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(Toronto Star)   "I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return"   (thestar.com) divider line 372
    More: Asinine, Sour Patch Kids, Miss Manners, Community Code of Conduct, The Spectator  
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16881 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2013 at 5:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-19 05:00:53 PM  
Well, it's the thought bottom line that counts.
 
2013-06-19 05:05:49 PM  
Ugh, both sides are at fault.  Yeah, the bride is an insanely rude bastard, but a food basket?  Why not just a bottle of very nice wine?  Cheaper, more appropriate, and easy to buy almost anywhere.
 
2013-06-19 05:08:27 PM  
Kathy Mason and her boyfriend gifted a food basket to Laura (who declined to give her last name) and her bride. When Laura suggested Mason poll "normal functioning people" about her basket-giving blunder, Mason brought the question to The Spectator and the Burlington Mamas Facebook group, where it garnered more than 200 responses in less than 24 hours. Even those who agreed cash was a more appropriate gift thought the bride's reaction was rude.

You see conservatives! Gay married couples can be just as rude and petty as straight married couples! There is zero difference!

/What a biatch
 
2013-06-19 05:16:02 PM  
That's it... no more gay marriage. Sorry.
 
2013-06-19 05:19:17 PM  
I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.
 
2013-06-19 05:20:32 PM  
Wow.  Those brides are assholes.  And laughing at the gift and pointing it out to others?

You don't throw a wedding to break even / make money / turn a profit.  What the hell.
 
2013-06-19 05:20:56 PM  
Yeesh.  I couldn't imagine having TWO bridezillas.

If you throw a wedding - don't expect any gifts in return.  If you feel you would be shorted/upset if you had to pay for someone's meal and they didn't give you anything - don't invite them!  It probably isn't worth having them there anyway!
 
2013-06-19 05:21:08 PM  

She says Mason's gift was the laughingstock of the wedding. At a post-wedding pool party the next day, friends and family stopped by the living room to get a look at the basket that's still on display in their home.


"Laughingstock"? Really? It sounds like the brides' friends and family are also rude and petty. How marvelous.
 
2013-06-19 05:21:50 PM  
"Cover my plate"? Like pay for it? You invited me toots. Enjoy your toaster, I'll be at the bar drinking your booze.
 
2013-06-19 05:22:19 PM  
Reading the total exchange...all involved are over-entitled shiats.
 
2013-06-19 05:22:47 PM  
Wow, what a tremendous biatch. It may not be the best present ever, but if the wedding is just a ruse to get people to pay you for a party then you're singularly farking stupid.
 
2013-06-19 05:22:57 PM  
<i>Weddings are to make money for your future</i>

Seriously?  Who thinks this?
 
2013-06-19 05:23:05 PM  
Seriously? What kind of a coont demands money?  This biatch deserves to be slapped!
 
2013-06-19 05:23:11 PM  
Laura disagrees. She chalks it up to cultural differences. She's Italian...

Don't pin this shiat on my people...
 
2013-06-19 05:23:31 PM  

thurstonxhowell: I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.


I would feel it's bad form to ask how much that would be.  If I knew I'd need to pony up more than $200 in gifts, I'd probably find a reason not to go even it it was one of my best friends.

/got measured for a best-man tux this week
 
2013-06-19 05:23:43 PM  
You know, a creative couple would be able to turn that gift into quite an entertaining evening.  Shame on the bride for being boring.
 
2013-06-19 05:23:51 PM  
If you can't afford to throw a party for $34,000, don't pay that much for your reception.  It's really that simple.  Expecting to recoup the costs via cash gifts from your guests is as stupid as it is rude.
 
2013-06-19 05:23:53 PM  
Stop having wedding you inconsiderate mother farkers !! no one cares who you fark or who you live with.  I have better shiat to do with my weekends and vacation days and money than celebrate the fact that your game got so weak you had to settle down.
 
2013-06-19 05:24:14 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Wow.  Those brides are assholes.  And laughing at the gift and pointing it out to others?

You don't throw a wedding to break even / make money / turn a profit.  What the hell.


You do if you're a dumb coot.

/ $200 a plate? Why didn't they get a local resturaunt to cater the event? It be half of that at least.
 
2013-06-19 05:24:19 PM  
The bride(s) could use a good coontpunch.
 
2013-06-19 05:24:40 PM  

space1999: <i>Weddings are to make money for your future</i>

Seriously?  Who thinks this?


That one got me, too.  I can't help but think this is a horrible person, and nothing in the article dissuades me from that conclusion.
 
2013-06-19 05:24:43 PM  
My response:

"fark you...I hope you choke a little on the food...and guess which is tainted with gluten...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

But honestly, they sound American.
 
