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(Slate)   Europeans vs. Americans: Europeans are better looking, more fit, better educated, more cultured, better drivers, better at languages (including English), and don't shoot each other as much. And now it turns out they have better DVRs, too. DAMNIT   (slate.com) divider line 17
    More: Sad, Europeans, DVR, Europe, The End of the Game, Josh Levin, sporting events, Bostonians  
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7734 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2013 at 7:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-22 08:33:53 PM
6 votes:
Well, European men have uncut penises that look like turtleheads. And because of the inevitable buildup of smegma, they also taste like rotten cheese. At least that's what my mom told me.
2013-06-22 06:06:12 PM
4 votes:
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2013-06-22 01:48:30 PM
3 votes:
Except by "European", this article writer means "British", and the British are none of those things. The British are worse in practically every way when compared to America, except for very current things, like the obesity problem. But they're catching up in that, and they'll pass us soon. That's because Britain views America as sort of a laboratory for bad ideas. If we do anything stupidly enough, like how we compensate bankers or how we decide to invade other countries, the Brits are sure to say, "Well, that's a right catastrophe. Let's give it a go, then!"
Not all of Europe is like that. Germany looks across the water and says, "What the fark?" Britain turns to Germany and says, "Hold my beer."
2013-06-23 12:27:23 AM
2 votes:
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2013-06-22 10:37:49 PM
2 votes:

traylor: Why yes, my DVR is better than yours. I love my European DVR here in Europe. I can skip commercials too! It's awesome.

/oh and Subby, one thing you forgot: my average penis size is also bigger than yours
//and my average female breast size too!


You are quite correct.  There are bigger dicks in Europe.
2013-06-22 10:53:44 PM
1 votes:

Mentat: WhippingBoy: At least American's don't use stupid words to describe things: "I'm going to use my mobile to order take-away". WTF is that gibberish supposed to mean?

I've never heard a single American use that phrase.


Exactly.
2013-06-22 10:24:43 PM
1 votes:

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Someone's bitter.  Couldn't get a visa?
2013-06-22 10:03:38 PM
1 votes:
Yeah, but we're better shots.
2013-06-22 09:07:04 PM
1 votes:
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Seriously though, Europe has racial homogeneity and that homogeneity is white people.
You can't compete with that.
2013-06-22 09:00:08 PM
1 votes:

dragonchild: PillsHere: Better drivers?  Really?  Granted there are lots of crappy drivers here too, but my experience in Europe has been that the drivers are downright scary.

Better drivers ARE downright scary to crappy drivers.  I cut my teeth as a driver in Japan where the streets are narrow, sight lines are very limited and every second is an accident waiting to happen.  Now I get all kinds of stares of horror from drivers around here because I only need a couple inches of clearance to make it through traffic at speed.  Americans already drive goddamn Canyoneros but they need three feet of clearance because they have no farking clue where the edges of their own vehicle are.  Americans' ability to focus is shiat, their awareness is shiat, their ability to control a vehicle is shiat, their reaction times are shiat and their decision-making is shiat.  It's no wonder you'd find actual driving skills downright scary.

The ironic thing is that Americans have the gall to complain about traffic.  Traffic in America is ten times more painful than it needs to be because everyone drives effin' tanks without the ability to even safely control a go-cart.


Yup. I love that American city planners apparently think that roundabouts will frighten and confuse their citizenry.
2013-06-22 08:59:17 PM
1 votes:
Why yes, my DVR is better than yours. I love my European DVR here in Europe. I can skip commercials too! It's awesome.

/oh and Subby, one thing you forgot: my average penis size is also bigger than yours
//and my average female breast size too!
2013-06-22 08:42:45 PM
1 votes:
and Mexican-Americans love education...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtFb_xem6k8
2013-06-22 08:41:07 PM
1 votes:

PillsHere: Better drivers?  Really?  Granted there are lots of crappy drivers here too, but my experience in Europe has been that the drivers are downright scary.


Better drivers ARE downright scary to crappy drivers.  I cut my teeth as a driver in Japan where the streets are narrow, sight lines are very limited and every second is an accident waiting to happen.  Now I get all kinds of stares of horror from drivers around here because I only need a couple inches of clearance to make it through traffic at speed.  Americans already drive goddamn Canyoneros but they need three feet of clearance because they have no farking clue where the edges of their own vehicle are.  Americans' ability to focus is shiat, their awareness is shiat, their ability to control a vehicle is shiat, their reaction times are shiat and their decision-making is shiat.  It's no wonder you'd find actual driving skills downright scary.

The ironic thing is that Americans have the gall to complain about traffic.  Traffic in America is ten times more painful than it needs to be because everyone drives effin' tanks without the ability to even safely control a go-cart.
2013-06-22 08:16:19 PM
1 votes:
Are you talking about the Europe that's currently experiencing the super high unemployment and riots everywhere, and where the racially homogeneous cultures are having paroxysms of nationalism over dark people moving in and not being Christian enough?

I'm glad they can record TV in between having their cars burned in race riots.
2013-06-22 08:12:46 PM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I often wonder what the US would be like had it remained more.... European...


It's called "the northeast".
2013-06-22 08:01:17 PM
1 votes:
British aren't so much Europeans as they are ....well, British.  And boy howdy are they chunky muffins these days.
2013-06-22 08:00:55 PM
1 votes:
Better drivers?  Subby has obviously NEVER taken a taxi from the airport to downtown Paris!
 
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