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(Uproxx)   A Milford, CT man has successfully used Kickstarter to fund publish a "how to get girls" book. A sample excerpt: "Don't ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your d*%k." Well okay then   (uproxx.com) divider line 88
    More: Dumbass, Kickstarter, Neil Strauss, selections, free country  
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2005 clicks; posted to Geek » on 19 Jun 2013 at 6:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-19 05:06:16 PM  
When Dullards Attempt Satire: Extreme Brosephine Edition
 
2013-06-19 05:14:19 PM  
You can always tell a Milford man.
 
2013-06-19 05:15:21 PM  
cdn.uproxx.com

Ahahahahaha, that's a good one! Funniest part of the whole article!
 
2013-06-19 05:25:09 PM  
The author on set with Justin Timberlake.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-06-19 05:25:40 PM  
First step, ask her out and treat her like a lady.
Second step, tell her she's the one you're dreaming of.
Third step, make her grab your dick and lever let it go.
Don't you know step by step, step by step, you'll win her love.
 
2013-06-19 05:33:15 PM  

spman: [cdn.uproxx.com image 479x211]

Ahahahahaha, that's a good one! Funniest part of the whole article!


No, it's good advice.

Pretend a woman is a human being with goals and aspirations and interests and desires until you fark her. Then get back to treating her like a woman.
 
2013-06-19 05:34:04 PM  
Does that not work?

/dnrtfa
 
2013-06-19 05:36:51 PM  
d*%k?
You can't say "dick" in a Fark headline?
 
2013-06-19 05:55:25 PM  
Well that's wonderful ... if you're into hump n dump casual sex. I'd much prefer a meaningful relationship with one person who is right for me when the time is right.
 
2013-06-19 05:55:46 PM  
Women aren't looking for men that treat them like a "human being with goals and aspirations and interests and desires" at least not for potential mating prospects. They look for those guys after the guy she's sleeping with just punched her lights out or got arrested for the 87th time, and even then, it's only to have someone non threatening to talk to until her boyfriend gets out of lockup or sobers up after hitting her.

 Are there women out there looking for a guy that will treat them well? Yes, but they're all married or engaged already.
 
2013-06-19 06:01:29 PM  
img.fark.net

Old news.
 
2013-06-19 06:03:59 PM  
Um, you put anything in my hand that I don't want there and you might not be getting it back.

/it's all in the wrist
 
2013-06-19 06:05:21 PM  
Bill Clinton ghostwriting this?
 
2013-06-19 06:45:37 PM  
Some broads like that.

But really, in the absence of cash or some other type of power, the rules remain:

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-19 06:48:15 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: You can always tell a Milford man.


s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-06-19 06:50:31 PM  
I grew up in Milford and this does not surprise me.
 
2013-06-19 06:51:11 PM  

Skywolf the Scribbler: Well that's wonderful ... if you're into hump n dump casual sex. I'd much prefer a meaningful relationship with one person who is right for me when the time is right.


...and this is why you are still a virgin Mr. Sensitive.
 
2013-06-19 06:53:50 PM  
img.fark.net

It's pretty funny. Convinced me more than ever that most couples are just together for convenience.
 
2013-06-19 07:00:28 PM  
sounds more like a guide on how to get slapped with a sexual harassment law suit or how to become a sex offender.
 
2013-06-19 07:03:49 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: It's pretty funny. Convinced me more than ever that most couples are just together for convenience.


Forever alone.
 
2013-06-19 07:07:22 PM  
I thought you used Star Trek Voyager approach.

Hologram: My sure way with the ladies is to treat a lady like a tramp and a tramp like a lady.

Torres: Paris, did you program this guy?

Paris: Yes, why?

Torres: Well he's a pig and so are you.

Paris: (meh face)

Hologram: Well most of the time.
 
2013-06-19 07:08:28 PM  

js34603: Quantum Apostrophe: It's pretty funny. Convinced me more than ever that most couples are just together for convenience.

Forever alone.


