Worldwalker: If someone is a greedy Bridezilla or (what's the male equivalent?)
orbister: ExcaliburPrime111: Both sides violated social etiquette to a huge extent. I think few people would oppose the notion that the newlyweds acted inappropriately, but I also think that the "gift givers" are to blame as well. The social convention is to give money, or at least a gift commensurate in value to the money spent hosting you.Where? I've always thought money was considered a tacky and unimaginative wedding present. Anyway, how are you supposed to know how much the whole thing cost, and what your share is, in advance?
Worldwalker: If someone is a greedy Bridezilla or (what's the male equivalent?
ShangriLlama: jst3p: orbister: ExcaliburPrime111: Both sides violated social etiquette to a huge extent. I think few people would oppose the notion that the newlyweds acted inappropriately, but I also think that the "gift givers" are to blame as well. The social convention is to give money, or at least a gift commensurate in value to the money spent hosting you.Where? I've always thought money was considered a tacky and unimaginative wedding present. Anyway, how are you supposed to know how much the whole thing cost, and what your share is, in advance?Duh! Put it on the invitation:Mr. and Mrs. John L. SmithandMr. and Mrs. Mark Franklin Jonesrequest the honor of your presenceat the marriage of their childrenMary Ann SmithandEdward Malcolm JonesYour portion comes to $145.83, double that if plus one.Gift should be of equal or greater value.This is why your posts show up in lovely, cheery green
Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!Be at the Northwest Weld County's most incredible event!Food, Dancing, Drinks (pay bar)And the bonding for life betweenFrank MeltznerandChristine Stephens!Tickets are only $148.53!!!___ Hell YES I want to go ___ I need 2 tickets to this party!!!___ Not this time, but thanks!
SaladMonkey: Although the newlywed was a colossal biatch, the polite thing to do is to cover the cost of your plate.
noitsnot: noitsnot: jst3p: noitsnot: Lorelle: The sound of one hand clapping: In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon...Yes, it is.If the happy couple wants a great honeymoon, perhaps they shouldn't spend so much on the wedding.He's saying "money instead of a blender". Most people get married older (or twice) nowadays, and they already have all the kitchen shiat they need.Have a goddamn registry.No - we already have two houses' worth of shiat. We don't need anymore shiat - we have to get rid of a bunch of it. Just give money. It's easy. But no - you're gonna give me that third bread machine, aren't ya.Actually for the last wedding I went to, the invites basically said "the bride and groom already have everything they need - this is their favorite charity, please donate to it if you would like to celebrate their union with a gift" or some similar verbiage.
Englebert Slaptyback: cowgirl toffeeTell her you want the candy back when the husband smartens up and gets a divorce.Know how we can tell you didn't RTFA?
Aidan: do some kind of tit-for-tat thing.
SphericalTime: Ugh, both sides are at fault. Yeah, the bride is an insanely rude bastard, but a food basket? Why not just a bottle of very nice wine? Cheaper, more appropriate, and easy to buy almost anywhere.
thurstonxhowell: I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.
space1999: <i>Weddings are to make money for your future</i>Seriously? Who thinks this?
teenytinycornteeth: Sid_6.7: teenytinycornteeth: OOO! You have everyone all figured out. So anyone who has a wedding with over 20 people is "putting on a performance" and "exercising selfishness and greed"? It is possible for people filled with love and sincerity to host a large wedding and still have it be meaningful and memorable. I, too have been married for nearly 20 years and I wouldn't change one thing about my wedding.It's possible, but for the vast majority of people, the cost/benefit analysis is waaay off. I have a friend who got married. They spent $4k on a dress, $4k on a cake, probably $10k for the venue with food and everything.They still live in the basement of the father in law's house. I think they spent more on invitations than we spent on our entire wedding.My wife and I are just as married, and probably at least as happy.Fine. But to say that anyone who doesn't just throw a picnic in their backyard is "exercise in selfishness and greed" and "putting on a performance" is a touch unfair. LIke I said above, I inherited a chunk of money specifically to be used for my wedding because I'd always dreamed of a big wedding. It doesn't mean that we're not happy or in love or selfish or any of those assumptions. Not spending a ton of cash doesn't automatically make your marriage or your love more sincere or "real".
jst3p: Better yet, instead of sending invitations sell tickets!
Pray 4 Mojo: Just wondering... what's the proper term for a gluten intolerant lesbian?Lesbiac?Celian?Celyke?
Magnanimous_J: Smelly Pirate Hooker: Magnanimous_J: Smelly Pirate Hooker: If you need money, get a goddam job. Or go on the dole. But to use a wedding as an excuse to shake down friends and family is farking rude. Full stop. No matter how nicely it's phrased in calligraphy on an invitation.But expecting each of them to buy you a present is a-ok? I don't understand the difference.Actually, asking for anything other than somebody's presence in an invitation is rude. There should be no mention whatsoever of gifts in an invitation. It's an invitation. You're supposed to be inviting people to share your special day. Not hitting them up for stuff. The gift thing is a tradition. Now, technically, guests don't have to give a gift. But most people do. As I've mentioned previously, I've given gift cards. Technically the same as money, I guess. But if somebody were to ask directly for money, I'd probably politely decline their invitation. Problem solved. I don't have to feel like I'm being asked to give money to somebody for changing their marital status and they don't have to feel put out because I didn't "cover my plate." Everybody's happy.I don't disagree with you, but given that it's a cultural expectation to bring a gift to a wedding, what is the harm in making known that you would appreciate cash instead of a physical present? I give cash every time I go to weddings. I don't feel hit up by it, I'd rather do that then have to track down some stupid wall clock that the bride picked out.
costermonger: Who said anything about advance? I thought you were supposed to mentally estimate a tab throughout the evening and then add/subtract a tip based on the amount of cleavage the bride is showing.
number_man: "fark you...I hope you choke a little on the food...and guess which is tainted with gluten...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
MemeSlave: MadAzza: What a farking coont.My now-ex and I got married on the beach in Kailua, near our house. We were delighted to have a few friends and our families there, most of whom had to fly from the mainland.Nobody cares that you live in Hawaii.
number_man: My response:"fark you...I hope you choke a little on the food...and guess which is tainted with gluten...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."But honestly, they sound American.
JonZoidberg: thurstonxhowell: I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.I would feel it's bad form to ask how much that would be. If I knew I'd need to pony up more than $200 in gifts, I'd probably find a reason not to go even it it was one of my best friends./got measured for a best-man tux this week
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