If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KCTV5 Kansas City)   Beware the vampire catfish   (kctv5.com) divider line 50
    More: Scary, catfish  
•       •       •

8649 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2013 at 9:11 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-06-20 09:15:30 PM
The take away from this is, if it smells like fish, don't kiss it.
 
2013-06-20 09:16:21 PM
That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!
 
2013-06-20 09:20:49 PM

FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!


What do you expect from a Aiden?
 
2013-06-20 09:24:43 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!

What do you expect from a Aiden?


I'd have to ask his brothers Jaiden and Braden, and his sisters Madison and Breeanha, to make sure.
 
2013-06-20 09:28:24 PM
"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing." - Jack Handey
 
2013-06-20 09:31:14 PM
Can't be a real vampire catfish.  It wasn't sparkly.
 
2013-06-20 09:32:57 PM
Bullhead Lugosi?
 
2013-06-20 09:34:48 PM
those fish can be real pricks.  when i clean fish, sometimes my hands get cut and bloody
 
2013-06-20 09:38:11 PM

Repo Man: "Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing." - Jack Handey


Snort.

Every time I hear or read a Jack Handey quote, I laugh, mostly because I know an insanely beautiful girl who loves to rattle off Handey quotes. I think she has one for every occasion.
 
2013-06-20 09:38:32 PM

FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!


He'll be on Fark any day now.
 
2013-06-20 09:40:20 PM

FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!


The whole family sounds a bit weird. The mother was trying to kiss the catfish, when it, like, jumped and then, like, the barb stuck in an artery and it was bulging out and they got lost using a GPS to get to the hospital.
 
2013-06-20 09:41:10 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?


No, he's dead.
 
2013-06-20 09:41:40 PM
I honestly thought "vampire catfish" was going to be a euphemism for Anna Paquin's vagina.
 
2013-06-20 09:46:58 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?


From the Carpathian mountains?
 
2013-06-20 09:46:59 PM
I don't always scream.  But when I do, I scream like a girl
 
2013-06-20 09:47:28 PM
What about the venom?  It'd be kind of uncomfortable to soak your neck in hot water for 30 minutes.
The puncture is NOT the worst part about getting finned.
 
2013-06-20 09:48:59 PM

ciberido: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?

No, he's dead.


oi50.tinypic.com
 
2013-06-20 09:52:14 PM
Catfish barbs
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 09:53:30 PM
Pretty smart law if you ask me.  If those farking loser ass anarchists who always ruin legitimate gatherings in Seattle should have the balls to show their faces if they're going to inflict their convictions on the rest the world.  farking Oregon, the only thing that state produces are hippies, anarchists and full service gas stations.
 
2013-06-20 09:57:14 PM

Cepheus Crater: Pretty smart law if you ask me.  If those farking loser ass anarchists who always ruin legitimate gatherings in Seattle should have the balls to show their faces if they're going to inflict their convictions on the rest the world.  farking Oregon, the only thing that state produces are hippies, anarchists and full service gas stations.


Wow, that kid had a long helicopter ride from Seattle to an Arkansas hospital.
You sound angry.
 
2013-06-20 10:08:13 PM
Darwin really needs to work on his aim.
 
2013-06-20 10:08:26 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ciberido: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?

No, he's dead.

[oi50.tinypic.com image 500x302]


www.ladyofthecake.com
 
2013-06-20 10:09:57 PM

Cepheus Crater: Pretty smart law if you ask me.  If those farking loser ass anarchists who always ruin legitimate gatherings in Seattle should have the balls to show their faces if they're going to inflict their convictions on the rest the world.  farking Oregon, the only thing that state produces are hippies, anarchists and full service gas stations.


timber, paper products, farming (wheat, cattle), mining (coal), computer equipment, electronics
 
2013-06-20 10:11:58 PM
chupapesca
 
2013-06-20 10:13:49 PM
Catfish barbs hurt like hell.
 
2013-06-20 10:14:02 PM
Starring Gary Busey on SyFy.
It writes itself.
 
2013-06-20 10:17:58 PM

ciberido: Can't be a real vampire catfish.  It wasn't sparkly.


They're a little sparkly on Catfish: The TV Show.
 
2013-06-20 10:19:41 PM

optikeye: MaudlinMutantMollusk: ciberido: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?

No, he's dead.

[oi50.tinypic.com image 500x302]

[www.ladyofthecake.com image 272x204]


Undead undead undead
 
2013-06-20 10:21:03 PM
Really, the first thing you do when you catch a catfish is rip the barb out then fillet it.

