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(BBC)   British report recommends bankers go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 (million)   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 86
    More: Hero, Legal liability, sex ratio, Ed Balls, Orient Express, standards, Libor  
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8676 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2013 at 3:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 10:51:27 PM
Wow!  That is one awesome report.  Too bad we can't do something like that here.

I especially love the part that there are no such things as bonuses based on how you did last quarter but how you did 10 years ago.
 
2013-06-18 11:01:55 PM
Nothing will come of this.
 
2013-06-18 11:52:22 PM
"Hero" tag? Really?
 
2013-06-18 11:56:50 PM
i369.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-19 12:03:28 AM
^

Again.
 
2013-06-19 12:04:02 AM
Hahahaha... those whom control the money control the laws they break.

Better luck next time.

Choose a battle you can win.
 
2013-06-19 12:04:34 AM
Jump you f*ckers
 
2013-06-19 12:22:04 AM
Wake me up when someone of note's actually IN a jail.
 
2013-06-19 12:27:15 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Nothing will come of this.


I'd wager $200,000,000 that you're right.
 
2013-06-19 12:28:04 AM
Silly Brits. Laws are for plebs.
 
2013-06-19 12:28:21 AM

BizarreMan: Wow! That is one awesome report. Too bad we can't do something like that here.


we've had all sorts of awesome reports recommending criminal offenses for specific bankers.  reports are the easy part.
 
2013-06-19 12:32:51 AM

SilentStrider: ecmoRandomNumbers: Nothing will come of this.

I'd wager $200,000,000 that you're right.


Hey, I have an idea. First, I quickly form a corporation and then take that bet. Boom, I lose. Now you've got a marker that you will never collect on, but it's worth 200,000,000. So here's the genius part. I make a couple payments on paper only - I pay you 50 mil, you loan me 80 more because now you know my credit's good... and then we take the whole kit and kaboodle and sell the whole thing to a banker for 50¢ on the dollar. My corporation declares bankruptcy, you shake your head sadly and say "bummer about the bad investment" AS you hire me on and give me half of what we cleared as a "signing bonus" and then we both walk away with 100,000,000. What do you think?
 
2013-06-19 12:50:45 AM

unlikely: Silly Brits. Laws are for plebs.


The proper course of action is to apologize for questioning their actions and ensure they can repatriate their off-shore accounts tax free.
 
2013-06-19 12:56:10 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Nothing will come of this.


Exactly.
 
2013-06-19 01:25:24 AM
They mis-spelled "guillotine"

(jail, guillotine; nether will ever happen so we might as well fantasize big.)
 
2013-06-19 02:29:54 AM

Therion: They mis-spelled "guillotine"

(jail, guillotine; nether will ever happen so we might as well fantasize big.)


I've taken up knitting and drinking wine, waiting for the day when I'll be needed.
 
2013-06-19 03:19:40 AM
£- me-in-the-ass prison?
 
2013-06-19 03:26:47 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Nothing will come of this.


Sadly, this.

I would love to be wrong about it, but I'm not holding my breath.
 
2013-06-19 03:28:42 AM
On the recommendation of deferring bonuses for up to 10 years, former RBS chairman and chief executive Sir George Mathewson told the BBC: "I find that a little strange. If you are going to have bonuses, they are to incentivise behaviours. Ten years out is not an easy way to imagine incentivisation occurring."

Maybe he is right. It is hard to incentivise people 10 years down the road. But on the other hand it might stop bankers from boosting short term profit vs considerable long term risk. If (a )specific policy/policies can be shown to be responsible for downsizing or loss even a few years down the road, why not revoke the bonus that was assigned based on those/that policy/policies?

Also stop bonuses on profit increases due to downsizing.
 
2013-06-19 03:29:27 AM
You're all idiots.  This is how the free market works.  If you put your life savings in a bank, and then the bank steals your money, whose fault is that?  Yours.  You put your money in the hands of a shady lender.  You probably did not even look at how many twirls were in his mustache.  That is your loss and his gain.  You will not make the same mistake in the future, and this will make you a more informed citizen.
 
2013-06-19 03:30:57 AM

Relatively Obscure: Wake me up when someone of note's actually IN a jail body-bag.


FTFU
 
2013-06-19 03:32:06 AM
"Too many bankers, especially at the most senior levels, have operated in an environment with insufficient personal responsibility," the report says.

THIS
 
2013-06-19 03:38:15 AM
Hilarious
 
2013-06-19 03:39:05 AM
Even Worse than The Dr. Gillespie Killing?

content8.flixster.com
 
2013-06-19 03:42:14 AM

NewportBarGuy: Hahahaha... those whom control the money control the laws they break.

Better luck next time.

Choose a battle you can win.


Oh, they can win it... just like the French Revolution won against the Bourbons, or the Bolshevik Revolution against the Tsars.

/the question is, are they really willing to pay the price?
//the answer is no, but fortunately for the left, the Brits no longer really understand what the price will be, and would refuse to believe it if anyone told them
///so the disintegration continues, all according to plan
 
2013-06-19 03:44:18 AM
That's an impressive report recommending the complete ruin of the British economy.

Revenge is no way to govern. Hopefully cooler heads prevail.
 
2013-06-19 03:45:16 AM
In 200 years, national archivists will find the last mouldering copy of this report behind a basement filing cabinet and ask,

"What was that all about?"
 
2013-06-19 03:45:22 AM

Relatively Obscure: Wake me up when someone of note's actually IN a jail.


^^^^^ this, right there
 
2013-06-19 03:45:47 AM

basemetal:


This, party like its 1794
 
2013-06-19 03:58:15 AM
So they'll pay $50 and they're free?
 