You're alone too. You're just with someone that happened to be less effort than someone else to get.
 
2013-06-19 07:08:54 PM  
As chronicled by Roger Kahn in Memories of Summer: When Baseball Was an Art, and Writing About It a Game,:

After a while, he decided to offer me a specific lesson in seduction without demanding anything in return.
"Pick 'em up at seven o'clock", Durocher said. "Sit down next to her on the couch,"
"Oh, I've done that," I said.
"Now, five minutes into your date, at 7:05, put your hand on her crotch."
"Beg pardon."
"On her crotch. Her snatch. If she leaves your hand there, you know all you gotta know. You're gonna get laid. If she knocks it off, well it's early yet, just after seven o'clock. You got plenty of time to call up someone else. But you'd be surprised, kid. A whole lot of famous and beautiful broads don't knock your hand off their snatch."
 
2013-06-19 07:16:40 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: You can always tell a Milford man.


If this Milford man follows his own advice, he's going to have to move to Sudden Valley.
 
2013-06-19 07:22:12 PM  
Whenever I hear about men like this, I wonder if they started out that way or they were rejected by women so many times that they became misogynists.

Like all men, I've been rejected a lot. In online dating, more than 100 times in the past year. I'm still a sweet guy, but I could see how some men might become angry and how some might succumb to that anger.
 
2013-06-19 07:28:01 PM  

LiberalWeenie: Whenever I hear about men like this, I wonder if they started out that way or they were rejected by women so many times that they became misogynists.


Little of column A, little of column B, probably. If being rejected by women causes you to think of all women as biatches who deserve to be assaulted, then you were probably already a bit of an asshole initially - and it may well be the cause of all those rejections.
 
2013-06-19 07:28:03 PM  
Done in two.
 
2013-06-19 07:29:52 PM  
thumbs.anyclip.com
That's ASSAULT, brutha!
 
2013-06-19 07:30:11 PM  

Sgt Otter: [img.fark.net image 500x289]

Old news.


Came for this.
 
2013-06-19 07:40:26 PM  
A Fark Misogyny thread with only 29 comments and just a handful of MRA knuckle-draggers?  You're slipping, Fark.
 
2013-06-19 07:45:57 PM  

LiberalWeenie: Whenever I hear about men like this, I wonder if they started out that way or they were rejected by women so many times that they became misogynists.

Like all men, I've been rejected a lot. In online dating, more than 100 times in the past year. I'm still a sweet guy, but I could see how some men might become angry and how some might succumb to that anger.


Or possibly seeing others burned.  Being in the military, I've seen so many marriages and relationships soured due to infidelity (granted, on both sides, but more often initiated by the females), it's easy to extrapolate where the hate comes from.  It's so endemic on base that:

1) you know when a battallion just left base when you see a rush of traffic to the on-base housing
2) Post-deployment briefings are given before you reach home, always with the admonition that a call 30 minutes before arriving has saved many marriages.

I won't lie, after all I've seen, I simply don't trust anyone in a relationship.  However, others might have different reactions.
 
2013-06-19 07:53:28 PM  
Wow, that kind of humor is not rare or shocking anymore in today's society. It is not subversive anymore, it is mainstream.
 
2013-06-19 07:53:56 PM  
It's solid advice, really.  If, after you pick a girl up, put her in your lap and whip your dick out, you still have any semblance of a dick to work with, you're in like Flynn.
 
2013-06-19 07:59:48 PM  
If I had to guess, I would say it was Fritzy of the Dannettes that wrote it.
 
2013-06-19 08:02:43 PM  

Intrepid00: I thought you used Star Trek Voyager approach.

Hologram: My sure way with the ladies is to treat a lady like a tramp and a tramp like a lady.

Torres: Paris, did you program this guy?

Paris: Yes, why?

Torres: Well he's a pig and so are you.

Paris: (meh face)

Hologram: Well most of the time.


Then she slept with him.
 
2013-06-19 08:12:27 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: d*%k?
You can't say "dick" in a Fark headline?


