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(Think Progress)   You can't make this stuff up: Congressman's argument against abortion is that fetuses masturbate   (thinkprogress.org) divider line 141
    More: Stupid, abortions, fetuses masturbate, fetus, congressman, House of Representatives  
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2785 clicks; posted to Politics » on 18 Jun 2013 at 12:10 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 09:45:16 AM
So do monkeys, chimps and dolphins
 
2013-06-18 09:48:50 AM
You know. I think the NSA should look at little harder at his communications.
 
2013-06-18 09:55:23 AM

Aarontology: You know. I think the NSA should look at little harder at his communications.


Why, is the fetus jacking it in Morse code or something? Who would be able to get that signal?

Unless...the doc is an al Qaeda sleeper agent.

This thing goes deeper than we thought.
 
2013-06-18 10:08:21 AM
I think he needs to have a seat over there.  Even Pedobear thinks that's too young.
 
2013-06-18 10:13:45 AM

Dr Dreidel: Aarontology: You know. I think the NSA should look at little harder at his communications.

Why, is the fetus jacking it in Morse code or something? Who would be able to get that signal?

Unless...the doc is an al Qaeda sleeper agent.

This thing goes deeper than we thought.


FETUS IT OUT!
 
2013-06-18 10:21:12 AM
I'm not clicking that but somehow I fully believe in the validity of the headline and some asshole out there in power actually believes this,
 
2013-06-18 10:23:29 AM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-18 10:35:29 AM

CapeFearCadaver: I'm not clicking that but somehow I fully believe in the validity of the headline and some asshole out there in power actually believes this,


The gist of it is that the congressman claims that on an ultrasound you can observe a fetus moving its hand between its legs. The congressman then makes the leap that the fetus must derive pleasure from that and if it can derive pleasure, it must be able to feel pain.

I'm not making that up.
 
2013-06-18 10:36:15 AM

Dr Dreidel: Aarontology: You know. I think the NSA should look at little harder at his communications.

Why, is the fetus jacking it in Morse code or something? Who would be able to get that signal?

Unless...the doc is an al Qaeda sleeper agent.

This thing goes deeper than we thought.


Someone get Alex Jones on the line!
 
2013-06-18 10:41:08 AM

SurfaceTension: I'm not making that up.


I miss Poe's law; RIP Poe's law.
 
2013-06-18 10:42:16 AM

SurfaceTension: CapeFearCadaver: I'm not clicking that but somehow I fully believe in the validity of the headline and some asshole out there in power actually believes this,

The gist of it is that the congressman claims that on an ultrasound you can observe a fetus moving its hand between its legs. The congressman then makes the leap that the fetus must derive pleasure from that and if it can derive pleasure, it must be able to feel pain.

I'm not making that up.


This really *has* become just too silly.

And now...slide one.  The larch.
 
2013-06-18 10:42:56 AM
Actually that is a good argument. If a fetus can feel pleasure, then we must assume they can also feel pain.

Thankfully, most abortions happen in the 1st trimester, when I don't think there is very much fetal self abuse going on.
 
2013-06-18 10:43:55 AM
To be fair, I probably did.
 
2013-06-18 10:45:01 AM
Why does that fetus have such hairy palms?
 
2013-06-18 10:45:50 AM
www.markmallett.com


I CAN FAP TO THIS!!
 
2013-06-18 10:45:59 AM
Fapping Fetus would be a great band name
 
2013-06-18 10:46:52 AM
let me guess, he's a democrat?

j/k
 
2013-06-18 10:47:56 AM
Man, you think it's bad when your mom walks in on you, imagine being interrupted by the abortionist
 
2013-06-18 10:50:52 AM
*facepalm*
 
2013-06-18 10:51:42 AM

what_now: [www.markmallett.com image 367x374]


I CAN FAP TO THIS!!


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-18 10:58:45 AM

BunkoSquad: the abortionist


The abortionist?
 
2013-06-18 10:58:53 AM
images.politico.com

"No shiat?"
 
2013-06-18 10:59:01 AM
imageshack.us
 
2013-06-18 11:07:25 AM

Dr Dreidel: Aarontology: You know. I think the NSA should look at little harder at his communications.

Why, is the fetus jacking it in Morse code or something? Who would be able to get that signal?

Unless...the doc is an al Qaeda sleeper agent.

This thing goes deeper than we thought.


All the more reason for trans-vaginal ultrasounds. We need to be sure that those slutty unwed mothers out there aren't aborting non-masturbating God-fearing fetuses, only gestating, happy handed terrorists.
 
2013-06-18 11:15:08 AM
Wasn't masturbation a gateway to hell just a few days ago?... nip those little sinners in the bud! Abort them all just to be sure!

I need more coffee before reading this shiat.
 
2013-06-18 11:15:54 AM
Kind of makes you wonder why more male babies aren't born blind
 
2013-06-18 11:26:48 AM
I understand, it has got to be unbelievably boring to be on the wrong side of the vagina for nine months.
 
2013-06-18 11:39:04 AM
This is how many fraternal "twins" are conceived.

True story.  Your brother is your father.
 
2013-06-18 11:45:50 AM
The fetus is a parasite.  It feeds off the vital resources of the mother.  Just look at it -- it attaches to the host with a siphon!  If anything, we should kill them all.  It's practically a tapeworm.

