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(Daily Mail)   Girl writes letter explaining in painful detail why she is dumping her boyfriend   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 119
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20478 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2013 at 9:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-22 10:39:15 PM  
If this is real, there is a high probability this guy got laid.

Yeah, I'm calling shenanigans.
 
2013-06-22 10:41:44 PM  
Fake as hell, but still pretty funny.
 
2013-06-22 10:45:00 PM  
I use the little circles over my i's, when I'm writing more slowly.  Also, cereal with water deserves more than a dumpin'.
 
2013-06-22 10:49:22 PM  
I am calling shenanigans on that letter.
 
2013-06-22 10:53:28 PM  

BroncoFan_17: Fake as hell, but still pretty funny.


Pretty much. I did chuckle at the sweat pants to her Grandma's funeral.
 
2013-06-22 10:54:14 PM  

MrHappyRotter: I mean, I don't eat my cereal with water, but I'm going to disagree with that centipede infested coont and say, there's nothing gross about pouring water on cereal rather than the more typical use of milk.


No -- its incredibly disgusting.

Its just vile.
 
2013-06-22 11:01:30 PM  
Yet she's the immature jerk that decides to publicly share what should always be a private matter(Barring the other party being guilty of something criminal)

although I do agree with the people saying "probably fake"

If not, these two  sound pretty young and stupid
 
2013-06-22 11:05:22 PM  
Can anybody make out the word at the end of the airbrushed clothes line?

The rest of it is cute funny.
 
2013-06-22 11:06:35 PM  
Probably not real but that was farking funny.
 
2013-06-22 11:08:51 PM  
With a list so long, how is it that she wasn't repulsed from the start?

I call shenanigans: this is a bullshiat EmpowermentTM stunt.
 
2013-06-22 11:14:00 PM  
Fake letter is fake.  Fake letter is also risible.
 
2013-06-22 11:15:22 PM  
Seriously this is so fake.

I could write out 150 weird and annoying things about my SO, but I love him all the same. So if the annoying quirks aren't worth the person you're with, you know, being a good person- then you shouldn't be dating them in the first place.

Yea, if Waterworld is on, then my SO is watching it and insisting it is 'so bad it is good!' but, shiat, the guy puts up with my *insane* rules like 'only eat the ugly cookies I make- the rest are for my coworkers/family/friends' and spazzing out when (specifically, I will suddenly grab the door and the armrest as if preparing for impact) riding in the car and he goes 1 mph over the speed limit. That is exactly what matters in a relationship- you know exactly how annoying the other person is, and you just deal with it because they rock. Plus, everyone is annoying. Even you.
 
2013-06-22 11:17:49 PM  

Virtual Pariah: Can anybody make out the word at the end of the airbrushed clothes line?

The rest of it is cute funny.


"This is a big one"

I guess something had to be.
 
2013-06-22 11:27:25 PM  
I don't understand that last one. The Lobster is a happening, sexy place for love.

/Here . . . wear this sexy bib. baby. Let me see the butter drip from your lips.
 
2013-06-22 11:29:21 PM  

MrHappyRotter: there's nothing gross about pouring water on cereal


Many years ago, when I was in college and the milk I'd bought had gone bad, I tried Diet Coke on cereal. This did not work at all. Water on cereal would've been an improvement. I never repeated this experiment, and kept a much closer eye on the expiration dates for the milk after that.
 
2013-06-22 11:46:05 PM  

Delay: On the other hand, let's discuss something about the article. How many images of Michael Phelps in a Speedo do you have stored on your computer? Let's compare? I will count mine. None. How many do you have?


You owe me a new keyboard.

/salute
 
2013-06-22 11:48:20 PM  
Of course it's fake (unless it was written by an 80-year-old).

Nobody under the age of 40 would bother committing a list like that to actual pen and paper; they forget those things exist after Grade 8.   It would be formulated as an email or a Facebook post instead.

There are no major spelling errors.  That would be a) impossible for today's workforce, unassisted by spell-checking, and b) atypical of ad-hoc notices composed in the heat of the moment by a person suffering the heightened emotions of relationship termination.

/Yes, I have an onion in my belt.  You could have one too, if you weren't standing on my lawn.
 
2013-06-22 11:52:35 PM  
I do not believe that there is a man who wears leather pants, calls his cockatoo his baby, and has too many pictures of Michael Phelps junk-- & THIS SAME MAN---wears sweat pants to a funeral, likes predator 2, wears airbrushed clothing, and enjoys kirk cameron.
CONCLUSION: She is dating identical twins, one of whom is a homosexual and is doing his christian -conservative brother a favor by spending time with his deranged fiancee.
 
2013-06-22 11:57:06 PM  

Thurston Howell: /Yes, I have an onion in my belt.


Is it a big yellow one?
 
2013-06-23 12:00:36 AM  
I call BS.  No one's favorite actor is Kirk Cameron.
 
