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(USA Today)   Jets will pay Tim Tebow more money to play against them this year than the Patriots will. MAXIMUM TROLLING   (ftw.usatoday.com) divider line 64
    More: Amusing, Tim Tebow, Patriots, Jets, shutdown corner, maximum  
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2174 clicks; posted to Sports » on 18 Jun 2013 at 12:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 11:59:44 AM
i369.photobucket.com

At least you still have Sanchez.
 
2013-06-18 12:02:42 PM
cdn.meme.li
 
2013-06-18 12:23:13 PM
img.gawkerassets.com
 
2013-06-18 12:50:56 PM
Do we know he'll be playing against the Patriots?  What'd I miss?
 
2013-06-18 12:53:09 PM

ten foiled hats: Do we know he'll be playing against the Patriots?  What'd I miss?


morphinlegacy.com
 
2013-06-18 12:53:12 PM

ten foiled hats: Do we know he'll be playing against the Patriots?  What'd I miss?


Time to shed some of those hats.
 
2013-06-18 12:55:33 PM

basemetal: At least you still have Sanchez.


That .gif always makes my day.
 
2013-06-18 12:58:33 PM

swankywanky: ten foiled hats: Do we know he'll be playing against the Patriots?  What'd I miss?

[morphinlegacy.com image 480x461]


Odd Bird: ten foiled hats: Do we know he'll be playing against the Patriots?  What'd I miss?

Time to shed some of those hats.


"Head."  And "line."
 
2013-06-18 12:58:35 PM

swankywanky: ten foiled hats: Do we know he'll be playing against the Patriots?  What'd I miss?

[morphinlegacy.com image 480x461]


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-18 12:59:50 PM
Wait...isn't paying Tebow to play for your opponent actually a smart move?
 
2013-06-18 01:00:15 PM
To be fair, to many teams this is a sound strategy.
 
2013-06-18 01:01:14 PM
img.fark.net

some of them lie about the rings they got
And Rex he tries to floss on my block
But my nubian Billy B? He chopped they shop.
But I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't
Thats whats up because I live a Kraft life.

So many nubians wanna play but they still got dues
And my nubian Goodell fines em if they wear the wrong shoes
Some of them gotta beg a biatch to stay
But my boy T-Brades makes 'em pay on Sunday
But I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't
Cuz I live a Kraft life.

Shorty this flow is presidential, I mean really
A pocketful of rings, courtesy of Brades and Billy
When the Pats on the field I got nothin to fear
Even if a ring gets rocked by that Russian nubian Vladimir
Showin' all the hoes how a boss man do bidniss
Cuz I got the Pats rockin, rollin' with quickness
AFC East on lockdown, punk you wanna throw down?
From Foxboro to Meadowlands, that is how I roll
And if you keep chirping at me, I'ma unleash Tebow
But I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't
Cuz I live a Kraft life CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH
 
2013-06-18 01:01:51 PM

ten foiled hats: Do we know he'll be playing against the Patriots?  What'd I miss?


Tebow decides he will play special teams in an effort to win love and adoration from his coach, his team, his fans and god. He is on kick off return. His job: block anyone too close to guy with the ball. He practices, envisions, game plans.

The big day comes. His first few attempts are a success and he even helped spring the runner for a long scamper down the sideline that put Tom Brady one play away from a touchdown. The crowd loved his selfless act, his courage and love of the game. All smiles he lines up to receive- the Jets had just scored!

The balls sails past him to the return man. Tebow locks horns with a gunner and turns him out as the ball carrier runs past. He lets go and follows. The return man goes down in a pile of players and out pops the bal. Fumble! Tebow picks up the ball and runs left, he runs right, the crowd goes wild as he spins out of a tackle and races to the endzome! The crowds reaction is one he has never heard before. He crosses the goal line and drops the ball and raises his arms to the stands, god and more god. He turns around to hear a whistle. 2 Jets players are on top of the ball. Touchdown. Jets.
 
