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(Huffington Post)   Cap'n Crunch never rose past the rank of Commander. Still sounds better than Seaman Crunch   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 91
    More: Silly, Cap'n Crunch, liars, Tony the Tiger, commanders  
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4879 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2013 at 10:11 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 09:21:34 AM
I find it more alarming that a naval service would accept a recruit whose eye bulge out beyond the brim of his hat.

At least Popeye -- ironically with one eye permanently closed and one eye beady and deep-seated -- only had localized hydro-encephalitis and a crippling iron deficiency.
 
2013-06-18 09:24:20 AM
Major Major Major Major feels no sympathy for him.
 
2013-06-18 09:25:04 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I find it more alarming that a naval service would accept a recruit whose eye bulge out beyond the brim of his hat.

At least Popeye -- ironically with one eye permanently closed and one eye beady and deep-seated -- only had localized hydro-encephalitis and a crippling iron deficiency.


Was Popeye in the Navy?  I always thought he was just a fisherman.
 
2013-06-18 09:27:12 AM
I wonder if it was intentional on Futurama's part to have Admiral Crunch only really be a captain?
theinfosphere.org
 
2013-06-18 09:31:28 AM

EvilEgg: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I find it more alarming that a naval service would accept a recruit whose eye bulge out beyond the brim of his hat.

At least Popeye -- ironically with one eye permanently closed and one eye beady and deep-seated -- only had localized hydro-encephalitis and a crippling iron deficiency.

Was Popeye in the Navy?  I always thought he was just a fisherman.


As usual, the Internet has entirely too much information on the subject.
While for most of his "career" he is portrayed as a civilian sailor, when in the military (ignoring the one "In the Army Now" episode), he was in the Coast Guard
 
2013-06-18 09:33:54 AM
thedroidyourelookingfor.files.wordpress.com
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-06-18 09:39:16 AM

EvilEgg: Was Popeye in the Navy?  I always thought he was just a fisherman.


There is a definite streak of naval seaman in him.
 
2013-06-18 09:48:42 AM
A commander in command of a vessel, which Horatio Magellan Crunch clearly is, would properly be addressed as "Captain."
 
2013-06-18 09:49:41 AM
I just want to say that I think this blog posting is kind of dumb - the number of cuffbands in the Royal Navy (assuming Captain Crunch is even of the Royal navy) of the 18th century weren't always consistent. For instance, here's Sir Edward Pellew - he's wearing a late 18th century Captain's Uniform with two cuffbands.

indefatigable1797.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-18 10:09:05 AM
Perhaps the cap'n doesn't feel the need to adhere to your preconceived notions of what constitutes a cap'n's uniform.
 
2013-06-18 10:12:56 AM
 
2013-06-18 10:13:22 AM

Sybarite: A commander in command of a vessel, which Horatio Magellan Crunch clearly is, would properly be addressed as "Captain."


He's shipped both epaulettes, so he's at least a post-captain with three years' seniority. He's well past commander rank.
 
2013-06-18 10:14:54 AM
Seaman Crunch sounds like a condition you really should have a doctor check out.
 
2013-06-18 10:15:38 AM
Uh, any officer in charge of a vessel is typically referred to as "captain," even if that's not their officially designated rank.

/or skipper
//or CO
 
2013-06-18 10:16:08 AM
Isn't it the case that any naval officer in command of a ship is referred to as Captain even if his rank is below that of Captain?
 
2013-06-18 10:16:54 AM
Because that sonofabiatch has been spreading lies, my cereal does NOT cut the roof of your mouth.
 
2013-06-18 10:16:56 AM

RexTalionis: For instance, here's Sir Edward Pellew - he's wearing a late 18th century Captain's Uniform with two cuffbands.


That painting was made in 1804, when he was promoted to Rear Admiral.
 
2013-06-18 10:18:53 AM
Crunch had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not Cap'n Crunch' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Cap'n Crunch , just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Cap'n Crunch either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Crunch has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'

Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary desire. You see, no one would eat a cereal called Cap'n Westley. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew and he stayed aboard for awhile as first mate, all the time calling me Crunch. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Crunch ever since.
 
2013-06-18 10:21:00 AM
You have no idea whose navy he sailed for. Maybe that's how his country lists the rank of Captain.

/Insert "Leave Capt. Crunch Alone!" photo/

And before you guys start, Count Chocula was a real count. Not one of those guys that show up and get bestowed with a 'honorary' title. Like those guys who go to The Independent Nation of Phoenix, pay a couple of bucks and get the title of their choosing.
 
2013-06-18 10:22:12 AM

Oldiron_79: Because that sonofabiatch has been spreading lies, my cereal does NOT cut the roof of your mouth.


No, it doesn't cut the roof of your mouth, but it is a lot like chewing on an orbital sander.
 
2013-06-18 10:22:35 AM
+1 subby.
 
2013-06-18 10:23:18 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: At least Popeye -- ironically with one eye permanently closed and one eye beady and deep-seated -- only had localized hydro-encephalitis and a crippling iron deficiency.


You forgotsk about the speachk impedimink.
 
2013-06-18 10:23:26 AM
First of all he's a "cap'n" not a "captain". Second, maybe the ranks of the breakfast cereal navy are different.
 
2013-06-18 10:23:41 AM
All naval co

cgraves67: Isn't it the case that any naval officer in command of a ship is referred to as Captain even if his rank is below that of Captain?


Yes. This is the case, and has been for centuries in both the Royal and U.S. navies. The Huffpost author is an ignoramus.

And his bicorne hat indicates a uniform from the 1790s; after that, the orientation of the cocked hat was turned fore and aft. And before the 1790s, the tricorne was preferred.
 