2013-06-23 12:03:38 AM  
Nice find, subby. Mostly superficial enough to be amusing, no really 'serious' complaints in there.


And sexuality isn't a binary pair of possibilities, folks. Dude doesn't have to be gay or straight...
 
2013-06-23 12:04:23 AM  
Put on something sexy, we're goin to Red Lobster!

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-23 12:11:06 AM  

AbiNormal: Put on something sexy, we're goin to Red Lobster!

[img.fark.net image 441x325]


Awesome
 
2013-06-23 12:11:52 AM  
Ok, I'm totally with her on the "cousint" one.  I tolerate grammar oddities well, and regional variations and such, but stuff like adding a t to cousin would drive me up a wall.
 
2013-06-23 12:37:46 AM  

spidermilk: Seriously this is so fake.

I could write out 150 weird and annoying things about my SO, but I love him all the same. So if the annoying quirks aren't worth the person you're with, you know, being a good person- then you shouldn't be dating them in the first place.


She isn't dating him, she dumped him, or did you miss that part? Unless the person is someone you've known for a while, these are the kind of things you find out about by dating them.
 
2013-06-23 12:43:12 AM  
"One-too-many posters of Michael Phelps in a speedo"??? What, pray-tell, is the optimum number of such items?
 
2013-06-23 12:45:46 AM  

MBK: Why the hell would you date someone like that in the first place?


Because in the beginning they seem normal. That first kiss was sweet and everything you'd hoped it would be. He wasn't what you were looking for, but now you can't imagine your world without him. You begin building dreams around him.

As things progress you notice a few things that annoy you, but hey, nobody's perfect, right? But those minor annoyances don't go away. And he adds new ones. But hey, it's his quirks that make him who he is. And he does have some endearing qualities. The sex is great and his friends and family are accepting.

But the sex becomes routine. Or loses passion. Or just isn't as great anymore. And he's selfish in bed. Or he's too rough with your clit and won't listen when you tell him to ease up. Or he has a foot fetish. And he suggested that maybe your jeans are getting tight. Really? You haven't said shiat about his expanding beer pouch. Let alone the nasty beer burps. Those annoyances and quirks are becoming more like a festering sore that reveal the innermost workings of his mind.

And who knew. He's a sexist, psuedo Christian conservative jerk. Who eats cereal with farking waterl. I mean really who the fark does that?!

And all his endearing qualities just don't outweigh all the shiat he does that gets on your last farking nerve. And besides there are several cute guys who've been giving you the eye. You can do better.

And you make the list. And tell him to kick rocks.

At least that's what I think happened : )
 
2013-06-23 01:01:08 AM  
Rape Culture

errrr sumthin'
 
2013-06-23 01:03:43 AM  

FrancoFile: I think we've found the President of the International Taylor Swift Fan Club.


Bada Bing
 
2013-06-23 01:10:22 AM  
Water on cereal is the only one I found disturbing, although most of them are not my style. Also, fake. Even skim milk on cereal is awful.
 
2013-06-23 01:10:32 AM  
Thurston Howell:

Nobody under the age of 40 would bother committing a list like that to actual pen and paper; they forget those things exist after Grade 8.   It would be formulated as an email or a Facebook post instead.

I'm 33 and I use paper and pen all the time. Mostly for the grocery list, but you get the idea.
 
2013-06-23 01:15:38 AM  

hundreddollarman: He sounds like a tea partier.


fark off.

You don't get it, read Orwell, Huxley, Bastiat, Hayak or the Constitution...

Sounds more like a metro-sexual urban liberal.

/Socialism is for the people, not the Socialists.
 
2013-06-23 01:17:06 AM  

Dear Jerk: Water on cereal is the only one I found disturbing, although most of them are not my style. Also, fake. Even skim milk on cereal is awful.


Skim milk is fine once you get used to it. As for water, I dated a girl who would eat it that way. As long as the water is cold from the fridge its its really not that bad as long as you don't think to much about it.
 
2013-06-23 01:25:39 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-23 01:39:55 AM  

spaten: hundreddollarman: He sounds like a tea partier.

fark off.

You don't get it, read Orwell, Huxley, Bastiat, Hayak or the Constitution...

Sounds more like a metro-sexual urban liberal.

/Socialism is for the people, not the Socialists.


Are you sure? These items make him sound like mouth-breathing, Jesus-rode-on-a-dinosaur, AR-15 lovin' teatard to me.

- "You insist on calling the president Barack HUSSEIN Obama."
- "You used air quotes when you talked about the moon landing."
- "You kiss your entire family on the mouth."
- "Your favorite actor is Kirk Cameron."
- "You told me, 'Put on something sexy, we're going to Red Lobster.' "
 
2013-06-23 01:42:12 AM  
She clearly doesn't wear sexy clothes....  i'd say she did him a favor.  Wouldn't want a toad of a girlfriend that i'd have to ASK her to wear sexy clothes - she should already come that way and wonder why everyone keeps staring at her.

