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(SeattlePI)   'First, ve tease ze hair, second ve place a lovely part down ze middle . . . hush now, betsy, you ungrateful cow, stop moving about vhile I get ze blowdryer'   (seattlepi.com) divider line 27
    More: Strange, poodles  
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4592 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2013 at 2:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-20 02:16:31 PM
Author has never been on the farm.  "It started with a photo of a male cow named Texas Tornado who had a particularly fluffy coat. "Fluffy cow" photos are now making the rounds."


You mean a bull?
 
2013-06-20 02:17:36 PM
Now we need VELCRO COW!!!!!

i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-20 02:17:45 PM
Seconded.  Never heard of a male cow, since there is no such thing.
 
2013-06-20 02:19:32 PM

FrancoFile: Author has never been on the farm.  "It started with a photo of a male cow named Texas Tornado who had a particularly fluffy coat. "Fluffy cow" photos are now making the rounds."


You mean a bull?


true

/but are they tastier?
 
2013-06-20 02:20:15 PM

midigod: Seconded.  Never heard of a male cow, since there is no such thing.


Well, a drag cow. All fluffy anaw.
 
2013-06-20 02:21:28 PM
That's a fantastic troll job.  "Oh look, a fluffy, cute bull!  Let's pet....OH SHIAT RUN!"

/remember to serpentine
//they can't change direction as quick
 
2013-06-20 02:23:27 PM
As funny as that was, I thought the bottom of the page was funnier:

img.fark.net
Good for you, Ryan! Diff'rent strokes and all that.
 
2013-06-20 02:23:35 PM

FrancoFile: Author has never been on the farm.  "It started with a photo of a male cow named Texas Tornado who had a particularly fluffy coat. "Fluffy cow" photos are now making the rounds."


You mean a bull?


Yup.  I made it as far as male cow and decided the writer was too dumb for me to waste anymore time reading his or her tripe.
 
2013-06-20 02:26:19 PM

No Time To Explain: FrancoFile: Author has never been on the farm.  "It started with a photo of a male cow named Texas Tornado who had a particularly fluffy coat. "Fluffy cow" photos are now making the rounds."


You mean a bull?

true

/but are they tastier?


Their testicles are pretty tasty: sliced, battered, and fried.
 
2013-06-20 02:27:47 PM

Rickenbacker: /remember to serpentine
//they can't change direction as quick


Do you ever get tired of being wrong?

Just put more urine in your eyes to wash out the burn.
 
2013-06-20 02:29:09 PM
Male cow?

Bull, maybe.

Steer, probably.

Just proves you need no knowledge to be a journalist.
 
2013-06-20 02:30:57 PM

Rickenbacker: That's a fantastic troll job.  "Oh look, a fluffy, cute bull!  Let's pet....OH SHIAT RUN!"

/remember to serpentine
//they can't change direction as quick


Ok...embarrassing but try CSB time...

I was 15 or 16 and my mom and dad, my uncle, and my three cousins went to Butler's Orchard to get
some pumpkins and apples and such. Down the hill was a farm and on the farm was a bull. Being that
I was 15 or 16 and stupid, my cousin and I decide to go under the fence to pet the thing.

So we get there and he's docile enough. He let us pet him, no snorting or pawing or anything like that.
When we turn to leave though, I hear this noise behind me and a heavy weight claps down on both of
my shoulders.

Can you guess where this is going? The stupid bull decided he liked me and had put his front hooves
on my shoulders in an attempt to ... um ... get leverage.

I yelled and it startled him enough to where he backed away for a moment. Needless to say, we hauled
ass back up the hill as fast as we could after that.

So let this be a lesson, ladies. Strange bulls, like strange men, are not to be petted. They take it as a
sign that you want to fark 'em.
 
2013-06-20 02:32:45 PM

FrancoFile: Their testicles are pretty tasty: sliced, battered, and fried.


With a side of fava beans?
 
2013-06-20 02:45:02 PM

sharphead: FrancoFile: Their testicles are pretty tasty: sliced, battered, and fried.

With a side of fava beans?


Nah.
Maybe some hot sauce or onion gravy.

They're a good appetizer while you're waiting on your steak & potato.

/Cattlemen's Steakhouse on Agnew Street
 
2013-06-20 02:46:45 PM

digitalrain: Rickenbacker: That's a fantastic troll job.  "Oh look, a fluffy, cute bull!  Let's pet....OH SHIAT RUN!"

