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(The Daily Caller)   Bret Michaels was "accidentally" fapping to Busty Cops 3 when he had his brain hemorrhage last year   (dailycaller.com) divider line 49
    More: Amusing, Bret Michaels, softcore, moral of the story, Conan O'Brien  
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6485 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Jun 2013 at 2:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-19 02:02:56 PM
Your mom told you that you would go blind.
 
2013-06-19 02:26:32 PM
"Busty Cops 3: To Protect and Serve" nearly killed Bret Michaels.

Nice try, Busty Cops 3.
 
2013-06-19 02:58:06 PM
His bandanna was too tight.
 
2013-06-19 03:01:28 PM

basemetal: Your mom told you that you would go blind.


That's because if you miss the kleenex you'll shoot your eye out
 
2013-06-19 03:01:46 PM

Zombie Eater: His bandanna was too tight.


It wasn't on his head at the time.
 
2013-06-19 03:04:11 PM
Does he have that rare thing where his capillary beds in his brain are cross-connected, leading to a weird septic hemmorage at high BP levels?
 
2013-06-19 03:14:06 PM
Glad to see he can laugh about it.  After seeing him when he won the Apprentice I have now moved him from probable douche to cool dude.

He just was enjoying an Unskinny Bop that's all
 
2013-06-19 03:15:45 PM
Lawsuit against Cinemax soon to follow.
 
2013-06-19 03:16:32 PM

Smeggy Smurf: basemetal: Your mom told you that you would go blind.

That's because if you miss the kleenex you'll shoot your eye out


That's why I always wear my safety glasses.
 
2013-06-19 03:20:57 PM
Busty Cops 3 had some pretty severe continuity issues.  Characters that appeared in Busty Cops and Busty Cops 2 just disappeared completely and a few that showed up seemed to be portrayed by completely different actors.

For example, Lieutentant Johnson and Captain Fister were jumping down each other's throats in the first two and all the sudden they're side by side in this one?  I don't get it at all...  Totally ruined it for me...
 
2013-06-19 03:32:25 PM
Mmm, yeah...that happens "accidentally" to me all the time.
 
2013-06-19 03:34:09 PM
Meet his new band...
 
2013-06-19 03:35:48 PM
Dammit - meet his new band...

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 03:48:21 PM
Better luck next time, porn.
 
2013-06-19 03:51:36 PM
cdn01.dailycaller.com

And I imagine this is face he was making when it happened.
 
2013-06-19 04:05:14 PM
There's no small measure of humor in that it's the Daily Caller breaking this hard-hitting and universally-applicable news story.

// truly, it is the blog of record
 
2013-06-19 04:10:02 PM
I think I'll view Busty Cops3 right now, just so I can tell all the honeys that I have more stamina than Bret Michaels
 
2013-06-19 04:15:57 PM
I'm pretty sure that's not "soft-core" film. And it's on a channel you probably HAVE to pay $20+ a month to get.
 
2013-06-19 04:27:55 PM
eww its softcore
 
2013-06-19 04:34:22 PM
Jesse Jane is in it!?!?! Sweet!

Oh it's softcore? LAME
 
2013-06-19 04:39:52 PM
Sounds like a cinematic masterpiece: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1507258/?ref_=sr_1
 
2013-06-19 04:50:10 PM

LucklessWonder: Sounds like a cinematic masterpiece: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1507258/?ref_=sr_1


Oh! It's a cinemax film. I was wondering how the hell you accidentally stumble onto a porno title on cable, since you'd have to pay for that. Cinemax... it all makes sense now.
 
2013-06-19 04:51:41 PM

cabbyman: Busty Cops 3 had some pretty severe continuity issues.  Characters that appeared in Busty Cops and Busty Cops 2 just disappeared completely and a few that showed up seemed to be portrayed by completely different actors.

For example, Lieutentant Johnson and Captain Fister were jumping down each other's throats in the first two and all the sudden they're side by side in this one?  I don't get it at all...  Totally ruined it for me...


You just don't understand the visionary genius of the director. He was weaving a compelling tale of growth amid repeating the same mistakes over and over set against the backdrop of the same environment as "Julius Caesar".

/ok, maybe that's not accurate
 
2013-06-19 04:54:28 PM

basemetal: Your mom told you that you would go blind.


My Dad told me that..I told him i'm over here ,Dad.
 
2013-06-19 04:58:46 PM

bloatboy: cabbyman: Busty Cops 3 had some pretty severe continuity issues.  Characters that appeared in Busty Cops and Busty Cops 2 just disappeared completely and a few that showed up seemed to be portrayed by completely different actors.

For example, Lieutentant Johnson and Captain Fister were jumping down each other's throats in the first two and all the sudden they're side by side in this one?  I don't get it at all...  Totally ruined it for me...