2013-06-18 10:24:24 AM

Krymson Tyde: Perhaps the cap'n doesn't feel the need to adhere to your preconceived notions of what constitutes a cap'n's uniform.


Perhaps a man with an unlikely tattoo?

xmova.com
 
2013-06-18 10:24:45 AM

Oldiron_79: Because that sonofabiatch has been spreading lies, my cereal does NOT cut the roof of your mouth.


YOU LIE

THEY LIE

BURN DOWN EVERYTHING!
 
2013-06-18 10:26:30 AM
I agree, subby.,  Seaman Crunch just leaves a funny taste in my mouth.

/You go into battle with Captain Crunch, you'll live.  You might even like it, but you will be wounded.  Right behind your front teeth.
 
2013-06-18 10:26:54 AM
Maybe he should have married and then divorced a rich man and then he could start his own navy, or shiatty online news site.
 
2013-06-18 10:28:18 AM
Sigh.  Different Navy, different rank insignia.
 
2013-06-18 10:28:30 AM
Well, he could have become an Admiral, but there were some.............awkward situations involving the preteen crew of the Guppy. He got to keep his rank of Cap'n after the inquest, but he was never allowed to be near anyone under 18 since the early 90's.
 
2013-06-18 10:29:36 AM

BitwiseShift: Perhaps a man with an unlikely tattoo?


Old Kelsey should be wearing, at a minimum, his highest three ribbons while wearing that shirt.
 
2013-06-18 10:30:48 AM

cgraves67: Isn't it the case that any naval officer in command of a ship is referred to as Captain even if his rank is below that of Captain?


Yes that is the case any officer despite rank that is in charge of a vessel is called captain.
 
2013-06-18 10:31:38 AM

Harry Freakstorm: You have no idea whose navy he sailed for. Maybe that's how his country lists the rank of Captain.

/Insert "Leave Capt. Crunch Alone!" photo/

And before you guys start, Count Chocula was a real count. Not one of those guys that show up and get bestowed with a 'honorary' title. Like those guys who go to The Independent Nation of Phoenix, pay a couple of bucks and get the title of their choosing.


Was Count Von Count also a real count?  Are they both real vampires?
 
2013-06-18 10:33:02 AM
Don't worry, there is a promotion in his future :

theinfosphere.org
 
2013-06-18 10:34:32 AM

padraig: Don't worry, there is a promotion in his future :


No love for Archduke Chocula?
 
2013-06-18 10:38:08 AM
www.dreamstime.com
It's a f**kin' cartoon character on a goddamn cereal box, you aspie twunt!
Stop over-analyzing breakfast and get a REAL job, loser!
 
2013-06-18 10:41:14 AM
Never needed insignia:

www.toonopedia.com

/hot
 
2013-06-18 10:42:01 AM

Sybarite: A commander in command of a vessel, which Horatio Magellan Crunch clearly is, would properly be addressed as "Captain."


This

/matey
 
2013-06-18 10:45:29 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I find it more alarming that a naval service would accept a recruit whose eye bulge out beyond the brim of his hat.


Forget the eyes -- his eyebrows are attached to his hat, not his head.
 
2013-06-18 10:48:25 AM

PacManDreaming: SOGGIES SUCK! (NSFW)


The soggies aren't a problem when you have no milk...
 
2013-06-18 10:52:15 AM
andrewwheen.com
 
2013-06-18 10:53:52 AM

cgraves67: Isn't it the case that any naval officer in command of a ship is referred to as Captain even if his rank is below that of Captain?


I came here to say this, almost verbatim.

Trivia:  When an Army captain is aboard a Navy ship, he is referred as 'Major', since there is only one
captain on any ship.  And a Naval Captain is equivalent in rank to an Army Colonel.
 
2013-06-18 10:59:22 AM

serial_crusher: The soggies aren't a problem when you have no milk...


Just have some Wheat Thins and beer, instead.
 
2013-06-18 10:59:43 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-18 11:00:10 AM
At least we can be safe in knowing that his army namesake is legitimate.

weknowmemes.com
 
2013-06-18 11:01:01 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I find it more alarming that a naval service would accept a recruit whose eye bulge out beyond the brim of his hat.

At least Popeye -- ironically with one eye permanently closed and one eye beady and deep-seated -- only had localized hydro-encephalitis and a crippling iron deficiency.


Recruit? For that matter, seaman? He's an officer.
Tip: military officers in his day usually did not do it by working up from the enlisted ranks... Nepotism and outright buying commissions was how it tended to work.
 
2013-06-18 11:02:25 AM

DjangoStonereaver: cgraves67: Isn't it the case that any naval officer in command of a ship is referred to as Captain even if his rank is below that of Captain?

I came here to say this, almost verbatim.

Trivia:  When an Army captain is aboard a Navy ship, he is referred as 'Major', since there is only one
captain on any ship.  And a Naval Captain is equivalent in rank to an Army Colonel.


Hmm, perhaps the Cap'n is some sort of spy.  An excerpt, if you will, from Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon:
Grandmother has always had this knack for telling people the obvious in a way that is scrupulously polite but that makes the recipient feel like a butthead for having wasted her time.
"It is, uh, I think, kind of unusual," Randy says, "for a man to be in both the Army and the Navy during the same war. Usually it's one or the other."
"Lawrence had both an Army uniform and a Navy uniform," Grandmother says, in the same tone she'd used to say he had both a small intestine and a large intestine, "and he would wear whichever one was appropriate."
"Of course he would," Randy says.
 
2013-06-18 11:03:09 AM
I don't like chilli powder
 
2013-06-18 11:04:49 AM
Seaman crunch:  What a teenager's underwear feels like an hour after watching his first porno.
 
2013-06-18 11:05:15 AM

probesport: [andrewwheen.com image 598x312]


WANT!
 
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