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(Huffington Post)   Cap'n Crunch never rose past the rank of Commander. Still sounds better than Seaman Crunch   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 91
    More: Silly, Cap'n Crunch, liars, Tony the Tiger, commanders  
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4902 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2013 at 10:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 11:05:57 AM  
pbfcomics.com
/Obligatory hotlinked topical PBF comic
 
2013-06-18 11:06:16 AM  
That's why you never trust a guy with eyebrows on his hat.

/Check out Breakfast of the Gods.  It's good for you
 
2013-06-18 11:07:18 AM  

Oldiron_79: Because that sonofabiatch has been spreading lies, my cereal does NOT cut the roof of your mouth.


memepics.com
 
2013-06-18 11:09:48 AM  

Theaetetus: RexTalionis: For instance, here's Sir Edward Pellew - he's wearing a late 18th century Captain's Uniform with two cuffbands.

That painting was made in 1804, when he was promoted to Rear Admiral.


Theaetetus: RexTalionis: For instance, here's Sir Edward Pellew - he's wearing a late 18th century Captain's Uniform with two cuffbands.

That painting was made in 1804, when he was promoted to Rear Admiral.


Well, okay, but I don't think that it undercuts my statement that the Royal Navy uniforms weren't terribly consistent when it came to style of decoration over the course of the late 17th and early 18th century.

Here's an 1812 Royal Navy captain's uniform with two cuffbands as well:

www.militaryheritage.com

www.artistsharbour.com

Here's a Royal Navy Post-Captain with one cuffband.

Heck, even epaulettes weren't even part of the regulation uniform until 1795, but captains before then would have their tailors alter their uniforms to add them on because they were fashionable.
 
2013-06-18 11:13:22 AM  
I'm going to put some photos on tumblr and imgur and see if someone will turn them into news
 
2013-06-18 11:15:14 AM  
I prefer to call him by his real name:  Horatio Magellan.
 
2013-06-18 11:16:56 AM  

AUAIOMRN: Crunch had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not Cap'n Crunch' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Cap'n Crunch , just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Cap'n Crunch either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Crunch has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'

Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary desire. You see, no one would eat a cereal called Cap'n Westley. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew and he stayed aboard for awhile as first mate, all the time calling me Crunch. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Crunch ever since.


I'm just retiring from the revenge business, perhaps I should consider a career in cereal promotion?
 
2013-06-18 11:22:25 AM  

xanadian: Uh, any officer in charge of a vessel is typically referred to as "captain," even if that's not their officially designated rank.

/or skipper
//or CO


This.  It's very unlikely that anything lighter than a CL will be captained by anybody higher than a CDR.

My favorite maritime poster:
http://www.marine-marchande.net/Captcoz/poster_capt.html
 
2013-06-18 11:29:18 AM  

Ishidan: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I find it more alarming that a naval service would accept a recruit whose eye bulge out beyond the brim of his hat.

At least Popeye -- ironically with one eye permanently closed and one eye beady and deep-seated -- only had localized hydro-encephalitis and a crippling iron deficiency.

Recruit? For that matter, seaman? He's an officer.
Tip: military officers in his day usually did not do it by working up from the enlisted ranks... Nepotism and outright buying commissions was how it tended to work.


Depends, are we talking Royal Navy?  It was one of the few offices you couldn't buy back then.  Rarely, someone would come from "before the mast" to get promoted up, otherwise, the only way to become a naval officer was to spend some years as a midshipman, learning navigation and ship handling et cetera.  Then you took a test in front of some senior captains.  If they passed you, you weren't an officer but you were at least eligible for promotion.  Next step was to find a captain willing to take you on as a junior Lieutenant.

So while you couldn't outright buy a commission like you could in the army, getting someone to give you a berth as a midshipman and then later as a Lieutenant could be tricky, there were always more people than open spaces.  So yeah, lots of nepotism.  Son of an Admiral, you'll have your own ship by thirty easy.  Son of a nobody, you could still be a midshipman at the same age.
 
2013-06-18 11:32:31 AM  
static.lulu.com
 
2013-06-18 11:34:13 AM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

/relevant?
 
2013-06-18 11:38:47 AM  

Old_Chief_Scott: BitwiseShift: Perhaps a man with an unlikely tattoo?

Old Kelsey should be wearing, at a minimum, his highest three ribbons while wearing that shirt.


Not with "wash khakis" the dolphins only is correct.
The wash khakis were phased out a few years ago, but the uniform was correct in the movies time frame.
 
2013-06-18 11:50:47 AM  
mickeymills.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-18 11:53:45 AM  

AUAIOMRN: Crunch had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not Cap'n Crunch' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Cap'n Crunch , just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Cap'n Crunch either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Crunch has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'

Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary desire. You see, no one would eat a cereal called Cap'n Westley. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew and he stayed aboard for awhile as first mate, all the time calling me Crunch. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Crunch ever since.


As you wish
 
2013-06-18 11:54:53 AM  
Captain Crunch is a real captain. He's a pirate captain. The uniform he is wearing simply doesn't belong to him. And his hat was fifty years out of style by the time he got his first ship.

