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(Toronto Star)   "I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return"   (thestar.com) divider line 372
    More: Asinine, Sour Patch Kids, Miss Manners, Community Code of Conduct, The Spectator  
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16873 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2013 at 5:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-19 05:31:18 PM
My response:

Just a note to let you know some coont is using your email to send out rude messages.
 
2013-06-19 05:31:26 PM

Russ1642: I've never even heard of someone thinking they should profit from a wedding. Have any of you?


Didn't some celebrity get married recently and said they made a healthy profit from it? And then got divorced a week later or something.
 
2013-06-19 05:31:30 PM
You're not really paying $100 a plate, are you?  I don't know much about how these things work, but if a wedding costs you $100 per attendee, then that's covering the party and everything as well, right?  So it's more like you paid $100 for someone to have a party experience, not that the steak itself was $100.

Whatever.  Bride's an asshole.  If she's insisting that everyone else gave at least $150, does that mean no broke people allowed?
 
2013-06-19 05:32:05 PM
Grammar Nazi seen firing up the furnaces of punctuation.
 
2013-06-19 05:32:09 PM
Couldn't they have just used a fake name instead of using "_'s bride", "the bride", or "one of the brides". It was confusing until I figured out they were gay.
 
2013-06-19 05:32:12 PM
In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon.  They would appreciate if cash is given instead of gifts'.  I'm sure that some people might construe that as rude but it's not really that bad and at least then the guests know the score.  It's certainly better than chastising people afterwards for not paying their way.
 
2013-06-19 05:32:26 PM
I marred the Mrs. Flatline in Colombia, South America, where she is from, and I have roots there due to my pop.

Our reception was at the nicest private club in town and for 35 people we had a 5 course meal prepared by an Italian Chef, and the desserts by a  Cordon Bleu Pastry Chef from Switzerland(granted he is an old friend of the family.)

The total nut for the meal was 600 US, which included champagne and cocktails, and then I tipped our servers 100k pesos each(50 bucks US) so I was out 800 bucks.  No one complained...
 
2013-06-19 05:32:29 PM
I was brought up in the tradition that accepting the gift honors the giver. I truly and fully do not comprehend this sense of material entitlement. If you did not think your gathering would be enhanced by my simple presence why bother to invite me? If I bring any gift at all that's a bonus. You should be thankful I even showed up.
 
2013-06-19 05:32:40 PM

SaladMonkey: Although the newlywed was a colossal biatch, the polite thing to do is to cover the cost of your plate.   Weddings are insanely expensive (even small ones), and society expects you to have one.  Moreover, in many cultures, it's an insult NOT to invite people.  So, if you're invited, either don't RSVP, or cover your plate.


For any other party the people that throw the party pay for the party. A wedding is no different.
 
2013-06-19 05:33:08 PM
man, i'm really starting to hate weddings.

here's some advice to people about to get married:

1) nobody cares and nobody wants to be there.  we like you, but find this ceremony to be little more than a wasted weekend.

2) don't spending too much money on weddings, everyone will have more fun.

/ i've never given cash for a wedding.  i just check to see where the people registered and buy them what they asked for.  hopefully online, so i don't have to lug anything around, or learn that it was stolen from the venue.  (happened at a friend's wedding.  some 12 year old kid stole all the envelopes of money).  also, shipping to the married people is infinitely easier for them too.
// if someone send me a letter complaining about my gift, or lack thereof.  i would pat myself on the back for not spending more money on a douchebag.   it's like when you don't give a homeless person money, and they yell at you, and you think, well, now I'm really glad I didn't give you any charity
 
2013-06-19 05:33:34 PM

SaladMonkey: Although the newlywed was a colossal biatch, the polite thing to do is to cover the cost of your plate.   Weddings are insanely expensive (even small ones), and society expects you to have one.  Moreover, in many cultures, it's an insult NOT to invite people.  So, if you're invited, either don't RSVP, or cover your plate.


Seriously? When did this "cover your plate" crap start? I'm giving the same gift whether the reception is at a five star hotel or the local pizza joint.  Hell, I'd probably give a little more to the couple having the reception at the pizza joint, feeling they could really use the money vs the fools blowing $30k.
 
