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(News.com.au)   "Hi, do you have the number for the internet?" "No, the internet is now broken" (Not safe for work images)   (news.com.au) divider line 46
    More: Dumbass, consumer affairs, Office of Fair Trading  
•       •       •

18462 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2013 at 1:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-06-21 12:03:40 AM  
a refund for your dead cat's unused nappies

WTF is a cat nappie?


"The caller informed Fair Trading they were working at a brothel and having problems with a customer demanding a refund. The customer had paid for a service but been unable to claim the service and although the caller advised the customer she was more than happy to provide the service at another time, the customer was insisting on a full refund. The Fair Trading officer informed the caller that as she had been prepared to fulfil the contract she was not obliged to give a refund."

Couldn't get it up?
 
2013-06-21 12:22:48 AM  

fusillade762: a refund for your dead cat's unused nappies

WTF is a cat nappie?


"The caller informed Fair Trading they were working at a brothel and having problems with a customer demanding a refund. The customer had paid for a service but been unable to claim the service and although the caller advised the customer she was more than happy to provide the service at another time, the customer was insisting on a full refund. The Fair Trading officer informed the caller that as she had been prepared to fulfil the contract she was not obliged to give a refund."

Couldn't get it up?


Nappie is another term for diaper. There are diapers made for both cats & dogs and are primarily used for incontinent pets.
 
2013-06-21 12:30:25 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: fusillade762: a refund for your dead cat's unused nappies

WTF is a cat nappie?

Nappie is another term for diaper. There are diapers made for both cats & dogs and are primarily used for incontinent pets.


I understand the concept but I couldn't picture it being real. Wouldn't want to have to change those - and just what do you do with the tail?

To teh googles!
 
2013-06-21 01:18:23 AM  
Australia is weird. Over here in the states, we just get people calling 911 (emergency services) to complain about not getting pickles on their burger.
 
2013-06-21 01:18:34 AM  

Momzilla59: I understand the concept but I couldn't picture it being real. Wouldn't want to have to change those - and just what do you do with the tail?

To teh googles!


And that's when she discovered the wonderful world of Babyfur art.

Let this be a lesson to you all, kids. Don't GIS with safesearch off.
 
2013-06-21 01:20:52 AM  
this dude took a bite of my vegemite sammich!
 
2013-06-21 01:24:44 AM  
"Do you have the number for the internet?"

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 01:26:01 AM  
And today I learned that there are legal brothels in Australia.
 
2013-06-21 01:28:25 AM  
img.fark.net

The lady at the shoppe gave me your number. She told me to call you. Why can't I find the internet?
 
2013-06-21 01:30:09 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: And today I learned that there are legal brothels in Australia.


I think they had a vote for it years back
 
2013-06-21 01:33:25 AM  
Time to unclog the tubes.
 
2013-06-21 01:33:26 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: AverageAmericanGuy: And today I learned that there are legal brothels in Australia.

I think they had a vote for it years back


And boy did they vote! With their penises.
 
2013-06-21 01:34:18 AM  
Pet.......diapers?
 
2013-06-21 01:42:05 AM  
12. "Can I speak to the Strata Medication Unit?"

I don't get this one at all.  Even Google and Wikipedia don't help.  Anyone?
 
2013-06-21 01:45:06 AM  

RobertBruce: Pet.......diapers?


It's worse than you think.

http://chickendiapers.com/

And...

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 01:45:18 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: Nappie is another term for diaper. There are diapers made for both cats & dogs and are primarily used for incontinent pets.


I thought Australia was a continent.  How can they have incontinent pets?

My cat saw that complaint and ran and hid.
 
2013-06-21 01:45:56 AM  
The number for the Internet here in the states is 1-921-681-2540.
 
2013-06-21 01:49:11 AM  

Momzilla59: Bathia_Mapes: fusillade762: a refund for your dead cat's unused nappies

WTF is a cat nappie?

Nappie is another term for diaper. There are diapers made for both cats & dogs and are primarily used for incontinent pets.