2013-06-19 05:24:51 PM  

thurstonxhowell: I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.


I'm surprised. I've never even thought of it this way. I'm always glad to be invited, but... Er. I thought I was invited for being me. If the people couldn't afford my presence, I wouldn't have been offended to not be invited. I certainly don't expect to pay my way (unless my dietary requirements are annoyingly picky), or do some kind of tit-for-tat thing.

However, I don't have a lot of experience with weddings, so this could be a very minority view.
 
2013-06-19 05:24:53 PM  
yeah & i bet you wore a white wedding dress too!
 
2013-06-19 05:25:11 PM  
FTFA: She says it cost $34,000 to host 210 guests at a local wedding hall.

Holy sh*t! Horrible rudeness aside, people are absolutely insane when it comes to shelling out thousands for the spectacle that weddings have become.

Like I've said for years, I'm going to the court house and then throwing a party for people to drink and gorge on food to celebrate - screw the whole wedding ridiculousness, it's absurd.
 
2013-06-19 05:25:12 PM  
See, now, this has an obvious solution: print out the bride's text, wipe your ass with it, and send it to her in a very nice envelope, since she apparently expected something in an envelope.

Or just tell her to go fark herself.

Having said all that, I think even I could have come up with a better present than a basket full of food. Gift card to Bed, Bath & Beyond or Home Depot. Monogrammed towels. Gift certificate for couple's massage at a spa. Something somewhat thoughtful.

But this expecting envelopes with money in them as a wedding present bullshiat has got to stop. I don't care if some "cultures" do it, it's tacky as shiat. If you want money, get a farking second job. I know a bride who got 3 jobs to pay off her bills. If you can't afford your big gigantic wedding, cut some shiat out of it. The guests aren't obligated to subsidize it.
 
2013-06-19 05:25:55 PM  
When Mr Mafiageek1980 and I got married a couple of years ago, we didn't care if we got gifts or not because we were about to move anyway (from Odessa, to Austin). Needless to say, the gifts we got we are still using today (a flask, vegan cookbook, picture frames, candles, etc). We kept it small and fun for EVERYONE (we got drunk and went bowling after the reception). I don't get the whole "Bridezilla" thing. Hell, aren't weddings supposed to be about a union of two people and celebration?

/btw, I would have LOVED if someone got us that gift basket, thank you very much!
 
2013-06-19 05:26:10 PM  

SphericalTime: Ugh, both sides are at fault.  Yeah, the bride is an insanely rude bastard, but a food basket?  Why not just a bottle of very nice wine?  Cheaper, more appropriate, and easy to buy almost anywhere.


I'm not sure I agree that both sides are at fault - if the guests thought that some fun salsas, etc. along with a card about life together being delicious was a nice gesture, why would a bottle of wine be a better one?  The bride's problem here was that the guests didn't give her money.  It's not like she would have been happier with a bottle of wine, she wanted cash to cover the cost of the wedding she couldn't afford.

I pity the woman this woman is married to, although it sounds like the bride's friends and family are all a**holes as well, so they probably deserve each other.
 
2013-06-19 05:26:12 PM  
My take on it? Don't say a thing. Just put the gift box (opened of course) on display next to the other gifts of wine, cheese, small appliances, etc. Don't comment on it. Don't mention who it's from. Let everyone speculate which one of them contributed the crappy gift. The first one to slink away from the reception is probably the culprit.
 
2013-06-19 05:26:20 PM  
Yeesh, what an awful human. She seems to have invited people to her wedding simply to extort money from them.
 
2013-06-19 05:26:35 PM  
If I ever get married, which is unlikely, I expect my guests to show up, have a good time, and not make complete asses of themselves. Nothing more.
 
2013-06-19 05:26:51 PM  
Honestly that was a tacky gift. However as tacky as it was, the rudeness in response was astoundingly demonstrative of poor manners, etiquette and downright bad behavior. I, and my wife for that matter, have gotten some gifts along those lines over the years from various family for various occasions. You may laugh about it in private but in public and to that person you smile and thank them, then never ever bring it up again.
 
2013-06-19 05:27:07 PM  
Well I for one know that the best, most direct way to solve a dispute is to turn to the internet for strangers to decide who was right!
 
2013-06-19 05:27:20 PM  
That is a horribly shiatty gift. A jar of marshmellow crud? Personally I would eat that up in about three minutes but that's just stupid.

But when someone gives you a gift, don't be a farking d-bag about it. If you don't want it and you can't easily return it, re-gift it or something. And no, nobody owes you for the cost of your wedding. You choose to spend that much. You should expect to finish the day well out of pocket.
 
2013-06-19 05:27:21 PM  
What a farking coont.

