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(Dangerous Minds)   Orson Welles unplugged: dishing dirt on Katharine Hepburn being farked by Howard Hughes, Woody Allen having the "Chaplin disease" and other Hollywood tales   (dangerousminds.net) divider line 64
    More: Amusing, Audrey Hepburn, Howard Hughes, Woody Allen, Orson Welles, Hollywood, Farked, Peter Biskind, Bette Davis  
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6498 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Jun 2013 at 1:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-19 01:40:39 PM
I believe the most important question about these conversations with Welles are:

Will there be any mention of green pea-ness?

Did he have a french fry in his beard?

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 01:58:22 PM
Interesting that Citizen Kane actually predicted Welles' last years rather than those of William Randolph Hearst.
 
2013-06-19 01:58:36 PM

FirstNationalBastard: I believe the most important question about these conversations with Welles are:

Will there be any mention of green pea-ness?

Did he have a french fry in his beard?

[img.fark.net image 480x360]


Yes. Always.
 
2013-06-19 01:58:52 PM
The gonk. Warning: direct link to MP3
 
2013-06-19 02:00:21 PM
I'm surpised the making of Casino Royale didn't lead to suicides and/or mental breakdowns on the part of the crew.  Not only did Welles hate Woody Allen (can't remember if they were even in the same country together at any time during filming) but he so loathed Peter Sellars (or was so afraid of being upstaged) that he refused to shoot their scenes together.  Instead, they filmed Welles' side in one location and Sellars' months later.
 
2013-06-19 02:01:38 PM
23 skidoo!
 
2013-06-19 02:02:36 PM

FirstNationalBastard: I believe the most important question about these conversations with Welles are:

Will there be any mention of green pea-ness?

Did he have a french fry in his beard?

[img.fark.net image 480x360]


I just saw this clip for the first time about a month ago - not a day goes by I don't reference it to my brother (who showed it to me).

// people realize that's based on a true story - the time Welles got frustrated with the direction during recording of a frozen-pea commercial
// "If you can explain to me how to begin a grammatically-correct sentence with 'In July', I'll go down on you" - best rant EVAR
 
2013-06-19 02:03:47 PM
Grace Kelly also slept around, in the dressing room when nobody was looking

I am jealous of that dressing room.
 
2013-06-19 02:05:00 PM
Might have been a best seller....had it been written 30 years ago or so.  Are there really that many people around today who don't know or still care that Orson Welles was catty little biatch?
 
2013-06-19 02:05:20 PM
Having been deployed to Bosnia I have to disagree with him on neck length.

/Camp Alicia, and Angela
 
2013-06-19 02:08:47 PM

chevydeuce: Might have been a best seller....had it been written 30 years ago or so.  Are there really that many people around today who don't know or still care that Orson Welles was catty little biatch?


I have a feeling it will do pretty well today.  Yes, we know Welles could be biatchy, but it looks like this captures it in a depth and detail heretofore unseen outside of those who knew him.

Also, Peter Biskind put it together, and he's one of the best writers on film (not critic but historian) working today.
 
2013-06-19 02:09:08 PM

show me: The gonk. Warning: direct link to MP3


Jesus... what is a "gonk"?

Can I see Mrs. Rodgers for a minute, please?
 
2013-06-19 02:10:16 PM
See, I believe that it is not true that different races and nations are alike. I'm profoundly convinced that that's a total lie. I think people are different. Sardinians, for example, have stubby little fingers. Bosnians have short necks.
Henry Jaglom: Orson, that's ridiculous.
Orson Welles
: Measure them. Measure them!


Wow.
 
2013-06-19 02:14:16 PM
Can't think about Orson Welles without:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlXEC8kcbqc
 
2013-06-19 02:16:10 PM
He sounds fat.
 
2013-06-19 02:25:55 PM

Dwight_Yeast: Not only did Welles hate Woody Allen (can't remember if they were even in the same country together at any time during filming) but he so loathed Peter Sellars (or was so afraid of being upstaged) that he refused to shoot their scenes together.  Instead, they filmed Welles' side in one location and Sellars' months later.


i believe that was at sellers' behest. he was so intimidated by welles, that he refused to act next to him. at least according to the sellers biography i read a while back.
 
2013-06-19 02:31:34 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Jesus... what is a "gonk"?


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-06-19 02:39:26 PM
My parents find this article timely and relevant.

In the afterlife, cuz they're long dead....
 
2013-06-19 02:43:13 PM
Katherine Hepburn swearing like a sailor? I have the weirdest boner right now.
 
2013-06-19 02:44:46 PM

bingethinker: Katherine Hepburn swearing like a sailor? I have the weirdest boner right now.


