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(International Business Times)   Why plants don't talk back: they're too busy working out math problems. Spiffy bonus: girl talk puts two inches on a tomato plant   (ibtimes.co.uk) divider line 48
    More: Interesting, protein complex, plants, equations  
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5946 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2013 at 7:32 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-23 07:07:25 AM  
That's it, I'm boycotting plants until they respect men's rights / gender equality.
 
2013-06-23 07:35:43 AM  
Plants use metric
 
2013-06-23 07:39:19 AM  
The plants grow 2 inches in the opposite direction to get away from the nagging
 
2013-06-23 07:44:54 AM  
when girls talk, my stalk grows by 2 inches, too.

I'm really proud of my award-winning tomatoes.  What are you talking about?
 
2013-06-23 07:49:18 AM  
I wonder how skepchick will respond to this one.
 
2013-06-23 07:49:18 AM  

Bob Down: Plants use metric


Im pretty sure plants are not entirely ( or even mostly) base 10
 
2013-06-23 07:53:19 AM  
Spiffy Stiffy bonus: girl talk puts two inches on a tomato plant

FTFY subby.
 
2013-06-23 07:57:19 AM  
There are so many layers of science fail going on here I could create a documentary and voluminous flow charts. fark it
 
2013-06-23 08:02:08 AM  
It's weird. When a woman won't stop talking, I'll steadily lose at least two inches over the course of the evening.
 
2013-06-23 08:15:27 AM  

freewill: It's weird. When a woman won't stop talking, I'll steadily lose at least two inches over the course of the evening.


Because you are doing it wrong.
Just ask any woman.
 
2013-06-23 08:16:10 AM  
Spliffy bonus: A small flowering plant in the mustard family was used in the study. Presumably any plant could have been used for an illustrative photo, if one was necessary. But a photo of opium poppies is used to lead the article.
 
2013-06-23 08:17:35 AM  
This is what happens when you the things you see proper scientists doing without understanding why they're doing it. I expect next they'll develop complex computer models that use lots of data in an unspecified way and use them to make predictions about how a plant will grow.
 
2013-06-23 08:19:16 AM  
s1.postimg.org
 
2013-06-23 08:30:49 AM  
How do you know these things unless you are a plant?
 
2013-06-23 08:33:17 AM  

berylman: There are so many layers of science fail going on here I could create a documentary and voluminous flow charts. fark it


Yup
 
2013-06-23 08:37:54 AM  

berylman: There are so many layers of science fail going on here I could create a documentary and voluminous flow charts. fark it


The article is totally legit. I know I do complex mathematics every time I try and catch a ball. Without incorporating wind speed and direction, local gravity, air density, hight of thrower, air resistance of the ball and an accurate measurement of the speed of the ball I would never know exactly where it would end up.
 
2013-06-23 08:40:55 AM  

berylman: There are so many layers of science fail going on here I could create a documentary and voluminous flow charts. fark it


No it's true. Humans do this even in the earliest embryonic stages and throughout development when they perform calculations to determine the correct size and angle of blood vessels as they development. They must have consciously thought about it right? It's too bad all but a very few lose that mastery of fluid dynamics as we age.
 
2013-06-23 08:49:08 AM  

berylman: There are so many layers of science fail going on here I could create a documentary and voluminous flow charts. fark it


The article is spot on. I only type not, not talk, because calculating the vibrational frequency of my vocal cords to produce the right sound is too difficult.
 
2013-06-23 09:00:14 AM  
girl talk puts two inches on a tomato plant

Works on Mr. Happy as well. Who knew?
 
2013-06-23 09:06:22 AM  
So, where does this leave vegetarians?
 
2013-06-23 09:17:52 AM  

sotua: So, where does this leave vegetarians?


Probably making something tasty.
 
2013-06-23 09:37:44 AM  
when girls talk, my stalk grows by 2 inches, too.

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-23 09:49:27 AM  
img.fark.net
img.fark.net

/Also, bonus Deep Thoughts:
//If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
 
2013-06-23 09:55:23 AM  

RobSeace: [img.fark.net image 640x480]
[img.fark.net image 640x480]

/Also, bonus Deep Thoughts:
//If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-23 09:55:25 AM  
RICKY I CAUGHT YOU CHEATING ON THE GRAMMAR TEST GIMME THAT POPPY
 
2013-06-23 09:58:40 AM  
Wait until we discover quantum entanglement in biological molecular binding!

If you think weed is strong now...
 
2013-06-23 10:05:30 AM  

Heraclitus: Wait until we discover quantum entanglement in biological molecular binding!

