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(Yahoo)   "To us, that was striking. That was unexpected. You think of the bathroom as a safe place"   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 102
    More: Silly, Breyers, bathrooms  
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8966 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2013 at 1:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 12:05:57 PM  
Another thing to protect your little snowflake from, now you'll start making them pee like a little girl.
 
2013-06-18 12:10:58 PM  
Tell 'em the porcelain (but not the seat) is lava.

Or buy one of those seats with the open front (like a horseshoe). It may look like a trashy public bathroom, but manhood will be saved in the process.
 
2013-06-18 12:21:54 PM  
About 68 percent were so-called crush injuries, which is when the penis gets trapped between the seat and the bowl.

Crossing and uncrossing legs furiously over here.
 
2013-06-18 12:26:54 PM  
www.technologytell.com

/oblig
 
2013-06-18 01:13:26 PM  
Why should this come as a surprise.  The vast majority of bathroom related injuries happen in the bathroom.

No.  I am not a professional statistician.
 
2013-06-18 01:33:20 PM  
just piss outside, problem solved.
 
2013-06-18 01:35:41 PM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-06-18 01:35:52 PM  
What the hell did I just read.
 
2013-06-18 01:41:21 PM  
Mine always gets trapped between the seat and the bowl when I sit down to poo.
 
2013-06-18 01:42:46 PM  

Should be standard issue:

  www.rensup.com

http://www.rensup.com/t//Toilet_Seats_Dtl20491.jpg

I have to retrain my self not to slam the old style seats when I use strange bathrooms.

 
2013-06-18 01:43:02 PM  
I don't get how this can happen, I mean most people just leave the seat down and dip the tip in the water when you're standing to piss right?
 
2013-06-18 01:48:27 PM  
I thought the problem was the slats on wooden chairs
 
2013-06-18 01:50:46 PM  

lewismarktwo: Should be standard issue:  http://www.rensup.com/t//Toilet_Seats_Dtl20491.jpg
I have to retrain my self not to slam the old style seats when I use strange bathrooms.


I've used one. In addition to being quiet, it takes much less effort to close the lid - which is nice when you're half awake.
 
2013-06-18 01:51:50 PM  
i1156.photobucket.com

A seat for little butts, plus a regular seat, with slow closure.

Occasionally, a grown adult does not understand that there is a larger seat underneath the baby one.
 
2013-06-18 01:52:34 PM  

cyberspacedout: lewismarktwo: Should be standard issue:  http://www.rensup.com/t//Toilet_Seats_Dtl20491.jpg
I have to retrain my self not to slam the old style seats when I use strange bathrooms.

I've used one. In addition to being quiet, it takes much less effort to close the lid - which is nice when you're half awake.


Available at your local hardware for pretty cheap.  When I had to replace the seat, I couldn't find a nice one that wasn't a "quiet close" model.
 
2013-06-18 01:58:59 PM  
Real men pee in the bushes.
 
2013-06-18 01:59:59 PM  
Anybody remember the guy a number of years back who sued Starbucks for an injury to his genitals from a "faulty toilet seat"?  At the time it sounded like he just dropped the seat on his dick.

After I learned a few more details I haven't been able to trust a toilet since. The guy was sitting down, not standing.  The seat wasn't bolted on and it slid off the side of the bowl, his entire body weight on it, and his junk hanging down inside.  Ended up getting a near-scissor treatment between the bowl & seat. He was a heavy dude too.

media.vintagecotton.com
 
2013-06-18 02:02:37 PM  
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
 
2013-06-18 02:02:52 PM  
Everybody who allows their penis to be bitten by the toilet deserves it.  Next time you'll move faster.
 
2013-06-18 02:05:41 PM  

relaxitsjustme: Real men pee in the bushes

hold their urine.
 
2013-06-18 02:05:44 PM  

THX 1138: Anybody remember the guy a number of years back who sued Starbucks for an injury to his genitals from a "faulty toilet seat"?  At the time it sounded like he just dropped the seat on his dick.

After I learned a few more details I haven't been able to trust a toilet since. The guy was sitting down, not standing.  The seat wasn't bolted on and it slid off the side of the bowl, his entire body weight on it, and his junk hanging down inside.  Ended up getting a near-scissor treatment between the bowl & seat. He was a heavy dude too.

[media.vintagecotton.com image 400x300]


That's why I keep my feet firmly planted in a wide stance.
 
2013-06-18 02:05:45 PM  
Came for Ow My Balls and the Ballsack Conundrum, leaving satisfied. Carry on, Farkers.
 
2013-06-18 02:07:17 PM  

lewismarktwo: That's why I keep my feet firmly planted in a wide stance.


Yeah.  THAT'S why.
 
2013-06-18 02:14:44 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-18 02:15:35 PM  
You think of the bathroom as a safe place

Not after I've been in it, you don't. You're going to want to let it air out for about 15 minutes before you venture in there.
 
2013-06-18 02:16:23 PM  
The Penis; Protect it.

1. Never stand so close to the toilet where you may be splashed with your or someone else's urine.

/surprised how far a 5 year old can piss. Over three feet and aim accurately.
 
