Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Chron)   Scientists discover that plants are still alive after they are cut. Vegetarians will never eat again   ( blog.chron.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, circadian rhythms, Current Biology, sugars, caterpillars, insects  
•       •       •

2696 clicks; posted to Geek » on 20 Jun 2013 at 5:04 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-06-20 05:06:21 PM  
Well yeah, you can tell by the screaming.
 
2013-06-20 05:07:42 PM  
Vegans definitely won't

i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.
 
2013-06-20 05:09:39 PM  
Good.
 
2013-06-20 05:12:46 PM  

ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.


Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.
 
2013-06-20 05:14:05 PM  
What do you mean "discover"?

Anybody that's put fresh cut flowers in a vase with water knows this already
 
2013-06-20 05:14:30 PM  

Mr. Eugenides: Well yeah, you can tell by the screaming.

 
2013-06-20 05:14:38 PM  
People with houseplants grown from cuttings go, um, er, like yeah I kind of um, knew that already.
 
2013-06-20 05:17:06 PM  
I remember a short story from a long time back where this guy invented some sort of headset that could pick up plants "speaking" to each other.

It was all cool until his neighbor mowed the lawn.
 
2013-06-20 05:19:54 PM  

exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.


Honey is a grey area for vegans who aren't sure why they're vegans.  If it's a health thing, or a bid to stay off processed foods, most informed vegans will eat local honey.  It's very good for you.

Plants start losing their nutrient value as soon as the roots are cut off and it stops transpiring.  That's a good reason to eat food that comes from as close to your table as possible.  Don't cut the roots off that garden lettuce until right before you eat!
 
2013-06-20 05:22:57 PM  

ManateeGag: Vegans definitely won't

i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.


Agrees:
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-20 05:24:52 PM  

markie_farkie: I remember a short story from a long time back where this guy invented some sort of headset that could pick up plants "speaking" to each other.

It was all cool until his neighbor mowed the lawn.


I think that was actually a story by Roald Dahl, and was an episode of Tales of the Unexpected I believe.  My ex-wife called the series Tales of the Mildy Ironic.

He had the headphones on and could hear the flowers screaming as the woman next door clipped them.  But the cool part was when he got an ax and chopped the giant tree in the yard, and it bellowed like a wounded elephant.  The scientist kinda lost his mind after that.  Pretty good episode.
 
2013-06-20 05:31:01 PM  
Um... duh? Usually the dead veggies go in the compost.
 
2013-06-20 05:31:07 PM  
I'm not a vegetarian because I like animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
 
2013-06-20 05:33:39 PM  
Listen up brothers and sisters,
come hear my desperate tale.
I speak of our friends of nature,
trapped in the dirt like a jail.

Vegetables live in oppression,
served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness,
I say we take up the fight.
 
2013-06-20 05:41:43 PM  

brap: People with houseplants grown from cuttings go, um, er, like yeah I kind of um, knew that already.


Came to say this.  We have a  Philodendron or something to that effect that the wife is trying to make into three by taking cuttings and letting them live wound-first in water.  Our Christmas cactus started as a cutting from my grandmothers....

However what's said in TFA is pretty cool.
 
2013-06-20 05:42:36 PM  

ManateeGag: Vegans definitely won't

i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.


Milk was always the thing that bugged me.

Do they know that the milk will come out of the Cow anyway even if they are't milked?
Do they know that Cows will line up at the milking machine without any poking or prodding from the farmer?

It's obviously not a process that hurts them.

Also dairy cows are rarely used for beef now, so they should be all for the dairy industry.  Of course there are still a few farms that do both, but it's not as common as it was back in even the early 80s.
 
2013-06-20 05:45:58 PM  

NkThrasher: brap: People with houseplants grown from cuttings go, um, er, like yeah I kind of um, knew that already.

Came to say this.  We have a  Philodendron or something to that effect that the wife is trying to make into three by taking cuttings and letting them live wound-first in water.  Our Christmas cactus started as a cutting from my grandmothers....

However what's said in TFA is pretty cool.


The oregano in that baggie behind the behind the wine glasses on the top shelf also started the same way.

