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4067 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2013 at 6:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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Archived thread
2013-06-23 09:50:47 PM  
3 votes:
"Oh Lord Jesus"

Dude.. this is all you.. your mythical sky wizard and his hippy kid have nothing to do with this.
2013-06-23 09:04:06 PM  
3 votes:
Thread TL;DR, but has anyone mentioned yet that this  isn't the true Grand Canyon he's walking over???

The spot he's walking over is over the Little Colorado River, which, by definition, is not part of the Grand Canyon of the Colorado River.  It's actually a 12 mile drive southeast from the eastern edge of the National Park entrance, within Navajo lands.  You couldn't do a walk across the *actual* Grand Canyon, as its width is usually measured in miles.  So while it's still relatively impressive to walk a tightrope a thousand feet up, it is not what they've been advertising this as.

\drove past this spot on vacation last month, actually
2013-06-23 07:33:25 PM  
3 votes:

Zebulon: I don't want to see the guy get killed, but from what I have seen on TV and read on the internet, he is such a smug attention whore. He claims to be a christian who just wants others to think of him as a "regular guy", yet his entire life has been about trying to set records and get everyone to pay attention to him. I hope he gets part way across, slips, and then has to hang onto the wire for dear life while they use a helicopter or something to save him. Maybe then a bit of humility will set in, and he will go spend time with his family instead of risking his life and his family's future on trying to get that next record or that next TV show or that next book deal.


With all due respect, I met Nik when he was just 7 years old. As cliche as it may sound, walking a tight rope was in his DNA before he was even born. I traveled briefly with - and performed my magic act in - the same show as his Mother and Father (Delilah Wallenda and Terry Troffer). They are 2 of the nicest, most humble and unassuming people you'd ever want to meet.

The Wallendas don't do what they do for attention. They do it because that's simply what they do. They believe it's their duty to carry on Karl's legacy. They are ALL born into it and that's all they know. From the time they can walk, their life is a tight rope. Like a magician looking for the largest object to vanish; a singer for a song with the most difficult notes to hit; and a race car driver for a faster car...it's all a case of trying to reach for the next unattainable goal - and  be the best at what they do.

What I observed was a family striving for excellence in their chosen profession - although - they didn't choose their profession as much as inherit it.

And even if it were nothing but attention whoring - I'd say crossing Niagara Falls and the Grand Canyon probably deserve a bit of attention?

I wish Nik nothing but the best of luck. He's been training for this walk since he took his first "steps."
2013-06-23 06:58:46 PM  
3 votes:
Is this going to be another "Oh thank you Jesus, thank you dear Jesus" deal like last time? Or do they not have him mic'd.
2013-06-23 10:52:22 PM  
2 votes:
Wallenda, the self-described "King of the High Wire," walked 1,400 feet across the crimson-hued canyon with just the distant ribbon of the Little Colorado River beneath him. The event was broadcast live around the world.

Well then it's the Little Colorado River Gorge, definitely not the Canyon. At all. This should be considered fraud.

Look, here's a story that got it right:
http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2013/jun/23/man-completes-tightrope-w al k-near-grand-canyon/
2013-06-23 09:59:54 PM  
2 votes:
"Thank you Lord. Thank you Discovery Channel for believing in me. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Lord."


Discovery Channel doesn't believe in you, dude.
They believe in the 50 share that they'll pick up tomorrow morning.
Also, the 20 million ratings in the 18 - 35 crowd they'll grab once Nielsen reports come out in about six to eight hours.
2013-06-23 09:52:20 PM  
2 votes:
Ricky Gervais @rickygervais
That bloke crossing the grand canyon must be starving. I mean, I love cheeses too but I don't go on about them ALL the farking time.
2013-06-23 09:47:25 PM  
2 votes:
Jesus isn't going to disable gravity for you, champ
2013-06-23 09:46:14 PM  
2 votes:
This guy is REALLY into Jesus. In fact I'm pretty sure he wishes Jesus was IN him. physically.
/divine buttsecks
2013-06-23 09:39:13 PM  
2 votes:
I want him to fall now. Stop thanking Jesus and walk
2013-06-23 08:56:29 PM  
2 votes:
JOEL OSTEEN?  QUICK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Having that level of confluence of attention whore in one place is worse than dividing by zero.
2013-06-23 07:51:03 PM  
2 votes:
I've worked with a couple of daredevils and while I respect their bravery, I think they're insane.  If something goes wrong with my act, I look foolish (well, more foolish than usual); if something goes wrong with their act, they're off to the ICU or the morgue...
2013-06-23 07:03:22 PM  
2 votes:

Ricardo Klement: No, he has a hypothesis on the matter.


"Theory" rolls off the tongue better, and I'm posting on FARK, not writing a dissertation.
2013-06-23 07:00:06 PM  
2 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: "That's really where I get my peace," he said. "I have confidence that if something were to happen to me, I know where I'm going."

No you don't. You have a theory on the matter, but nobody really knows for sure due to that 1-way ticket problem.

That said...good luck.


No, he has a hypothesis on the matter.
2013-06-23 06:59:41 PM  
2 votes:

man metaphysical: Suicide by tightrope


But he has a safety team ready to pluck him off the rope within 60 seconds if things go wrong!!

/60 seconds is a LONG farking time to hold on to a 2 inch steel cable in 40 mile an hour winds...assuming you can even catch the rope when you slip.
//and this farker lets his kids watch.
2013-06-23 06:56:05 PM  
2 votes:
"That's really where I get my peace," he said. "I have confidence that if something were to happen to me, I know where I'm going."

No you don't. You have a theory on the matter, but nobody really knows for sure due to that 1-way ticket problem.

That said...good luck.
2013-06-24 12:41:01 AM  
1 votes:

Mikey1969: Wallenda, the self-described "King of the High Wire," walked 1,400 feet across the crimson-hued canyon with just the distant ribbon of the Little Colorado River beneath him. The event was broadcast live around the world.

