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(Amazon)   Farker writes short collection of horror stories, then forgets about it for two years. No one has spent .99 cents on it yet. Can Fark help a brutha out?   (amazon.com) divider line 22
    More: Scary, Kindle, free trial, file sizes  
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431 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 19 Jun 2013 at 5:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



22 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-19 03:10:47 PM  
Suggestion: make a better cover.

I know, I know... it's shiatty. Unfortunately, people who buy Kindle stuff require a cover.

/this is meant in a friendly "hey, helping out" vibe, not a "dude, wtf? no cover? burn in hell!" vibe
//all for helping fellow authors
 
2013-06-19 03:40:43 PM  
Agree with the cover comment. Maybe find a picture that's in the public domain that has a nice, creepy vibe to it that matches your stories?

Also, the book description does not draw me in. It's been my experience that most authors can't really summarize their work because they are too close to it. Also, writing an ad requires a different skill set than writing a book. Get a friend who's good with jingles to read your book and write the description for you. Good luck!
 
2013-06-19 04:46:32 PM  
If you were to get out some sort of gigantic influences blender, you would see strains of Ray Bradbury, Clive Barker, Joe Lansdale, and even Robert Heinlein in these pages.

farm1.staticflickr.com

BLENDERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
 
2013-06-19 04:51:14 PM  

Relatively Obscure: If you were to get out some sort of gigantic influences blender, you would see strains of Ray Bradbury, Clive Barker, Joe Lansdale, and even Robert Heinlein in these pages.

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 320x240]

BLENDERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!


It would have to be a really big blender to fit in four people.
 
2013-06-19 05:13:42 PM  
Less than one cent? Sure.
 
2013-06-19 05:32:37 PM  
How 'bout if I just write you a kick arse review?

I don't have a Kindle...

and I don't read for fun.
 
2013-06-19 05:44:41 PM  
img.fark.net

Maybe scarfing down a bit of fish & chips?
 
2013-06-19 05:50:20 PM  

Arthur Jumbles: Get a friend who's good with jingles to read your book and write the description for you. Good luck!


♪♫ It's like nothing you've ever seen,
a little boy befriends a magic bean!

Got a pink cover and not too gory ...
Read "The Flesh-Eater, and Other Stores." ♪♫
 
2013-06-19 06:14:36 PM  
I don't think this is what subby meant by "help"

dude needs 99 cents not a bunch of whining!Thanks anyways though.  I don't have a kindle. Nor do I read anything that isn't in a fark comments thread.
 
2013-06-19 06:26:35 PM  

Arthur Jumbles: Agree with the cover comment. Maybe find a picture that's in the public domain that has a nice, creepy vibe to it that matches your stories?

Also, the book description does not draw me in. It's been my experience that most authors can't really summarize their work because they are too close to it. Also, writing an ad requires a different skill set than writing a book. Get a friend who's good with jingles to read your book and write the description for you. Good luck!


I bought it, and I'll write a review (don't get pissy if I think it sucks).  However, everyone is correct on the cover comment.  If you can do a corner-to-corner Photoshop gradient then you can either find a stock photo or create SOMETHING that will pass for cover art.  It does not have to be great - John Locke's 99 cent novels have proven that.

Worst case scenario, take a stock, public domain image and run it through enough filters to make it your own.  Voila!  New cover!

From this:

img.fark.net

I made you this:

img.fark.net

And I am a terrible Photoshop artist.  That only took me 90 seconds.  Imagine what you could do if you had minutes, talent, or knew what your book was about?
 
2013-06-19 06:29:19 PM  
Well i would if it were 95 cents or maybe even 97 but 99?

All you farking Farkers saying you don't have a Kindle can download the kindle app on any iphone or android product.

Well. I guess I am a sucker for talking magic beans.  I'll check it out.
 
2013-06-19 06:31:36 PM  
If you were to get out some sort of gigantic influences blender, you would see strains of Ray Bradbury, Clive Barker, Joe Lansdale, and even Robert Heinlein in these pages.

You have just inspired me to read a book by one of those authors, rather than invest in one of yours.   I would ditch that part.
 
2013-06-19 08:28:04 PM  
The Flesh Eater and other stories
Is full of bloody allegories
And just so this ditty
Would sound urbane and witty
We tossed in a couple of metaphories.

/no charge and no citation needed
/published under the Drunken Poet Free Use License
 
2013-06-19 11:00:30 PM  
"Glad this is finally out for the kindle! My paperback copy was ruined when I spilled Tuscan Whole Milk on it."
 