2013-06-19 05:33:50 PM
Am I the only one thinking "YES!  We got Fluffy Whip and Sour Patch Kids for our wedding.  Tonight is gonna be SO kinky!"
 
2013-06-19 05:34:03 PM
I guarantee this attention whore will show up pregnant one day, and dump the other poor girl for guy who she has been dicking the whole time, and expect to keep all the wedding gifts,
 
2013-06-19 05:34:11 PM

rocky_howard: Weddings are among the stupidest traditions we have.

 
2013-06-19 05:34:23 PM

ExcaliburPrime111


Both sides violated social etiquette to a huge extent. I think few people would oppose the notion that the newlyweds acted inappropriately, but I also think that the "gift givers" are to blame as well. The social convention is to give money, or at least a gift commensurate in value to the money spent hosting you.


And here I was thinking that the choice of gift would be based on the relationship the invitee had with the inviter, not based on what the invitee calculated was fair market value for his portion of the wedding and the reception. Should the gift also include a tip?

:-|
 
2013-06-19 05:35:24 PM

theflatline: I marred the Mrs. Flatline in Colombia, South America, where she is from, and I have roots there due to my pop.

Our reception was at the nicest private club in town and for 35 people we had a 5 course meal prepared by an Italian Chef, and the desserts by a  Cordon Bleu Pastry Chef from Switzerland(granted he is an old friend of the family.)

The total nut for the meal was 600 US, which included champagne and cocktails, and then I tipped our servers 100k pesos each(50 bucks US) so I was out 800 bucks.  No one complained...


That's $22 dollars each. Cheaper than McDonalds if you even remotely factor in drinks.
 
2013-06-19 05:35:26 PM

swfan: NotoriousW.O.P: Laura disagrees. She chalks it up to cultural differences. She's Italian...

Don't pin this shiat on my people...

Seriously, my take away from the whole thing is, "I had better not go to an Italian wedding, because I clearly have no idea what's expected!"  Glad to know my clumsy stereotyping was way out of line.

The gift was kind of cheesy, but somebody better be a relative or very close friend of mine for me to give $150+ at their wedding.  My scale (in Denver, CO) would be: $50 to an acquaintance, $100 to a coworker / friend, $200 to family / close friend.


rest assured, there are no lesbian Italian weddings. these biatches would be excommunicated and socially ostracized.   Believe it or not, most if the world is not a farking gaylord paradise.
 
2013-06-19 05:35:28 PM
"Cover your plate" is concept unheard of where I come from. Some people are raised by wolves.
 
2013-06-19 05:35:56 PM
Granted I don't go to many weddings, but I have never given money, nor have I seen many others do it.  If I was told up front that they were expecting money and "the purpose of a wedding is to make money", I would immediately write them off as friends and as Human beings.
 
2013-06-19 05:36:13 PM
Came to thread hoping for pictures of lesbian brides (not the ones from TFA)... leaving disappointed.
 
2013-06-19 05:36:30 PM

space1999: <i>Weddings are to make money for your future</i>

Seriously?  Who thinks this?


People who place no value on friends or family.  Because if the money runs out, they're all you're going to have...
 
2013-06-19 05:36:49 PM
She should have counted her blessings.  My go-to wedding gift is miniature shellacked french fry refrigerator magnets.

(Yes they do exist and no I am not kidding.)
 
2013-06-19 05:37:14 PM
"Weddings are to make money for your future"

FOAD. Seriously.

CSB time: when my wife and I got married, we elected to have a fairly simple reception with lots of wine available, but a cash bar for other stuff. When one of the bridesmaids' fiancée found out there wouldn't be an open bar (a couple days before the wedding) he complained because he 'wouldn't be able to get his money's worth for the gift'. Shockingly, they didn't end up getting married.
 
2013-06-19 05:37:30 PM
Just checked.  Neither "Money" or "Cash" are on my niece's wedding registry.  I got her a nice set of champagne glasses, which were on her list.
 