Well then it's the Little Colorado River Gorge, definitely not the Canyon. At all. This should be considered fraud.

Look, here's a story that got it right:
http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2013/jun/23/man-completes-tightrope-w al k-near-grand-canyon/


Ummm talk about splitting hairs.  He did cross a part of the grand canyon, it was just a part that is not in the National Park.  If you ever go there you will see it is absolutely part of the grand canyon.  Anyone standing on the bridge that says they are not in the grand canyon is being incredibly obtuse.
2013-06-23 11:17:44 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2013-06-23 11:17:15 PM  
1 votes:
Was farking intense to watch, but I had to explain to my 4 year old what he was talking about over & over with the "oh father, oh lord, oh Jesus" thing...
2013-06-23 10:55:44 PM  
1 votes:

gweilo8888: rhiannon: Oh you only watched for two minutes. Well then, by all means continue with your whining.

I  wasn't whining. I was stating a simple fact. Not once during the period I watched was there a camera that was either steady, or not panning at ridiculous pace to provide a false, heightened sense of danger.

/and I've seen similar shows before from start to finish; it's a common tactic


Yep, 40 minutes of tense music, prep work, interviews about the danger, etc. And then when the actual stunt comes around, they insist on so many jump cuts and using so many cameras that it isn't even worth the 2 minutes of actual stunt. It's why I don't watch this shiat anymore.
2013-06-23 10:42:56 PM  
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: Well, that's reason enough for me not to pay attention to it.  That and, as mentioned above, his "Grand Canyon Walk" is not at the goddamn Grand Canyon.


NOthing that is portrayed as the Canyon is really the Canyon, unless it is something simple like the visit to El Tovar in 'Vacation'. No stunts, no crashes, no driving along the rim. It's all outside of the park, and in side canyons. You can't do these things there specifically because it's a National Park, and it annoys the fark out of me that the keep calling it the Grand Canyon.
2013-06-23 10:38:08 PM  
1 votes:

Zebulon: he is such a smug attention whore. He claims to be a christian who just wants others to think of him as a "regular guy", yet his entire life has been about trying to set records and get everyone to pay attention to him.


You understand that's a FAMILY legacy, right? Generations and generations of Wallendas known for one thing. That doesn't make him an "attention whore". Attention whores aren't people who put on stunts for legitimate reasons.
2013-06-23 10:31:43 PM  
1 votes:
 
Fiction Fan: Naked and Afraid sounds like the worst dating show ever.
--
As a nudist, I don't have a problem with the naked human body, regardless of age.
However, I do have a problem with nudity being exploited to dramatize a show like that.

Now let's see nick walk the wire again "naked and afraid."
He had one of those down, at least.


I'm a nudist myself--I almost never wear clothes when I'm home alone.  What sucks about nudist clubs is that they're mostly full of fat guys who look like Santa Claus and after the novelty wears off in about 3 minutes, you just spend the evening talking about sports...


---------

Well, that's mostly because women don't tend to enjoy or like being ogled by perverted guys who think nudism is all about sex. Then you put in the media's pressure on body image, with so many make up commercials and 18-year-old models for everything, it doesn't make it much easier.

AS for the "novelty wearing off," well, I call myself a nudist because I am comfortable without clothes. I feel as if the stress of the world, all my stress from family, work, non-work, school, daily routines.....when I am naked, a lot of that is gone. I don't have fabric brushing against my skin, my skin can breathe easier and I can too. Nudists also face the world with a view that it does not matter what you look like, but who you are, and I originally became interested in that idea. Of being able to hang around with people who aren't going to give a damn about what I do for work or how fat or thin or bald or endowed or not endowed I am. They're going to treat me like a person and as long as I give them the same respect that they give me, we're just going to enjoy the natural state humans are meant to be in each day.

I wear clothes, and I have modesty, and I support "textiles." But when I am in my own home and have the option to go nude, I do it.

Getting back on to the subject, I haven't seen a good naked skydiving video in awhile.
Too bad I'll never see a naked tightrope walking video.

/goes to YouTube
//Even though it's Google, YouTube still has all
2013-06-23 10:23:20 PM  
1 votes:
Isn't the Wallenda family Polish?  Then that would make him a Pole with a pole.

/I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole
//knew a ten-foot Pole
///name was Stanislav Gryczszewski
////tallest dude in Łódź
//pronounced "wooge"
2013-06-23 10:21:29 PM  
1 votes:

wxboy: Heh, he just completely blew off Osteen.


Did he?  Oh good.  But he'll be right there on his next stupid stunt, praying with Nik and reveling in every praise Jesus.
2013-06-23 10:20:45 PM  
1 votes:
OMG, is that Jack Hanna in the background?
2013-06-23 10:18:41 PM  
1 votes:

AliceBToklasLives: ecmoRandomNumbers: He didn't cross the FARKING GRAND CANYON!

Stop saying it. Just stop.

What did he cross? Seriously, I'm curious what's the place called.


Little Colorado River Gorge.
2013-06-23 10:17:52 PM  
1 votes:

CowboyUpCowgirlDown: Did he die?  We were too obsessed with Bob the Builder to turn channels.

http://www.bobthebuilder.com/usa/index.asp?origref">http://www.bobth ebuilder.com/usa/index.asp?origref=


Unfortunately, no.  He praised and thanked Jebus for 22 minutes straight, then attributed it all to his training and adrenaline.
2013-06-23 10:17:02 PM  
1 votes:
Heh, he just completely blew off Osteen.
2013-06-23 10:14:59 PM  
1 votes:

Fiction Fan: Naked and Afraid sounds like the worst dating show ever.

--
As a nudist, I don't have a problem with the naked human body, regardless of age.
However, I do have a problem with nudity being exploited to dramatize a show like that.


Now let's see nick walk the wire again "naked and afraid."
He had one of those down, at least.