I understand the concept but I couldn't picture it being real. Wouldn't want to have to change those - and just what do you do with the tail?

To teh googles!


Well, they also have pads for when your pet is in heat, maybe that's what they were being used for.
 
2013-06-21 01:52:41 AM  
As far as "Weird Helpdesk/911/Tech Support/Consumer Protection Requests" lists go, this was the most boring shirt I've ever read, stubby should get banned for submitting it, and some admin should get flogged for greenlighting it. And that NSFW image was just as boring.
 
2013-06-21 01:59:22 AM  

Mikey1969: And that NSFW image was just as boring.


I was promised NSW images.
 
2013-06-21 02:01:27 AM  

Momzilla59: Bathia_Mapes: fusillade762: a refund for your dead cat's unused nappies

WTF is a cat nappie?

Nappie is another term for diaper. There are diapers made for both cats & dogs and are primarily used for incontinent pets.

I understand the concept but I couldn't picture it being real. Wouldn't want to have to change those - and just what do you do with the tail?

To teh googles!


They have a hole to put the cat or dog's tail through. They look pretty close to a regulal disposible diaper with a few tweaks to adapt them for use with animals.

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 02:04:48 AM  

gfid: I thought Australia was a continent. How can they have incontinent pets?


Heh!
 
2013-06-21 02:05:22 AM  
7. "Do I need a council permit to build a tomb in my backyard?" (NSW)

That's an interesting question. However, if tombs in backyards became more common, then maybe the next item would happen more frequently.

8. A tenant phoned to inquire about her right to break the lease on her rented house, which she believed was haunted. The tenant's landlord had agreed to allow her to break the lease early if a planned exorcism failed to remedy the haunted house. The inquiries officer advised the tenant to ensure she obtained this agreement in writing. (Vic)
 
2013-06-21 02:09:11 AM  

LordOfThePings: Mikey1969: And that NSFW image was just as boring.

I was promised NSW images.


Probably didn't even get those. I'm sure they're just stock images, I bet none of them are from New South Wales. At least not on purpose.
 
2013-06-21 03:05:25 AM  

gfid: Bathia_Mapes: Nappie is another term for diaper. There are diapers made for both cats & dogs and are primarily used for incontinent pets.

I thought Australia was a continent.  How can they have incontinent pets?

My cat saw that complaint and ran and hid.


He has a wife you know...
 
2013-06-21 03:49:43 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: AverageAmericanGuy: And today I learned that there are legal brothels in Australia.

I think they had a vote for it years back


It depends on the state, but here in NS(F)W they have been legal for years. They are actually the preferred way to regulate the industry. It is still illegal to be a streetwalker, but prostitutes can work legally in a brothel, for an escort service and even in their own home.

The suburb of Sydney I live in has one of the highest concentrations of brothels in the country, and you'd never know it. As a feminist, I'm very cool with this.
 
2013-06-21 04:01:19 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: They have a hole to put the cat or dog's tail through.


I thought that hole was... nevermind.
 
2013-06-21 04:24:19 AM  
A consumer called to inquire about his refund rights regarding a packet of tobacco he purchased prior to deciding to quit smoking. He had attempted to return the tobacco to the retailer, who would not accept the return or provide a refund. (Vic)

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 04:33:41 AM  
FTFA:  "10.The customer had paid for a service but been unable to claim the service and although the caller advised the customer she was more than happy to provide the service at another time"
img.fark.net


/hot
 
2013-06-21 04:38:02 AM  
I work at a shop selling certain types of widgets.

Customer on the phone (English is clearly a second language): Do you sell WidgetX?
Me: No, they're about $300 and we can order one for you, but you must pre-pay for it due to the size and non-returnable.
C: Hmmm, do you know anyone else in town who sells them?
M: No, but you might try the internet.
C: Ah, what's their number?
M: No, THE INTERNET. Like the world wide web. Online.
C: It's OK, just tell me their number.
M: They don't have a number, just look it up online with a computer.
C: No, don't worry, you can just tell me their number.
M: Go to the library and ask for the internet.

END CSB.
 