2013-06-19 05:37:31 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon...


Yes, it is.

If the happy couple wants a great honeymoon, perhaps they shouldn't spend so much on the wedding.
 
2013-06-19 05:38:24 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon.  They would appreciate if cash is given instead of gifts'.  I'm sure that some people might construe that as rude but it's not really that bad and at least then the guests know the score.  It's certainly better than chastising people afterwards for not paying their way.


Sounds more a way to make sure no one attends the wedding.
 
2013-06-19 05:38:34 PM
When my wife and I were married, I was actually shocked at how many people DID give us cash.  We weren't expecting that.  We just wanted to have a great party with our family and friends.

I've never heard that "the purpose of a wedding is to make money."  Laura sounds like a horrible person.
 
2013-06-19 05:38:39 PM
I cover my plate at weddings.  I'm always sitting next to a fat guest who wants to steal my food.
 
2013-06-19 05:38:41 PM

Kraftwerk Orange: space1999: <i>Weddings are to make money for your future</i>

Seriously?  Who thinks this?

People who place no value on friends or family.  Because if the money runs out, they're all you're going to have...


You think if their money runs out they'd still have friends? Family, maybe. Maybe.
 
2013-06-19 05:38:57 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon.  They would appreciate if cash is given instead of gifts'.  I'm sure that some people might construe that as rude but it's not really that bad and at least then the guests know the score.  It's certainly better than chastising people afterwards for not paying their way.


It's outrageously rude to mention anything about gifts or registries period. It's begging and it's tasteless.
 
2013-06-19 05:39:04 PM
Tell her you want the candy back when the husband smartens up and gets a divorce.
 
2013-06-19 05:39:14 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon.  They would appreciate if cash is given instead of gifts'.  I'm sure that some people might construe that as rude but it's not really that bad and at least then the guests know the score.  It's certainly better than chastising people afterwards for not paying their way.


Certainly not any worse than registering at Bed Bath and Beyond or whatever.
 
2013-06-19 05:39:50 PM

JonZoidberg: thurstonxhowell: I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.

I would feel it's bad form to ask how much that would be.  If I knew I'd need to pony up more than $200 in gifts, I'd probably find a reason not to go even it it was one of my best friends.

/got measured for a best-man tux this week


Congrats on the best man gig!

CSB time...

When Mr. Digitalrain and I were getting married, a few days before the wedding we went to
the mall so my dad, fiance, and son could get final fittings. While we were there, this really
cute blonde and her boyfriend were there (it was prom season and he was getting his tux).

My son, who was 5 at the time and in his tux, goes up to the little blonde and starts chatting
her up. When we got ready to go, my son looks at my and my fiance and says, "Can we
take her home with us?"

Everybody laughed and even the blonde's boyfriend ruffled my son's hair and told him that
he was "gonna go far".

/ end CSB
 
2013-06-19 05:40:04 PM

Drunken_Polar_Bear: Am I the only one thinking "YES!  We got Fluffy Whip and Sour Patch Kids for our wedding.  Tonight is gonna be SO kinky!"


No. :)
 
2013-06-19 05:40:32 PM

number_man: My response:

"fark you...I hope you choke a little on the food...and guess which is tainted with gluten...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

But honestly, they sound American.


Nope.  Wedding took place in Hamilton, Ontario, and the newlyweds are Italian and Croatian, according to TFA.  But hey, thanks for assuming all Americans are rude assholes.

/we're not
//just the ones that post on Fark
///if I were the gift giver, my response would be brought to them by the letters G, F, and Y.
 
2013-06-19 05:40:40 PM

Rye_: When my wife and I were married, I was actually shocked at how many people DID give us cash.  We weren't expecting that.


Do people not do the money dance? Is that just a "where I'm from" thing?
 
2013-06-19 05:42:06 PM

Lorelle: The sound of one hand clapping: In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon...

Yes, it is.

If the happy couple wants a great honeymoon, perhaps they shouldn't spend so much on the wedding.


He's saying "money instead of a blender".  Most people get married older (or twice) nowadays, and they already have all the kitchen shiat they need.
 