/shallow - I know... don't worry, I won't change.
 
2013-06-23 01:43:57 AM  

hundreddollarman: These items make him sound like mouth-breathing, Jesus-rode-on-a-dinosaur, AR-15 lovin' teatard to me.


He doesn't exist.
 
2013-06-23 01:51:25 AM  

TomD9938: hundreddollarman: These items make him sound like mouth-breathing, Jesus-rode-on-a-dinosaur, AR-15 lovin' teatard to me.

He doesn't exist.


Like Manti Te'o's girlfriend?
 
2013-06-23 02:48:18 AM  

aerojockey: Ok, I'm totally with her on the "cousint" one.  I tolerate grammar oddities well, and regional variations and such, but stuff like adding a t to cousin would drive me up a wall.


img.fark.net

My ma calls this gemstone Perry-O-Dot.

The primary correct pronounciation is Per-ih-Doe.

The secondary correct pronounciation is Per-ih-Dot, after a town where it was first mined in the US. No blasted REE about it.

Don't argue, I knew professional jewelers. They used the primary pronounciation consistently.

Or else it's chrysolite, an old, seldom used term that is derived from Greek khrusos (gold) + lithos (stone), and a word which almost no one with even a quarter-teaspoon of partly-functional wits could mangle.

I found that one accidentally while looking up the standard name for the stone.

/pedantic cat is pedantic and slightly angry
 
2013-06-23 02:57:09 AM  

Kittypie070: aerojockey: Ok, I'm totally with her on the "cousint" one.  I tolerate grammar oddities well, and regional variations and such, but stuff like adding a t to cousin would drive me up a wall.

[img.fark.net image 119x118]

My ma calls this gemstone Perry-O-Dot.

The primary correct pronounciation is Per-ih-Doe.

The secondary correct pronounciation is Per-ih-Dot, after a town where it was first mined in the US. No blasted REE about it.

Don't argue, I knew professional jewelers. They used the primary pronounciation consistently.

Or else it's chrysolite, an old, seldom used term that is derived from Greek khrusos (gold) + lithos (stone), and a word which almost no one with even a quarter-teaspoon of partly-functional wits could mangle.

I found that one accidentally while looking up the standard name for the stone.

/pedantic cat is pedantic and slightly angry


We see a lot of "so I went acrossT the street" where I'm at.  Drives me farking nuts.  You can't just add a T to stuff.
 
2013-06-23 04:07:22 AM  
Now he's gonna have to spend 10¢ for twelve more
 
2013-06-23 04:14:58 AM  

MBK: Why the hell would you date someone like that in the first place?


1) They're both very young
2) I have a feeling he's cute, at least cute enough to give her the butterflies
3) Lots of idiots have a kind of superficial charm. He might have seemed funny when she first met him
4) They're both very young

Nothing in her letter implied that he treated her badly. He is apparently just a general, all-round eejit. And, as aforementioned, they're both very young. Good on her for realizing he wasn't someone to waste her time on.
 
2013-06-23 04:24:36 AM  

zorlack7: This is greenlit why?


because i really needed one more green to round out my total
 
2013-06-23 04:46:58 AM  

The Tribune's Mr. Sly: Predator 2 was WAY better than the original.


It's like comparing Homer to Shakespeare, really.

The world needs both.
 
2013-06-23 05:05:10 AM  
Circles over the i's is a tween/teen thing.  They turn into little hearts when they get their first crush.  Most girls grow out of it before they leave high school.  If you meet up with a grown women (twenties or more) who still does it, think twice before dating her.  If she's grown and still drawing cute little hearts, RUN AWAY!
 
2013-06-23 05:17:42 AM  

Arthur Jumbles: some_beer_drinker: i hate to tell you, but he sounds kind of gay...

Gay and in denial due to conservative Christian beliefs.


Marcus and Michelle Bachmann: The Next Generation
 
2013-06-23 05:19:31 AM  
Alright, I read TFA.  The girl is dumping him over some pretty petty shiat, though the Phelps posters and one direction thing does highly suggest he is gay.

Jeez, grow up and get back to me when your partner gives you an actual reason for a dumping, like farking her AA sponsor in your own house.  Not that I'm bitter.  No, I would never be bitter ....

/I think I need to stop drinking and go to bed
 
2013-06-23 05:25:56 AM  

zabadu: She dots her i's with little circles.

She really has poor taste in men, but she's probably 22 or 23


Really, 22 or 23?
Is that what our 22-23 year olds have come to?
Its completely fake, but at least tell me it was supposed to be fake 13 or so.
 
2013-06-23 05:47:13 AM  
"And-might I finally add-you have the head of a chicken."

/obscure to anyone younger than 40
 
2013-06-23 08:34:13 AM  
Daily Mail, fairly old cultural references (Predator, Taz) for person's supposed young age...

i1.kym-cdn.com
 
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