2013-06-21 04:44:31 AM  
fc00.deviantart.net
 
2013-06-21 06:21:09 AM  

skinink: "Do you have the number for the internet?"

[img.fark.net image 640x316]


You need it if you have one of THESE!
 
2013-06-21 07:02:46 AM  

Walter Paisley: A tenant phoned to inquire about her right to break the lease on her rented house, which she believed was haunted. The tenant's landlord had agreed to allow her to break the lease early if a planned exorcism failed to remedy the haunted house. The inquiries officer advised the tenant to ensure she obtained this agreement in writing. (Vic)


As weird as that question is, the landlord seems to be handling the situation very nicely.
 
2013-06-21 07:06:02 AM  

evilsofa: 12. "Can I speak to the Strata Medication Unit?"

I don't get this one at all.  Even Google and Wikipedia don't help.  Anyone?


I think they mean Strata Mediation Unit (dun-dun).

Strata titled units are like condominiums.
 
2013-06-21 07:24:16 AM  

hardinparamedic: Don't GIS with safesearch off.


If you're in the US, Google helpfully took away the option to search with safe search off if you don't use special trigger terms in your search.
 
2013-06-21 07:30:43 AM  

Arkanaut: Time to unclog the tubes.


that's what the guy at the brothel said...
 
2013-06-21 07:31:53 AM  

InternetSecurityGuard: The number for the Internet here in the states is 1-921-681-2540.


i thought it was 867-5309
 
2013-06-21 08:14:43 AM  

kitsuneymg: hardinparamedic: Don't GIS with safesearch off.

If you're in the US, Google helpfully took away the option to search with safe search off if you don't use special trigger terms in your search.


wat?
 
2013-06-21 08:22:43 AM  

kitsuneymg: hardinparamedic: Don't GIS with safesearch off.

If you're in the US, Google helpfully took away the option to search with safe search off if you don't use special trigger terms in your search.


Really? I'm in the US... When I do an image search, near the top there's a pull-down menu that's labeled "SafeSearch", which offers the option to filter (or not) explicit results... It also offers a link to this page with info on turning it on or off...

I've got it turned off, and for instance, if I do a simple search for "Bettie Page", I get naked pics on page 1... So, no special "trigger terms" needed that I can see...
 
2013-06-21 08:40:08 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: InternetSecurityGuard: The number for the Internet here in the states is 1-921-681-2540.

i thought it was 867-5309


What are you doing with my girlfriend's number?!
 
2013-06-21 08:41:55 AM  

Archie Goodwin: evilsofa: 12. "Can I speak to the Strata Medication Unit?"

I don't get this one at all.  Even Google and Wikipedia don't help.  Anyone?

I think they mean Strata Mediation Unit (dun-dun).

Strata titled units are like condominiums.


Thank you, I came to ask the same thing.

I've learned something today, I can go home with my head high.
 
2013-06-21 08:44:26 AM  

Guadior42: HindiDiscoMonster: InternetSecurityGuard: The number for the Internet here in the states is 1-921-681-2540.

i thought it was 867-5309

What are you doing with my girlfriend's number?!


look there's no area code.  a lot of people have the last same 7 digits

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-21 10:10:28 AM  
The internet does have a help desk...
 
2013-06-21 10:14:08 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Guadior42: HindiDiscoMonster: InternetSecurityGuard: The number for the Internet here in the states is 1-921-681-2540.

i thought it was 867-5309

What are you doing with my girlfriend's number?!

look there's no area code.  a lot of people have the last same 7 digits

[img.fark.net image 480x360]


I wonder who at the phone company they pissed off to get assigned that number.
 
2013-06-21 11:10:00 AM  
Hen's night out? is that like the chicken lady from Kids in the Hall visiting the strip club?

NSFW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YwnAdT9I_o

"But I have more money for miner Joooeee!!"
 
2013-06-21 01:41:19 PM  
Someone asked me yesterday about whether or not we were hosting a client email mailbox:
"Where is Patrick's Yahoo! email hosted?"

/I dunno, California?
 
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