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(Paste Magazine)   The thirty worst album covers of the 80s and 90s, all on one page. No word on why they think the best Van Halen album had the worst artwork   (pastemagazine.com) divider line 98
    More: Fail, Eddie Van Halen, album covers, Kenny Loggins, Monkees  
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9072 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Jun 2013 at 2:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-21 09:35:04 PM  
Pros and Cons of Hitchiking is on the list? What a load of shiat.
 
2013-06-21 09:59:36 PM  
Came here to say that.  Radio Kaos is to me an underappreciated slab of brilliance, but Pros and Cons of Hitchiking holds it's own.
 
2013-06-21 10:17:30 PM  
You have an interesting concept of best, subs.
 
2013-06-21 10:43:41 PM  
cdn.pastemagazine.com

Hello, welcome to the 80's.

Can I interest you in a neon triangle?
 
2013-06-21 11:36:29 PM  
www.coverbrowser.com
 
2013-06-21 11:52:21 PM  
DAMMIT, GARZA
 
2013-06-21 11:53:31 PM  
Re: The VH album cover

Subby, you're trying way too hard to troll our asses.

1/10
 
2013-06-22 12:03:44 AM  
The cover of Queen's The Miracle is stunning. Their mouse-over quote: "We wouldn't wish a performance from this four-faced beast on our worst enemy". Really? Queen is only one of the best bands in history.
 
2013-06-22 12:25:49 AM  
What is an album cover?
 
2013-06-22 12:33:13 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 12:34:16 AM  
img.fark.net

Jesus Christ. The front is nothing. You have to see the back cover of Van Halen 5150 to really experience a full assault on the senses. Yes, that's Eddie Van Halen in the black Duran Duran coat and big fruity hair-do.
 
2013-06-22 12:44:14 AM  

ksdanj: What is an album cover?


Suck it Trebek
 
2013-06-22 02:24:02 AM  
Oh look, it's this story again.
 
2013-06-22 02:30:26 AM  

MurphyMurphy: ksdanj: What is an album cover?

Suck it Trebek


Your mother is a whore
 
2013-06-22 02:33:37 AM  
Holy crap, somebody actually remembers the abortion that was 'Astra.'
 
2013-06-22 02:36:38 AM  
Hey  guys, lets put our 13 year old singer on the cover...necked!

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 02:40:26 AM  

MurphyMurphy: Hello, welcome to the 80's.

Can I interest you in a neon triangle?


Oh yeah, this was the one that stood out to me as How to '80s 101. Neon geometric shapes, squiggles, and paint spatters as far as the eye could see...that's all that decade was.
 
2013-06-22 02:43:30 AM  
Was glad to see John Bult. Still has to be the most uncomfortable looking album cover ever.
 
2013-06-22 02:49:04 AM  
Could be worse.. I saw a Cannibal Corpse album cover that really gave me a strong urge to hurl.  Might not be old enough, but I saw it in about 2002, so it probably is.
 
2013-06-22 02:51:39 AM  
img.fark.net

Cover looks fine to me.
 
2013-06-22 02:53:57 AM  
[knowhowIknowyoure.jpg]

then I saw the author's name. Guess somebody doesn't like seeing female rear ends that are better looking than hers.
 
2013-06-22 02:55:33 AM  

Snapper Carr: [img.fark.net image 500x500]

Cover looks fine to me.


Technically, that was the 70's. But: it may be the album that started hair metal.

Discuss.
 
2013-06-22 02:58:36 AM  
Van Halen sucks.  Really.

That being said... there is nothing wrong with that album cover.  Nor with the Cranberries' cover.
 
2013-06-22 02:59:28 AM  

Bob_Laublaw: Pros and Cons of Hitchiking is on the list? What a load of shiat.


I was listening to Hitchhiking one day and my wife walks into the room, listens for a minute, asks what I'm listening to and says "That's everything that's wrong with Pink Floyd" and walks out. I can't say she's wrong.
 
x23
2013-06-22 03:02:09 AM  
i own zero of those. what do i win?
 
2013-06-22 03:03:13 AM  

x23: i own zero of those. what do i win?


A large meat-lovers pizza from Bullwinkles.
 
2013-06-22 03:04:32 AM  
Van Halen - 5150 1986 We feel simultaniously awestruck and...uncomfortable about this album cover

Author sounds sexually repressed (and possibly illiterate about Greek mythology).
 
2013-06-22 03:12:27 AM  
img.fark.net

Not their best album (good though), certainly their best cover art.


MFAWG: Technically, that was the 70's. But: it may be the album that started hair metal.


Bowie, T Rex, Deep Purple, Sabbath, Motorhead, etc. were more the root of that style (hair metal) IMHO.

/puns intended
 
2013-06-22 03:14:39 AM  
That was amusing. Thanks, subs!
 
2013-06-22 03:19:52 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 03:22:32 AM  

MFAWG: Snapper Carr: [img.fark.net image 500x500]

Cover looks fine to me.