*Cough*
 
2013-06-20 05:47:39 PM  

PainInTheASP: The oregano in that baggie behind the behind the wine glasses on the top shelf also started the same way.

*Cough*


You might want to do something for that cough man.  Some sort of medical something something.
 
2013-06-20 05:51:57 PM  

ManateeGag: Vegans definitely won't

i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.


Turns out it does, as they take the honey and feed the bees high fructose corn syrup, which weakens their immune systems.
 
2013-06-20 05:52:38 PM  

NkThrasher: PainInTheASP: The oregano in that baggie behind the behind the wine glasses on the top shelf also started the same way.

*Cough*

You might want to do something for that cough man.  Some sort of medical something something.


It's okay, I've got a...whatchacallit....license?...yeah, license.  For my stutter.

/You gonna eat that hot dog?
 
2013-06-20 05:56:50 PM  

10up: exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.

Honey is a grey area for vegans who aren't sure why they're vegans.  If it's a health thing, or a bid to stay off processed foods, most informed vegans will eat local honey.  It's very good for you.


I think it depends where you live. I live in the Connecticut Suburbs. Yes, there are people who sell local honey, but instead of Clover, Heather or Chestnut varieties, I suspect our local stuff should be called Roundup® , Raid®  or Ortho®. It's a shame. I rather like the idea of keeping bees.
 
2013-06-20 05:58:03 PM  

exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.


Why so? It's not like bees were killed to make the honey, and it's a substance that bees make for themselves. Would that make them carnivores?

In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.
 
2013-06-20 06:01:42 PM  
If the justification is that vegitarians would eat plants after they're dead but not while they're alive, they really should also be eating meat.
 
2013-06-20 06:05:40 PM  
Uh huh, phytochemicals are important, which is why you should also be eating a variety of colors in your fruits and veggies.
 
2013-06-20 06:06:26 PM  
"Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me,
"These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!
You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."
...let the rabbits wear glasses
 
2013-06-20 06:08:15 PM  

TV's Vinnie: exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.

Why so? It's not like bees were killed to make the honey, and it's a substance that bees make for themselves. Would that make them carnivores?

In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.


Veganism is a way of living which excludes all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, the animal kingdom, and includes a reverence for life. It applies to the practice of living on the products of the plant kingdom to the exclusion of flesh, fish, fowl, eggs, honey, animal milk and its derivatives, and encourages the use of alternatives for all commodities derived wholly or in part from animals

in short, you're the f*ucking retard for not even knowing what veganism is
 
2013-06-20 06:08:16 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Why so? It's not like bees were killed to make the honey, and it's a substance that bees make for themselves. Would that make them carnivores?

In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.


Disclaimer: I am not a vegan.  I have however had several vegan friends over the years.

Being "vegan" technically should mean you don't ingest things that come from animals in addition to the animals themseves.  So no milk (comes from a cow), no eggs (come from chickens), and no honey (come from bees) because in order to create those products for human consumption the animal is being exploited.  A vegan is voting with their food budget against activities that exploit animals.

Yes yes, the farmer that grows the lettuce might ride a horse around or use an ox to plow the field or fertilize with cow dung from the dairy farm next door.  I'm not going to have a full on "WHY VEGAN!?" debate.  But that's the basic gist of it.

/wife is ovo-lacto-pesca (Eggs, Milk, Fish okay, she's fine with honey but hasn't ever used a specific label for it, other animal based items are generally a no)
 
2013-06-20 06:08:43 PM  
Came for a Tool reference...leaving disappointed

/Let the rabbits wear glasses!
 
2013-06-20 06:14:30 PM  

TV's Vinnie: In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.


I was at a coffee shop and the prick in front of me asked the cashier if the banana bread had real bananas in it. Cashier said yes, so the vegan said he couldn't order it because he "doesn't eat foods that cast shadows in their natural state." Had no farking problem ordering his smarmy coffee.
 
2013-06-20 06:17:31 PM  

CrackpipeCardozo: I was at a coffee shop and the prick in front of me asked the cashier if the banana bread had real bananas in it. Cashier said yes, so the vegan said he couldn't order it because he "doesn't eat foods that cast shadows in their natural state." Had no farking problem ordering his smarmy coffee.