That's almost expected.

Now, Audrey Hepburn swearing like a sailor would be hot.
 
2013-06-19 02:54:17 PM

Flappyhead: See, I believe that it is not true that different races and nations are alike. I'm profoundly convinced that that's a total lie. I think people are different. Sardinians, for example, have stubby little fingers. Bosnians have short necks.
Henry Jaglom: Orson, that's ridiculous.
Orson Welles: Measure them. Measure them!

Wow.


That stuck out to me as well.
I gotta love a guy who'll flat out call Orson Welles ridiculous.
 
2013-06-19 02:55:27 PM

FirstNationalBastard: bingethinker: Katherine Hepburn swearing like a sailor? I have the weirdest boner right now.

That's almost expected.

Now, Audrey Hepburn swearing like a sailor would be hot.


I just saw Roman Holiday for the first time a couple of weeks ago.  What an outstanding movie.
 
2013-06-19 02:56:02 PM

Snapper Carr: FirstNationalBastard: I believe the most important question about these conversations with Welles are:

Will there be any mention of green pea-ness?

Did he have a french fry in his beard?

[img.fark.net image 480x360]

Yes. Always.


Sensibly priced at a dollar a jug.
 
2013-06-19 02:56:39 PM

barneyfifesbullet: Grace Kelly also slept around, in the dressing room when nobody was looking

I am jealous of that dressing room.


Somebody asked Joan Crawford if she thought Grace was a nymphomaniac, and Crawford replied 'maybe if she slowed down a bit'.
 
2013-06-19 02:59:34 PM

Dwight_Yeast: I'm surpised the making of Casino Royale didn't lead to suicides and/or mental breakdowns on the part of the crew.  Not only did Welles hate Woody Allen (can't remember if they were even in the same country together at any time during filming) but he so loathed Peter Sellars (or was so afraid of being upstaged) that he refused to shoot their scenes together.  Instead, they filmed Welles' side in one location and Sellars' months later.


The neuroses combined could have cracked a continent in half.

Orson Welles was a crazy bastard.
 
2013-06-19 03:00:04 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Now, Audrey Hepburn swearing like a sailor would be hot


Glad to know I wasn't the only one here with a weird boner right now.
 
2013-06-19 03:03:41 PM
My mind reels at the idea of having sex with Grace Kelly.  It's like touching the face of God, becoming immortal, or visiting another solar system.  So unreal, so unattainable, so impossible, yet there were people who did so!

www.gonemovies.com
 
2013-06-19 03:06:56 PM

Dwight_Yeast: I'm surpised the making of Casino Royale didn't lead to suicides and/or mental breakdowns on the part of the crew.  Not only did Welles hate Woody Allen (can't remember if they were even in the same country together at any time during filming) but he so loathed Peter Sellars (or was so afraid of being upstaged) that he refused to shoot their scenes together.  Instead, they filmed Welles' side in one location and Sellars' months later.


I don't know why he was so paranoid.  Sellers was the famous one, not Sellars.
 
2013-06-19 03:11:03 PM
Welles would love this thread.  He was in favor of speaking ill of the dead.
 
2013-06-19 03:16:34 PM

TimSTP: My mind reels at the idea of having sex with Grace Kelly.  It's like touching the face of God, becoming immortal, or visiting another solar system.  So unreal, so unattainable, so impossible, yet there were people who did so!


Lots and lots of them. See also: Vivian Leigh.
 
2013-06-19 03:23:24 PM

MFAWG: Lots and lots of them. See also: Vivian Leigh.


As well as Ava Gardner, Rita Hayworth, Lana Turner and Mary Astor.
 
2013-06-19 03:25:34 PM
Was Katharine Hepburn EVER attractive? She always looked like an old woman even when young.
 
2013-06-19 03:30:36 PM

chevydeuce: Might have been a best seller....had it been written 30 years ago or so.  Are there really that many people around today who don't know or still care that Orson Welles was catty little biatch?


They should stop writing about that hack Van Gogh, too. Amirite?
 
2013-06-19 03:47:18 PM

MisatoNERV: Was Katharine Hepburn EVER attractive? She always looked like an old woman even when young.


Try "Bringing Up Baby" or "The African Queen".
 
2013-06-19 03:50:51 PM

MisatoNERV: Was Katharine Hepburn EVER attractive? She always looked like an old woman even when young.


Umm, all the time?
 
2013-06-19 03:53:37 PM

TimSTP: My mind reels at the idea of having sex with Grace Kelly.  It's like touching the face of God, becoming immortal, or visiting another solar system all over her face, neck and chest



/finished that for you
 
2013-06-19 04:02:22 PM

MFAWG: barneyfifesbullet: Grace Kelly also slept around, in the dressing room when nobody was looking

I am jealous of that dressing room.