I'm a nudist myself--I almost never wear clothes when I'm home alone.  What sucks about nudist clubs is that they're mostly full of fat guys who look like Santa Claus and after the novelty wears off in about 3 minutes, you just spend the evening talking about sports...
2013-06-23 10:11:27 PM  
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: wxboy: Piers Morgan thinks this is "Cable News".  That explains a lot about CNN, doesn't it?

Well to be fair, nothing that Piers Morgan says should be taken seriously.


Only when Piers compares somebody to Rocky Balboa--then he's right on.
2013-06-23 10:08:27 PM  
1 votes:
Let's not make this a new thing mmkay thanks Discovery Jesus Father in Heaven Lord SOrcerer God.
2013-06-23 10:06:33 PM  
1 votes:

wxboy: Benevolent Misanthrope: insertdip: Why didn't he just run the entire way? This is so stupid.

He ran when he was over the ground again.

Technically he was over ground most of the time (and over water the rest),


He ran when the wire was less than 20 feet from the ground.

Asshole.
2013-06-23 10:05:47 PM  
1 votes:

spidermilk: If you guys are into this you'd probably like Man on Wire- because Philippe Petit tight roped across the twin towers *without permission*. Documentary.


And he did it without a single nationally televised prayer break.
2013-06-23 10:04:30 PM  
1 votes:
If you guys are into this you'd probably like Man on Wire- because Philippe Petit tight roped across the twin towers *without permission*. Documentary.

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-06-23 10:03:49 PM  
1 votes:

Arachnophobe: It really is, it's tense as hell. Those shots from the downward facing camera are madness intentionally panned, zoomed, and wobbled all over the shot to try and make it look scarier.


Seriously, ever wonder why in this day and age they can't afford a decent tripod and video head? It's because they're trying to make it look worse than it is.

Yes, it's impressive. Yes, he does it largely for promotional purposes as the Oh Jebus prayer half hour. No, it isn't necessary to have deliberately shaky or fast-panning video to try and make it look scarier.
2013-06-23 10:03:33 PM  
1 votes:
IT'S NOT THE GRAND CANYON!!!

Oh, now he was solely responsible for his safe crossing.  Yeah.  Now he's crediting his rhythm and adrenaline.
2013-06-23 10:03:02 PM  
1 votes:
Thank you, Lucifer, for making me smart enough to not become a daredevil.
2013-06-23 10:02:20 PM  
1 votes:
Since Discovery is now the Jesus Channel, will we see Kate Gossalin show up on EWTN?
2013-06-23 10:02:18 PM  
1 votes:
NO HE IS NOT THE FIRST HUMAN TO EVER CROSS THE GRAND CANYON ON A WIRE1!!!1  QUIT IT!11
2013-06-23 10:02:13 PM  
1 votes:
Sorcerer?? He's really in league with the Horned One! Get me across the canyon, Man-Goat!
2013-06-23 10:01:54 PM  
1 votes:
well done crazy tightrope man
2013-06-23 10:00:36 PM  
1 votes:
Thank Discovery for Mythbusters and Kari Bryon.
2013-06-23 09:59:05 PM  
1 votes:
I just had a "Crap, he's going t make it" thought - now all those serile f*ckwits are going to be vindicated in their belief that their god will make the impossible happen if you just invoke his name and keep blathering it on and on to unbelievers.
2013-06-23 09:58:37 PM  
1 votes:

Galaxie500: Sorcerer???


Invisible Sky Wizard.  He just revealed his true beliefs.
2013-06-23 09:58:14 PM  
1 votes:
So Jesus is a sorcerer now?
2013-06-23 09:57:51 PM  
1 votes:
Did he just call Jesus a sorcerer?

O.o
2013-06-23 09:57:43 PM  
1 votes:
Sorcerer???
2013-06-23 09:57:37 PM  
1 votes:
Lord, make him fall.  I'll go to church and everything.
2013-06-23 09:57:03 PM  
1 votes:
Anybody who's playing the suggested drinking game is collapsed in a fetal position on the floor, laying in a pool of their own puke, and quietly murmuring to themselves about Jebus, at this point.
2013-06-23 09:56:40 PM  
1 votes:
I heard Jesus just left Chicago

Nah.
He's still there.blog.bullz-eye.com
2013-06-23 09:56:35 PM  
1 votes:
In Jesus' name, stop this wire from vibrating.


Dear God, Please break all the laws of the universe for my convenience.

-- Emo Phillips
2013-06-23 09:54:39 PM  
1 votes:
Should we praise Jeebus for helping him walk across the canyon, or should we curse Jeebus for making him stupid enough to attempt it in the first place?
2013-06-23 09:54:10 PM  
1 votes:
I wonder why he never has a small crisis of faith over " tell you to calm in the name of Jesus" not working.

"Thank you for calming that cable, Lord" - like his siting down, per instructions, had nothing to do with it.

Damn, this is annoying.

Psycat: Sorry to be a spoiler, but he's going to make it.  Really, if he thought he had more than a 1% chance of dying, he'd never attempt it...


Yeah, we know.  But we're hoping for that 1% and admiring the skill it takes to do this.  "Oh my Jesus"es notwithstanding.
2013-06-23 09:53:51 PM  
1 votes:
Still watching but had to mute. I didn't want this guy to die, I mean he has 3 kids, but seriously, as soon as he starts walking it's jesus this, praise god that. also, why does god un-capitalized show up as correct but jesus un-capitalized show up as a spelling error?
2013-06-23 09:53:27 PM  
1 votes:
If Jesus really had authority over the wind, wouldn't He use it for something more productive, like preventing tornadoes?
2013-06-23 09:52:55 PM  
1 votes:

Di Atribe: b0rg9: Arachnophobe: He sounds like he's getting pounded by Jesus. "Oh you're my king. Oh yes Jesus. Yes Jesus. You're so good. I love you Jesus. Yes Jesus. That's my king."

I'm the athiest of Athieists, and I will give a good solid pass to this guy praising any farking thing he wants on that rope.