You just don't understand the visionary genius of the director. He was weaving a compelling tale of growth amid repeating the same mistakes over and over set against the backdrop of the same environment as "Julius Caesar".

/ok, maybe that's not accurate


3rd movie in the series is always the worst one
 
2013-06-19 05:08:43 PM
I couldn't find busty cops 3 on amazon, but bc2 is only $637 new or $72 used if you're a some loser that can only afford used stuff. It must be some kind of joke, the comments section have rave reviews.
Link
 
2013-06-19 05:11:41 PM
yeah he was talking about it on Conan the other day, says he was flipping channels during a commercial break on some show and stopped to watch the porn for a few mins when his head felt like it blew up. Says he was embarrassed as hell because he knew the porn was still on when the paramedics showed up and how it must have looked
 
2013-06-19 05:14:15 PM

Sybarite: "Busty Cops 3: To Protect and Serve" nearly killed Bret Michaels.

Nice try, Busty Cops 3.


I'm not usually one to jump to "this has to be a paid product placement" but... this has to be a paid product placement.
 
2013-06-19 05:28:17 PM
www.therichest.org
 
2013-06-19 05:39:07 PM
What three busty cops might look like:

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 05:46:02 PM
So just for the faphell of it I google Busty Cops 3.  The Fark thread is the number two hit on the first page.
 
2013-06-19 05:52:26 PM
Did he accidentally the whole thing?
 
2013-06-19 05:53:39 PM
So what was he trying to do, cum and go at the same time?

And you have to wonder how many guys last words were "I'm Cunning" not that, that is a bad way to go...
 
2013-06-19 06:01:56 PM
And policewoman....talk dirty to me!
 
2013-06-19 06:03:05 PM

Sybarite: "Busty Cops 3: To Protect and Serve" nearly killed Bret Michaels.

Nice try, Busty Cops 3.


Here's to hoping that Busty Cops 4 has more firepower. Maybe they can get trained by the LAPD? I'm kidding, of course. I don't necessarily wish death upon Bret Michaels, I'd just like for him to shut up and go away. Perhaps he could be convinced to replace his porn viewing habit with Alex Jones. Long-term exposure would have an equal chance for resulting in either brain death or him hiding in a bunker. On the other hand, I'd be fine with him sticking around if every time he made the news it was due to something like this.
 
2013-06-19 06:03:15 PM
Hey, Hannah Harper was in that movie.  This is now relevant to my interests.
 
2013-06-19 06:19:11 PM
My local radio show Todd-N-Tyler talk to him fairly often because one of the guys went to high school with him. Dude seems pretty cool
 
2013-06-19 06:25:38 PM
I'm citing this thread for a violation of Section 34F, Subsection 20, Paragraph 34: Lack of Pics.

img.fark.net

Assume the position.
 
2013-06-19 06:53:00 PM
Must've been some porn...
 
2013-06-19 06:55:20 PM

Digitalstrange: yeah he was talking about it on Conan the other day, says he was flipping channels during a commercial break on some show and stopped to watch the porn for a few mins when his head felt like it blew up. Says he was embarrassed as hell because he knew the porn was still on when the paramedics showed up and how it must have looked




iMasturbate by Apple.
 
2013-06-19 07:31:32 PM
img.fark.net not too busty
 
2013-06-19 07:31:49 PM

Digitalstrange: yeah he was talking about it on Conan the other day, says he was flipping channels during a commercial break on some show and stopped to watch the porn for a few mins when his head felt like it blew up. Says he was embarrassed as hell because he knew the porn was still on when the paramedics showed up and how it must have looked


It could have been more embarrassing if something like The 700 Club or one of those penis pill infomercials were on when the paramedics arrived.
 
2013-06-19 07:39:07 PM
Is this the good stuff? Is this the stuff rock stars jack off to?
 
2013-06-19 08:07:24 PM
Oh how the mighty have fallen.  Back in the 1980s this guy was banging gorgeous groupies after every Poison show.  Now he's jackin' off to softcore porn on cable.
 
2013-06-19 08:12:10 PM
That series went downhill after Busty Cops 2. -_-
 
2013-06-19 10:32:53 PM

basemetal: Your mom told you that you would go blind.


Strike, stroke, struck.

The Circle of Jerk.
 
2013-06-20 04:15:45 AM

Sybarite: "Busty Cops 3: To Protect and Serve" nearly killed Bret Michaels.

Nice try, Busty Cops 3.


You'll get him next time!
 
2013-06-20 08:53:01 AM
This is really old news. He announced this shortly after he regained his speech. I'd find a link, but I am currently in court.
 
2013-06-20 09:15:24 AM

FunkOut: Zombie Eater: His bandanna was too tight.

It wasn't on his head at the time.


i96.photobucket.com
 
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