If you think weed is strong now...


wake me up when we can download movies from the future that haven't even been MADE yet.  like jurassic park 6:  revenge in tokyo
 
2013-06-23 10:19:58 AM  
It's not nice calling aspies plants.
 
2013-06-23 10:26:34 AM  
Oh yeah?  Let's see if that maple can solve this equation ... How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
 
2013-06-23 10:34:49 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Heraclitus: Wait until we discover quantum entanglement in biological molecular binding!

If you think weed is strong now...

wake me up when we can download movies from the future that haven't even been MADE yet.  like jurassic park 6:  revenge in tokyo


What if you got high BEFORE you smoked a dewby?

Schrodinger's Dank...
 
2013-06-23 10:38:18 AM  
Huh, maybe the pictured papaver somniferum, that magical plant, figures it can cut out the middle man.
 
GBB
2013-06-23 10:42:18 AM  
Meanwhile, this Plinko board is using complex particle physics, statistics, and a little intuition to determine if you should get $10,000 or if it wants to fark with you and switch it to $0 at the last second.
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-23 10:42:36 AM  
My hamburger couldn't do complex math as a cow. Who is the monster now vegans?
 
2013-06-23 10:56:52 AM  

GBB: Meanwhile, this Plinko board is using complex particle physics, statistics, and a little intuition to determine if you should get $10,000 or if it wants to fark with you and switch it to $0 at the last second.
[25.media.tumblr.com image 445x349]


that's bob barker (or that grotesquely obese man that's currently on the show) farking around the physics.  not the board itself.  see he has powers.  that's why he can't lose weight
 
2013-06-23 11:06:09 AM  
Okay, second attempt:
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-23 11:09:36 AM  
I wonder how much they'd grow listening to Girl Talk...
 
2013-06-23 11:21:50 AM  
Oh, they will talk. You just have to give them a little encouragement. Like 1000V of encouragement!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-23 11:25:01 AM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Oh, they will talk. You just have to give them a little encouragement. Like 1000V of encouragement!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

[img.fark.net image 620x620]


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-23 11:33:34 AM  
I put two inches to a tomato once and you don't hear me bragging.
 
2013-06-23 11:34:56 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: GBB: Meanwhile, this Plinko board is using complex particle physics, statistics, and a little intuition to determine if you should get $10,000 or if it wants to fark with you and switch it to $0 at the last second.
[25.media.tumblr.com image 445x349]

that's bob barker (or that grotesquely obese man that's currently on the show) farking around the physics.  not the board itself.  see he has powers.  that's why he can't lose weight


I saw an episode last week for the first time since Barker retired. I spent half the show wondering who the skinny guy was who had replaced Drew Carey.
 
2013-06-23 11:36:20 AM  
"Quadratic equations, sir.  Fiendishly difficult ones by all accounts."
 
2013-06-23 11:46:51 AM  

BolloxReader: Jon iz teh kewl: GBB: Meanwhile, this Plinko board is using complex particle physics, statistics, and a little intuition to determine if you should get $10,000 or if it wants to fark with you and switch it to $0 at the last second.
[25.media.tumblr.com image 445x349]

that's bob barker (or that grotesquely obese man that's currently on the show) farking around the physics.  not the board itself.  see he has powers.  that's why he can't lose weight

I saw an episode last week for the first time since Barker retired. I spent half the show wondering who the skinny guy was who had replaced Drew Carey.


but his face remains doughy what's up with taht

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-23 12:05:24 PM  
cfile203.uf.daum.net
 
2013-06-23 12:06:51 PM  
cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2013-06-23 12:13:41 PM  

GBB: Meanwhile, this Plinko board is using complex particle physics, statistics, and a little intuition to determine if you should get $10,000 or if it wants to fark with you and switch it to $0 at the last second.
[25.media.tumblr.com image 445x349]


I was thinking exactly this.

To make the analogy closer, what we could do is get millions of Plinko boards and run tests.  The ones that put the disc in the $10,000 slot most often are kept, the others are destroyed.  Then new Plinko boards are built that have similar characteristics as the winners.  Rinse, repeat.

Evolution by natural selection...How the Fark does it work?
 
2013-06-23 12:17:03 PM  
i2.ytimg.com
 
2013-06-23 04:21:31 PM  
The conclusions drawn in this article are mind-numbing.
 
2013-06-23 06:18:50 PM  
I can't reasonably trust the veracity of an article that misspells "math" in the headline!

/Yes, British, I know.
 
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