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(SFGate)   US Navy: Cap'n Crunch is not in fact, a Navy Captain, because he hasn't: (a) run his ship aground; (b) sexually assaulted a junior sailor; or (c) did (a) during (b)   (blog.sfgate.com) divider line 60
    More: Followup, Commander Crunch, U.S. Navy, .com  
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5796 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2013 at 9:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-21 09:34:31 AM
When he does get convicted of impersonating a Naval officer, any chance he might have to pull Trix while in prison to get by?
 
2013-06-21 09:57:56 AM
Is this one of those stick tab A in slot B things?
 
2013-06-21 09:59:09 AM
You mean King Vitamin can't legally have me drawn-and-quartered after thirty years of imprisonment?

Yippie, free at last!  Hey older brother, you can let me out of this dungeon now!
 
2013-06-21 09:59:10 AM
just cause he wasn't CAUGHT doesn't mean he's still assaulting cadets
 
2013-06-21 10:00:36 AM
or d) he doesn't have enough stripes.

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 10:00:44 AM

cman: When he does get convicted of impersonating a Naval officer, any chance he might have to pull Trix while in prison to get by?


no he has to pull Super Mario cereal while in prison

www.gamesniped.com
 
2013-06-21 10:01:14 AM
What's this? Next thing, you'll tell me Dr. Pepper doesn't really have a post-graduate degree.
 
2013-06-21 10:01:17 AM
Buggery in the Hi-C
 
2013-06-21 10:02:19 AM

rjd2: or d) he doesn't have enough stripes.

[img.fark.net image 850x508]


and i bet your telling me Commander Keen wasn't a real Commander

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 10:03:08 AM

Gonz: What's this? Next thing, you'll tell me Dr. Pepper doesn't really have a post-graduate degree.


but suprisingly Mr. Pibb does.  he's just not showoffy about it
 
2013-06-21 10:05:36 AM
 Calling him 'Captain' is just describing his position, not rank.  A commander can still be in charge of, or captain, a ship.
 
2013-06-21 10:06:08 AM
What do you call a Commander that's the CO of a ship? Captain.
 
2013-06-21 10:08:32 AM
if he had 4 stripes i don't know what the fark i would do.  i'd look at that box and SAY WAHT THE fark IS WRONG WITH THE WROLD
AND PROMPTLY KILL MYSELF
 
2013-06-21 10:09:52 AM
(Leave Capt'n Crunch Alone photo)

Next thing you know. Someone will be telling me Duke Nukem wasn't a real Duke.
 
2013-06-21 10:11:30 AM
He is not a Captain  or a Commander he is in fact a "Cap'n". IN the islands of Crunch in the Sea of Milk.

mmmm Sea of Milk.

cinemasamurai.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-21 10:11:34 AM

Harry Freakstorm: (Leave Capt'n Crunch Alone photo)

Next thing you know. Someone will be telling me Duke Nukem wasn't a real Duke.


Duke was his first name, not his title.
 
2013-06-21 10:12:05 AM

Harry Freakstorm: (Leave Capt'n Crunch Alone photo)

Next thing you know. Someone will be telling me Duke Nukem wasn't a real Duke.


Or Count Chocula was really a commoner.
 
2013-06-21 10:12:06 AM
He doesn't claim to be a "captain". He claims to be a "cap'n". I was in the Navy and I am pretty sure that we didn't have a rank like that. Now, according to my Bolex watch, I need to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2013-06-21 10:12:11 AM
But my mom told me we were royalty because we are related to Count Chocula....
 
2013-06-21 10:13:04 AM
if my drunk friend was running a boat i'd call him cap'n

i guess the solution is alcohol
 
2013-06-21 10:13:35 AM

Gonz: What's this? Next thing, you'll tell me Dr. Pepper doesn't really have a post-graduate degree.


Nope, hes got an MD, Dr Pepper was named after the creator's father in law who was a medical doctor.
 
2013-06-21 10:14:23 AM

SpdrJay: But my mom told me we were royalty because we are related to Count Chocula....