2013-06-18 01:08:32 PM
cdn.meme.li
 
2013-06-18 01:11:10 PM
tebow should spend most of the game time on his knees thanking god that some team or combination of teams is gifting him 1.4m to do nothing
 
2013-06-18 01:13:07 PM

Dead for Tax Reasons: tebow should spend most of the game time on his knees thanking god that some team or combination of teams is gifting him 1.4 2.1m to do nothing

 
2013-06-18 01:20:35 PM
images.athlonsports.com
 
2013-06-18 01:22:08 PM
Seems like the money the Jets are paying is actually going to the Broncos, not to Tebow himself.  But yeah, bad deal.
 
2013-06-18 01:34:58 PM
This was asked on the Davey Mac Sports Program (great podcast) on their most recent episode, and I'll ask all you farkers too.  Is Belichick just trolling the Jets with this move?  Perhaps calling every other coach a pussy for passing on Tebow?
 
2013-06-18 01:52:49 PM

Raging Whore Moans: This was asked on the Davey Mac Sports Program (great podcast) on their most recent episode, and I'll ask all you farkers too.  Is Belichick just trolling the Jets with this move?  Perhaps calling every other coach a pussy for passing on Tebow?


Bill is kicking the tires on a cheap prospect at absolutely no risk.
Chances are Tebow gets cut after giving Mallet something to think about during pre-season besides " I'll never beat Brady to be #1 ".
The Pats have carried 2 QB's before though.

The only downside is the Media asking stupid questions over and over again, I'm pretty sure Belichick considers that business as usual.
 
2013-06-18 01:57:11 PM

AnEvilGuest: Bill is kicking the tires on a cheap prospect at absolutely no risk.



yeah, and we've seen this before.  randy moss, chad ocho cinco come to mind.  if they don't work out, WFC.

wasn't that Junior Seau's deal as well?  didn't he unretire to join the Pats for jack shiat?

sure there are other examples.
 
2013-06-18 02:03:13 PM

AnEvilGuest: Raging Whore Moans: This was asked on the Davey Mac Sports Program (great podcast) on their most recent episode, and I'll ask all you farkers too.  Is Belichick just trolling the Jets with this move?  Perhaps calling every other coach a pussy for passing on Tebow?

Bill is kicking the tires on a cheap prospect at absolutely no risk.
Chances are Tebow gets cut after giving Mallet something to think about during pre-season besides " I'll never beat Brady to be #1 ".
The Pats have carried 2 QB's before though.

The only downside is the Media asking stupid questions over and over again, I'm pretty sure Belichick considers that business as usual.


Could also be switching him to FB or TE; or just milking jersey sales for a season
 
2013-06-18 02:03:25 PM
Ironically, Tim Tebow getting paid ludicrously to do little to nothing has served as an awesome reminder that there can't possibly be an omniscient, omnipotent, granddaddy/wizard in the sky orchestrating it all. Thanks, Timmeh!
 
2013-06-18 02:07:04 PM
Just being on a roster doesn't mean he's going to actually play...
 
2013-06-18 02:13:35 PM
I don't think the buttfumble will ever be topped. It is the greatest fail one can achieve in football.
 
2013-06-18 02:14:57 PM
MAXIMUM TROLLING is about the only plausible reason the Patriots signed Tebow.
 
2013-06-18 02:17:27 PM

ShadowKamui: Could also be switching him to FB or TE; or just milking jersey sales for a season


when the signing was announced, i theorized what number they'd assign him.  They gave him a QB number (5?) but i wonder if he ends up wearing, you know, 82 or 43 or some shiat (TE/FB numbers per NFL rule).
 
2013-06-18 02:19:47 PM
"Dead Money" is a well-known and relatively common phenomenon and does not justify yet another goddamn Tebow link.
 
2013-06-18 02:29:20 PM
I good Christian would donate that unearned money to charity.
 