...I'll call Poe's law on that one...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=level%205%20vegan">ht tp://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=level%205%20vegan
 
2013-06-20 06:17:47 PM  
The living are the best things to eat, after all life feeds on life, and I am so very hungry.
 
2013-06-20 06:24:47 PM  
Postharvest circadian rhythms of crops out of phase with pests living on the crops.   Lettuce, spinach, carrots, and blueberries stored at room temperature for 3 days.  Bwah ha ha ha ha.  Geneticists tell the funniest jokes.
 
2013-06-20 06:27:35 PM  

KillAllHumans: TV's Vinnie: exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.

Why so? It's not like bees were killed to make the honey, and it's a substance that bees make for themselves. Would that make them carnivores?

In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.

Veganism is a way of living which excludes all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, the animal kingdom, and includes a reverence for life. It applies to the practice of living on the products of the plant kingdom to the exclusion of flesh, fish, fowl, eggs, honey, animal milk and its derivatives, and encourages the use of alternatives for all commodities derived wholly or in part from animals

in short, you're the f*ucking retard for not even knowing what veganism is


Excludes all forms of exploitation to the animal kingdom and a reverence for life? Except humans exploited picking your vegetables, right? Vegans are retarded.
 
2013-06-20 06:28:39 PM  

shill1253: Came for a Tool reference...leaving disappointed

/Let the rabbits wear glasses!


um, what?
 
2013-06-20 06:32:59 PM  

CrackpipeCardozo: TV's Vinnie: In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.

I was at a coffee shop and the prick in front of me asked the cashier if the banana bread had real bananas in it. Cashier said yes, so the vegan said he couldn't order it because he "doesn't eat foods that cast shadows in their natural state." Had no farking problem ordering his smarmy coffee.


Uh, wtf?
 
2013-06-20 06:34:56 PM  
img.fark.net

Oh Heil, guys. I heard dere vas a vegan tread zo I zott I'd schtop over.
 
2013-06-20 06:45:04 PM  

KillAllHumans: TV's Vinnie: exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.

Why so? It's not like bees were killed to make the honey, and it's a substance that bees make for themselves. Would that make them carnivores?

In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.

Veganism is a way of living which excludes all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, the animal kingdom, and includes a reverence for life. It applies to the practice of living on the products of the plant kingdom to the exclusion of flesh, fish, fowl, eggs, honey, animal milk and its derivatives, and encourages the use of alternatives for all commodities derived wholly or in part from animals

in short, you're the f*ucking retard for not even knowing what veganism is


No one is a retard but you, friend. No one cares about your crackpot ism of the week.
 
2013-06-20 06:55:54 PM  

SavageWombat: Listen up brothers and sisters,
come hear my desperate tale.
I speak of our friends of nature,
trapped in the dirt like a jail.

Vegetables live in oppression,
served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness,
I say we take up the fight.


Win.
 
2013-06-20 06:57:20 PM  
I already knew this...  Where the fark is my prize?
 
2013-06-20 07:06:03 PM  
Yeah , my brother met a vegan girl and went to the other side, we used to go out for beer and wings or hit the flea market for all the free meat sample goodness now he won't even drink a glass of milk or eat an egg, they always have to bring their own food to bbqs or holiday dinners or my mother has to make something special for them. I get being a vegetarian for health reasons and all but this vegan stuff sounds a bit out there.

/his girlfriend is very nice though so I let it slide:)
//we still go out for beers but not as often
 
2013-06-20 07:28:11 PM  
Just because something is "alive" doesn't necessarily mean it has a consciousness, nor the capacity to suffer.  Which is the usual rationale for vegetarians and vegans.
 
2013-06-20 07:33:39 PM  

weirdneighbour: this vegan stuff sounds a bit out there.


I can understand certain aspects of wanting to eat healthy, and avoid animal flesh, but I suspect a big percentage of vegans are just...

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 07:45:33 PM  
Also dairy cows are rarely used for beef now, so they should be all for the dairy industry.