Technically, that was the 70's. But: it may be the album that started hair metal.

Discuss.


I wouldn't say it started it (as mentioned above, I think you have to look at early 70's glam rock for the real genesis of hair metal). Arguably though, it's the genesis of the LA metal scene which became the epicenter of the thing.
 
2013-06-22 03:23:00 AM  

HempHead: Hey  guys, lets put our 13 year old singer on the cover...necked!

[img.fark.net image 850x842]


She was 15, so that makes it okay.
 
2013-06-22 03:28:01 AM  

degenerate-afro: HempHead: Hey  guys, lets put our 13 year old singer on the cover...necked!

[img.fark.net image 850x842]

She was 15, so that makes it okay.


Scorpions put a nude 10 year old girl on one of their covers
 
2013-06-22 03:33:48 AM  

Snapper Carr: degenerate-afro: HempHead: Hey  guys, lets put our 13 year old singer on the cover...necked!

[img.fark.net image 850x842]

She was 15, so that makes it okay.

Scorpions put a nude 10 year old girl on one of their covers


Zeppelin really stepped over the line.

img.fark.net

This was the FILTH that was the 70s.
/ not me
 
2013-06-22 03:47:59 AM  

Snapper Carr: degenerate-afro: HempHead: Hey  guys, lets put our 13 year old singer on the cover...necked!

[img.fark.net image 850x842]

She was 15, so that makes it okay.

Scorpions put a nude 10 year old girl on one of their covers


Won't somebody think of the children?!?
 
2013-06-22 05:05:14 AM  
I'd suggest Poison's "Look What the Cat Dragged In".  First time I saw that cover, I thought those were some of the ugliest women I'd ever seen.
 
2013-06-22 05:06:43 AM  

Ryker's Peninsula: I'd suggest Poison's "Look What the Cat Dragged In".  First time I saw that cover, I thought those were some of the ugliest women I'd ever seen.


Wasn't just you.
 
2013-06-22 05:09:34 AM  
Ahem

img.fark.net

img.fark.net

img.fark.net

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 05:16:02 AM  

kiwimoogle84: That was amusing. Thanks, subs!


You spelled retarded wrong
 
2013-06-22 05:32:06 AM  
How can you include something intentionally bad like the Circle Jerks and not include this:

img.fark.net

... of course, the back cover is awesome:

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 05:43:22 AM  
"Circle Jerks - Oddities, Abnormalities, and Curiosities 1995 When you name your band 'Circle Jerks', you know you're already setting the bar pretty low."

Writer knows nothing about Keith Morris and said Jerks.  That Ice-T album Power was great too.
What about Look What the Cat Dragged in?  That cover was terrible.
 
2013-06-22 05:51:37 AM  
from TFA,

apparently author knows nothing about underground metal
 
2013-06-22 06:54:35 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 07:23:41 AM  
Haha Yes!  The Pat Boone Metal Album, probably the worst musical decision since M.C. Hammer went gangsta rap.
 
2013-06-22 07:32:50 AM  
List of worst album covers you can see in every worst album covers list
 
2013-06-22 07:41:04 AM  
a lot of those were pretty awesome actually.  i've never heard of laaz rockit before, but if i saw that cover in a store i would definitely buy the album.  the scorpions lovedrive cover is great.
 
2013-06-22 07:49:24 AM  

Mentat: Haha Yes!  The Pat Boone Metal Album, probably the worst musical decision since M.C. Hammer went gangsta rap.


Wikipedia says it was an album of covers of metal songs done in "jazz/big band style", so maybe it was meant as a joke? (Like Richard Cheese.)
 
2013-06-22 07:49:38 AM  
Was surprised to see only a couple of the "Standard Worst Album Covers List" entries.  Where was Devastatin' Dave, Ken, Joyce, Tino and all those self-released gospel albums?  (Maybe they weren't in the '80s and '90s.....)
 
2013-06-22 07:52:33 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Mentat: Haha Yes!  The Pat Boone Metal Album, probably the worst musical decision since M.C. Hammer went gangsta rap.

Wikipedia says it was an album of covers of metal songs done in "jazz/big band style", so maybe it was meant as a joke? (Like Richard Cheese.)


Yes, he openly admitted it was a joke (after whatever Christian TV network he works for threatened to take his show away).  "Heavy metal" in Pat's world means "lots of brass".  I actually have that thing (record club freebie).  It's kind of a hoot the first couple times.
 
2013-06-22 07:52:45 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Mentat: Haha Yes!  The Pat Boone Metal Album, probably the worst musical decision since M.C. Hammer went gangsta rap.

Wikipedia says it was an album of covers of metal songs done in "jazz/big band style", so maybe it was meant as a joke? (Like Richard Cheese.)


I haven't head the songs.. but that sounds like an excellet way to lose fans and not pick up new ones.
 
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