My now-ex and I got married on the beach in Kailua, near our house. We were delighted to have a few friends and our families there, most of whom had to fly from the mainland.

I couldn't have cared less if we'd received no gifts, and can't imagine seeing our wedding as a tit-for-tat (calm down) affair.

"Laura" needs to be schooled in proper bridal comportment.
 
2013-06-19 05:27:38 PM  
I'll probably never wind up getting married (so, so alone...), but if I did I would want to specifically forbid presents.  A wedding is a celebration of joining, not a cash grab.  No one should feel compelled to ante up to join the party.
 
2013-06-19 05:27:43 PM  
Perhaps the gift-givers couldn't afford to spend $200 on those money-grubbing, unappreciative biatches. Besides, gift baskets tend to be overpriced. The one pictured could have cost $50 or more.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:03 PM  

SphericalTime: Ugh, both sides are at fault.  Yeah, the bride is an insanely rude bastard, but a food basket?  Why not just a bottle of very nice wine?  Cheaper, more appropriate, and easy to buy almost anywhere.


thurstonxhowell: I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.


WTF!?!?!?  You both have ANY sense of compassion for this bride?  FARK HER!!!  Hard, in the ass with a rusty pipe!  She invited people to her wedding, she chose to spend whatever amount she felt comfortable spending to celebrate her marriage.  For her to expect anything in return, other than well wishes and congratulations, especially from non-family, is about the rudest god damn thing ever.....Stupid whore needs to be  slapped with a farking truck.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:13 PM  

NotoriousW.O.P: Laura disagrees. She chalks it up to cultural differences. She's Italian...

Don't pin this shiat on my people...


Seriously, my take away from the whole thing is, "I had better not go to an Italian wedding, because I clearly have no idea what's expected!"  Glad to know my clumsy stereotyping was way out of line.

The gift was kind of cheesy, but somebody better be a relative or very close friend of mine for me to give $150+ at their wedding.  My scale (in Denver, CO) would be: $50 to an acquaintance, $100 to a coworker / friend, $200 to family / close friend.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:23 PM  
Well, at least they didn't include chocolate dicks in the gift basket.  That might have made things a whole lot worse.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:28 PM  
Both sides violated social etiquette to a huge extent.  I think few people would oppose the notion that the newlyweds acted inappropriately, but I also think that the "gift givers" are to blame as well.  The social convention is to give money, or at least a gift commensurate in value to the money spent hosting you.

The way to handle that "gift" however is not to e-mail the gift givers, make gift demands, or make the gift a laughing stock though.  You just say:  "Well, out of 210 guests, these two violated etiquette, guess we're not inviting them in the future" and be done with it.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:40 PM  

Huck Chaser: If you can't afford to throw a party for $34,000, don't pay that much for your reception.  It's really that simple.  Expecting to recoup the costs via cash gifts from your guests is as stupid as it is rude.


Pretty much this.  9 months to plan your wedding, and what?  9 hours to plan your marriage?
$34,000 could be put to so much better use.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:43 PM  
I've never even heard of someone thinking they should profit from a wedding. Have any of you?
 
2013-06-19 05:28:45 PM  
Although the newlywed was a colossal biatch, the polite thing to do is to cover the cost of your plate.   Weddings are insanely expensive (even small ones), and society expects you to have one.  Moreover, in many cultures, it's an insult NOT to invite people.  So, if you're invited, either don't RSVP, or cover your plate.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:57 PM  
Why didn't they charge admission to the wedding? Would have saved some trouble.
 
2013-06-19 05:29:28 PM  
She's an ill-bred lesbian coont is what she is.  This should come as a surprise to nobody.
 
2013-06-19 05:29:35 PM  
The Mrs. and I got married in graduate school, so we didn't expect (or get) much from like half our guests. We didn't care, we were happy our friends and family were out for our big day and had fun. Who the hell does a wedding to turn a profit? And buys steak and spends $30,000? These brides completely missed the point. A gift basket of food is actually kind of thoughtful, like something to snack on for your honeymoon or something.

"Pretty greedy, gays"
-Dmitri Martin
 
2013-06-19 05:29:53 PM  

thurstonxhowell: I always try to cover my plate at a wedding, but you can't just expect everyone to do so.


Ditto plus a little extra.  Unless it's a cash bar then I deduct my cost to tolerate three hours of awkward white people.
 
2013-06-19 05:29:56 PM  
Weddings are among the stupidest traditions we have. You expect me to spend tens of thousands of dollars on throwing a party just for social recognition instead of investing/spending that money on having a more comfortable home? You're way deluded.

And fark bridezillas.
 
2013-06-19 05:30:01 PM  

Aidan: do some kind of tit-for-tat thing.



Hey, we both said "tit-for-tat" ... JINX!
 
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