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(Uproxx)   A Milford, CT man has successfully used Kickstarter to fund publish a "how to get girls" book. A sample excerpt: "Don't ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your d*%k." Well okay then   (uproxx.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Kickstarter, Neil Strauss, selections, free country  
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2060 clicks; posted to Geek » on 19 Jun 2013 at 6:41 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-19 10:46:53 PM  
3 votes:
Guys who say women reject nice guys like them and go after assholes seem to be the guys who only go after asshole women. "Well, I asked out every shallow cheerleader, snotty rich girl, and hot batshiat insane partygirl in school and they all rejected me. Women are all evil and terrible and only date jerks and jocks." Meanwhile there's probably some girl not up to his strict beauty standards who likes him but she's invisible to him.

If you biatch about getting used and friendzoned by the hot chick who keeps falling for jerks...surprise, you're just another person falling for a jerk because they're attractive.
2013-06-19 05:55:46 PM  
3 votes:
Women aren't looking for men that treat them like a "human being with goals and aspirations and interests and desires" at least not for potential mating prospects. They look for those guys after the guy she's sleeping with just punched her lights out or got arrested for the 87th time, and even then, it's only to have someone non threatening to talk to until her boyfriend gets out of lockup or sobers up after hitting her.

 Are there women out there looking for a guy that will treat them well? Yes, but they're all married or engaged already.
2013-06-19 10:08:32 PM  
2 votes:

asdfbeau: the quote comes from a section explicitly labeled Sex, which after the section on fondling, which is after the section on kissing, which is after the section on knowing the right time and place.
and before the section on kissing is:
"
IMPORTANT NOTE ON RESISTANCE:

If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says "STOP," or "GET AWAY FROM ME," or shoves you away, you know she is not interested. It happens. Stop escalating immediately and say this line:

"No problem. I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

Memorize that line. It is your go-to when faced with resistance. Say it genuinely, without presumption. All master seducers are also masters at making women feel comfortable. You'll be no different.  If a woman isn't comfortable, take a break and try again later.

All that matters is that you continue to try to escalate physically
until she makes it genuinely clear that it's not happening. She wants to be desired, but the circumstances need to be right. With some experience, you will learn to differentiate the  "No, we can't... my parents are in the next room... OMG fark ME fark ME HARD" from the"SERIOUSLY GET THE fark OFF OF ME, YOU CREEP" variety of resistance.

Of course if you're really unclear, back off. Better safe than sorry.
"
normally i wouldn't get in the way of a fark lynching, but after spending a little time reading what the guy's trying to publish, it looks like he's actually trying to teach guys not to be self-centered assholes.



No, he's trying to teach them to be rapists. In his scenario, the girl yells stop or "get away from me" or physically shoves him away, and he tells them to continue after a slight pause. Does he also have helpful suggestions during that pause like "ply her with a drink or six" or "roofies will keep her from shoving you away again"?
2013-06-19 05:55:25 PM  
2 votes:
Well that's wonderful ... if you're into hump n dump casual sex. I'd much prefer a meaningful relationship with one person who is right for me when the time is right.
2013-06-20 12:24:48 PM  
1 vote:

Sultan Of Herf: there are plenty of girls who are practically giving it away.


Not to the unfarkables who think reading this book will solve their unfarkability problems, they're not.
2013-06-20 08:35:16 AM  
1 vote:

poot_rootbeer: This is a strategy guide that treats sex like it's a video game, and women as NPCs.


It's a different currency, but the idea is the same: women are vending machines, and if you put the correct change in, sex falls out. When sex does not fall out, it is obviously jammed up there, and men are right to get upset, in the same way that you'd get upset when the machine refuses to give you the Funyuns that you rightfully purchased.
2013-06-20 07:49:07 AM  
1 vote:

torusXL: Having lines drawn, even by a douche bag and his sly book, is better than nothing, especially if we're talking about safety.


The issue is that, in the real world, this book's advice requires you to tromp over the  actual lines that we've drawn. Much of the advice people are quoting depends on the premise that anything you do is okay  until you hear "no". That's wrong, and it's wrong for many reasons, but for starters- you've already crossed the lines of respectful and responsible conduct. You don't touch people without their permission. Period. It need not be  explicit permission, and this is where people need to develop and understand social behavior. There is a whole spectrum of non-verbal communication that carries the vast majority of our social interactions.

torusXL: Until we live in a world where both genders participate equally in sexual encounters


Hey, that is the world I live in. Why would I waste my time with a sexual partner who isn't an equal participant?
2013-06-20 07:30:32 AM  
1 vote:

Quantum Apostrophe: js34603: Quantum Apostrophe: It's pretty funny. Convinced me more than ever that most couples are just together for convenience.

