If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Above the Law)   Epic response to letter full of legalese from lawyer who's apparently sick of this shiat   (abovethelaw.com) divider line 172
    More: Amusing, Latin phrases, SAT Scores, town council, injunctions  
•       •       •

36937 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2013 at 4:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



172 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-18 11:52:03 PM
Bahahaha.
 
2013-06-18 11:54:08 PM

pute kisses like a man: and if there is a person who could not make sense of the first letter, then you've found a person who cannot readcomprehend.


FTFY
 
2013-06-18 11:56:52 PM
Better call Saul.
 
2013-06-19 12:00:06 AM

Voiceofreason01: The cease and desist letter was in pretty plain language. Domain camping isn't cool.

/this Freivald guy sounds like an asshole.


This.
 
2013-06-19 12:03:43 AM

4tehsnowflakes: Gabrielmot: It sounds (to me) like he's implying in the P.P.S. that someone is already doing this, and that his claim for "excess property taxes" from the P.S. would be valid if this was brought to light for the public. Actually sounds like a veiled threat.

-I think we may have found one of the last lawyers in the states with balls.

Yes, he has balls and yes he is making a threat in the PPS.  He is alleging that the current administration did a sweetheart deal to line someone's pockets on the official website design and maintenance.

However, the threat to harass the township with an unrelated claim over the valuation of his personal property for tax purposes is out of place and inappropriate.  It has nothing to do with the case.  And the threat to expose corruption does not belong here either.  If you piss off the judge you do a disservice to the client.

And to those imagining that the lawyer who wrote the letter could be in trouble for doing that, think again.  No case has been filed.  Even if it were filed, the bar is set pretty high on sanctioning lawyers for filing frivolous cases.  It has to be obviously for purposes of harassment.  A weak trademark-based claim is not going to get you there.


You know you're boring the crap out of us, right?
 
2013-06-19 12:04:07 AM
Somehow reminds me of the good old days' of cease and desist letters and responses posted on Rotten Tomatoes.

Anyone know if those are archived anywhere?

Fun stuff to read.
 
2013-06-19 12:13:39 AM
Being perfectly professional has it's merit, but sometimes wiping the floor with a jerk's ego is well worth the deviation.


/complaining about his taxes was taking it way too far.
 
2013-06-19 12:49:00 AM

Ross E. Krushan: Internet Tough AW here, all of you pay attention to this broad so she can feel better about her douchey self.


Says some swingin' diack on Fark. Well done asshole.

/an asshole is just an asshole
//stop being one to women
 
2013-06-19 01:19:28 AM
It's awesome shiat like this that makes me regret never working toward becoming a lawyer.
 
2013-06-19 01:34:07 AM

Gabrielmot: 4tehsnowflakes: ecmoRandomNumbers: vudutek: kxs401: Huh, it's actually the writer of the response letter who comes off as rather an asshole bully.

At least Freivald hired a bigger asshole to smack down the lesser asshole.

And that's what you want in a lawyer.

As one of the assholes who does this kind of thing, 4ts says the second lawyer Kaplitt was right that the domain name claim is weak, but the letter is unprofessional. For example, a footnote referring to a personal property tax issue the lawyer has with the municipality, really?  The fact that he is doing the case pro bono does not excuse the arrogance.  Just telling the other side that you have lawyered up is usually enough to get them to back off to some degree.

It wasn't clear, but reread this part...

"P.S. Off topic, but as long as we're chatting, I hereby demand from the Township a refund in the amount of $28,763.22 for excess property taxes levied on 74 Terrace Avenue since my acquisition of ownership on August 9, 2010. Detailed calculations and legal authority available on request.

P.P.S. Wait, I have a better idea. I just learned that westorange.gov is still available and any state or local agency can license it from the U.S. General Services Administration for only $125 per year. Since the whole refund thing might trigger a stampede if word got around, instead how about if I form a limited liability company to conceal my identity, and then use it to license westorange.gov from the GSA - I'll just need a letter from Mayor Parisi designating my LLC as an authorized Township agent - and then my LLC will sublicense it to the Township for a paid-up royalty of $28,763.22 ! Pretty clever, huh ? Krakoviak will be a hard sell, but Sayers should like it. Just something to consider ..."

It sounds (to me) like he's implying in the P.P.S. that someone is already doing this, and that his claim for "excess property taxes" from the P.S. would be valid if this was brought to light for the public. Actually sounds like a veiled threat.

-I think we may have found one of the last lawyers in the states with balls.


I believe the joke is in the "Detailed calculations and legal authority provided upon request.".

He's doing turnabout is fair play. In response to vague legal citation, he is throwing back his own. Like, if just waving your hands and spouting legalese is good enough for the c&d letter, how about you just pay me back all my prop taxes on the same basis?
 
2013-06-19 01:57:00 AM

Maestro1701: 4tehsnowflakes: Gabrielmot:

You know you're boring the crap out of us, right?


Ah, have I failed to amuse you in this thread?  Do you want a refund?
 
2013-06-19 03:34:43 AM

Professor Horatio Hufnagel: It's awesome shiat like this that makes me regret never working toward becoming a lawyer.


I've had similar thoughts on occasion. But, I dunno...if the price of entry is proving that you're the sort of person willing to ass-rape plain reason and expression for profit, just so you can pointedly note that your peers are the sort of people willing to ass-rape plain reason and expression for profit...seems like a bum deal.

