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(Quartz)   Starbucks is raising prices but will still misspell your name on your cup   (qz.com) divider line 135
    More: Amusing, Starbucks, J.M. Smucker, Maxwell House, coffee, quartz  
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5053 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2013 at 11:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-22 12:32:01 AM
Suck it haters.  Starbucks and Peets are the best mass-produced coffee there is.
 
2013-06-22 12:35:51 AM
Starbucks starSUCKS.  Tim Horton's rules.
 
2013-06-22 12:36:17 AM

lewismarktwo: They are just preparing for the upcoming coffee apocalypse what with the south american coffee blight that is ongoing as I type.


Won't somebody think of Juan Valdez?
 
2013-06-22 12:37:01 AM
Double-doubles, motherfarker. The extra large is chock full of sugar and caffeine and comes in at a toonie.

/a toonie, I say!
//my god but it's awful
 
2013-06-22 12:38:14 AM
Last month I went to Starbucks for the first time in my life.  I'm almost 40.  Had a 4 year old gift card that, to their credit, was still valid.  The medium roast was decent, even better with the Carolans I had with me on the patio.  The egg white/spinach wrap wasn't bad either.  I know...a most cool story.
 
2013-06-22 12:46:14 AM

ZeroCorpse: Starbucks starSUCKS.  Tim Horton's rules.


You sound Canadian.
 
2013-06-22 12:49:34 AM
There are so many better drugs out there than caffeine
 
2013-06-22 12:50:02 AM

Voiceofreason01: If all you want is a regular cup of black coffee Starbucks is excellent and has pretty reasonable prices


Honestly, if you just want a tall cup of black coffee, I'd rather stop at Dunkin Donuts or McDonald's.  Their regular coffee is just as good and half the price.

/Having a cup of McDonald's coffee while typing this
//The whiskey I put in makes it even better
 
2013-06-22 12:54:22 AM
It's so much cheaper to buy premium beans from Stumptown or Blue Bottle and just make your own damn coffee.
 
2013-06-22 12:55:07 AM
Fade2black:

Worked for Starbucks for 3 years when I was 19...That being said, I was too young to enjoy coffee

What? I've been downing at least a quart a day since I was 12. It was my consolation prize for having been made to go to Boy Scout camp and THEN a United Methodist Church camp. (And they'd object when I ran away from home on my own. Harrumph.) I got so sick of Manidokan after the first week -- my third week away in a month -- that I demanded my parents wire me a bus ticket, threatening to kill myself or run away and join the SLA or something if they left me out there one more weekend. It wasn't the camping, it was the other kids:  this might strike y'all Farkers as counterintuitive, but it takes a special kind of person to put up with my oddities in person.

So when I came home the old man tried to make it up to me by offering me a cup of coffee. The first cup gave me an instantaneous "Hell yeah!" so I drank five more. You can keep your heroin, I'm stuck on this stuff.

And Starbucks is okay sometimes, but it's strictly from hunger. I can make better at home from Wal-Mart store brand beans. (Wal-Mart selling Fair Trade coffee? Should I believe that?)

Somewhere around here I have a 5+ year old $10 Starbucks gift card. This month's sewer bill is hard to locate too. Maybe there's a connection? What could it MEAN??
 
2013-06-22 12:59:02 AM

blacksharpiemarker: I work within the coffee industry, and it's no secret that Starbucks serves some of the lowest grade bean blends available. I can't believe there's so many people that actually appreciate what they serve as "premium" coffee.

Enjoy your price increase, idiots.

/You wouldn't know a proper coffee from wet water out of a shoe...


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 01:00:26 AM

LZeitgeist: Staffist: My Starbucks name is Gunther.  It's rarely misspelled.

Is your last name Centralperk?


OK, so I hadn't made that connection until now...  I'll leave it up to you then.  Give me a new one.
 
2013-06-22 01:00:52 AM
Starbucks is okay but Coffee Bean is where its at in SoCal.  I think it tastes a bit smoother.

Peets is a bit too strong for my taste.
 
2013-06-22 01:01:57 AM

TommyymmoT: In all fairness, the name "TommyymmoT", doesn't fare well when spoken.


I thought it was just pronounced "Rick".
 
2013-06-22 01:07:50 AM
During the war the Germans were outta Joe.  They weren't getting shipments from South America, the only significant producer at the time.  They made stuff they called 'ersatz,' typically chicory and methadrine.  Of course, some people gotta have it.  You could if you could fork over, say, about $10K/lb, and some people did.  Personally, I would just surrender, probably if my enemies were capable of embargoing my 'fiene.
 