/argument makes as much sense as Rep. Doofus'
 
2013-06-18 12:07:52 PM
That's not what the Church means by "Original Sin".
 
2013-06-18 12:12:28 PM
Masturbation!?

Kill that tiny little prenatal sinner!
 
2013-06-18 12:12:41 PM

FlashHarry: let me guess, he's a democrat?

j/k


Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX)

GOP in Texas, no more explanation needed
 
2013-06-18 12:13:35 PM

SurfaceTension: CapeFearCadaver: I'm not clicking that but somehow I fully believe in the validity of the headline and some asshole out there in power actually believes this,

The gist of it is that the congressman claims that on an ultrasound you can observe a fetus moving its hand between its legs. The congressman then makes the leap that the fetus must derive pleasure from that and if it can derive pleasure, it must be able to feel pain.

I'm not making that up.


But this isn't enough evidence that masturbation is natural and not a sin.
 
2013-06-18 12:16:12 PM

monoski: FlashHarry: let me guess, he's a democrat?

j/k

Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX)

GOP in Texas, no more explanation needed


Not that I needed clarification about how ridiculous this is, but now I have it.
 
2013-06-18 12:16:22 PM

Serious Black: SurfaceTension: CapeFearCadaver: I'm not clicking that but somehow I fully believe in the validity of the headline and some asshole out there in power actually believes this,

The gist of it is that the congressman claims that on an ultrasound you can observe a fetus moving its hand between its legs. The congressman then makes the leap that the fetus must derive pleasure from that and if it can derive pleasure, it must be able to feel pain.

I'm not making that up.

But this isn't enough evidence that masturbation is natural and not a sin.


God slew Onan for masturbating. So obviously God wants the fetus who masturbates aborted.
 
2013-06-18 12:16:31 PM
The GOP is only getting better and better.
 
2013-06-18 12:17:33 PM
On Monday evening, Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX), an Ob/Gyn by trade, to, "Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful":

www.motivationals.org
 
2013-06-18 12:17:56 PM

wotthefark: Serious Black: SurfaceTension: CapeFearCadaver: I'm not clicking that but somehow I fully believe in the validity of the headline and some asshole out there in power actually believes this,

The gist of it is that the congressman claims that on an ultrasound you can observe a fetus moving its hand between its legs. The congressman then makes the leap that the fetus must derive pleasure from that and if it can derive pleasure, it must be able to feel pain.

I'm not making that up.

But this isn't enough evidence that masturbation is natural and not a sin.

God slew Onan for masturbating. So obviously God wants the fetus who masturbates aborted.


Maybe that's why women miscarry. God knows the fetus is masturbating, so He smites them for committing a mortal sin.
 
2013-06-18 12:18:45 PM
First, he should have his medical license revoked.

Then, maybe he should be killed by a pack of wild hyenas.

Am I missing something else horrible that should befall him or is death enough?
 
2013-06-18 12:19:08 PM
Well did he cum or what?
 
2013-06-18 12:19:45 PM
There are no words to appropriately describe the stupidity.
Its like a trillion brain cells exclaimed 'what?' and were silenced....
 
2013-06-18 12:21:06 PM
Congressman's argument against abortion is that fetuses masturbate

What a wanker!
 
2013-06-18 12:21:10 PM
But yet this clown will get re-elected with 98809898908% of the vote because "liburals"
 
2013-06-18 12:21:38 PM

Triple Oak: monoski: FlashHarry: let me guess, he's a democrat?

j/k

Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX)

GOP in Texas, no more explanation needed

Not that I needed clarification about how ridiculous this is, but now I have it.


This guy is an OB/GYN by trade. I thought this was some fundie christian bollocks.

Holy Penis.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17851807 Apparently most penis' are observed around 12 weeks but most abortions happen before then.
 
2013-06-18 12:21:44 PM
It's amazing how often I hear a new dumbest thing I've ever heard.
 
2013-06-18 12:22:29 PM
Who are you going to believe, the respected congressman and OBGYN, or the baby who can't get his face out of boobs?

That's what I thought.
 
2013-06-18 12:23:19 PM

Serious Black: wotthefark: Serious Black: SurfaceTension: CapeFearCadaver: I'm not clicking that but somehow I fully believe in the validity of the headline and some asshole out there in power actually believes this,

The gist of it is that the congressman claims that on an ultrasound you can observe a fetus moving its hand between its legs. The congressman then makes the leap that the fetus must derive pleasure from that and if it can derive pleasure, it must be able to feel pain.

I'm not making that up.

But this isn't enough evidence that masturbation is natural and not a sin.

God slew Onan for masturbating. So obviously God wants the fetus who masturbates aborted.

Maybe that's why women miscarry. God knows the fetus is masturbating, so He smites them for committing a mortal sin.


What if the woman masturbates whilst pregnant?

Plan C
 
2013-06-18 12:23:25 PM
A) Does he have this on video tape?
B) If so, why hasn't he been arrested and sent to PMITA prison?
 
2013-06-18 12:24:24 PM
If the argument is that 20-week-old fetuses can feel pain, can't we just oblige the abortionist to anesthetize them before performing the abortion?
 
2013-06-18 12:25:34 PM
I am starting a collection - how much do you think we need to rent Obama's Magic Time Machine to pre-emptively abort this asshole via paternal castration?
 
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