No one in their right mind holds one up to their face.
 
2013-06-20 10:22:36 PM

optikeye: MaudlinMutantMollusk: ciberido: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?

No, he's dead.

[oi50.tinypic.com image 500x302]


Undead, undead, undead...
 
2013-06-20 10:23:09 PM

ciberido: Can't be a real vampire catfish.  It wasn't sparkly.swimming up his dick.


FTFY.
 
2013-06-20 10:24:24 PM

ahchoo: optikeye: MaudlinMutantMollusk: ciberido: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?

No, he's dead.

[oi50.tinypic.com image 500x302]

[www.ladyofthecake.com image 272x204]

Undead undead undead


Motherfarker!
 
2013-06-20 10:24:50 PM
"When we were on the stretcher they were talking about my nickname being Catfish,"

We nicknamed my little brother catfish.  All mouth, no brain.

/that reminds me, it's the Okie Noodling tourney this weekend
 
2013-06-20 10:27:00 PM
Time for some chlorine in that gene pool.
 
2013-06-20 10:28:18 PM
Aiden said. "When it got stuck, I screamed like a girl ..."

Probably shouldn't give your son a girl's name if you don't want him screaming like one.
 
2013-06-20 10:31:33 PM

chitownmike: ahchoo: optikeye: MaudlinMutantMollusk: ciberido: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?

No, he's dead.

[oi50.tinypic.com image 500x302]

[www.ladyofthecake.com image 272x204]

Undead undead undead

Motherfarker!



:)
 
2013-06-20 10:36:11 PM

UNC_Samurai: I honestly thought "vampire catfish" was going to be a euphemism for Anna Paquin's vagina.


Admit it: Anna Paquin stabbing a 13-year-old boy in the neck with her vagina WOULD make for a good Fark story.
 
2013-06-20 10:38:13 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bullhead Lugosi?


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 10:48:03 PM
This sounds like the same kind of kid that would try and lip a Bluefish.
 
2013-06-20 10:48:58 PM
doesn't even count if you ain't noodling. I mean, noodlin'.
 
2013-06-20 10:59:20 PM
I wonder if Dracula ever has ticks. - Jack Handey
 
2013-06-20 11:15:25 PM

whatshisname: FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!

The whole family sounds a bit weird. The mother was trying to kiss the catfish, when it, like, jumped and then, like, the barb stuck in an artery and it was bulging out and they got lost using a GPS to get to the hospital.


Arkansas, got it now?
 
2013-06-21 12:06:14 AM

FrancoFile: drjekel_mrhyde: FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!

What do you expect from a Aiden?

I'd have to ask his brothers Jaiden and Braden, and his sisters Madison and Breeanha, to make sure.


don't forget little Dakota.
 
2013-06-21 12:10:33 AM

crab66: Catfish barbs hurt like hell.


This, several times.
 
2013-06-21 01:10:50 AM
I had an l029 it was a nice fish little in the expensive side
 
2013-06-21 01:21:57 AM

FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!


He probably learned grammar from watching the local TV news.

/ A-holes are always mixing their tenses.
 
2013-06-21 01:32:45 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: FrancoFile: That kid has a promising future.  "I screamed like a girl as loud as I can"

Sexist and poor grammar!

What do you expect from a Aiden?

 
2013-06-21 02:34:51 AM

theflatline: Really, the first thing you do when you catch a catfish is rip the barb out then fillet it.

No one in their right mind holds one up to their face.


Mom was trying to kiss the boy while holding the catfish.
 
2013-06-21 04:02:43 AM

LordJiro: ciberido: Can't be a real vampire catfish.  It wasn't sparkly.swimming up his dick.

FTFY.


See, my normal reaction to links or posts like yours is to cringe at the thought but then keep scrolling. However, after several beers I figured I'd tempt fate and click it.

I now hate you.

The vast majority of Farkers are men, or so it seems. Why, WHY would you do that to us, knowing we're too dumb to ignore the link? WHY????
 
2013-06-21 10:34:36 AM

dickfreckle: LordJiro: ciberido: Can't be a real vampire catfish.  It wasn't sparkly.swimming up his dick.

FTFY.

See, my normal reaction to links or posts like yours is to cringe at the thought but then keep scrolling. However, after several beers I figured I'd tempt fate and click it.

I now hate you.

The vast majority of Farkers are men, or so it seems. Why, WHY would you do that to us, knowing we're too dumb to ignore the link? WHY????


Don't worry.  Freckles are like garlic to vampire catfish.  You're safe.
 
Displayed 50 of 50 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report