The cereal aisle is full of scandalous secrets (not counting the 36 different words for sugar on cereal box labels).

Count Chocula is only a Papal Count.

Frankenberry is made with people!

Not only was Boo-Berry unpopular, but the Creature from the Black Lagoon was a complete failure and didn't last a week in the stores. People said it made your milk green and tasty "fishy".

Lucky Charms are not magically delicious. They're basically candy, as is most pre-sweetened cereal.

The Michael Jackson Cereal was recalled because it contained wine and Coca-Cola.

Scooby Snacks can still be purchased, but they were all made in 1973. Some of them are as hard as dog biscuits.

The green dye used in Apple Jacks used to glow in the dark during the 1970s thanks to a deal with the Radium Dial Co. of Delaware.

Cornflakes never lose their crispness or flavor if keep tightly sealed. I had a box that I only used to make chicken breading and it lasted over ten years.

Cornflakes and a meal consisting of milk, juice, fruit, toast, eggs, etc., makes a healthy breakfast. In fact, Cornflakes plus a turkey and the fixings makes a healthy Thanksgiving dinner. Cornflakes plus anything is anything, plus Cornflakes.

When one of my teacher's wife was a schoolgirl in England, the (private) school served Cornflakes for dinner. The English hate children as much as they love their pets.

The Mad Bomber from The Muppet Show had a short-lived cereal that went snap, crackle and ka-boom. The little bombs proved a bit too volatile and are now classified by the US military. (Fun fact: sugar has about the same energy per gram as jet fuel.) At the end of the episode, the Mad Bomber is revealed to be the guest star, Sandra Bullock. Did you think I was talking the other guy, Crazy Harry? He never had a cereal. He did have a movie and used car business in Burbank, California, though.
 
2013-06-18 11:56:34 AM  
The Cap'n should be demoted to Lieutenant or Ensign for providing a product that is injures the roof of the consumers mouths. Maybe throw him in the brig for a couple of months.
 
2013-06-18 12:03:21 PM  

brantgoose: Captain Crunch is a real captain. He's a pirate captain. The uniform he is wearing simply doesn't belong to him. And his hat was fifty years out of style by the time he got his first ship.

The cereal aisle is full of scandalous secrets (not counting the 36 different words for sugar on cereal box labels).

Count Chocula is only a Papal Count.

Frankenberry is made with people!


So Frankenberry is Soylent Green?
 
2013-06-18 12:04:20 PM  

Ima_Lurker: brantgoose: Captain Crunch is a real captain. He's a pirate captain. The uniform he is wearing simply doesn't belong to him. And his hat was fifty years out of style by the time he got his first ship.

The cereal aisle is full of scandalous secrets (not counting the 36 different words for sugar on cereal box labels).

Count Chocula is only a Papal Count.

Frankenberry is made with people!

So Frankenberry is Soylent Green?


Soylent Pink.
 
2013-06-18 12:07:59 PM  

kqc7011: Old_Chief_Scott: BitwiseShift: Perhaps a man with an unlikely tattoo?

Old Kelsey should be wearing, at a minimum, his highest three ribbons while wearing that shirt.

Not with "wash khakis" the dolphins only is correct.
The wash khakis were phased out a few years ago, but the uniform was correct in the movies time frame.


Those aren't wash khakis.

And they phased out my favorite uniform? The bastards. Must have been right about the same time they brought in those hideous blue camo things.
 
2013-06-18 12:21:49 PM  

Old_Chief_Scott: kqc7011: Old_Chief_Scott: BitwiseShift: Perhaps a man with an unlikely tattoo?

Old Kelsey should be wearing, at a minimum, his highest three ribbons while wearing that shirt.

Not with "wash khakis" the dolphins only is correct.
The wash khakis were phased out a few years ago, but the uniform was correct in the movies time frame.

Those aren't wash khakis.

And they phased out my favorite uniform? The bastards. Must have been right about the same time they brought in those hideous blue camo things.


It's part of the Navy's plan to reduce the burden of the VA; finding a man washed overboard in blue camo is challenging enough that it's hardly worth the bother.
 
2013-06-18 12:24:06 PM  

xanadian: Uh, any officer in charge of a vessel is typically referred to as "captain," even if that's not their officially designated rank.

/or skipper
//or CO


Unless they are enlisted, in which case they are Officers in Charge and are addressed by their grade, i.e., Chief Crunch.
 
2013-06-18 12:31:03 PM  

LibertyHiller: finding a man washed overboard in blue camo is challenging enough that it's hardly worth the bother.


No kidding. I was a SAR crewman for 14 years. Wearing these things they would blend in perfectly.

I remember being asked to fill out a survey regarding Navy uniforms a couple of years before I retired. I said they should leave the dress uniforms alone, leave the working uniforms for people like PNs and Yns alone, and let everyone else wear blue coveralls with sewn on insignia and the same belt and covers they would usually wear. Oh, but change the CPO and officer working uniform to something similar to the WWII ones with a black tie and a jacket with all of your stuff on that you could just take off and hang up when you got to work.