2013-06-22 01:08:28 AM

blacksharpiemarker: I work within the coffee industry, and it's no secret that Starbucks serves some of the lowest grade bean blends available. I can't believe there's so many people that actually appreciate what they serve as "premium" coffee.

Enjoy your price increase, idiots.

/You wouldn't know a proper coffee from wet water out of a shoe...


I only drink dry water, thankyouverymuch.

But yes, people who drink starbucks are so very often complete morons.
 
2013-06-22 01:10:26 AM

Cerebral Infarktion: There are so many better drugs out there than caffeine


Yup, and 99% of them are illegal, since they don't promote workplace productivity.

Bottoms up, worker bees! Society commends your choice of beverage.
 
2013-06-22 01:11:32 AM
Lucky for me I enjoy the free stuff at work just fine.   And at home I just rock the  HEB San Antonio flavor in a reuse able K cup.

/not a coffee snob whatsoever
 
2013-06-22 01:15:16 AM

OgreMagi: ....

I like their mochas.  I can't stand their espresso.  But I'm spoiled.  At home I drink espresso made with 100% Jamaican Blue Mountain beans.  In fact, I just ordered three pounds today to replenish my dwindling supply.


Love the Jamaica Blue Mountain but too much $$$ for me for daily use.  Kenya AA has been good as well but for general use I rotate either a Moka Java, Sumatran, or Amalfi Coast.   For summer time, it is cold brew so I get nice ice-cold coffee goodness for my morning commute.

Starbucks coffee is pretty much bleh to me.  I find it too over-roasted. If I need to buy drip would much rather have Dunkin Donuts (ergo proving that I am not in fact a coffee snob, despite all appearances to the contrary).  For those who love spending a lot of cash for a heavily roasted product -- good on ya.

/yeah cold brew!
 
2013-06-22 01:18:57 AM
Starbucks is good for people who travel because you just about always know what you're going to get and they are farking everywhere. Hitting other coffee places is a crap shoot. Sometimes they are great and sometimes they are shiat.
 
2013-06-22 01:29:25 AM

brokenslide: OgreMagi: ....

I like their mochas.  I can't stand their espresso.  But I'm spoiled.  At home I drink espresso made with 100% Jamaican Blue Mountain beans.  In fact, I just ordered three pounds today to replenish my dwindling supply.

Love the Jamaica Blue Mountain but too much $$$ for me for daily use.  Kenya AA has been good as well but for general use I rotate either a Moka Java, Sumatran, or Amalfi Coast.   For summer time, it is cold brew so I get nice ice-cold coffee goodness for my morning commute.


The three pounds I ordered today cost $108 (shipping included).  Yes, that's pretty damn expensive when compared to the $10 crap I can get at the grocery store.  The difference is, I enjoy drinking the Jamaican.  It's my daily espresso and my major indulgence.

Starbucks coffee is pretty much bleh to me.  I find it too over-roasted. If I need to buy drip would much rather have Dunkin Donuts (ergo proving that I am not in fact a coffee snob, despite all appearances to the contrary).  For those who love spending a lot of cash for a heavily roasted product -- good on ya.

I agree, Starbucks is over roasted, a.k.a. burnt.  Which goes well with a mocha, but sucks for a regular cup of coffee.
 
2013-06-22 01:31:46 AM

Errk: Starbucks is good for people who travel because you just about always know what you're going to get and they are farking everywhere. Hitting other coffee places is a crap shoot. Sometimes they are great and sometimes they are shiat.


I have to agree.  The last time I went to a mom & pop coffee place, the mocha was so bad I ended up tossing it.  Also, they charged more than Starbucks.
 
2013-06-22 01:32:07 AM

Alleyoop: [www.killthehydra.com image 500x286]


Now I want to do that at the Starbletch that my wife's ex-husband's now current wife works at.  Not quite as confusing as Spaceballs but close enough
 
2013-06-22 01:38:27 AM

Staffist: LZeitgeist: Staffist: My Starbucks name is Gunther.  It's rarely misspelled.

Is your last name Centralperk?

OK, so I hadn't made that connection until now...  I'll leave it up to you then.  Give me a new one.


Swarley.
 
2013-06-22 01:42:06 AM
I don't know if this happens at other Starbucks but at my local one if it is late enough and they don't want to make huge amount of drip the barista will make you a pour-over style coffee that is very good. It does take a few minutes but it is excellent and the same price as the ordinary drip. The decaf has a nice, smooth taste with little bitterness.
 