Forever alone.

You're alone too. You're just with someone that happened to be less effort than someone else to get.


Perhaps you're unfamiliar with the actual definition of the word "alone"?
2013-06-20 05:28:19 AM  
1 vote:

if_i_really_have_to: asdfbeau: normally i wouldn't get in the way of a fark lynching, but after spending a little time reading what the guy's trying to publish, it looks like he's actually trying to teach guys not to be self-centered assholes.

Which would be great if women hadn't been socialised to not make a fuss, and to just smile and put up with shiat.

His assumption is that if he backs a girl up against a wall and starts feeling her up she will feel able to say "no stop" if she doesn't like it.

Listen to the actual accounts of women who have experienced non-violent sexual assault in public, and you will find many felt entirely unable to protest, they were just paralysed, scared and ashamed.


F42: because asking for permission to kiss her is sure to make the ladies say yes

nothing they lovemore than a nice, meek boy

You're an unimaginative arsehole.  It actually is quite hot/romantic for a guy to say how desperately he wants to kiss you and stare longingly into your eyes and say "can I?"

Anyway gaining consent for a kiss can be as simple as waiting for her to close the final half-inch gap between your lips and hers.


Hate to point this out - but your argument is the same argument that other cultures and religions use to repress women. Essentially, they infantilize them to the point where they become incapable of making their own decisions, or that is the way that they are viewed by the culture/religion in question..

Just flip the argument you are making and apply it to men. Would it be laughable to say that men cannot control their reactions towards sex and sexual behavior because they have been conditioned by society to act otherwise? Or would we say that men have a responsibility as thinking beings to make decisions for themselves about what constitutes their own sexual behavior (certainly the law views it this way for both genders...)

Real tools of oppression are things like shaming, beatings and laws. You see this in many places in the world - not so much in our first world western societies and definitely not ever applied to a woman who slap a man for getting fresh with her (to borrow the olden vernacular).

To sum up - women are not children because they have vaginas and treating them as such is anti-feminist. All people regardless of gender have the responsibility to know what is acceptable behavior both towards themselves and towards others and to react appropriately. I believe that this is a message that we are currently pushing quite hard (and have for many years) and I fully support it. Excusing people for not following up on this behavior isn't actually helping at all. The expectation should be that you will know what is right for you in how you are treated as well as in how you treat others and be respectful of yourself and other people and violating this should be dealt with immediately and vocally.
2013-06-20 03:23:11 AM  
1 vote:

asdfbeau: normally i wouldn't get in the way of a fark lynching, but after spending a little time reading what the guy's trying to publish, it looks like he's actually trying to teach guys not to be self-centered assholes.


Which would be great if women hadn't been socialised to not make a fuss, and to just smile and put up with shiat.

His assumption is that if he backs a girl up against a wall and starts feeling her up she will feel able to say "no stop" if she doesn't like it.

Listen to the actual accounts of women who have experienced non-violent sexual assault in public, and you will find many felt entirely unable to protest, they were just paralysed, scared and ashamed.


F42: because asking for permission to kiss her is sure to make the ladies say yes

nothing they lovemore than a nice, meek boy


You're an unimaginative arsehole.  It actually is quite hot/romantic for a guy to say how desperately he wants to kiss you and stare longingly into your eyes and say "can I?"

Anyway gaining consent for a kiss can be as simple as waiting for her to close the final half-inch gap between your lips and hers.
2013-06-20 01:45:15 AM  
1 vote:

torusXL: Look, think of it like this, it's much more simple for you: I'm raping your straw-men!!


You're sure representing yourself well in this thread.
2013-06-20 12:53:22 AM  
1 vote:

torusXL: Theaetetus: torusXL: F42: because asking for permission to kiss her is sure to make the ladies say yes

nothing they lovemore than a nice, meek boy

Yeah, well, Theaetetus will understand these culture-creating dynamics when he/she gets older.

Yeah, that must be it. Anyone who says "we shouldn't condone sexual assault" must be a child whose opinion will change as they grow up. Ha, ha, children sure are weird.

I think it's more that children put words in people's mouths and fight with straw-men.


You mean like "Theaetetus will understand these culture-creating dynamics when he/she gets older"? I agree. That's pretty despicable behavior. I would hope that whomever said that eventually grows out of it and begins having adult discussions with others.
2013-06-20 12:52:15 AM  
1 vote:

Mr. Pokeylope: Skywolf the Scribbler: Well that's wonderful ... if you're into hump n dump casual sex. I'd much prefer a meaningful relationship with one person who is right for me when the time is right.