I can see they didn't listen very well to that...
 
2013-06-18 01:26:21 PM  

Sybarite: A commander in command of a vessel, which Horatio Magellan Crunch clearly is, would properly be addressed as "Captain."


Aye.  As I recall, there is an alternative term used for other officers with the rank of captain who are on board, so that the word "Captain" will refer only to the commander of the vessel and no one else.  What is it?
 
2013-06-18 01:34:17 PM  
I don't get the outrage. If you look carefully, you'll see he gives his rank as "Cap'n" NOT "Captian". He not not actualy a military man and thus uses the term "cap'n" to avoid prosecution under the Stolen Valor Act.

I could go around all day saying I am a Kernel in the Army, and they can't do a damn thing to me.
 
2013-06-18 01:35:57 PM  
Also,
Fark you Cap'n
This guy is three times the man you could ever hope to be:
i178.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-18 01:40:38 PM  

DrunkWithImpotence: It was one of the few offices you couldn't buy back then.  Rarely, someone would come from "before the mast" to get promoted up, otherwise, the only way to become a naval officer was to spend some years as a midshipman, learning navigation and ship handling et cetera.  Then you took a test in front of some senior captains.  If they passed you, you weren't an officer but you were at least eligible for promotion.  Next step was to find a captain willing to take you on as a junior Lieutenant.


But could you apprentice to be a Pilot?
 
2013-06-18 02:34:48 PM  
Who likes Strawberries on their Commander Crunch?
www.tvworthwatching.com
 
2013-06-18 02:44:35 PM  
You don't have to be the military rank of "captain" to captain a ship. You can be above or below it

Besides I don't think Captain Hook was a Captain but he was captain of the ship
 
2013-06-18 03:02:53 PM  

Elroydb: You don't have to be the military rank of "captain" to captain a ship. You can be above or below it

Besides I don't think Captain Hook was a Captain but he was captain of the ship


well maybe not above captain


/admiral kirk notwithstanding
 
2013-06-18 03:05:23 PM  
thisdistractedglobe.com
...but not "Captain"?
 
2013-06-18 03:41:29 PM  
ALPHA DOG!

I like Apple Mummy better...

King Nutriman is my favorite but you dont get a prize.

Hopefully not obscure.
 
2013-06-18 04:15:26 PM  

Old_Chief_Scott: kqc7011: Old_Chief_Scott: BitwiseShift: Perhaps a man with an unlikely tattoo?

Old Kelsey should be wearing, at a minimum, his highest three ribbons while wearing that shirt.

Not with "wash khakis" the dolphins only is correct.
The wash khakis were phased out a few years ago, but the uniform was correct in the movies time frame.

Those aren't wash khakis.

And they phased out my favorite uniform? The bastards. Must have been right about the same time they brought in those hideous blue camo things.


They looked like wash khakis to me, maybe they are CNT's.
I think that the last diesel boat was decommed. around 1990 and I cannot remember what year I/we were not able to wear the wash khakis anymore.
 
2013-06-18 04:36:29 PM  
"TIL Captain Crunch isn't..."

img.fark.net
 
2013-06-18 04:59:43 PM  
 
2013-06-18 05:02:39 PM  

probesport: [andrewwheen.com image 598x312]


Came for the 2600 Hz whistle. Too bad you can't use one of those to play Stupid Phone Tricks anymore.

/blue boxes were obsolescent by the time I learned about them
//probably best that way
 
2013-06-18 06:01:07 PM  

probesport:


*nods approvingly
 
2013-06-18 06:30:06 PM  

flondrix: DrunkWithImpotence: It was one of the few offices you couldn't buy back then.  Rarely, someone would come from "before the mast" to get promoted up, otherwise, the only way to become a naval officer was to spend some years as a midshipman, learning navigation and ship handling et cetera.  Then you took a test in front of some senior captains.  If they passed you, you weren't an officer but you were at least eligible for promotion.  Next step was to find a captain willing to take you on as a junior Lieutenant.

But could you apprentice to be a Pilot?


Just make sure your nurse hears right when she makes the agreement.  Oh, and check for wording about birthdays.
 
2013-06-18 11:02:18 PM  

Uzzah: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I find it more alarming that a naval service would accept a recruit whose eye bulge out beyond the brim of his hat.

Forget the eyes -- his eyebrows are attached to his hat, not his head.

And he lost a finger on each hand in an accident at the Crunchberry factory.

 
2013-06-19 12:26:42 AM  
I knew a guy who's name was Seaman.  Of course, he joined the Navy.  Seaman Seaman.

I kid you not.
 
2013-06-19 12:58:07 AM  

ekdikeo4: I knew a guy who's name was Seaman.  Of course, he joined the Navy.  Seaman Seaman.

I kid you not.


I guess you had to see that coming...
 
2013-06-19 04:01:28 PM  
img.fark.net

/too busy saving galaxy to give a rat's ass
 
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