You can, but the filter changes it to "Richard".
 
2013-06-19 08:35:28 PM  
Something something Poe's Law something something...
 
2013-06-19 09:04:07 PM  

LiberalWeenie: Whenever I hear about men like this, I wonder if they started out that way or they were rejected by women so many times that they became misogynists.


It could just be that he does it and has had success with it.
Either way he received 8 times as much money as the goal o he's done pretty well even if he made it all up.
 
2013-06-19 09:09:51 PM  
"How to get charged with sexual assault."
 
2013-06-19 09:16:26 PM  
I used to think that treating a woman like any other human would make for a good relationship but never have I been so wrong.
 
2013-06-19 09:18:24 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: js34603: Quantum Apostrophe: It's pretty funny. Convinced me more than ever that most couples are just together for convenience.

Forever alone.

You're alone too. You're just with someone that happened to be less effort than someone else to get.


Aww you're sad. Good luck with life.
 
2013-06-19 09:23:28 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: It could just be that he does it and has had success with it.
Either way he received 8 times as much money as the goal o he's done pretty well even if he made it all up.


Even if he gets laid only 10% of the time, its still a 95% better success rate than your average Farker
 
2013-06-19 09:24:47 PM  
the quote comes from a section explicitly labeled Sex, which after the section on fondling, which is after the section on kissing, which is after the section on knowing the right time and place.
and before the section on kissing is:
"
IMPORTANT NOTE ON RESISTANCE:

If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says "STOP," or "GET AWAY FROM ME," or shoves you away, you know she is not interested. It happens. Stop escalating immediately and say this line:

"No problem. I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

Memorize that line. It is your go-to when faced with resistance. Say it genuinely, without presumption. All master seducers are also masters at making women feel comfortable. You'll be no different.  If a woman isn't comfortable, take a break and try again later.

All that matters is that you continue to try to escalate physically until she makes it genuinely clear that it's not happening. She wants to be desired, but the circumstances need to be right. With some experience, you will learn to differentiate the  "No, we can't... my parents are in the next room... OMG fark ME fark ME HARD" from the"SERIOUSLY GET THE fark OFF OF ME, YOU CREEP" variety of resistance.

Of course if you're really unclear, back off. Better safe than sorry.

"
normally i wouldn't get in the way of a fark lynching, but after spending a little time reading what the guy's trying to publish, it looks like he's actually trying to teach guys not to be self-centered assholes.
 
2013-06-19 09:30:57 PM  

asdfbeau: the quote comes from a section explicitly labeled Sex, which after the section on fondling, which is after the section on kissing, which is after the section on knowing the right time and place.
and before the section on kissing is:
"
IMPORTANT NOTE ON RESISTANCE:

If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says "STOP," or "GET AWAY FROM ME," or shoves you away, you know she is not interested. It happens. Stop escalating immediately and say this line:

"No problem. I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

Memorize that line. It is your go-to when faced with resistance. Say it genuinely, without presumption. All master seducers are also masters at making women feel comfortable. You'll be no different.  If a woman isn't comfortable, take a break and try again later.

All that matters is that you continue to try to escalate physically until she makes it genuinely clear that it's not happening. She wants to be desired, but the circumstances need to be right. With some experience, you will learn to differentiate the  "No, we can't... my parents are in the next room... OMG fark ME fark ME HARD" from the"SERIOUSLY GET THE fark OFF OF ME, YOU CREEP" variety of resistance.

Of course if you're really unclear, back off. Better safe than sorry.
"
normally i wouldn't get in the way of a fark lynching, but after spending a little time reading what the guy's trying to publish, it looks like he's actually trying to teach guys not to be self-centered assholes.


You came in way too late with the facts, sorry. Minds are already made up, lynching accomplished.
 
2013-06-19 10:02:00 PM  

boxiebrown: A Fark Misogyny thread with only 29 comments and just a handful of MRA knuckle-draggers?  You're slipping, Fark.