2013-06-22 01:55:43 AM

Bumblefark: Cerebral Infarktion: There are so many better drugs out there than caffeine

Yup, and 99% of them are illegal, since they don't promote workplace productivity.

Bottoms up, worker bees! Society commends your choice of beverage.


At first I thought it was just a little humorous, but after I thought about it.

Tobacco and Caffeine used to be tolerated, if not expressly permitted because they do lend to productivity.  Just stimulants enough to enhance, but no real crashes except for those people who have issues handling their coffee(IE get all hyper and loopy like children )

And alcohol, while not a good thing at work, has been used for centuries as a reward to the slaves, still is for a lot of laborers and other worker bees.  Go home, drink a 6 pack, sleep, get up, go to work.
 
2013-06-22 02:09:20 AM
I hope they don't raise the price of handjobs
 
2013-06-22 02:09:45 AM

thornhill: It's so much cheaper to buy premium beans from Stumptown or Blue Bottle and just make your own damn coffee.


So much farking THIS.  Also, your coffee won't taste like over-toasted cardboard, like Starbucks' dripped sh*t.
 
2013-06-22 02:11:36 AM
I 3D print my own coffee.

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 02:12:03 AM

Mr. Chainsaw: Doesn't sound like venti black iced coffees are going up in price, so I'm good.


And if they did you'd quit going over ten cents?  Whatever.
 
2013-06-22 02:17:37 AM
there's 2 devices for 3D printing my stimulants in the morning.  Mr. Coffee, and Mr. Meth
it's a portable meth lab.  just add sudafed
 
2013-06-22 02:23:54 AM

Fade2black: texdent: I have never once stepped into a Starbucks. Course I also don't drink coffee.

Worked for Starbucks for 3 years when I was 19.  When people laugh, I point out this was in the late 90s early 2000s when it was me, 1 other cool guy, and 11 hot women.  Couldn't ask for a better work environment in retail.

That being said, I was too young to enjoy coffee, so I drank hot chocolate (drinks are free for employees during the day)...it wasn't until I left that I was old enough to go back and physically want coffee.  Ironic I'm sure.

People rag on Starbucks way too much.  It takes are real moron to screw up coffee...most assume starbucks tastes bad because it's DIFFERENT...what they don't understand is they brew in a way that brings out the true nature of coffee.  The best way to get your flavor hands down from any brew though, is to use a French Press.  Metal/gold filters are the best way to go.  I'm rambling, but yeah...suck it haters, just because it's brewed differently doesn't mean it's bad...it means you don't want to admit you pay $2 for a cup of coffee just like the rest of us.


are you a wizard?

how did you stay 19 for 3 years?
 
2013-06-22 02:27:17 AM

texdent: I have never once stepped into a Starbucks. Course I also don't drink coffee.


I drink coffee, and I also don't step into a Starbucks. For $4.00 a cup, it better have alcohol in it.
 
2013-06-22 02:28:24 AM

omeganuepsilon: Bumblefark: Cerebral Infarktion: There are so many better drugs out there than caffeine

Yup, and 99% of them are illegal, since they don't promote workplace productivity.

Bottoms up, worker bees! Society commends your choice of beverage.

At first I thought it was just a little humorous, but after I thought about it.

Tobacco and Caffeine used to be tolerated, if not expressly permitted because they do lend to productivity.  Just stimulants enough to enhance, but no real crashes except for those people who have issues handling their coffee(IE get all hyper and loopy like children )

And alcohol, while not a good thing at work, has been used for centuries as a reward to the slaves, still is for a lot of laborers and other worker bees.  Go home, drink a 6 pack, sleep, get up, go to work.


Yup. In fact, plantation owners used to deliberately liquor-up their slaves to keep them from roaming off in the middle of the night, usually during holidays and other periods of prolonged downtime.

Just wait until the modern day establishment figures out that marijuana has the same wanderlust-killing properties as alcohol, with none of the hangover effects that might impair work performance the next day. I dare say, we might begin to see pot legalized...

/welp, off to grab another round of slave juice...
 
2013-06-22 02:33:11 AM

Bumblefark: omeganuepsilon: Bumblefark: Cerebral Infarktion: There are so many better drugs out there than caffeine

Yup, and 99% of them are illegal, since they don't promote workplace productivity.

Bottoms up, worker bees! Society commends your choice of beverage.

At first I thought it was just a little humorous, but after I thought about it.