I think that anyone repeating the same thing over & over for 10 minutes is going to be annoying, regardless of what they're saying


You'd be wrong. ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5nkUNFJcUA
2013-06-23 09:51:50 PM  
1 votes:

proteon: Son, do you think you could change your cadence a little bit?

Dad, do you think you could kindly stfu?


No, that's an important one. If he keeps a regular cadence, the wire gets more bouncy.  He's got his uncle on one end feeling the vibration in the wire, giving feedback to his dad, who is in charge of telling him when to speed up/slow down/shiat himself.
2013-06-23 09:50:52 PM  
1 votes:
You know, I'm laughing at all the things I'm seeing saying "OMG so scary" and "I'm on the edge of my seat" stuff like that. If he makes it, great. But if he dies, he dies. Ultimately, this is watching a guy take a walk. Big whoop.
2013-06-23 09:50:21 PM  
1 votes:
Sorry to be a spoiler, but he's going to make it.  Really, if he thought he had more than a 1% chance of dying, he'd never attempt it...
2013-06-23 09:50:00 PM  
1 votes:
halfway to buttseckz!!!
2013-06-23 09:49:39 PM  
1 votes:
Son, do you think you could change your cadence a little bit?

Dad, do you think you could kindly stfu?
2013-06-23 09:49:21 PM  
1 votes:

ThatDarkFellow: Jesus isn't going to disable gravity for you, champ


That's the interesting thing about these servile f*ckwits.  If he makes it, it was all Jeebus that did it.  If he falls, and Jeebus doesn't disable gravity or otherwise save him, it's in no way Jeebus' fault.
2013-06-23 09:48:42 PM  
1 votes:
For those who have been missing it..... This is Camera 4.

img526.imageshack.us
2013-06-23 09:48:39 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: Is he really saying all of that out loud? I'm watching a movie.


Yes, and it's making me want to throw myself over a cliff edge and I go to church every week.
2013-06-23 09:47:59 PM  
1 votes:
FFS. yes jesus yes jesus thank you calm those winds in the name of jesus he has no hold on me.

praise you father god praise you jesus oh lord peace praise you father YES JESUS!

FFS. Who's got a smoke?
2013-06-23 09:47:28 PM  
1 votes:
Is it normal for the pole to have that much motion?
2013-06-23 09:45:39 PM  
1 votes:

Arachnophobe: He sounds like he's getting pounded by Jesus. "Oh you're my king. Oh yes Jesus. Yes Jesus. You're so good. I love you Jesus. Yes Jesus. That's my king."


I'm the athiest of Athieists, and I will give a good solid pass to this guy praising any farking thing he wants on that rope.
2013-06-23 09:44:56 PM  
1 votes:

Arachnophobe: He sounds like he's getting pounded by Jesus. "Oh you're my king. Oh yes Jesus. Yes Jesus. You're so good. I love you Jesus. Yes Jesus. That's my king."


<spurble>

New laptop.  You owe me one.

That said, it's really REALLY farking annoying.
2013-06-23 09:44:52 PM  
1 votes:
thats a pretty thick wire. cripes that must be easy
2013-06-23 09:44:41 PM  
1 votes:
Is he really saying all of that out loud? I'm watching a movie.
2013-06-23 09:44:35 PM  
1 votes:
oh crazy Jesus thank you Jesus....I'm turning off the sound.


---

tempted to do that myself

You would think this guy is being baptized or watching his wife give birth.

I mean, I don't really blame him.....I'd be scared shiatless too......but still, it's like he's reciting Psalms 1-10,000
2013-06-23 09:44:07 PM  
1 votes:
The height thing is freaking me out.
The shubs just said that the whole Jesus this and Lord that keeps him focused as he is walking.
My ADHD would be all Thank you Jesu...oh shiat that's a long way down...can I turn around..
2013-06-23 09:43:58 PM  
1 votes:
Damn - he's having a hard time.  He can't keep his head together like he usually does.
2013-06-23 09:43:45 PM  
1 votes:
Circus of The Lord holy crap
2013-06-23 09:43:03 PM  
1 votes:
He sounds like he's getting pounded by Jesus. "Oh you're my king. Oh yes Jesus. Yes Jesus. You're so good. I love you Jesus. Yes Jesus. That's my king."
2013-06-23 09:42:54 PM  
1 votes:
Is this what fundies sound like in the bedroom?
2013-06-23 09:42:21 PM  
1 votes:
He's not going to make it. He's scared out of his mind, and it looks like he's not in a good mood (everything is going wrong)
2013-06-23 09:41:57 PM  
1 votes:
I can't farking watch this. I can't imagine what he is feelin. Sunday night suicide? I am at least learning how to pray.
2013-06-23 09:41:51 PM  
1 votes:
Now I see why they have this on a Sunday.
Dude is "praising Jesus" so much with "the authority of Christ" that he may as well be walking across the pews in church.
2013-06-23 09:41:29 PM  
1 votes:
Maybe he'll fall and a parachute with the British flag will open like in Moonraker!
2013-06-23 09:41:28 PM  
1 votes:
Oh, Jesus is the name of the guy in the white hat!
2013-06-23 09:41:24 PM  
1 votes:
oh crazy Jesus thank you Jesus....I'm turning off the sound.
2013-06-23 09:41:19 PM  
1 votes:
I'm sitting on my couch and watching him is making me sick. F*cking insane.
2013-06-23 09:41:18 PM  
1 votes:
Annnnd he's already had to sit down once....BAD sign....
2013-06-23 09:40:54 PM  
1 votes:

Deep Contact: He should be wearing a Evel Knievel outfit.


He should be wearing a parachute and a pair of brown pants...
2013-06-23 09:40:39 PM  
1 votes:
Ironically, Jesus has a c-note riding on him falling.
2013-06-23 09:40:28 PM  
1 votes:
He's said "Lord", "God", "Jesus", "God", and "Jesus" "Jesus" "Jesus".  Sort of reminds me of the Farting Preacher for some reason.  I'm just gonna finish my drink now.
2013-06-23 09:39:55 PM  
1 votes:

Great_Milenko: rhiannon: Is this going to be another "Oh thank you Jesus, thank you dear Jesus" deal like last time? Or do they not have him mic'd.

