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(Chicago Trib)   Nik Wallenda confident ahead of high wire act. Grand Canyon and Darwin looking pretty confident too   ( ) divider line 534
    More: Asinine, Karl Wallenda, Grand Canyon, Navajo Nation, wind gust, tropical storm andrea  
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4081 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2013 at 6:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-06-23 09:58:46 PM  

Molavian: Lord, make him fall.  I'll go to church and everything.

No, you won't.
2013-06-23 09:58:54 PM  
None of the Discovery people dare say a word - not because his life is on the line, but because Jesus is now in full control of the entire broadcast.
2013-06-23 09:58:56 PM  
If you like watching this, see if you can track down the video Sketchy Andy (trailer). It's different stuff, but same general vein.
2013-06-23 09:58:56 PM  
No matter what happens, the electricians did a damn good job of rigging that wire.
2013-06-23 09:59:05 PM  
I just had a "Crap, he's going t make it" thought - now all those serile f*ckwits are going to be vindicated in their belief that their god will make the impossible happen if you just invoke his name and keep blathering it on and on to unbelievers.
2013-06-23 09:59:12 PM  
"Thank you Lord.  Thank you Discovery Channel".

2013-06-23 09:59:23 PM  
Brandon McCarthy @BMcCarthy32
congrats to Joel Osteen on all the money he'll make off this incredible feat!
2013-06-23 09:59:24 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Molavian: Lord, make him fall.  I'll go to church and everything.

No, you won't.

Shhh, he doesn't know that.
2013-06-23 09:59:25 PM  

"Thank you, Discovery Channel, for believing in me."
2013-06-23 09:59:31 PM  
He's moving on from thanking Jesus to the Discovery this going to be like a NASCAR victory lane speech?
2013-06-23 09:59:52 PM  

Your_Midnight_Man: So Jesus is a sorcerer now?

I thought he was an architect, previous to his career as a prophet.
2013-06-23 09:59:54 PM  
"Thank you Lord. Thank you Discovery Channel for believing in me. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Lord."

Discovery Channel doesn't believe in you, dude.
They believe in the 50 share that they'll pick up tomorrow morning.
Also, the 20 million ratings in the 18 - 35 crowd they'll grab once Nielsen reports come out in about six to eight hours.
2013-06-23 10:00:05 PM  

Di Atribe: Di Atribe: 58blackstar: You'd be wrong. ;-)

LOLWTF..... ok you WIN

FTFM I have no idea what happened just then

Hey, do you guys think this guy's religious at all? It's so hard to tell.

Ahnold's my awesomeness has that effect on people sometimes. (yeah, right).
2013-06-23 10:00:36 PM  
Thank Discovery for Mythbusters and Kari Bryon.
2013-06-23 10:00:41 PM  
When he retires from this he can become an exorcist.
2013-06-23 10:00:41 PM  
show off
2013-06-23 10:00:51 PM  
Spoiler:  He thanks Jesus.
2013-06-23 10:00:59 PM  
Makes it across, falls of the blocks and breaks both legs...
2013-06-23 10:01:09 PM  
He just kissed that black man's foot!
2013-06-23 10:01:10 PM  
Holy shiat.
2013-06-23 10:01:14 PM  
He's alive...sadly.
2013-06-23 10:01:15 PM  
Thank you Jeebus.
2013-06-23 10:01:25 PM  
Why didn't he just run the entire way? This is so stupid.
2013-06-23 10:01:26 PM  
I SO would not be applauding while he was still on the wire right in front of me.

NOW you can applaud.
2013-06-23 10:01:51 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: BAAAAHAHAHA!

"Thank you, Discovery Channel, for believing in me."

Its like NASCAR.  You better damn well thank the sponsors.
2013-06-23 10:01:54 PM  
well done crazy tightrope man
2013-06-23 10:01:55 PM  
He brought his kids to watch? What a dick.
2013-06-23 10:01:57 PM  

desertgeek: Brandon McCarthy @BMcCarthy32
congrats to Joel Osteen on all the money he'll make off this incredible feat!

I'll bet his lawyers made sure he gets a percentage plus back-end royalties.
2013-06-23 10:01:58 PM  

Your_Midnight_Man: When he retires from this he can become an exorcist.

2013-06-23 10:02:09 PM  
Ooooh the first HUMAN. Was there a monkey or a duck or somethin?
2013-06-23 10:02:13 PM  
Sorcerer?? He's really in league with the Horned One! Get me across the canyon, Man-Goat!
2013-06-23 10:02:15 PM  
Because squirrels do that all the time.
2013-06-23 10:02:17 PM  
Good Job Nick!
2013-06-23 10:02:18 PM  
2013-06-23 10:02:20 PM  
Since Discovery is now the Jesus Channel, will we see Kate Gossalin show up on EWTN?
2013-06-23 10:02:36 PM  
He's not done is he?
2013-06-23 10:02:50 PM  
Huh...he made it.  Why am I not entertained?
2013-06-23 10:02:54 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: Even if you hate the Jesus talk, this is farking impressive

2013-06-23 10:02:56 PM  
First human to cross on a wire - my cat could do that shiat without a pole or Jeebus
2013-06-23 10:03:01 PM  
biatch stole his water
2013-06-23 10:03:02 PM  
Thank you, Lucifer, for making me smart enough to not become a daredevil.
2013-06-23 10:03:27 PM  
Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you, Lord.  Thank you, Discovery Channel.  Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you, Coke Zero.  Thank you, Man of Steel, in theaters now.  Thank you, Lord.
2013-06-23 10:03:33 PM  

Oh, now he was solely responsible for his safe crossing.  Yeah.  Now he's crediting his rhythm and adrenaline.
2013-06-23 10:03:38 PM  
Am I the only one who's been hearing just about anything Morales says in a "That's what she said" sorta way?
2013-06-23 10:03:49 PM  

Arachnophobe: It really is, it's tense as hell. Those shots from the downward facing camera are madness intentionally panned, zoomed, and wobbled all over the shot to try and make it look scarier.

Seriously, ever wonder why in this day and age they can't afford a decent tripod and video head? It's because they're trying to make it look worse than it is.

Yes, it's impressive. Yes, he does it largely for promotional purposes as the Oh Jebus prayer half hour. No, it isn't necessary to have deliberately shaky or fast-panning video to try and make it look scarier.
2013-06-23 10:03:52 PM  

insertdip: Why didn't he just run the entire way? This is so stupid.

He ran when he was over the ground again.
2013-06-23 10:03:57 PM  
"Me Me Me Me Me Me Me" - Jesus Tightrope Douche
2013-06-23 10:04:24 PM  
He didn't cross the FARKING GRAND CANYON!

Stop saying it. Just stop.
2013-06-23 10:04:30 PM  
If you guys are into this you'd probably like Man on Wire- because Philippe Petit tight roped across the twin towers *without permission*. Documentary.
2013-06-23 10:04:42 PM  
Now when will someone jetpack their way to the Grand Canyon?
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