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(Metro)   To pun, or not to pun, that is the pun. By the way, this post is about puns   (metro.co.uk) divider line 68
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4483 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2013 at 9:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-23 08:59:47 AM
Very punny!
 
2013-06-23 09:27:29 AM
That picture has to be shopped
 
2013-06-23 09:28:45 AM
It'll be one upun another in this place.
 
2013-06-23 09:31:04 AM
Off to Callahan's with 'em! On Punday, of course
 
2013-06-23 09:32:08 AM
Were it not for satire, sarcasm and mockery, I'd have no sense of humor.  Oh, and puns.  Puns, too.
 
2013-06-23 09:35:53 AM

MrHappyRotter: Were it not for satire, sarcasm and mockery, I'd have no sense of humor.  Oh, and puns.  Puns, too.


You're an evil man.

I like that.
 
2013-06-23 09:36:53 AM
Puns can be funny.

An entire article about puns is wretched.
 
2013-06-23 09:37:31 AM
I did a theatrical performance on puns.

Really, it was just a play on words.
 
2013-06-23 09:39:56 AM
If there's anything I despise, it's gratuitous......


*dons sunglasses*

......pun-tification.

/Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!
 
2013-06-23 09:41:24 AM
Not sure which witch it was but she had a pun in the coven.
 
2013-06-23 09:42:21 AM
As they say at the bakery, the bun is the lowest form of wheat.
 
2013-06-23 09:43:19 AM

Kibbler: Not sure which witch it was but she had a pun in the coven.


That wasn't a pun, it was a twomor.
 
2013-06-23 09:50:03 AM
I do love a good play on words, but my poor husband cannot stand the punishment.
 
2013-06-23 09:50:08 AM
I'm more into limericks.
 
2013-06-23 09:53:59 AM

wambu: Puns can be funny.

An entire article about puns is wretched.


Richard Lederer diapproves.
 
2013-06-23 09:54:36 AM
*disaproves*

dammit
 
2013-06-23 09:55:13 AM
 
2013-06-23 09:55:15 AM
O FFS

DISAPPROVES
 
2013-06-23 09:56:32 AM

Pugdaddyk: I'm more into limericks.


There once was a Woman named Kitty
Whose puns were not all that witty
She stepped up to the fore
not wondering more
About why she could never be be Mitty
 
2013-06-23 09:58:47 AM
I was  ripped off last time I bought copy paper , totally got reamed.
 
2013-06-23 10:00:49 AM
There once was a man named Skinner
who took a young woman to dinner
At a quarter past nine
they sat down to dine
at a quarter past ten it was in her.
Dinner, not Skinner
for Skinner was no beginner.
He was in her
before dinner
 
2013-06-23 10:01:35 AM
You clowns should take off your clothes.

I do love a comic strip!
 
2013-06-23 10:02:54 AM

Pugdaddyk: Skinner


img.fark.net
Always had a way with the ladies.
 
2013-06-23 10:06:41 AM
Quick! Check the PolTab!
There's a report just in of police being called to a daycare for a 3 YO resisting a rest!
 
2013-06-23 10:10:31 AM
www.iheartfunny.com
 
2013-06-23 10:11:47 AM
My wife and I were in a kayak in Monterey Bay.  We had pulled up next to the volunteer guard who was telling us about the various birds that had shown up that morning.  We noticed another couple paddling rather frantically in our direction.  These folks seemed very excited and crashed into our boats.

The woman in the craft exclaims, "Oh my God!  There is a dead sea lion over there!" as she points toward the shore.

The guard fellow calmy replies, "I doubt it is dead.  It is probably just sleeping.  Did you poke it with your oar?"

The woman says, "No, we didn't poke it!  But do sea lions sleep like that?  It looked like it is dead!"

I looked out across the bay and the fog, the waves sofly rolling, the gulls.  Smelling the salt air.  I looked at the frantic woman and said, "Ma'am, haven't you ever heard of a Sealy Posturepedic?"

Later we paddled away from this unlikely situation in the middle of Monterey Bay and I thought to myself, "Gees, I could live a hundred more years, and never have the opportunity to use that pun again."
 
2013-06-23 10:20:29 AM
There once was a king who insisted on having his castle filled with all the animals of the forest. His accumulation of subjects grew over the years and upon a census came an amount of over 5,000 animals living amongst the grounds. As time passed, the townspeople grew weary of the continual stench coming from the area of the castle. A crusade was formed and a tyranny formed to over throw the king and his 'zoo' of animals. After a long fought battle, the king was finally removed from the throne and it goes to say....it was the first time ever that the reign was canceled due to the game.
 
2013-06-23 10:25:09 AM
My favorite:

And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church...

Works a lot better in Greek
 
2013-06-23 10:26:07 AM
There's this frustrated cannibal, see, and he threw up his hands...
 