Considering he had tele-charlatan joel olsteen in his camper before the walk, I'm gonna have to say "you betcha!"


With all the evangelizing going on, what would be a hoot is if he fell off his wire, shouted "Help me, Zeus!" while falling, and survived because he bounced off some air mattresses left behind by some Wiccans who had celebrated Summer Solstice a few days earlier...
2013-06-23 09:39:39 PM  
1 votes:
Aaaaand it's going to be Jesus all the way across. Unless he falls, and then it's "Holy shi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i..."
2013-06-23 09:39:16 PM  
1 votes:
Damn - anyone playing the drinking game is going to be totally alcohol poisoned by the end of it!
2013-06-23 09:39:08 PM  
1 votes:
Oh crap he's got a microphone.
2013-06-23 09:38:04 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: The Navajo set up a jumbotron a few miles away for spectators.

Did they set up a miniature casino to take bets on whether he'd make it?


Actually, the network set up the Jumbotron a few miles away for the Navajo, who are not allowed to spectate directly on their own land. Oh, the irony!!
2013-06-23 09:37:44 PM  
1 votes:
Cantore.  Push-up briefs, or semi-erect?
2013-06-23 09:36:20 PM  
1 votes:

rhiannon: Is this going to be another "Oh thank you Jesus, thank you dear Jesus" deal like last time? Or do they not have him mic'd.


Considering he had tele-charlatan joel olsteen in his camper before the walk, I'm gonna have to say "you betcha!"
2013-06-23 09:34:58 PM  
1 votes:
That farking douchebag on the live feed - I wonder how badly he'll cream his jeans when Nik falls and their twit feed skyrockets.
2013-06-23 09:34:29 PM  
1 votes:

NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: The Navajo set up a jumbotron a few miles away for spectators.


Did they set up a miniature casino to take bets on whether he'd make it?
2013-06-23 09:33:44 PM  
1 votes:
Oh come on.  He didn't think to tape his balance pole until just now?
2013-06-23 09:33:33 PM  
1 votes:
He should stop halfway, drop his pants, and take the world's highest dump ever.
2013-06-23 09:32:05 PM  
1 votes:
OK - I'm watching the live feed online and the Discovery Channel.  The live feed is 12 seconds behind TDC, which I understand is 10 seconds delayed.

Weak sauce, guys.
2013-06-23 09:31:18 PM  
1 votes:

Triumph: Psycat: Triumph: "We're just minutes away now." As opposed to when this program started and we were hours away.

They're just milking it.  Just like 'milking the bull'.  And is there anything to your claim that they called it off due to high blood pressure?

No - I was just poking fun at the drama build up as the doctor takes his BP for the cameras.


They should be taking a stool sample--I'll bet he's ready to give up a specimen...
2013-06-23 09:30:46 PM  
1 votes:

ManRay: No safety wire, no net.

I assume he has a parachute on his back?


He has a 2 inch cable to hang on.  He says he has practiced hanging on the cable. There are rescue baskets at each end of the wire and helicopters on each side of the canyon. Assuming he doesn't outright fall, and is actually able to grab the wire and hold on, they can have him off the wire in 60 seconds.
2013-06-23 09:27:58 PM  
1 votes:

SpikeStrip: Psycat: Triumph: They've called it off due to his blood pressure reading.

What??? Honest Injun?  I don't actually own a television so I can't tell if there's actually any crowds of spectators there, or if they actually did call it off.  It would suck if they drove hundreds of miles to see basically nothing--except Joel Osteen, I guess...

what's a "television"


An object that's bigger than a breadbox and full of crap, like a toilet, but with cubic zirconia being hawked by people who toot horns for elderly women who live in Iowa.  Something like that...
2013-06-23 09:27:05 PM  
1 votes:

Psycat: Triumph: They've called it off due to his blood pressure reading.

What??? Honest Injun?  I don't actually own a television so I can't tell if there's actually any crowds of spectators there, or if they actually did call it off.  It would suck if they drove hundreds of miles to see basically nothing--except Joel Osteen, I guess...


No, still going. And no crowds of spectators at the site. The Navajo set up a jumbotron a few miles away for spectators.
2013-06-23 09:26:51 PM  
1 votes:

ThePea: ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Christ. Are they praying with Joel Osteen? Really? REALLY?

Attention whores EVERYWHERE.

Nik is a Jesus Freak, he downplays it for some audiences and let's his (Jesus) freak flag fly for others.  Maybe he'll get to meet Him sooner than later?


Let's see who holds god to account if he falls.

BTW - an interview with Joel Osteen means we have to drink continuously until he's off camera.
2013-06-23 09:24:50 PM  
1 votes:

Triumph: They've called it off due to his blood pressure reading.


Fark you.
2013-06-23 09:24:46 PM  
1 votes:

ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Christ. Are they praying with Joel Osteen? Really? REALLY?

Attention whores EVERYWHERE.


Nik is a Jesus Freak, he downplays it for some audiences and let's his (Jesus) freak flag fly for others.  Maybe he'll get to meet Him sooner than later?
2013-06-23 09:23:26 PM  
1 votes:

Triumph: "We're just minutes away now." As opposed to when this program started and we were hours away.


They're just milking it.  Just like 'milking the bull'.  And is there anything to your claim that they called it off due to high blood pressure?
2013-06-23 09:23:00 PM  
1 votes:
Jesus Christ. Are they praying with Joel Osteen? Really? REALLY?

Attention whores EVERYWHERE.
2013-06-23 09:21:25 PM  
1 votes:

Triumph: They've called it off due to his blood pressure reading.


