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(Gainesville Sun)   There's never really a "good" time to throw a knife at someone, but doing it while a police officer is speaking with your intended target is definitely not recommended   (gainesville.com) divider line 38
    More: Florida, police officers, woman arrested, kitchen knife, throwing knife, knife  
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3299 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2013 at 4:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-20 04:35:25 PM
Popped right into my head.
 
2013-06-20 04:36:32 PM
She's just hacking and whacking and smacking.
Hacking, whacking, and smacking
Hacking, whacking, and smacking
Hack, smack, chop that meat
 
2013-06-20 04:36:58 PM
"A search of Hoffner also revealed possession of approximately 2 grams of marijuana."


Well that explains everything.  Stoners are violent.  Almost all domestic violence cases can be traced back to someone smoking the devil weed.
 
2013-06-20 04:39:46 PM
You ever confront your angry ex? You ever confront your angry ex...on weed?
 
2013-06-20 04:40:14 PM
"Ultimately, Brown reached into the basket of her bike and retrieved an item from it"
and
"entered Brown's apartment at the same address and poured tea and milk on her property"

Sometimes Florida's criminally insane are criminally cute too.
 
2013-06-20 04:41:35 PM

GanjSmokr: "A search of Hoffner also revealed possession of approximately 2 grams of marijuana."


Well that explains everything.  Stoners are violent.  Almost all domestic violence cases can be traced back to someone smoking the devil weed.


I might be spit-balling here, but I'm pretty sure you meant drinking alcohol.

or perhaps...

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 04:43:13 PM
FTFA:

During his investigation, Officer James Alford observed tea and milk all over Brown's couch, laptop, pillows, mattress and bed sheets.The estimated damage to Brown's property is approximately $200.

Mighty fine furnishings there, Rhawnlie.
 
2013-06-20 04:44:41 PM
The crazy is strong with this 1
 
2013-06-20 04:50:29 PM

Calehedron: During his investigation, Officer James Alford observed tea and milk all over Brown's couch, laptop, pillows, mattress and bed sheets.The estimated damage to Brown's property is approximately $200.

Mighty fine furnishings there, Rhawnlie.


Not sure about your gold laced sheets, but us normal folk normally just wash our stuff when we spill shiat on them. The only thing that could be "damaged" is the laptop.
 
2013-06-20 04:50:53 PM

Famous Thamas: She's just hacking and whacking and smacking.
Hacking, whacking, and smacking
Hacking, whacking, and smacking
Hack, smack, chop that meat


Play you some Fallout?
 
2013-06-20 04:51:02 PM
he got weed!!!!
 
2013-06-20 04:51:27 PM
Put a balloon in your mouth.  Do you have a balloon?
 
2013-06-20 04:51:59 PM
All she had to do was wait. The dude got arrested anyway, why even bother with the knife. If he didn't get arrested, she could have stabbed him in the privacy of her home without police presence.

Calehedron: FTFA:

During his investigation, Officer James Alford observed tea and milk all over Brown's couch, laptop, pillows, mattress and bed sheets.The estimated damage to Brown's property is approximately $200.

Mighty fine furnishings there, Rhawnlie.


How much was the laptop worth to begin with? Is the $200 how much her crap was worth before or after the damage?
 
2013-06-20 04:53:37 PM
Well, unless you nail the cop too.
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 04:54:31 PM

Whiskey Dickens: "Ultimately, Brown reached into the basket of her bike and retrieved an item from it"
and
"entered Brown's apartment at the same address and poured tea and milk on her property"

Sometimes Florida's criminally insane are criminally cute too.


She is pretty enough, but the crazy is strong in this one. There are enough crazies out there who can show a semblance of normal long enough to trap you without taking a chance with one you know is loonie.
 
2013-06-20 04:54:54 PM
Having thrown a few knives myself (more accurately described as "bouncing knives off of things in an energetic display of pointless futility"), I believe there should be bonus points for actually sticking one in your intended victim.

/With enough yardage or panache, the Judge jets lets you walk for simply being awesome.
 
2013-06-20 04:55:13 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: Popped right into my head.


I was thinking Cheech and Chong's "Sister Mary Elephant."

"Young man...now give me that knife."  *ttthhhhwump!*
 
2013-06-20 04:57:33 PM

Diogenes: "Young man...now give me that knife."  *ttthhhhwump!*


IN stereo. With the headphones on.
The sound went from one side of your head to the other.
If you were stoned, it was like listening to it in 3-D.

And how often do people chuck knives at cops?
that's unusual.
 
2013-06-20 04:58:39 PM

Frank Bullitt it be: She got weed!!!!


FTFY, but that is a great bit.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR465HoCWFQ

Also, was there probable cause to search her place?
 
2013-06-20 05:01:00 PM

DreamSnipers: Whiskey Dickens: "Ultimately, Brown reached into the basket of her bike and retrieved an item from it"
and
"entered Brown's apartment at the same address and poured tea and milk on her property"

Sometimes Florida's criminally insane are criminally cute too.

She is pretty enough, but the crazy is strong in this one. There are enough crazies out there who can show a semblance of normal long enough to trap you without taking a chance with one you know is loonie.


Doesn't that sort of describe, like, 50% of the young female population in Florida?  I fel like I'd meet what seems to be a pretty and nice woman at the supermarket, and about a week later I find out she lives in a downtrodden trailer and she's attacked 15 people, including her ex boyfriend, with whom she still lives.  Am I not giving Florida a fair chance?
 
2013-06-20 05:01:11 PM

Diogenes: Agent Smiths Laugh: Popped right into my head.