...and this is why you are still a virgin Mr. Sensitive.


Sensitivity can get you laid to. Just dont also be ugly.
2013-06-20 12:40:55 AM  
1 vote:

torusXL: F42: because asking for permission to kiss her is sure to make the ladies say yes

nothing they lovemore than a nice, meek boy

Yeah, well, Theaetetus will understand these culture-creating dynamics when he/she gets older.


Yeah, that must be it. Anyone who says "we shouldn't condone sexual assault" must be a child whose opinion will change as they grow up. Ha, ha, children sure are weird.
2013-06-20 12:11:53 AM  
1 vote:

torusXL: Having lines drawn, even by a douche bag and his sly book, is better than nothing, especially if we're talking about safety.


That's the point - he's not drawing lines. He's saying that "well, there's a line when she says 'no, stop, get the fark off of me," but really, that just means keep going." He's explicitly arguing  against lines.

torusXL: Until we live in a world where both genders participate equally in sexual encounters, then there will be a need for an analysis on the boundaries of the coy-er sex.


Until we get away from the social requirement that one sex be "coy-er", then we won't have a world with both genders participating equally in sexual encounters,  by definition.
2013-06-19 10:32:02 PM  
1 vote:

t3knomanser: Theaetetus: or physically shoves him away, and he tells them to continue after a slight pause.

Well "later" doesn't mean a "short pause", it just means later. I like the emphasis on that, personally. It demonstrates that the only value a woman has is for sex, at least in his mind.

Also "escalate until you're told no" is still a recipe for sexual assault. "Escalate" a little bit, and see what the response is. Don't just start shoving your hands into people's personal space.


On the other hand, and in seriousness, maybe it demonstrates the lack of any value our society has for sex in general. The boundaries for how to get at a coy person aren't clear, and attempts to talk about it (like this book) are denounced for what seems to me very odd logic.
Having lines drawn, even by a douche bag and his sly book, is better than nothing, especially if we're talking about safety.

Would you prefer that the biological desire for sex were combined with a world where attempts to paint some explicit boundaries were suppressed like heresy?

That might be a recipe for a rapin'.

Until we live in a world where both genders participate equally in sexual encounters, then there will be a need for an analysis on the boundaries of the coy-er sex.
2013-06-19 10:24:29 PM  
1 vote:

Theaetetus: or physically shoves him away, and he tells them to continue after a slight pause.


Well "later" doesn't mean a "short pause", it just means later. I like the emphasis on that, personally. It demonstrates that the only value a woman has is for sex, at least in his mind.

Also "escalate until you're told no" is still a recipe for sexual assault. "Escalate" a little bit, and see what the response is. Don't just start shoving your hands into people's personal space.
2013-06-19 07:45:57 PM  
1 vote:

LiberalWeenie: Whenever I hear about men like this, I wonder if they started out that way or they were rejected by women so many times that they became misogynists.

Like all men, I've been rejected a lot. In online dating, more than 100 times in the past year. I'm still a sweet guy, but I could see how some men might become angry and how some might succumb to that anger.


Or possibly seeing others burned.  Being in the military, I've seen so many marriages and relationships soured due to infidelity (granted, on both sides, but more often initiated by the females), it's easy to extrapolate where the hate comes from.  It's so endemic on base that:

1) you know when a battallion just left base when you see a rush of traffic to the on-base housing
2) Post-deployment briefings are given before you reach home, always with the admonition that a call 30 minutes before arriving has saved many marriages.

I won't lie, after all I've seen, I simply don't trust anyone in a relationship.  However, others might have different reactions.
2013-06-19 07:28:01 PM  
1 vote:

LiberalWeenie: Whenever I hear about men like this, I wonder if they started out that way or they were rejected by women so many times that they became misogynists.


Little of column A, little of column B, probably. If being rejected by women causes you to think of all women as biatches who deserve to be assaulted, then you were probably already a bit of an asshole initially - and it may well be the cause of all those rejections.
2013-06-19 06:51:11 PM  
1 vote:

Skywolf the Scribbler: Well that's wonderful ... if you're into hump n dump casual sex. I'd much prefer a meaningful relationship with one person who is right for me when the time is right.


...and this is why you are still a virgin Mr. Sensitive.
2013-06-19 06:45:37 PM  
1 vote:
Some broads like that.

But really, in the absence of cash or some other type of power, the rules remain:

img.photobucket.com
2013-06-19 05:15:21 PM  
1 vote:
cdn.uproxx.com

Ahahahahaha, that's a good one! Funniest part of the whole article!
 
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