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(Topless Robot)   Ten ways to make a Dungeons & Dragons movie not suck. Missing from the list: not making a Dungeons & Dragons movie   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 21
    More: Fail, Dungeons & Dragons, Wizards of the Coast, Gary Gygax, Sweet Pea Entertainment, Roy Lee, fantasy worlds, Wrath of the Titans, Red Riding Hood  
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3562 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Jun 2013 at 11:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 11:26:37 PM
4 votes:
Okay, I've got it. The company that owns the rights to the D&D movie gets bought out by a bigger movie studio. That studio immediately rushes a third D&D movie into development, but doesn't really bother to screen-test it that much. After the ticket sales, merchandising, home video, streaming, and all the other money they can get, they don't feel like the movie made enough money. So they release the  exact same movie with maybe like one or two inconsequentially changed scenes. They release it as "D&D 3.5" and watch fanboys spend all their money on the exact same content all over again. That's another round of ticket sales, merchandise, home video, streaming, etc. And if anyone points out it's pretty much the exact same thing with a few minor farking changes, or how the studio is  double-dipping to separate suckers from their money, the fanboys go into a frothing rage about how those changes were totally necessary.

A few years later, the studio realizes it's time to milk their cash cow again. So they make a fourth movie. People start to complain the plot seems eerily similar to "World of Warcraft," and it doesn't feel the same. A large amount of people go off and watch this new movie "Pathfinder" instead. Some decide they're sort of done with that entire style of film, and they go off and watch "Savage Worlds" or "GURPS" instead.

But nah. Something like that would never happen.
2013-06-18 10:36:54 PM
3 votes:
The Gamers II: Dorkness Rising already exists.
2013-06-18 08:31:32 PM
3 votes:
There are ten really great ideas for not making a shiatty D&D movie in that link, but I think Subby's idea remains the best.  I love D&D but I do not think for a second Hollywood can resist making a cheesy, shlocky 3D shiatfest out of the material.

Leave it on the table and off the screen.

For Gary.

And maybe Dave.
2013-06-19 06:39:18 AM
2 votes:
Do not make a movie...make a TV series.

Make a set of 6 characters...write for them.
Roll out their chances for the scene...write for that scene.

See out the series plays out.
People will keep watching to see what happens next.

Producers...yes, main characters CAN die.
What a way to keep your actors from getting too much pay.  (and create the shock effect that's working for GOT)
2013-06-19 02:02:32 AM
2 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com

Make this instead.
2013-06-19 01:23:22 AM
2 votes:
1. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
2. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
3. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
4. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
5. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
6. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
7. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors

8. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
9. Hire Talented Screenwriters and Directors
10. Hire talented actors.
2013-06-18 11:35:22 PM
2 votes:
Fantasy movies and TV shows have had a good run -- LOTR, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones -- but I don't think that a D&D branded movie will work at all.  You could do a Dragonlance or Forgotten Realms branded movie, maybe, but not anything that's strictly D&D.

The biggest key in all of that, though, was #2.  The reason the Marvel movies work and shiat like Green Lantern didn't work is because they actually put money into real movie-making talent.  A good script, a good director, a good producer, and good actors make a good movie, regardless of genre.
2013-06-19 01:18:49 PM
1 votes:
forget D&D - what we really need is a big budget Knights Of The Dinner Table movie.
2013-06-19 08:44:54 AM
1 votes:
Gord the Rogue or..

img.fark.net

Stop wasting time, you farkers.
2013-06-19 03:43:52 AM
1 votes:
It was among the first cartoons I shared with my now 5 year-old twin daughters "History" and "Mystery."

I wish that had been the first sentence -- then I wouldn't have bothered to read any more.

How am I supposed to take seriously a man who names his children "History" and "Mystery"?
2013-06-19 02:38:23 AM
1 votes:
How about NOT having a token funny black guy?
2013-06-19 02:01:09 AM
1 votes:
This thread is now rated G.
2013-06-19 01:38:18 AM
1 votes:
It's been done. It's called Record of Lodoss Wars, an anime based on an RPG campaign..
2013-06-18 11:59:45 PM
1 votes:
It's funny.
Dragonlance (at least the 1st 3 books) would make a pretty good film.

Basic enough plot. Nice cast of characters.

Of course, that will be the one thing they don't do because.  Hollywood.
2013-06-18 11:47:37 PM
1 votes:

Forbidden Doughnut: meanmutton: Fantasy movies and TV shows have had a good run -- LOTR, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones -- but I don't think that a D&D branded movie will work at all. You could do a Dragonlance or Forgotten Realms branded movie, maybe, but not anything that's strictly D&D.

I'd watch a big-screen adaptation of "The Order of the Stick", but if they portray Belkar (Or Sabine) accurately, it would probably definitely earn at least an "R" rating ( which is box-office poison these days, at least in the US )


FFTY
2013-06-18 11:41:47 PM
1 votes:

meanmutton: Fantasy movies and TV shows have had a good run -- LOTR, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones -- but I don't think that a D&D branded movie will work at all. You could do a Dragonlance or Forgotten Realms branded movie, maybe, but not anything that's strictly D&D.


I'd watch a big-screen adaptation of "The Order of the Stick", but if they portray Belkar accurately, it would probably earn an "R" rating ( which is box-office poison these days, at least in the US )
2013-06-18 11:36:00 PM
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Just make "I, Strahd" into a movie. Or any of the Ravensloft , except the Enemy Within that one is just a mess.


Nah, I Strahd was pretty much Dracula from Dracula's point of view. I wouldn't object to a Knight of the Black Rose movie if it was done right.
2013-06-18 10:30:45 PM
1 votes:
Needs more Donny Most
2013-06-18 09:42:58 PM
1 votes:
There are tons of movies that just might be a D&D film or at least a D&D related film.

img.fark.net starsmedia.ign.com
2013-06-18 09:40:36 PM
1 votes:
Eh... all it's going to be is another fantasy movie. Sure, plenty of us geeks will immediately know the "rules" dictating things in the setting (IE - number of spells per day, why that granola-lookin' guy has a menagerie of animals), but it won't be anything unique unless it draws from modules or prior fiction.
2013-06-18 08:49:23 PM
1 votes:
for the record, I think a Keep on the Borderlands slaughterfest would be awesome.   play it off like 'the hills have eyes' and toss in some torture porn shots with hot elf chicks nearly getting raped by orcs and you've got yourself a sure fire money maker.
 
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