*shrugs*
 
2013-06-19 05:42:00 AM

OhioUGrad: Unprofessional, but hilarious. It's like the two girls who talk trash to each other then slap fight.

It's two lawyers, they should duel at sunup.....one less lawyer means we all win.


There is a small chance they could both hit their mark, which would mean 2 less lawyers!
 
2013-06-19 07:25:23 AM

jmr61: "Don't remember signing?" I hear it all the time and 99.9% of the time YOU signed it.

And seriously, you have a half million dollar legal problem and you're NOT hiring a lawyer?

And finally, are there any pictures of your family or the bank holding a gun to your head wherein they forced you to sign all those bad promissory notes? I'll guess that's a no.

You sound like someone who made a business deal, finally recognized it and is still looking for a way to not pay back what you said you would.


What I signed was a guarantee that the company would pay back the loan. We closed on the loan at a title company because my dad put his house up for collateral. What the bank produced for the lawsuit was a personal guarantee from my father which was among the documents held by the title company, and a personal guarantee from me, of which there was no copy in those records. Also, everything I signed had been notarized . The personal guarantee they say is from me, not only was it not notarized  like EVERY other document, it was witnessed by my dad, not a bank official, like every other document was.

It wasn't until I told their lawyer that I was going to hire a handwriting expert to dispute it, did I stop hearing from him.

And I paid/am paying all the other loans. A $14,000 loan, $9,000 worth of credit cards, $8,000 in other misc stuff, and a $30,000 mortage on my house. I am taking care of those debts beacause I know I said I be responsible for them.

And I don't have a lawyer because I simply do not have the money. What money I had all went into the company. Every lawyer I talked to wanted a 5k retainer. That's to start. Even if I had that money (which I don't) the bank's lawyer would just out lawyer me anyway, and drag it out until the retainer ran out because I damn sure don't have any money on top of that. So no matter how much a lawyer would be useful, I can't wish one to appear from thin air. That's like telling a homeless man to just go buy a house.
 
2013-06-19 07:49:31 AM

draa: Ross E. Krushan: Internet Tough AW here, all of you pay attention to this broad so she can feel better about her douchey self.

Says some swingin' diack on Fark. Well done asshole.

/an asshole is just an asshole
//stop being one to women


Your lame white knight attempt will NOT get you laid.
 
2013-06-19 07:56:43 AM

noitsnot: Kind of weird how his CSB has you so frantic. Anything you want to talk about?


Actualy, yeah. Have you seen Now You See Me yet? That was an awesome movie. Probably one of the best movies I've seen in some time. Sure it has some of the same forumla like in Lucky Number Slevin or Layercake where you know there is some sort of long con in play and that there will be some cool twist/payoff at the end, but I found it really entertaining. I had a smile on my face through the whole thing. If you haven't seen it yet, go check it out.

/Thanks for listening man, I feel so much better now.
 
2013-06-19 08:37:13 AM
img.fark.net

APPROVES
 
2013-06-19 08:54:13 AM
Update:  Apparently the website in question's forum has noticed the gigantic influx of traffic.

One Gary Englert (apparently a well-known troll so venomous that they've set up a section of the website just for his posts) had this to say:


"No, and not by a long shot and this little Internet flurry is simply a flash in the pan.
If subjecting another human being to public ridicule in these ciecumstance is somehow laudable, I fail to see where and I think the beenfit to the Township, and its image, is fae better served when we recognize its heros."

Someone isn't familiar with the Internet much is he?
 
2013-06-19 09:26:34 AM

nekom: vudutek: kxs401: Huh, it's actually the writer of the response letter who comes off as rather an asshole bully.

At least Freivald hired a bigger asshole to smack down the lesser asshole.

Which is precisely what you want in a lawyer.  Maybe it's a sad state of affairs, but it's absolutely true.  My divorce attorney was a sleazy despicable son of a biatch, but I'm damned glad he was MY sleazeball.


Better Call Saul!!!
 
2013-06-19 02:32:27 PM

Theaetetus: noitsnot:
I get that the company needs IP to defend itself against other companies - but the stuff they try to patent is such tremendous bullshiat.  It's either ridiculously trivial or obviously existing art, or total bullshiat...If your company's programmers only come up with things that are ridiculously trivial or obvious existing prior art, then why is your company paying their salaries? Sounds like they could be replaced with a couple of Internet searches.... Or maybe it's only trivial in hindsight and they're making valuable contributions that are beautifully simple, but that needed hard work to come up with originally? and/or violates basic laws of nature.


I want to see the software patent that violates basic laws of nature./"A computer-implemented method for teleportation, comprising..."


If any comprising matter is your mom, you'd get a 35 USC 103
 
2013-06-19 03:39:00 PM

mekkab: I love how it was this whole big build up, then the payoff was in scribd.com, which is blocked at work.


/I hate the internet.


This ^

/I still found the letter on the forum link FTA, though
 
2013-06-19 03:51:22 PM

xellas84: Update:  Apparently the website in question's forum has noticed the gigantic influx of traffic.

One Gary Englert (apparently a well-known troll so venomous that they've set up a section of the website just for his posts) had this to say:


"No, and not by a long shot and this little Internet flurry is simply a flash in the pan.
If subjecting another human being to public ridicule in these ciecumstance is somehow laudable, I fail to see where and I think the beenfit to the Township, and its image, is fae better served when we recognize its heros."

Someone isn't familiar with the Internet much is he?


Just saw that as well.  Was so very tempted to post his quote here, but decided against it.
 
Displayed 22 of 172 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report