I was thinking Cheech and Chong's "Sister Mary Elephant."

"Young man...now give me that knife."  *ttthhhhwump!*


Than

kyu.
 
2013-06-20 05:06:04 PM

vudukungfu: And how often do people chuck knives at cops?


Depends on how nicely they ask?
 
2013-06-20 05:16:53 PM

Nana's Vibrator: DreamSnipers: Whiskey Dickens: "Ultimately, Brown reached into the basket of her bike and retrieved an item from it"
and
"entered Brown's apartment at the same address and poured tea and milk on her property"

Sometimes Florida's criminally insane are criminally cute too.

She is pretty enough, but the crazy is strong in this one. There are enough crazies out there who can show a semblance of normal long enough to trap you without taking a chance with one you know is loonie.

Doesn't that sort of describe, like, 50% of the young female population in Florida?  I fel like I'd meet what seems to be a pretty and nice woman at the supermarket, and about a week later I find out she lives in a downtrodden trailer and she's attacked 15 people, including her ex boyfriend, with whom she still lives.  Am I not giving Florida a fair chance?


You are definitely not giving Florida a fair chance, you are being way over critical. Standards in Florida are much simpler than the rest of the nation.  "I fel like I'd meet what seems to be a pretty and nice woman at the supermarket" That is the only standard that applies. If she is pretty, go for it. Insanity is the norm there.
The problem is there is a tilt to the continent. Everyone with a screw loose slides into Florida.
 
2013-06-20 05:25:23 PM
Was it Danny Trejo in Desperado?
 
2013-06-20 05:27:15 PM
I once got a $50 fine for JAYWALKING. My friend and I ran across a street and two motorcycle cops stopped us. One said "OK, you know, if you're going to jaywalk DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF US". Obviously I didn't see them ..

But seriously, who else on Fark has EVER been fined for fricken JAY WALKING!

So yeah ... timing is everything.
 
2013-06-20 05:28:45 PM

Whiskey Dickens: "Ultimately, Brown reached into the basket of her bike and retrieved an item from it"
and
"entered Brown's apartment at the same address and poured tea and milk on her property"

Sometimes Florida's criminally insane are criminally cute too.


It sounds like they would fit in very well with these characters
img.fark.net

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 05:29:12 PM

MBooda: Well, unless you nail the cop too.
[img.fark.net image 400x300]


Ah, the wet dream of many internet tough guys on FARK.

Personally, I think if you try to kill a cop (who's not breaking the law and trying to kill you - just so my words can't be misconstrued here), you deserve the righteous ass-whipping you're about to get.

/as a side note, never try to kill a fire chief with an engine company watching you. The ass-whipping you receive will be....excessive.
 
2013-06-20 05:32:01 PM
Paring knife as a weapon... $200 damage... two grams of weed... wow, they really go all out, don't they?
 
2013-06-20 05:36:08 PM

hardinparamedic: MBooda: Well, unless you nail the cop too.
[img.fark.net image 400x300]

Ah, the wet dream of many internet tough guys on FARK.

Personally, I think if you try to kill a cop (who's not breaking the law and trying to kill you - just so my words can't be misconstrued here), you deserve the righteous ass-whipping you're about to get.

/as a side note, never try to kill a fire chief with an engine company watching you. The ass-whipping you receive will be....excessive.


I hasten to add that I've never appeared in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

/and i live near new orleans, so i know you don't have to try to kill a fire chief for an engine company to jump your ass.  just refusing to submit to the extortionists carrying buckets at intersections is often enough
 
2013-06-20 05:38:32 PM

MBooda: I hasten to add that I've never appeared in a Quentin Tarantino movie.


Come to Memphis. Minus the gratuitous foot fetish shots, it's pretty much a Quentin Tarantino movie.
 
2013-06-20 05:41:50 PM
There's never really a "good" time to throw a knife at someone...

I'm callin' "BULLSHIAT".
 
2013-06-20 05:56:26 PM

you_idiot: I once got a $50 fine for JAYWALKING. My friend and I ran across a street and two motorcycle cops stopped us. One said "OK, you know, if you're going to jaywalk DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF US". Obviously I didn't see them ..

But seriously, who else on Fark has EVER been fined for fricken JAY WALKING!

So yeah ... timing is everything.


In San Francisco?  No farking way!  Nobody has ever gotten a jay walking ticket in the entire history of San Francisco.
 
2013-06-20 05:59:10 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: There's never really a "good" time to throw a knife at someone...

I'm callin' "BULLSHIAT".


No, that sounds about right. There's people out there who need a knife thrown at them, but there's never really a good time to pull it off.
 
2013-06-20 06:18:03 PM

way south: Having thrown a few knives myself (more accurately described as "bouncing knives off of things in an energetic display of pointless futility"), I believe there should be bonus points for actually sticking one in your intended victim.

/With enough yardage or panache, the Judge jets lets you walk for simply being awesome.


Try getting some Hibben throwing knives, makes a huge difference.
 
2013-06-20 06:45:13 PM
img.fark.net
Wanted for questioning
 
2013-06-20 06:46:30 PM
I'm waiting for the woman to yell, "abuse!" and have NOW and other women's organizations step in to defend her.
 
2013-06-20 07:26:39 PM
img.fark.netShe was a knife tosser...
img.fark.net img.fark.netHe was a milk hurdler...
..and

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 08:14:56 PM
This reminds me of times playing Assassin Creed games where I throw a knife at a target and there are guards there who then proceed to chase me with the intent on raping my sweet ass.
 
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