What??? Honest Injun?  I don't actually own a television so I can't tell if there's actually any crowds of spectators there, or if they actually did call it off.  It would suck if they drove hundreds of miles to see basically nothing--except Joel Osteen, I guess...
2013-06-23 09:19:27 PM  
1 votes:

FriarReb98: Thread TL;DR, but has anyone mentioned yet that this  isn't the true Grand Canyon he's walking over???

The spot he's walking over is over the Little Colorado River, which, by definition, is not part of the Grand Canyon of the Colorado River.  It's actually a 12 mile drive southeast from the eastern edge of the National Park entrance, within Navajo lands.  You couldn't do a walk across the *actual* Grand Canyon, as its width is usually measured in miles.  So while it's still relatively impressive to walk a tightrope a thousand feet up, it is not what they've been advertising this as.

\drove past this spot on vacation last month, actually


I doubt the National Park Service would let someone perform a stunt in which that someone may die on their land on TV.

/also I did mention this earlier.  I even had a link so neeners.
//Joel Osteen, prosperity gospel guy? Really?
2013-06-23 09:19:08 PM  
1 votes:
Isn't Joel Osteen a televangelist?  I kinda sorta remember him because he's the only one who doesn't speak with a southern-fried accent and is a heck of a lot more positive than somebody like John Hagee...
2013-06-23 09:17:21 PM  
1 votes:
Karma is a beyotch. If he falls, I'm gonna go take a shiat and go to bed.
2013-06-23 09:10:34 PM  
1 votes:

Flashlight: Looks like I will have to choose between this and Breaking Amish


You could watch Whodunnit.
2013-06-23 09:09:02 PM  
1 votes:

donnielove: Wait, he's not even at the starting point?  He has to take a helicopter to get there?  This is never going to actually happen, is it?


he already fell.  this is all pre-recorded BS until they can come up with a plausible excuse
2013-06-23 09:04:33 PM  
1 votes:
Why is there a paramedic on the canyon floor?
2013-06-23 09:00:12 PM  
1 votes:

try fect taa daa: Joel Osteen is in the house!!!


He's there to convert the Navajo.
2013-06-23 08:57:44 PM  
1 votes:
Yea the Navajos are behind the scenes butchering sheep!
2013-06-23 08:56:50 PM  
1 votes:
Reading tweets, Joel Osteen on the scene...could this GET more exciting?
2013-06-23 08:56:25 PM  
1 votes:
JESUS FARK - Joel Osteen!  DRINK!  Twice!
2013-06-23 08:56:09 PM  
1 votes:
Maybe they're delaying things just to make sure there aren't any badly-singed coyotes falling out of the sky...
2013-06-23 08:56:04 PM  
1 votes:
Ok is this the feature where we hear how the Navajo are inspired by Nik and the Washington Redskins.

/nope - social media update
//I feel bad for social media "reporters"
///thought they would be Woodward and Bernstein - ended up repeating Bieber's tweets --- for farks sake will they start this thing
2013-06-23 08:54:38 PM  
1 votes:
Aaaaaand another commercial for the Navajo Nation.
2013-06-23 08:54:07 PM  
1 votes:
I am guessing they are just stalling until the winds die down. What would be really funny is if the winds stay high enough that he doesn't try the walk at all.

----

They will probably postpone it for a week. Possibly mid-week. I could see it being moved to the Mythbusters time zone this week, since there has been a tie-in, promotionally, with MB.
I am sure that Discovery executives and Nick have back-ups involve, sort of how if you have a yard sale or a 5k or whatever that you have a rain date set.
2013-06-23 08:52:23 PM  
1 votes:

donnielove: Ricardo Klement: donnielove: This is scheduled to go until 10:30?

I'm sure the first hour is all talking about how beautiful the Grand Canyon is and how insane this stunt is.

I assumed they had covered that in the 2 hour pre-show I ignored.


Oh no - that was the pre-walk pre-show.  Now we're in the pre-walk show.  Then there will be the walk lead-in show.  Then another delay of some sort, I'm sure.

It's 1/4 mile, right?  So, I'm guessing it should take him 15-20 minutes, once he starts walking.  I'm going to make my lunch for tomorrow.  I'll bet he doesn't start until about 7:30 MDT or so.
2013-06-23 08:50:46 PM  
1 votes:

rhiannon: donnielove: Ricardo Klement: donnielove: This is scheduled to go until 10:30?

I'm sure the first hour is all talking about how beautiful the Grand Canyon is and how insane this stunt is.

I assumed they had covered that in the 2 hour pre-show I ignored.

That's what I had hoped too.


Nope. It was all about all the insane stuff he's done before, with a half dozen tributes to his great grandfather thrown in.
2013-06-23 08:50:25 PM  
1 votes:

Igor Jakovsky: Psycat: rhiannon: Psycat: Fuggin Bizzy: Psycat: Any of you young'uns remember Evel Knievel?  People would drive hundreds of miles and sit around for hours--and then his actual stunt would take maybe 10 seconds.  Why do people go through all that trouble for a peak experience that's over in almost no time at all?

Explain that to me, and I'll explain the Kentucky Derby to you.

It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...

John Force wants to know what you mean by "a whole day"?

Who's John Force?  Is he a friend of Max Powers?

Famous funny car driver.  Has hot daughters who also race.


A-hah, good name for a funny car driver.  Max Power (not Powers) was an alternative personality of one Homer J. Simpson, whose "Whoo, hoo!" is often used by pathetic geeks.
2013-06-23 08:49:47 PM  
1 votes:

wxboy: So, anyone know the exact location this is going on at?


The United States.
2013-06-23 08:43:55 PM  
1 votes:
So, when is he set to actually farking start?

Ad oh my god is Cantore wearing push-up briefs?
2013-06-23 08:43:29 PM  
1 votes:
number of minutes into the show: 45
number of steps taken: 0
2013-06-23 08:41:15 PM  
1 votes:
And now another commercial for the Navajo Nation and their unfunded tourism industry...
2013-06-23 08:39:47 PM  
1 votes:
Well, there are no meaningful sporting events going on right now, so I might as well watch this thing.
2013-06-23 08:39:06 PM  
1 votes:

NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: Psycat: NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: Psycat: It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...