2013-06-19 04:02:30 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: That's an impressive report recommending the complete ruin of the British economy.


This is just beautiful.
 
2013-06-19 04:21:59 AM
When the arrogant wankers you kicked to the curb to start your incorrupt, free country start going after corruption in a way that makes you say "Gee, why can't we do that?", your incorrupt, free country has jumped the shark.
 
2013-06-19 04:48:55 AM
Bankers go where?

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 04:54:46 AM
Face it, the governments of the UK, the US and pretty much every other western nation are the banks' biatches.
 
2013-06-19 05:04:02 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Nothing will come of this.


Of course not. It's a silly, unrealistic, and pointless finger pointing exercise.

Particularly comical are the recommendations to foster competition among banks by making it easier to move bank accounts (how hard is it now?, and anyway it seems making it somehow easier will increase the chances of bank runs, not decreasing it), and the recommendation to report gender ratios of the trading floor. Who farking cares?

Anyway, straight to the circular file with this one, and rightfully so.
 
2013-06-19 05:07:14 AM

Drunk Astronaut: Face it, the governments of the UK, the US and pretty much every other western nation are the banks' biatches.


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-19 05:07:59 AM

unlikely: SilentStrider: ecmoRandomNumbers: Nothing will come of this.

I'd wager $200,000,000 that you're right.

Hey, I have an idea. First, I quickly form a corporation and then take that bet. Boom, I lose. Now you've got a marker that you will never collect on, but it's worth 200,000,000. So here's the genius part. I make a couple payments on paper only - I pay you 50 mil, you loan me 80 more because now you know my credit's good... and then we take the whole kit and kaboodle and sell the whole thing to a banker for 50¢ on the dollar. My corporation declares bankruptcy, you shake your head sadly and say "bummer about the bad investment" AS you hire me on and give me half of what we cleared as a "signing bonus" and then we both walk away with 100,000,000. What do you think?


^This happened.
 
2013-06-19 05:40:58 AM

Tatterdemalian: Oh, they can win it... just like the French Revolution won against the Bourbons, or the Bolshevik Revolution against the Tsars.


yeah, and then get a Napoleon or a Stalin.
Now, thing did actually get better for the peoples, not that stalinist Russia or napoleonic France was a paradise, but it was just so much worse before. I'm just not willing to die for a slight improvment, as long as I'm not starving..
 
2013-06-19 06:09:41 AM
White collar criminals
Where there is no crime...or justice.
 
2013-06-19 06:09:58 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: That's an impressive report recommending the complete ruin of the British economy.

Revenge is no way to govern. Hopefully cooler heads prevail.


You sound like a banker.

Let's get him!!!!
 
2013-06-19 06:38:18 AM

thomps: BizarreMan: Wow! That is one awesome report. Too bad we can't do something like that here.

we've had all sorts of awesome reports recommending criminal offenses for specific bankers.  reports are the easy part.


I think they come up with criminal offenses just fine.  The problem we have is in the capture, trial and punishment there for.
 
2013-06-19 06:41:21 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jump you f*ckers


you know.... every single time I see this phrase, I sing it in tube with this song: Breathe [Would not play this at work]

You will understand why that phrase fits perfectly in tune at around 2min 26sec in to the song.
 
2013-06-19 06:41:43 AM

Lenny_da_Hog: £- me-in-the-ass prison?


+1
 
2013-06-19 06:44:56 AM

unlikely: SilentStrider: ecmoRandomNumbers: Nothing will come of this.

I'd wager $200,000,000 that you're right.

Hey, I have an idea. First, I quickly form a corporation and then take that bet. Boom, I lose. Now you've got a marker that you will never collect on, but it's worth 200,000,000. So here's the genius part. I make a couple payments on paper only - I pay you 50 mil, you loan me 80 more because now you know my credit's good... and then we take the whole kit and kaboodle and sell the whole thing to a banker for 50¢ on the dollar. My corporation declares bankruptcy, you shake your head sadly and say "bummer about the bad investment" AS you hire me on and give me half of what we cleared as a "signing bonus" and then we both walk away with 100,000,000. What do you think?


As a ratings agency, I must frown on your illegal shenanigans.

Unless you pay our ratings fee, in which case, AAA credit ratings for parties and counter-parties.
 
2013-06-19 06:45:04 AM
Ok this is it.  I can feel it this time.  This is the time when those people who are obscenely rich and powerful are finally going to be brought to justice.  I'm taking my big deep breath now and I'm not letting it out until the sentence is delivered.


/oh wait, it's the same old justice system?  fark it.
 
2013-06-19 07:27:41 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: That's an impressive report recommending the complete ruin of the British economy.

Revenge is no way to govern. Hopefully cooler heads prevail.


============

Yeah, because the bankers and Wall St provide us with such a fantastic economy.
 
2013-06-19 07:32:11 AM
I don't normally agree with mob justice, but in the bankers' collective case I'll make an exception.
 
2013-06-19 07:54:57 AM
Annnnnnd this also includes elements of corporate banking reform that I've been advocating in high school.

Stock related and deferred compensation is ten years out and tied to the health of the company and any illegal acts you do.  Right now there's no punishment for shenanigans and ZERO interest in these assholes to protect the long term health of the company.  Everything is geared towards short term looting for corporate assets.
 
2013-06-19 07:55:54 AM
WOW! A REPORT!!!!!!


Wake me up when someone decides to write a sternly worded letter.
 
2013-06-19 07:58:46 AM
Is anyone dead yet? Then why should we care?
 
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