Somebody asked Joan Crawford if she thought Grace was a nymphomaniac, and Crawford replied 'maybe if she slowed down a bit'.


Hey, she was just a Catholic schoolgirl from Philly.
 
2013-06-19 04:03:41 PM

gshepnyc: chevydeuce: Might have been a best seller....had it been written 30 years ago or so.  Are there really that many people around today who don't know or still care that Orson Welles was catty little biatch?

They should stop writing about that hack Van Gogh, too. Amirite?


One can appreciate Van Gogh's works long after he died, same as one can appreciate Welles' talent in movies....That doesn't mean one needs to hear about Welles being a prissy gossip monger 40 years ago.  If the rest of the book is comparable to the excerpts, it's National Enquirer-esque material at best.
 
2013-06-19 04:14:47 PM

FunkOut: Orson Welles was a crazy bastard.


Understatement of the century
 
2013-06-19 04:26:42 PM
Some time ago I read an autobiography from one of Kate Hepburn's close friends who "summered" with her, etc. Amazing what Hollywood kept quiet back in the day.
 
2013-06-19 04:31:52 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: FunkOut: Orson Welles was a crazy bastard.

Understatement of the century


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 04:34:29 PM

exvaxman: Some time ago I read an autobiography from one of Kate Hepburn's close friends who "summered" with her, etc. Amazing what Hollywood kept quiet back in the day.


So Kate was more Lindsay Lohan than we thought?
 
2013-06-19 04:36:26 PM

TimSTP: unattainable


Hardly. Woman had more dicks in her than a convention for guys named Richard Johnson.
 
2013-06-19 04:38:59 PM

robohobo: TimSTP: unattainable

Hardly. Woman had more dicks in her than a convention for guys named Richard Johnson.


More sausage ran through that shame cave then at a Jimmy Dean plant
 
2013-06-19 04:42:18 PM
Favorite quote from him:

"I too had political ambitions, particularly back in the FDR days. I used to help him with speeches and I like to think I was useful to him. I know he thought I should have a serious go at politics some day. Well, some day came. They wanted me to run for the Senate in my home state of Wisconsin, against Joe McCarthy. I could never win because I was an actor-hence, frivolous. And divorced-hence, immoral. And now Ronnie Reagan, who is both, is president."

Orson Welles, 1982
 
2013-06-19 04:52:50 PM
He has the Chaplin disease. That particular combination of arrogance and timidity

I always thought the Chaplin disease was an overwhelming urge to cut the ends off of mustaches.
 
2013-06-19 04:57:01 PM
It sounds crass, petty, and incredibly vile.

*quietly adds to Amazon wishlist.
 
2013-06-19 05:27:40 PM
I can't think of anyone today who could still talk about getting farked by another star as big has Hughes, and still maintain that high a level of class.

I fantasize about her telling me "Don't be such a stupid prick and come over here and kiss me!"

Then maybe she'd call me darling.

And screw Audrey.  Katharine was the shiat.

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 05:45:44 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: Flappyhead: See, I believe that it is not true that different races and nations are alike. I'm profoundly convinced that that's a total lie. I think people are different. Sardinians, for example, have stubby little fingers. Bosnians have short necks.
Henry Jaglom: Orson, that's ridiculous.
Orson Welles: Measure them. Measure them!

Wow.

That stuck out to me as well.
I gotta love a guy who'll flat out call Orson Welles ridiculous.


When he said crazy shiat like the best response.  Now this on the other hand:

Orson Welles: I don't like Wolfgang. He's a little shiat. I think he's a terrible little man.

Reassures me, as that's always been my opinion of Wolfgang Puck.
 
2013-06-19 06:19:41 PM

Dwight_Yeast: chevydeuce: Might have been a best seller....had it been written 30 years ago or so.  Are there really that many people around today who don't know or still care that Orson Welles was catty little biatch?

I have a feeling it will do pretty well today.  Yes, we know Welles could be biatchy, but it looks like this captures it in a depth and detail heretofore unseen outside of those who knew him.

Also, Peter Biskind put it together, and he's one of the best writers on film (not critic but historian) working today.


This should be one hell of an amusing read. I've always been an admirer of Welles. One of the Encore channels has been playing "Me and Orson Welles" (2008) every now and then for the last month or so. If you get the chance you should check it out. Christian McKay is really amazing as a young Welles. it's set during the Mercury Theatre's 1937 modernized production of Julius Caesar. The supporting cast is excellent, especially James Tupper as Joseph Cotton (Tupper really nails him).
 
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