2013-06-18 02:31:29 PM

Super Chronic: "Dead Money" is a well-known and relatively common phenomenon and does not justify yet another goddamn Tebow link.


It's especially laughable in baseball. There are two teams still paying Bobby Bonilla.

Two.
 
2013-06-18 02:39:28 PM

Killer Cars: Super Chronic: "Dead Money" is a well-known and relatively common phenomenon and does not justify yet another goddamn Tebow link.

It's especially laughable in baseball. There are two teams still paying Bobby Bonilla.

Two.


Bonilla is the Mets' second-highest paid outfielder this year.  First is current Seattle Mariner Jason Bay.
 
2013-06-18 02:41:14 PM

rickythepenguin: AnEvilGuest: Bill is kicking the tires on a cheap prospect at absolutely no risk.


yeah, and we've seen this before.  randy moss, chad ocho cinco come to mind.  if they don't work out, WFC.

wasn't that Junior Seau's deal as well?  didn't he unretire to join the Pats for jack shiat?

sure there are other examples.


Moss and Ocho weren't really the same because the Pats paid them guaranteed money and gave up draft picks.

Timmy can be cut without costing cap space, cash or draft picks.
 
2013-06-18 02:44:24 PM

Killer Cars: It's especially laughable in baseball. There are two teams still paying Bobby Bonilla.


i believe the Snakes are still paing Bernard Gilkey through I think 2014.....for the 2001 WS run.  Snakes had a ton of dead money that we're slowly shedding (no pun intended)

I think Matt Williams finally went off the books about 2010, Gonzo about that same time....there were others.  But Gilkey last I checked gets a few hundred K per year through '13 or '15 or some shiat.

nice problem to have!
 
2013-06-18 02:52:19 PM
So I see the Patriots play the Jets pretty early in the season. I assume Tebow will be on the roster just long enough for both games. And if the Patriots are killing the Jets in either game, Brady will sit near the end of the game and Tebow will come in as a replacement.

I guess the Patriots was the only real landing spot for Tebow, but that doesn't mean he should have realized long ago that he's just not NFL quarterback material. He really needs to look at other career options. I don't see why he couldn't be a successful Christian speaker.
 
2013-06-18 02:53:42 PM

Super Chronic: Bonilla is the Mets' second-highest paid outfielder this year. First is current Seattle Mariner Jason Bay.


At least (I think) Bay will be off the Mets' books by season-end of 2014. With Bonilla....I....I have no words.
 
2013-06-18 03:10:09 PM
I don't get all the butthurt over Tebow. Look at his stats for his first two seasons versus Joe Namath's first
two seasons. Tebow's numbers were better. Yes, he's green. Yes, he needs to work on his technique. As
I understand it, he's been spending a lot of his off-time doing just that.

I am really hoping that the kid is a late bloomer and that he'll hit his stride and leave everyone in the dust
trying to pick their collective jaw up off the ground.

The only thing that sucks is that he's playing for the motherfarking PATRIOTS. The only team I dislike more
are the COWBOYS.

Ugh.
 
2013-06-18 03:12:03 PM
More likely they're paying him to get cut by the Patriots before the season begins.
 
2013-06-18 03:12:57 PM

skinink: So I see the Patriots play the Jets pretty early in the season. I assume Tebow will be on the roster just long enough for both games. And if the Patriots are killing the Jets in either game, Brady will sit near the end of the game and Tebow will come in as a replacement.


There is no way that Belichick will sit Brady for Tebow for any reason.  There is no way that Brady will allow himself to be sat for Tebow for any reason.

Remember Gronkowski broke his arm after a TD and extra point in a 59-24 game.
 
2013-06-18 03:16:35 PM
He'll wear #15 and get a clue people. His contract with the Patriots is NO guaranteed money!

Excellent no risk play for possible big rewards for the Patriots.
 