Archduke Chocula.jpg
 
2013-06-21 10:15:38 AM

Oldiron_79: Gonz: What's this? Next thing, you'll tell me Dr. Pepper doesn't really have a post-graduate degree.

Nope, hes got an MD, Dr Pepper was named after the creator's father in law who was a medical doctor.


if he was a medical doctor why couldn't he prescribe me Cocaine, a Schedule II narcotic.

u know for my EYES.  biatch
 
2013-06-21 10:16:06 AM

Igor Jakovsky: Harry Freakstorm: (Leave Capt'n Crunch Alone photo)

Next thing you know. Someone will be telling me Duke Nukem wasn't a real Duke.

Or Count Chocula was really a commoner.


Captain Queeg was actually a commander.
 
2013-06-21 10:19:30 AM

Gonz: What's this? Next thing, you'll tell me Dr. Pepper doesn't really have a post-graduate degree.



His first name could be Doctor.
 
2013-06-21 10:19:40 AM
...but what about Cap'n Cook?

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 10:19:51 AM

Ricardo Klement: Igor Jakovsky: Harry Freakstorm: (Leave Capt'n Crunch Alone photo)

Next thing you know. Someone will be telling me Duke Nukem wasn't a real Duke.

Or Count Chocula was really a commoner.

Captain Queeg was actually a commander.


Was he obsessed over who stole the crunchberries?
 
2013-06-21 10:20:52 AM

Wulfman: Gonz: What's this? Next thing, you'll tell me Dr. Pepper doesn't really have a post-graduate degree.


His first name could be Doctor.


I'll have to remember that if I ever have a kid. I once took care of a kid whose mother gave him the first name "Sir".
 
2013-06-21 10:21:13 AM
Captain Crunch is a cereal killer.
 
2013-06-21 10:21:22 AM
jetcityorange.com
2600 hertz
 
2013-06-21 10:21:23 AM
I thought that any commander given a ship to command was afforded the title "Captain".  Custom of the service and what not...
 
2013-06-21 10:22:10 AM
Ok, I'll weigh in. Doesn't the Cap'n's hat suggest old British Navel attire, and thus applying the US navy stripe standards doesn't apply?

www.militaryheritage.com
 
2013-06-21 10:22:35 AM

LonestarJ: I thought that any commander given a ship to command was afforded the title "Captain".  Custom of the service and what not...


we're not talking Frankenstein puffs here.  it's Captain Crunch meaning you die
 
2013-06-21 10:24:22 AM

Don't Lag Me Bro: Ok, I'll weigh in. Doesn't the Cap'n's hat suggest old British Navel attire, and thus applying the US navy stripe standards doesn't apply?

[www.militaryheritage.com image 561x339]


US Continental Navy uniforms:

www.srcalifornia.com
 
2013-06-21 10:29:15 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: LonestarJ: I thought that any commander given a ship to command was afforded the title "Captain".  Custom of the service and what not...

we're not talking Frankenstein puffs here.  it's Captain Crunch meaning you die


img.fark.net

"Moris"?You die!
 
2013-06-21 10:29:57 AM

lousyskater: What do you call a Commander that's the CO of a ship? Captain.


Or even a Lieutenant.
 
2013-06-21 10:31:21 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: [jetcityorange.com image 350x160]
2600 hertz


---- Came for this reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-06-21 10:32:29 AM
www.nndb.com
 
2013-06-21 10:33:32 AM

Don't Lag Me Bro: British Navel attire,


oh man.
 
2013-06-21 10:41:12 AM

Don't Lag Me Bro: Ok, I'll weigh way in. Doesn't the Cap'n's hat suggest old British Navel attire, and thus applying the US navy stripe standards doesn't apply?


FTFY

/pet peave
 
2013-06-21 10:45:47 AM
And we're not prepared
What happens to us if we don't get there
 
2013-06-21 11:13:57 AM

lousyskater: What do you call a Commander that's the CO of a ship? Captain.

so, only former navy will truly "get" this story, but, a few years ago the US Navy christened a ship after the rank of E-7, or "Chief".  Yup.