Tobacco and Caffeine used to be tolerated, if not expressly permitted because they do lend to productivity.  Just stimulants enough to enhance, but no real crashes except for those people who have issues handling their coffee(IE get all hyper and loopy like children )

And alcohol, while not a good thing at work, has been used for centuries as a reward to the slaves, still is for a lot of laborers and other worker bees.  Go home, drink a 6 pack, sleep, get up, go to work.

Yup. In fact, plantation owners used to deliberately liquor-up their slaves to keep them from roaming off in the middle of the night, usually during holidays and other periods of prolonged downtime.

Just wait until the modern day establishment figures out that marijuana has the same wanderlust-killing properties as alcohol, with none of the hangover effects that might impair work performance the next day. I dare say, we might begin to see pot legalized...

/welp, off to grab another round of slave juice...


wow it's almost like they CARED for the slaves.  and who said slavery wasn't fun
 
2013-06-22 02:34:46 AM

SirEattonHogg: Starbucks is okay but Coffee Bean is where its at in SoCal.  I think it tastes a bit smoother.

Peets is a bit too strong for my taste.


They're all using the same beans and the same roasting techniques. What causes Starbucks coffee to be on the... "okay" side is that they buy coffee in HUGE bulk, roast it, then throw it in a warehouse for use over the next year or so. You can usually get the best cup of "Fancy" coffee from smaller shops that buy the coffee in smaller amounts for immediate usage. It's a smart move on the part of Starbucks, as they can sit pretty for the year when coffee bean prices go up, and just go through their safety stock while smaller shops have to crank up prices almost immediately.

Heck, I might say that the can of Folgers you buy at the grocery store is likely fresher than any Starbucks coffee.

There used to be a place where I grew up, called "Java n' Jazz", that was essentially an outlet for the Newhall Coffee Roasting Co. That was damn fine coffee.

Coffee Klatch in San Dimas is my fave now, although it's a bit of a hipster joint. It's A Grind, though a chain, also has good coffee.

As for the Canuckistanians... Tim Horton's is a friggin' donut shop, with coffee that doesn't taste any better than your average donut shop's drip coffee.
 
2013-06-22 02:35:36 AM

LincolnLogolas: SirEattonHogg: Starbucks is okay but Coffee Bean is where its at in SoCal.  I think it tastes a bit smoother.

Peets is a bit too strong for my taste.

They're all using the same beans and the same roasting techniques. What causes Starbucks coffee to be on the... "okay" side is that they buy coffee in HUGE bulk, roast it, then throw it in a warehouse for use over the next year or so. You can usually get the best cup of "Fancy" coffee from smaller shops that buy the coffee in smaller amounts for immediate usage. It's a smart move on the part of Starbucks, as they can sit pretty for the year when coffee bean prices go up, and just go through their safety stock while smaller shops have to crank up prices almost immediately.

Heck, I might say that the can of Folgers you buy at the grocery store is likely fresher than any Starbucks coffee.

There used to be a place where I grew up, called "Java n' Jazz", that was essentially an outlet for the Newhall Coffee Roasting Co. That was damn fine coffee.

Coffee Klatch in San Dimas is my fave now, although it's a bit of a hipster joint. It's A Grind, though a chain, also has good coffee.

As for the Canuckistanians... Tim Horton's is a friggin' donut shop, with coffee that doesn't taste any better than your average donut shop's drip coffee.


it tastes cold.  like it was made in Canada.  unlike Mexican Foldgers
 
2013-06-22 02:35:58 AM
I got tired of spelling my name out for them so I tell them my name is 'X'.

Once I got my drink back, and the guy had spelled it 'Ecks'.
 
2013-06-22 02:38:59 AM

Bumblefark: Yup. In fact, plantation owners used to deliberately liquor-up their slaves to keep them from roaming off in the middle of the night, usually during holidays and other periods of prolonged downtime.


Goes back at least to Egypt
/Firefly, lol
 
2013-06-22 02:39:20 AM

Bumblefark: omeganuepsilon: Bumblefark: Cerebral Infarktion: There are so many better drugs out there than caffeine

Yup, and 99% of them are illegal, since they don't promote workplace productivity.

Bottoms up, worker bees! Society commends your choice of beverage.

At first I thought it was just a little humorous, but after I thought about it.

Tobacco and Caffeine used to be tolerated, if not expressly permitted because they do lend to productivity.  Just stimulants enough to enhance, but no real crashes except for those people who have issues handling their coffee(IE get all hyper and loopy like children )

And alcohol, while not a good thing at work, has been used for centuries as a reward to the slaves, still is for a lot of laborers and other worker bees.  Go home, drink a 6 pack, sleep, get up, go to work.