2013-06-18 03:49:39 PM
I'm wagering the J-E-T-S would be willing to pay a lot more to have Tebow play against them as the New England starting QB.
 
2013-06-18 04:22:23 PM

degenerate-afro: skinink: So I see the Patriots play the Jets pretty early in the season. I assume Tebow will be on the roster just long enough for both games. And if the Patriots are killing the Jets in either game, Brady will sit near the end of the game and Tebow will come in as a replacement.

There is no way that Belichick will sit Brady for Tebow for any reason.  There is no way that Brady will allow himself to be sat for Tebow for any reason.

Remember Gronkowski broke his arm after a TD and extra point in a 59-24 game.


You're the latest Monday morning quarterback I've ever seen.
 
2013-06-18 04:23:38 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-18 04:27:44 PM

Captain Steroid: [i1182.photobucket.com image 400x313]


24.media.tumblr.com
O.o
 
2013-06-18 04:36:43 PM
i624.photobucket.com

i624.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-18 04:48:52 PM

EyeballKid: Ironically, Tim Tebow getting paid ludicrously to do little to nothing has served as an awesome reminder that there can't possibly be an omniscient, omnipotent, granddaddy/wizard in the sky orchestrating it all. Thanks, Timmeh!


...

Even as a Christian, I would hope that you could find more reasonable evidence that there is no God than "one person who believes in God has become a multimillionaire due to his talent, but he is not the best football player on earth".
 
2013-06-18 04:55:00 PM
It is my prediction that Tebow will become the Patriots starting QB this season due to injuries. He will lead them to a Super Bowl victory and he'll do it in the Jets stadium. They'll get to the Super Bowl by kicking the shiat out of the Jets.
 
2013-06-18 04:58:28 PM

skrame: EyeballKid: Ironically, Tim Tebow getting paid ludicrously to do little to nothing has served as an awesome reminder that there can't possibly be an omniscient, omnipotent, granddaddy/wizard in the sky orchestrating it all. Thanks, Timmeh!

...

Even as a Christian, I would hope that you could find more reasonable evidence that there is no God than "one person who believes in God has become a multimillionaire due to his talent, but he is not the best football player on earth".


Talent? Wow, you do enjoy believing in unfounded ridiculous claims.
 
2013-06-18 04:59:49 PM

leevis: It is my prediction that Tebow will become the Patriots starting QB this season due to injuries. He will lead them to a Super Bowl victory and he'll do it in the Jets stadium. They'll get to the Super Bowl by kicking the shiat out of the Jets.


I was just out in Vegas so i threw a $50 on a straight Pats SB win but man, if they had what you suggested on the board I would have thrown them $5 just for shiatzngiggles.  Can only imagine what the odds would be on that one.
 
2013-06-18 05:03:42 PM

Theaetetus: degenerate-afro: There is no way that Belichick will sit Brady for Tebow for any reason.  There is no way that Brady will allow himself to be sat for Tebow for any reason.


Remember Gronkowski broke his arm after a TD and extra point in a 59-24 game.

You're the latest Monday morning quarterback I've ever seen.


What's wrong with using historical events to support a claim?
Are you implying that Gronk didn't break his arm while blocking for an extra point in a 59-24 game?
I provided no opinion of my own in that statement so I'm not sure why you would have a problem with it.

Perhaps you would have preferred that I also point out that Belichick didn't pull Brady during the 45-10 drubbing he served Tebow and the Broncos in the playoffs two years ago?

How Tom Brady wasn't pulled from a 34-3 whooping of Tyler Palko and the Chiefs in 2011?
How Brady wasn't pulled from the 49-19 butt fumble game?
 
2013-06-18 05:23:44 PM

Theaetetus: You're the latest Monday morning quarterback I've ever seen.


Ah, I found one.  Tom Brady was pulled from with 8 minutes to go in the 4th quarter of a 45-7 shellacking of the Rams.  He was in for two series.  One series to hand the ball off and one series to kneel the clock out.
 
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