USS Chief, namesake: "Chief Petty Officers".
anyways, whenever the ship's commanding officer - the "captain", even if he is not an O-6 rank (captain), boards or leaves the ship, the watch announces, "[name of ship], departing!". So the poor bastard, annapolis graduate, probably no less than an O-4, gets temporarily demoted to an enlisted man whenever he leaves or boards his ship. "Chief, arriving", "chief, departing".
 
2013-06-21 11:31:58 AM
But after all these years sailing the high seas defending us from the Soggies, dont you think he deserves a promotion?

If i were Admiral Greenert, id send some stripes over Quaker and issue a press release about Crunchs battlefield promotion, good lighthearted PR for the Navy that hasnt been doing much lately since were fighting desert wars.
 
2013-06-21 11:49:20 AM

Don't Lag Me Bro: Ok, I'll weigh in. Doesn't the Cap'n's hat suggest old British Navel attire


I always saw it as more of a Knights of Columbus or Knights Templar hat:

img.fark.net

Just worn sideways. Like a bro.
 
2013-06-21 12:37:11 PM
Who ever said he was a Captain of a "US" ship?
 
2013-06-21 01:08:12 PM
U.S. Navy Captain's dress uniform pre-Civil War. After hostilities broke out I'm pretty sure Cap'n Crunch fought for the Union.

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 01:08:59 PM

Antimatter: Harry Freakstorm: (Leave Capt'n Crunch Alone photo)

Next thing you know. Someone will be telling me Duke Nukem wasn't a real Duke.

Duke was his first name, not his title.


Next you'll be telling me Sarah is not a princess.
 
msP
2013-06-21 01:09:38 PM
It's not news, it's fark.
 
2013-06-21 01:10:06 PM

rickythepenguin: lousyskater: What do you call a Commander that's the CO of a ship? Captain.
so, only former navy will truly "get" this story, but, a few years ago the US Navy christened a ship after the rank of E-7, or "Chief".  Yup. USS Chief, namesake: "Chief Petty Officers".
anyways, whenever the ship's commanding officer - the "captain", even if he is not an O-6 rank (captain), boards or leaves the ship, the watch announces, "[name of ship], departing!". So the poor bastard, annapolis graduate, probably no less than an O-4, gets temporarily demoted to an enlisted man whenever he leaves or boards his ship. "Chief, arriving", "chief, departing".


They are the backbone of the Navy. It's an honor to be called "Chief".
 
2013-06-21 01:28:24 PM

wambu: They are the backbone of the Navy. It's an honor to be called "Chief".


the good ones, at least.  i to this day use motivational / organization lessons i learned from OTMC Paul B and OTMC Rickie B.

csb:  so a long time ago, we had this 24-hr watch where, after like, 8pm, we were authroized to sleep but if needed, they'd wake us up.  well, i nodded off at say, 6PM.  slow day at the office.  i admit i was wrong.  i was needed, the petty officer came in, i heard them coming and tried to rouse myself but i guess it was obvious.  i went out, fixed the problem, and the TACWO calls me over and she's like, "thanks, but....it was reported to me you were sleeping during unauthorized hours, i have to report you".  i'm like, "understood".

the following morning wehn the division rolls in, my LPO -- a farking asshole who eventually make khaki -- goes full jackfark on me.  "PETTY OFFICER [RICKY] UNDER THE UCMJ, IF THIS HAPPENED DURING WARTIME, I'D BE AUTHORZED TO SHOOT YOU ON SIGHT.  DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

so we roll into Chief Rickie's office, adn steve the farkwipe, he starts in all farking hardcore about lack of military bearing and so on, and Chief cuts him off.  Chief goes, "[ricky], you farked up.  i'll take care of this.  first of all, i won't give you any of that mickey mouse, little league bullshiat about 'if this happened during wartime we'd shoot you" and i cut him off.  "thanks Chief, petty officer Steve was kind enough to share that information with me" (doing my level best, wide eyed babe in the woods face).

chief laughed, steve glared at me, chief kicked him out.  tells me, "don't fark up again, ok?  she owes us some favors.  DON'T fark UP AGAIN.  now get out of here!"

best chief i ever had.
 
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