2013-06-18 02:18:33 PM  
Just toilets?
i115.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-18 02:20:37 PM  
Trees and bushes dont have seats or lids for a reason folks.

// just saying
///  #1 reason it's good to be a guy? The world is your urinal
 
2013-06-18 02:21:47 PM  
I have a son who's about to turn two, and this is something that indeed worries me. When we empty the potty into the toilet after he's done using it, he often tries to flush the toilet himself. The problem is that he's exactly tall enough for his penis to rest on the toilet seat. If he ever accidentally knocks over the toilet lid while reaching for the handle, well... let's just say I hope this never happens when I'm not paying attention.
 
2013-06-18 02:25:00 PM  
Bathrooms are far from being a safe place.

www.waitingfornextyear.com

cdn.funcheap.com

static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-06-18 02:25:54 PM  
how short are the grown men that fall victim to this?  Are we talking about midgets?
 
2013-06-18 02:27:03 PM  
Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.
 
2013-06-18 02:28:13 PM  
Seat and lid of plastic. Problem solved.
 
2013-06-18 02:33:32 PM  

DubtodaIll: I don't get how this can happen, I mean most people just leave the seat down and dip the tip in the water when you're standing to piss right?


That water is cold.

Deep too.
 
2013-06-18 02:34:50 PM  
This is the best part of the article:

By Andrew M. Seaman
 
2013-06-18 02:36:06 PM  

MagicBoris: I have a son who's about to turn two, and this is something that indeed worries me. When we empty the potty into the toilet after he's done using it, he often tries to flush the toilet himself. The problem is that he's exactly tall enough for his penis to rest on the toilet seat. If he ever accidentally knocks over the toilet lid while reaching for the handle, well... let's just say I hope this never happens when I'm not paying attention.


Seriously, get the slow closing plastic lid.
 
2013-06-18 02:39:56 PM  

DubtodaIll: I don't get how this can happen, I mean most people just leave the seat down and dip the tip in the water when you're standing to piss right?


No, you don't do that. It would leave water drops on the flusher when you slap your dick on its lever.
 
2013-06-18 02:40:00 PM  
s18.postimg.org

you Farkers are slacking....
 
2013-06-18 02:40:43 PM  
Here's your f'ing problem:

i.walmartimages.com
Ban these things and the lid will magically stay up.

/The dimwitted hausfraus who insist on using these should be kicked in their twats
 
2013-06-18 02:41:16 PM  
I am sitting here trying to imagine, in what possibly way, do you get the toilet seat/lid you strike your penis hard enough to have to go to the ER. I cannot even begin to imagine it.

On that note, I'm so damn busy on any given day, I sit on the toilet, even to just urinate. Why? Because it may be the only time I get to sit down in that several hour timespan.
 
2013-06-18 02:42:46 PM  
It kind of shows "You didn't put the toilet seat down!"  in perspective, eh women?
 
2013-06-18 02:44:24 PM  
Bathrooms are more of a threat to America than Al Quaeda.
 
2013-06-18 02:44:30 PM  
Toilet seats?  Puhleeeze.

You really need to educate little Billy on the potential horror of THE ZIPPER.
 
2013-06-18 02:45:37 PM  

farkingismybusiness: Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.


I don't know where that's from, but I read it in a Frank Drebin voice.
 
2013-06-18 02:49:29 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x274]


I know I've seen it, but I don't know where...  Look who's talking 3 or some shiat?
 
2013-06-18 02:49:58 PM  

lewismarktwo: MagicBoris: I have a son who's about to turn two, and this is something that indeed worries me. When we empty the potty into the toilet after he's done using it, he often tries to flush the toilet himself. The problem is that he's exactly tall enough for his penis to rest on the toilet seat. If he ever accidentally knocks over the toilet lid while reaching for the handle, well... let's just say I hope this never happens when I'm not paying attention.

Seriously, get the slow closing plastic lid.


Yeah... I just looked online and I'll most probably buy one soon...
 
2013-06-18 02:50:26 PM  

Psycoholic_Slag: Toilet seats?  Puhleeeze.

You really need to educate little Billy on the potential horror of THE ZIPPER.


www.manageyourshapeblog.com

FRANKS AN' BEANS!!!!!!
 
2013-06-18 02:55:00 PM  
If someone wants the seat up, they should put it up.

If somone wants the seat down, they should put it down.

It is not the mans responsibility to have to move the seat up and then down just to stop the whining of women too lazy to look before they sit.

Finally, if a guy has to stand that close to the can, then the darwinism (elimination of the small penised to reproduce) that ensues should please the women, should it not.

/signed copies of my book on the philosophy of life is on sale at the bookstore.
//This is but a sample.
 
2013-06-18 02:56:39 PM  

mediablitz: DubtodaIll: I don't get how this can happen, I mean most people just leave the seat down and dip the tip in the water when you're standing to piss right?

That water is cold.

Deep too.


I reckon yer that feller from Arkansas.
 
2013-06-18 02:57:21 PM  

Keeve: farkingismybusiness: Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.

I don't know where that's from, but I read it in a Frank Drebin voice.


You owe my boss a new keyboard
 
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