You mean like that guy on AGT who spent 36 hours setting up a farking domino chain?

Yes, but that was part of his brilliantly-crafted master plan to have an awesome comeback on the Wild Card round where Piers Morgan compared him to Rocky Balboa, and thence on to the Semi-Finals.

/actually, stick bombs are radically different from *yawn* domino chains; they're quicker but a hell of a lot more explosive

//if it weren't for the Evel Knievel Effect, that guy on AGT wouldn't have a career

No no, not stick bombs. That was at least novel.  This season they seriously had a domino chain guy


Sprice did a great job with his Rube Goldberg Machine and rumor has it that the stick-bomb guy had mentored him.

/stick bombs really are awesome when they work
//they don't work worth shiat if they've been painted a week before
2013-06-23 08:37:16 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: Psycat: It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...

Said every girl who went on a first date with me.

Was that out loud?


That's why you have to pad things out with a Buster Keaton comedy afterwards...
2013-06-23 08:36:11 PM  
1 votes:

Psycat: NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: Psycat: It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...

You mean like that guy on AGT who spent 36 hours setting up a farking domino chain?

Yes, but that was part of his brilliantly-crafted master plan to have an awesome comeback on the Wild Card round where Piers Morgan compared him to Rocky Balboa, and thence on to the Semi-Finals.

/actually, stick bombs are radically different from *yawn* domino chains; they're quicker but a hell of a lot more explosive

//if it weren't for the Evel Knievel Effect, that guy on AGT wouldn't have a career


No no, not stick bombs. That was at least novel.  This season they seriously had a domino chain guy
2013-06-23 08:35:27 PM  
1 votes:

Psycat: It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...


Said every girl who went on a first date with me.

Was that out loud?
2013-06-23 08:35:23 PM  
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: donnielove: Wait, his mother is a Wallenda?  I'm very confused.

Why is that confusing?  Oh - you mean that he decided to use the name Wallenda, because if he used his dad's name no one would pay half as much attention to him?


Yeah, that's what threw me.  That and since his dad is his head of safety, I just assumed he was a Wallenda.
2013-06-23 08:34:44 PM  
1 votes:

rhiannon: Psycat: Fuggin Bizzy: Psycat: Any of you young'uns remember Evel Knievel?  People would drive hundreds of miles and sit around for hours--and then his actual stunt would take maybe 10 seconds.  Why do people go through all that trouble for a peak experience that's over in almost no time at all?

Explain that to me, and I'll explain the Kentucky Derby to you.

It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...

John Force wants to know what you mean by "a whole day"?


Who's John Force?  Is he a friend of Max Powers?
2013-06-23 08:30:52 PM  
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: Psycat: Fuggin Bizzy: Psycat: Any of you young'uns remember Evel Knievel?  People would drive hundreds of miles and sit around for hours--and then his actual stunt would take maybe 10 seconds.  Why do people go through all that trouble for a peak experience that's over in almost no time at all?

Explain that to me, and I'll explain the Kentucky Derby to you.

It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...

Me, too.  I have never understood it.

Oo - "prayer and contemplation!"  DRINK!


I think that what makes the Kentucky Derby work is that the two-minute race is bracketed by several hours of drinking Jack Daniels...
2013-06-23 08:29:28 PM  
1 votes:

donnielove: Wait, his mother is a Wallenda?  I'm very confused.


Why is that confusing?  Oh - you mean that he decided to use the name Wallenda, because if he used his dad's name no one would pay half as much attention to him?
2013-06-23 08:29:06 PM  
1 votes:

NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: Psycat: It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...

You mean like that guy on AGT who spent 36 hours setting up a farking domino chain?


Yes, but that was part of his brilliantly-crafted master plan to have an awesome comeback on the Wild Card round where Piers Morgan compared him to Rocky Balboa, and thence on to the Semi-Finals.

/actually, stick bombs are radically different from *yawn* domino chains; they're quicker but a hell of a lot more explosive

//if it weren't for the Evel Knievel Effect, that guy on AGT wouldn't have a career
2013-06-23 08:25:51 PM  
1 votes:

Psycat: Fuggin Bizzy: Psycat: Any of you young'uns remember Evel Knievel?  People would drive hundreds of miles and sit around for hours--and then his actual stunt would take maybe 10 seconds.  Why do people go through all that trouble for a peak experience that's over in almost no time at all?

Explain that to me, and I'll explain the Kentucky Derby to you.

It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...


Me, too.  I have never understood it.

Oo - "prayer and contemplation!"  DRINK!
2013-06-23 08:25:49 PM  
1 votes:

Psycat: It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...


You mean like that guy on AGT who spent 36 hours setting up a farking domino chain?
2013-06-23 08:24:28 PM  
1 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: Psycat: Any of you young'uns remember Evel Knievel?  People would drive hundreds of miles and sit around for hours--and then his actual stunt would take maybe 10 seconds.  Why do people go through all that trouble for a peak experience that's over in almost no time at all?

Explain that to me, and I'll explain the Kentucky Derby to you.


It really baffles me that people will devote a whole day when the main event lasts minutes or even seconds...
2013-06-23 08:24:19 PM  
1 votes:

AliceBToklasLives: Benevolent Misanthrope: Oh FFS - the Karl Wallenda fall AGAIN??

It's not TDC it's Snuff TV


OK - new drinking game rule - they show the goddamn Karl Wallenda fall, drink twice.
2013-06-23 08:24:13 PM  
1 votes:

IrishBlunder: Would it be wrong to walk at the bottom of the canyon underneath him with a dustpan and brush?


Yes it would...youd be better off with a wet vac
2013-06-23 08:21:56 PM  
1 votes:

herdgirl72: Psycat: What would really suck is if he was halfway over the canyon and a woman sitting on an inverted biplane clipped him...