2013-06-19 05:42:12 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: She says Mason's gift was the laughingstock of the wedding. At a post-wedding pool party the next day, friends and family stopped by the living room to get a look at the basket that's still on display in their home.


"Laughingstock"? Really? It sounds like the brides' friends and family are also rude and petty. How marvelous.


In fairness, this was one of the brides was claiming it's a laughingstock.  My guess is that the guests at the pool party were awkwardly laughing and thinking about how superficial the bride was as she ranted about the gift and made a showpiece of it.
 
2013-06-19 05:42:19 PM
So, no to gay marriage, amieight?
 
2013-06-19 05:42:28 PM
Horrible people. wedding receptions are about celebrating your newly shackled-ness with your favorite friends and family. presents and cash are a perk of course. my reception took an interesting turn when i was introduced to an alleged catholic tradition of stuffing money in my dress and pinning money to my dress.
img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 05:42:28 PM

jigger: Rye_: When my wife and I were married, I was actually shocked at how many people DID give us cash.  We weren't expecting that.

Do people not do the money dance? Is that just a "where I'm from" thing?


It's cultural thing not shared by most Americans.
 
2013-06-19 05:42:34 PM
They must have seen Goodfellas and thought their gifts were all going to be in small envelopes.
 
2013-06-19 05:42:43 PM
I just tick the box that says Will Not Attend and I never have to think about a gift
 
2013-06-19 05:42:57 PM

noitsnot: Lorelle: The sound of one hand clapping: In all seriousness, it's not really that rude to state on the invitation something like 'The happy couple are trying to put together enough money for a great honeymoon...

Yes, it is.

If the happy couple wants a great honeymoon, perhaps they shouldn't spend so much on the wedding.

He's saying "money instead of a blender".  Most people get married older (or twice) nowadays, and they already have all the kitchen shiat they need.


Have a goddamn registry.
 
2013-06-19 05:43:11 PM

jigger: Rye_: When my wife and I were married, I was actually shocked at how many people DID give us cash.  We weren't expecting that.

Do people not do the money dance? Is that just a "where I'm from" thing?


We didn't even have a discussion about that.  It's tacky.
 
2013-06-19 05:43:15 PM
Weddings aren't about collecting gifts, weddings are about which Bridesmaid you want to rail in the fitting room.

For my wedding, I didn't even recall who gave how much, if anything, and It didn't matter to me. As long as they choose to take time out of their life to celebrate with us, that was more than enough.  Plus we gave gifts to everyone that attended.

/One of my good buddies spent the 'envelope' on beer as the Limo didn't have any.  He got it back to me another time, its all cool, Bro
 
2013-06-19 05:43:23 PM

TheDumbBlonde


"Cover your plate" is concept unheard of where I come from. Some people are raised by wolves.


Likewise, and agreed about the wolves. When did this become a thing?? I've been to several weddings in recent years and everyone had registries.

Of course, these were all nice people and not raging b*tchmonsters like those in TFA.
 
2013-06-19 05:44:37 PM
I was with the gift-givers until they engaged the brides in their ungrateful assholery. The proper response to a rude question is a shutdown answer and then silence. When they asked for a receipt, the guests should have sent them a bill for the suit, dress, travel, time off work, et al. Then deduct $40 for cost of gift and sign "You'll get your receipt when we get your payment."
 
2013-06-19 05:44:54 PM

mrswood: Horrible people. wedding receptions are about celebrating your newly shackled-ness with your favorite friends and family. presents and cash are a perk of course. my reception took an interesting turn when i was introduced to an alleged catholic tradition of stuffing money in my dress and pinning money to my dress.
[img.fark.net image 551x720]


Right. The money dance.

Rye_: jigger: Rye_: When my wife and I were married, I was actually shocked at how many people DID give us cash.  We weren't expecting that.

Do people not do the money dance? Is that just a "where I'm from" thing?

We didn't even have a discussion about that.  It's tacky.


But the wedding itself isn't.
 
2013-06-19 05:45:01 PM
I expected this to be in Long Island. Fooled me.
 
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