Yup. In fact, plantation owners used to deliberately liquor-up their slaves to keep them from roaming off in the middle of the night, usually during holidays and other periods of prolonged downtime.

Just wait until the modern day establishment figures out that marijuana has the same wanderlust-killing properties as alcohol, with none of the hangover effects that might impair work performance the next day. I dare say, we might begin to see pot legalized...

/welp, off to grab another round of slave juice...


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-22 02:40:56 AM
Circle K has awesome coffee and it's a buck if you bring your own refill cup up to 24 ounces. I walk in, lay a buck on the counter, get my coffee with cream and sugar, and walk out.

30 seconds in and out. I don't even turn my car off.

/small town life
 
2013-06-22 02:46:08 AM
You suckers buying Starbucks when you can get great coffee from a local gas station. Pro tip: save a nickel by pouring from the day-old pot.
 
2013-06-22 02:47:22 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: IDGAF how they spell my name, so long as I get whipped cream on my coffee/sugar drink.


We tend to take turns at my office doing Starbucks runs, so when it's my turn I come up with a new alias and order with a different bad accent. It's great to hear my coworkers say "Who the fark is Gottfried??!?"
 
2013-06-22 02:48:24 AM

Justin Bieber's Acne Medication: You suckers buying Starbucks when you can get great coffee from a local gas station. Pro tip: save a nickel by pouring from the day-old pot.


why not just buy Straterra for your ADHD your not using the coffee recREATIONALLY ARE YOU.  CAUSE THATS ONE OF THE 8 DEADLY SINS
 
2013-06-22 02:49:52 AM

Justin Bieber's Acne Medication: You suckers buying Starbucks when you can get great coffee from a local gas station. Pro tip: save a nickel by pouring from the day-old pot.


what's wrong with Keurig cups?  i don't think you can pay for hot coffee with food stamps
 
2013-06-22 03:10:21 AM
When I'm on the road, Starbucks is a life saver.  When I'm home, I make my own.  Still, my local Starbucks is probably the best one I've ever been to.  The Clover is a big plus.
 
2013-06-22 03:20:38 AM

LincolnLogolas: Bumblefark: omeganuepsilon: Bumblefark: Cerebral Infarktion: There are so many better drugs out there than caffeine

Yup, and 99% of them are illegal, since they don't promote workplace productivity.

Bottoms up, worker bees! Society commends your choice of beverage.

At first I thought it was just a little humorous, but after I thought about it.

Tobacco and Caffeine used to be tolerated, if not expressly permitted because they do lend to productivity.  Just stimulants enough to enhance, but no real crashes except for those people who have issues handling their coffee(IE get all hyper and loopy like children )

And alcohol, while not a good thing at work, has been used for centuries as a reward to the slaves, still is for a lot of laborers and other worker bees.  Go home, drink a 6 pack, sleep, get up, go to work.

Yup. In fact, plantation owners used to deliberately liquor-up their slaves to keep them from roaming off in the middle of the night, usually during holidays and other periods of prolonged downtime.

Just wait until the modern day establishment figures out that marijuana has the same wanderlust-killing properties as alcohol, with none of the hangover effects that might impair work performance the next day. I dare say, we might begin to see pot legalized...

/welp, off to grab another round of slave juice...

[img.fark.net image 500x375]


Meh. Can't be any worse than what I'm sipping on.

/mmm, tastes like servitude...
 
2013-06-22 03:21:02 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Circle K has awesome coffee and it's a buck if you bring your own refill cup up to 24 ounces. I walk in, lay a buck on the counter, get my coffee with cream and sugar, and walk out.

30 seconds in and out. I don't even turn my car off.

/small town life


Circle K is alright, if you don't mind the strange things afoot at the Circle K.
 
2013-06-22 03:34:29 AM
Phase 1: Make idiots believe Starbucks coffee is worth the ridiculous prices they charge
Phase 2: Raise those ridiculous prices 10 cents
Phase 3: Profit

/tea drinker, not a coffee drinker
//wonders why coffee is so popular
 
2013-06-22 03:36:05 AM

FatherChaos: Phase 1: Make idiots believe Starbucks coffee is worth the ridiculous prices they charge
Phase 2: Raise those ridiculous prices 10 cents
Phase 3: Profit

/tea drinker, not a coffee drinker
//wonders why coffee is so popular


Because tea is farking unpalatable no matter what you add (or don't) to it.

/drinks neither, so no particular dog in this fight.
 
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