2013-06-20 02:24:48 AM  
I'm not a big horror fan and my queue is pretty long as is, so I won't be buying.  But I will offer one tip that might help:  do a free-for-a-week promotion to spike sales and see if that leads to some reviews.

Better yet, do a few free-for-a-weekend promotions in a row (my free 'sales' were higher on weekends when more people have time to browse).  Also, change your price to something higher (but not outrageous) first, so people thing they're getting a $3.99 book for free instead of saving less than a buck.

And perhaps look into those email services that tell everyone what books are free today.  Some ask you to let them know if you'd like your book included.

/okay, I'll stop now
//best of luck, though!
 
2013-06-20 03:19:19 AM  
NOTICE: What I'm about to post is in no way pimping my own stuff but to use as an example:

This is the cover I made for a short story I put up on Kindle:

img.fark.net

It is literally crap, albeit nice crap. 99¢ for around ten pages, which tells you how short the story is.

Know what? People have bought this thing since I put it up, worldwide, without letup, for over a year.

Because it had a cover. Not even a nice cover.

Same thing with this:

img.fark.net

Photo of a lawn ornament I used to have covered in snow, vignetted a little bit. Added a little text and boom... sales.

People with a Kindle want a cover. They find stuff by a cover. Someone upthread even said to use a public domain image... I encourage it. Take one, mess around with it in Photoshop, add the needed text and you're golden. Hell, if you have the funds buy a stock image; iStockPhoto has some fairly priced and awesome images for sale AND they have daily free images in both PNG and EPS format.

Use dafont.com to find public domain/royalty free fonts.

I also agree with removing the other author names. Comparing yourself to them, while legitimate, won't help in selling. People want your voice not an imitation of another. Let the reviewers do the "written like" stuff.

Here, I spent fifteen minutes in Photoshop and made these for you:

img.fark.net
img.fark.net

Each image should link to the high res version Kindle needs on my Google drive. They are set to share for link only so...

Use them if you wish. Free gift. The one with the forest is a public domain image from Wikimedia and you have to give credit (do it on your copyright page).

And hopefully Fark doesn't ruin all this HTML I did....
 
2013-06-20 11:24:19 AM  
Just curious, since I'm not an author, but do you get anything for Prime's "borrowed" plan?
I have a Prime membership and noticed this falls under that category.  I mean if it doesn't cost me anything AND you still see revenue from it, seems like win-win for everyone, right?

I'm sure my sentence structure is like nails on a chalkboard to most people.
 
2013-06-20 09:01:15 PM  

spidermann: [cover pics]

Use them if you wish. Free gift. The one with the forest is a public domain image from Wikimedia and you have to give credit (do it on your copyright page).


I'd totally buy either of those, nice work!

/ hell those are better than a ton of professional covers I've seen
// looking at you, shiatty covers on fantasy books
 
2013-06-20 09:24:33 PM  
Damn. I'm liking farkus more and more. It was nice of you experienced folks to help this guy out.

/+many
 
2013-06-20 09:37:28 PM  

Abner Doon: spidermann: [cover pics]

Use them if you wish. Free gift. The one with the forest is a public domain image from Wikimedia and you have to give credit (do it on your copyright page).

I'd totally buy either of those, nice work!

/ hell those are better than a ton of professional covers I've seen
// looking at you, shiatty covers on fantasy books



I like the minimalist approach. :) Always have. I find them striking when compared to most of the busy covers people use today.

WTFDYW: Damn. I'm liking farkus more and more. It was nice of you experienced folks to help this guy out.

/+many


I'm always up for helping out indie authors, especially on Fark.
 
2013-06-20 10:45:00 PM  
Will do.  But don't feel down about it, I only sold about twenty copies of my short horror story collection as well.  shiat happens, it's a learning experience and you figure out what you did wrong marketing it and then try again.  Because, fark it, why not.
 
2013-06-21 01:54:36 AM  

genepool lifeboat: Just curious, since I'm not an author, but do you get anything for Prime's "borrowed" plan?
I have a Prime membership and noticed this falls under that category.  I mean if it doesn't cost me anything AND you still see revenue from it, seems like win-win for everyone, right?

I'm sure my sentence structure is like nails on a chalkboard to most people.


If the book is enrolled in KDP they should, but you have to get a lot of lending to be able to get anything substantial.

In essence: yes we do but not as much as when a person buys it outright.
 
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