/remember to serpentine
//they can't change direction as quick

Ok...embarrassing but try CSB time...

I was 15 or 16 and my mom and dad, my uncle, and my three cousins went to Butler's Orchard to get
some pumpkins and apples and such. Down the hill was a farm and on the farm was a bull. Being that
I was 15 or 16 and stupid, my cousin and I decide to go under the fence to pet the thing.

So we get there and he's docile enough. He let us pet him, no snorting or pawing or anything like that.
When we turn to leave though, I hear this noise behind me and a heavy weight claps down on both of
my shoulders.

Can you guess where this is going? The stupid bull decided he liked me and had put his front hooves
on my shoulders in an attempt to ... um ... get leverage.

I yelled and it startled him enough to where he backed away for a moment. Needless to say, we hauled
ass back up the hill as fast as we could after that.

So let this be a lesson, ladies. Strange bulls, like strange men, are not to be petted. They take it as a
sign that you want to fark 'em.


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 02:58:04 PM
Do one of these next:

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 03:11:08 PM

midigod: Seconded.  Never heard of a male cow, since there is no such thing.


Oh yeah?
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-20 03:11:42 PM
As someone who helped to brand, tag, vac (shot & pour) two weeks ago, I am not getting a kick.

/any pity I had for baby cows died when I saw the eat & shiat, shiat & eat methodology of their lives
//and I saw the honest-to-god definition of explosive diarrhea; oh god, the image
 
2013-06-20 03:36:56 PM
img.fark.net

Approve ov dis headline
 
2013-06-20 03:51:14 PM

Anastacya: //and I saw the honest-to-god definition of explosive diarrhea; oh god, the image


So when you're loading cattle onto a truck,  you have to get behind and push.  Where do you suppose Captain Kangaroo's sidekick Mr. Greenjeans got his moniker?

Try that image on for size.
 
2013-06-20 04:00:39 PM

Mr. Right: Anastacya: //and I saw the honest-to-god definition of explosive diarrhea; oh god, the image

So when you're loading cattle onto a truck,  you have to get behind and push.  Where do you suppose Captain Kangaroo's sidekick Mr. Greenjeans got his moniker?

Try that image on for size.


I saw that, but it wasn't loading the cattle onto the truck when it happened.
 
2013-06-20 05:20:44 PM

FrancoFile: Author has never been on the farm.  "It started with a photo of a male cow named Texas Tornado who had a particularly fluffy coat. "Fluffy cow" photos are now making the rounds."


You mean a bull?


Wow. I opened this thread JUST for that reason. A "male cow?" Really? Seriously? *sighs*

I think this sort of does reenforce the idea that people absolutely have no connection to their food or any idea where it comes from. A male cow?

In a newspaper? From an honest-to-God journalist? *grumbles* Harrumfff!
 
2013-06-20 05:50:33 PM
Look, the "male cow" thing aside, can we just agree that fluffy cows are freaking adorable? Do they fluffify calves? I might die of teh cutes.

/crap, don't let PETA get ahold of this
 
2013-06-20 06:40:46 PM

Anastacya: Mr. Right: Anastacya: //and I saw the honest-to-god definition of explosive diarrhea; oh god, the image

So when you're loading cattle onto a truck,  you have to get behind and push.  Where do you suppose Captain Kangaroo's sidekick Mr. Greenjeans got his moniker?

Try that image on for size.

I saw that, but it wasn't loading the cattle onto the truck when it happened.


In one of the more memorable episodes of my misspent youth working on a large cattle ranch, we had to wean and load 300 calves that had been running in clover.  Clover has a profoundly purgative effect on bovines.  I made the mistake of being the closest on the first load and ended up being the pusher for the day.  The particular pasture we were working was about 75 miles from the home place.  By the time I got home at the end of a 20 hour day, pulling my jeans off removed all the hair on my legs with the efficiency of a Brazilian - but with a lot more pain.

I was also very hungry.  For incomprehensible reasons, the local greasy spoon refused my patronage - even though management welcomed all the other cowboys.  And I lost my appetite when they brought me a meal to go but the only way to eat it was on my lap.

I have a lot of fond memories of working on the ranch.  That is not one of them.
 
2013-06-20 06:53:19 PM

anfrind: [img.fark.net image 222x300]

Approve ov dis headline


heehee
 
2013-06-20 11:41:33 PM
Green Acres?
 
2013-06-21 08:20:48 AM
www.monstersandcritics.de
 
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