Some amount of MRA ideas should be allowed to be spoken, otherwise there will just be a giant one-sided conversation around the world.
WAIT A SECOND. boxiebrown's attitude sounds familiar...

Person A: *nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag*
Person B: Yes dear....
 
2013-06-19 10:04:47 PM  
Is this the thread for the constantly over-looked an maligned "Nice Guys"?  Looks like it.
 
2013-06-19 10:08:32 PM  

asdfbeau: the quote comes from a section explicitly labeled Sex, which after the section on fondling, which is after the section on kissing, which is after the section on knowing the right time and place.
and before the section on kissing is:
"
IMPORTANT NOTE ON RESISTANCE:

If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says "STOP," or "GET AWAY FROM ME," or shoves you away, you know she is not interested. It happens. Stop escalating immediately and say this line:

"No problem. I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

Memorize that line. It is your go-to when faced with resistance. Say it genuinely, without presumption. All master seducers are also masters at making women feel comfortable. You'll be no different.  If a woman isn't comfortable, take a break and try again later.

All that matters is that you continue to try to escalate physically
until she makes it genuinely clear that it's not happening. She wants to be desired, but the circumstances need to be right. With some experience, you will learn to differentiate the  "No, we can't... my parents are in the next room... OMG fark ME fark ME HARD" from the"SERIOUSLY GET THE fark OFF OF ME, YOU CREEP" variety of resistance.

Of course if you're really unclear, back off. Better safe than sorry.
"
normally i wouldn't get in the way of a fark lynching, but after spending a little time reading what the guy's trying to publish, it looks like he's actually trying to teach guys not to be self-centered assholes.



No, he's trying to teach them to be rapists. In his scenario, the girl yells stop or "get away from me" or physically shoves him away, and he tells them to continue after a slight pause. Does he also have helpful suggestions during that pause like "ply her with a drink or six" or "roofies will keep her from shoving you away again"?
 
2013-06-19 10:24:29 PM  

Theaetetus: or physically shoves him away, and he tells them to continue after a slight pause.


Well "later" doesn't mean a "short pause", it just means later. I like the emphasis on that, personally. It demonstrates that the only value a woman has is for sex, at least in his mind.

Also "escalate until you're told no" is still a recipe for sexual assault. "Escalate" a little bit, and see what the response is. Don't just start shoving your hands into people's personal space.
 
2013-06-19 10:32:02 PM  

t3knomanser: Theaetetus: or physically shoves him away, and he tells them to continue after a slight pause.

Well "later" doesn't mean a "short pause", it just means later. I like the emphasis on that, personally. It demonstrates that the only value a woman has is for sex, at least in his mind.

Also "escalate until you're told no" is still a recipe for sexual assault. "Escalate" a little bit, and see what the response is. Don't just start shoving your hands into people's personal space.


On the other hand, and in seriousness, maybe it demonstrates the lack of any value our society has for sex in general. The boundaries for how to get at a coy person aren't clear, and attempts to talk about it (like this book) are denounced for what seems to me very odd logic.
Having lines drawn, even by a douche bag and his sly book, is better than nothing, especially if we're talking about safety.

Would you prefer that the biological desire for sex were combined with a world where attempts to paint some explicit boundaries were suppressed like heresy?

That might be a recipe for a rapin'.

Until we live in a world where both genders participate equally in sexual encounters, then there will be a need for an analysis on the boundaries of the coy-er sex.
 
2013-06-19 10:46:53 PM  
Guys who say women reject nice guys like them and go after assholes seem to be the guys who only go after asshole women. "Well, I asked out every shallow cheerleader, snotty rich girl, and hot batshiat insane partygirl in school and they all rejected me. Women are all evil and terrible and only date jerks and jocks." Meanwhile there's probably some girl not up to his strict beauty standards who likes him but she's invisible to him.

If you biatch about getting used and friendzoned by the hot chick who keeps falling for jerks...surprise, you're just another person falling for a jerk because they're attractive.
 
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