That's not anywhere near true. Old dairy cows are hamburger.  Most male Holsteins are, too.  What do you think they do with them, retire them to an old cow pensioner's resort farm?
 
2013-06-20 08:28:58 PM  

Mr. Eugenides: Well yeah, you can tell by the screaming.

Listen up brothers and sisters, come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegetables live in oppresion, served on our tables each night
The killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, cole slaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just 'cause a radish can't scream


/All we are saying is give peas a chance
 
2013-06-20 08:44:55 PM  

TV's Vinnie: CrackpipeCardozo: TV's Vinnie: In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.

I was at a coffee shop and the prick in front of me asked the cashier if the banana bread had real bananas in it. Cashier said yes, so the vegan said he couldn't order it because he "doesn't eat foods that cast shadows in their natural state." Had no farking problem ordering his smarmy coffee.

Uh, wtf?


That would be a joke from the simpsons...

"i'm a fifth level vegan -- i don't eat anything that casts a shadow..."

It was likely said facetiously as a joke in that coffee shop. Humor is hard sometimes when you're that bitter.
 
2013-06-20 09:00:34 PM  

NkThrasher: Being "vegan" technically should mean you don't ingest things that come from animals in addition to the animals themseves. So no milk (comes from a cow), no eggs (come from chickens), and no honey (come from bees) because in order to create those products for human consumption the animal is being exploited. A vegan is voting with their food budget against activities that exploit animals.


How is honey exploiting the bee?  You build a nice big dry safe house for the bee to live in, she builds her house there, and the farmer takes some of the honey.  In some areas the farmers actually drive the bees around to where the flowers are.

TheDumbBlonde: Excludes all forms of exploitation to the animal kingdom and a reverence for life? Except humans exploited picking your vegetables, right? Vegans are retarded.


This
 
2013-06-20 09:16:12 PM  

TheDumbBlonde: KillAllHumans: TV's Vinnie: exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.

Why so? It's not like bees were killed to make the honey, and it's a substance that bees make for themselves. Would that make them carnivores?

In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.

Veganism is a way of living which excludes all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, the animal kingdom, and includes a reverence for life. It applies to the practice of living on the products of the plant kingdom to the exclusion of flesh, fish, fowl, eggs, honey, animal milk and its derivatives, and encourages the use of alternatives for all commodities derived wholly or in part from animals

in short, you're the f*ucking retard for not even knowing what veganism is

Excludes all forms of exploitation to the animal kingdom and a reverence for life? Except humans exploited picking your vegetables, right? Vegans are retarded.


Why stop there? Plants are exploited too!
 
2013-06-20 09:16:14 PM  

KillAllHumans: TV's Vinnie: exick: ManateeGag: i heard one say how he won't eat honey because it hurts the bees.

Honey is apparently a gray area for vegans, at least according to the ones I've spoken with.

Why so? It's not like bees were killed to make the honey, and it's a substance that bees make for themselves. Would that make them carnivores?

In short, vegans are f*ckin retarded.

Veganism is a way of living which excludes all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, the animal kingdom, and includes a reverence for life. It applies to the practice of living on the products of the plant kingdom to the exclusion of flesh, fish, fowl, eggs, honey, animal milk and its derivatives, and encourages the use of alternatives for all commodities derived wholly or in part from animals

in short, you're the f*ucking retard for not even knowing what veganism is


Maybe he didn't know what veganism was.  But you proved all vegans are retarded.  If you don't like the smell of burning flesh, get the fark off the planet.  EVERY damned culture from Babylon to now has consumed meat WHILE paying respect to the sacrifice that was made for that sustenance.

Your argument is as deficient in logic as your bloodstream is of iron and vitamin M.  (M for meat, vegtard.)

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 09:18:39 PM  
Dear vegans, explain the incisors, explain the canines, explain the lack of 4 chamber stomachs, explain the vitamin B deficiencies.  You would think the vegans think humans were invented in the last 6000 years or something .... oh what, that's the bible thumpers ... hmmm ... gaia.
 
2013-06-20 09:19:21 PM  
content9.flixster.com
VEGETABLE RIGHTS AND PEACE!
 
Displayed 50 of 83 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report