Tee hee! I lol'd on that comment!
/reserved seat with my hand basket ready


I'm getting my own private brimstone jacuzzi.  Seriously, I'll bet stunt people have a very morbid sense of humor...
2013-06-23 08:21:12 PM  
1 votes:
Oh FFS - the Karl Wallenda fall AGAIN??
2013-06-23 08:18:44 PM  
1 votes:

FC Exile: Why isn't TDC streaming the actual show instead of this interactive no host crap?


They were streaming a osted segment a few minutes ago.  Don't tell me you actually want to watch the attention whores...
2013-06-23 08:18:43 PM  
1 votes:

thisiszombocom: so when is he going to actually start?  how long can tdc drag out the introduction


It's the Evel Knievel Effect.  There'd be an hour-long show that had nothing to do with motorcycles, then Evel would drive around for a few minutes, and then the stunt itself would be over in seconds.  A tightrope act lasts a bit longer, but they still have to add padding...
2013-06-23 08:15:17 PM  
1 votes:
Any of you young'uns remember Evel Knievel?  People would drive hundreds of miles and sit around for hours--and then his actual stunt would take maybe 10 seconds.  Why do people go through all that trouble for a peak experience that's over in almost no time at all?
2013-06-23 08:14:11 PM  
1 votes:
Let's start a drinking game - every time anyone mentions faith, Jebus, or anything religious, as if that's how he does it, drink.  When Nik mentions it, drink twice.  If he falls after declaring his trust in his god to keep him safe, drink the bottle.
2013-06-23 08:13:49 PM  
1 votes:

Igor Jakovsky: Nik is haunted by the gruesome fall of Karl Wallenda.  Let's show it to you!


Meh. They've shown it like 6 times in the last two hours.
2013-06-23 08:11:56 PM  
1 votes:

FC Exile: Is this on broadcast tv or not?


No, it's a DIscovery production.
2013-06-23 08:11:47 PM  
1 votes:

evaned: puppetmaster745: Wait, did they just say there's a paramedic stationed at the bottom of the Grand Canyon? That's mighty thoughtful of them.

Can paramedics pronounce someone dead in AZ? ("Injuries inconsistent with life" or something like that?) 'cause they'd need someone to do that.


I'm thinking the paramedic could just look over the rim and say, "Ummm, yeah, he's dead."
2013-06-23 08:09:20 PM  
1 votes:

puppetmaster745: Wait, did they just say there's a paramedic stationed at the bottom of the Grand Canyon? That's mighty thoughtful of them.


Can paramedics pronounce someone dead in AZ? ("Injuries inconsistent with life" or something like that?) 'cause they'd need someone to do that.
2013-06-23 08:07:33 PM  
1 votes:

soupart: Whew!  Thank goodness they have a paramedic down at the bottom!


Well, someone has to be there to stick the fork in him.

/really hope he doesn't fall...mostly because his kids are watching.
2013-06-23 08:07:09 PM  
1 votes:

thoughtpol: christ on a stick, Jim Cantore's there.


Oh dear sweet Jesus on a wire christ on a stick, Jim Cantore's there
2013-06-23 07:54:42 PM  
1 votes:
2013-06-23 07:52:31 PM  
1 votes:
What would really suck is if he was halfway over the canyon and a woman sitting on an inverted biplane clipped him...
2013-06-23 07:37:00 PM  
1 votes:
no manufactured drama here
2013-06-23 07:26:39 PM  
1 votes:

Ricardo Klement: Fuggin Bizzy: "That's really where I get my peace," he said. "I have confidence that if something were to happen to me, I know where I'm going."

No you don't. You have a theory on the matter, but nobody really knows for sure due to that 1-way ticket problem.

That said...good luck.

No, he has a hypothesis on the matter.


Isn't a hypothesis usually based on observation?

I'd say he has a belief on the matter - a belief that can never be proven or disproven conclusively, and has no relation to the Scientific Method whatsoever.

rhiannon: Is this going to be another "Oh thank you Jesus, thank you dear Jesus" deal like last time? Or do they not have him mic'd.


Well, that's reason enough for me not to pay attention to it.  That and, as mentioned above, his "Grand Canyon Walk" is not at the goddamn Grand Canyon.  (A Christian misrepresented something for dramatic effect and higher revenues?  Unpossible!)  To wit:

Permitting Wallenda's walk was not a casual decision, says Geri Hongeva, spokesperson for Navajo Parks & Recreation. "Discovery Channel, NBC Peacock Productions and Nik Wallenda all had to complete a number of clearances and gain proper permits," including archaeological, biological and environmental surveys, and handle tribal park land use fees and filming approvals.

Translation:  "Pay up, suckers."
2013-06-23 07:05:31 PM  
1 votes:
who here wants to see him fall? 100%? okay thank you
2013-06-23 07:04:43 PM  
1 votes:
I don't want to see the guy get killed, but from what I have seen on TV and read on the internet, he is such a smug attention whore. He claims to be a christian who just wants others to think of him as a "regular guy", yet his entire life has been about trying to set records and get everyone to pay attention to him. I hope he gets part way across, slips, and then has to hang onto the wire for dear life while they use a helicopter or something to save him. Maybe then a bit of humility will set in, and he will go spend time with his family instead of risking his life and his family's future on trying to get that next record or that next TV show or that next book deal.
2013-06-23 06:58:40 PM  
1 votes:
This guy is a complete idiot.

Summer is the worst time to do anything in the air in the high desert. Thermals off that canyon are going to pick him up and deposit his body somewhere Laughlin.

Of course, now Winter would be a bad time too considering snow and rain...
2013-06-23 06:56:04 PM  
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-06-23 06:55:46 PM  
1 votes:
Darwin shouldn't be feeling very confident since the article says that he's a 7th generation member of his family troupe.
2013-06-23 06:52:30 PM  
1 votes:
Why?
2013-06-23 06:46:17 PM  
1 votes:
After this, if he wants to walk across the second biggest hole in the world, he should contact my ex-wife.
 
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