2013-06-23 10:26:47 AM

gottagopee: I do love a good play on words, but my poor husband cannot stand the punishment.


He must be pun at farties
 
2013-06-23 10:28:23 AM
I bet you think this pun is about you
 
2013-06-23 10:29:18 AM
 
2013-06-23 10:30:08 AM

LewDux: gottagopee: I do love a good play on words, but my poor husband cannot stand the punishment.

He must be pun at farties


I should be punish`ed
For every pun I shed
Do not leave a puny shred
Of my punnish head
 
2013-06-23 10:30:35 AM
When I was in college, I had a roommate who was very philosophically inclined. He majored in philosophy, he was forever reading hefty tomes by Kant and Neitzche, and he could be solidly relied upon to drag moral dialectics into any conversation.

I always thought he was kind of uptight, and needed to get laid, so some friends and I dragged him to this huge block party that was swimming with DTF sorority girls. He hung around for about an hour, but he looked miserable. A couple of fine girls were trying to chat him up, but he just wasn't into it. Finally, after about two hours, I caught him sitting by himself in a corner, completely ignoring the two hot drunk chicks making out beside him, and reading a copy of Meditations on First Philosophy.

And then I realized: he was putting Descartes before the whores.
 
2013-06-23 10:32:44 AM
NEWSFLASH:

100 HARES ESCAPE FROM ZOO

POLICE ARE COMBING THE AREA
 
2013-06-23 10:34:35 AM
img153.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-23 10:35:52 AM
Back in the mid 1800's there were so many people wanting to go on the wagon trains to Oregon and California that they had to set space limits. You were allowed on the wagons if you took up less than 24" of space on the seat. This just goes to show that there is no west for the reary.
 
2013-06-23 10:36:24 AM
FAR TOO APPROPRIATE FOR FARK:

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion
 
2013-06-23 10:38:16 AM
I always feel sick when I get a little coffee.
 
2013-06-23 10:38:46 AM
I developed my love of puns from my grandfather. He must have been proud that I had the intelligence to emulate him; he always said I was a fart smeller.
 
2013-06-23 10:40:40 AM
There was an old English village that had trouble with a pair of monks that owned a florist shop. They cheated and abused everyone else in the village and the sheriff wasn't able to stop them. The village elders got together and decided to hire Hugh the Giant and see if he could do something. Within hours, Hugh scared the monks so bad that they left town forever. Remember folks, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
 
2013-06-23 10:40:41 AM
The Norwegian robot analyzed a bird; it Scandinavian.
 
2013-06-23 10:42:31 AM
Undead sauciers roux from beyond the gravy
 
TWX
2013-06-23 10:42:52 AM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: As they say at the bakery, the bun is the lowest form of wheat.


and the bun is the lowest form of humor, so it would seem...

/slogged through 26 <i>Xanth</i> books in about six weeks
//never made it through <i>Cube Route</i>
///KMN
 
2013-06-23 10:43:53 AM

Thudfark: Undead sauciers roux from beyond the gravy


Sauce?
 
2013-06-23 10:44:36 AM

Deathfrogg: Thudfark: Undead sauciers roux from beyond the gravy

Sauce?


Whispypedia
 
2013-06-23 10:48:17 AM

Thudfark: Deathfrogg: Thudfark: Undead sauciers roux from beyond the gravy

Sauce?

Whispypedia


Sautétion needed
 
2013-06-23 10:49:24 AM
A man takes his duck to the vet. The vet examines the bird and pronounces it dead.
"I want a second opinion," the man says. So the vet goes out and brings in a Labrador. The dog sniffs the duck and shakes its head sadly.
"I'm still not convinced," the man says. So the vet goes out again and this time brings in a cat. The cat also sniffs the duck and shakes its head.
The man sighs. "Okay, I'll accept your diagnosis. What's the bill for this?"
"$510," the vet replies.
"$510?!" the man exclaims. "Just to tell me my duck is dead?!"
"It would only have been $10 if you'd just listened to me to start with," the vet tells him. "Now, though, it's $250 for the Lab report and another $250 for the cat scan."
 
2013-06-23 10:58:45 AM
I've told several times here of the old voodoo spell you can use to heal sick dolphins and make them invulnerable to harm: put three fledgling seagulls in a basket, jump three times over a lion that's been drugged into insensitivity, but not unconsciousness, and feed the sick dolphin one seagull at midnight on the first day of the next three full moons. If it survives through the time it takes to administer the treatment, it'll live forever.

Be careful if you do this in the states, though, or you'll get arrested for violating the Mann Act: transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
 
2013-06-23 11:41:57 AM

sbchamp: Off to Callahan's with 'em! On Punday, of course


Another Spider Robinson fan!  Read any of the Lady Sally books?
 
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